↪ yeah, we're rolling with the thunder

now take a breath, we're going under ↩

Denki found himself half-carrying, half-dragging your limp body in his arms, as with every step you took your feet seemed to fail more and more and more until it was as though you were entirely paralyzed, nothing but the heaving of your chest and silver, moonlit tears running down your cheeks proving that your body still held any signs of life whatsoever.  When the two of you reached the gate of your backyard Denki easily flew to the top of it at lightning speed.  Before you really had time to register what was occurring, you found a hand outstretched towards you, and perhaps for no other reason besides you didn't know what else to do or where to go or what to say, you took it, apprehensively scaling the wall with his aid to land rather ungracefully (at least, on your part - somehow Denki always made it look easy, except for that time when he tried to ninja stealth it and jumped down in an attempt to roll at the last minute to his feet, only Denki was certainly no gymnast despite all his tricks, and his sole reward was a fractured collarbone.)  In a daze you followed him as he made his way to a sight more familiar than anything else.  This was your backyard, and you knew it like the back of your hand, but there was one corner that had always stood out, always been his, always been yours, always belonged to the both of you.

You'd always played here.  Castle, house, adventurers, tag, hide and seek, kickball...everything always started here, at the base of a tilted, lopsided Japanese maple whose vibrant vermilion leaves were only just beginning to lose their color as they shed their bright coat to fare the cold of fall and winter.  The two of you slumped down beneath it and the darkening sky, atop a field of yellow lilies.  Denki knew these flowers.  So did you.  They were the same silken, sandy sunsets of blossoms that you both had used to knit together into flower crowns, trading them around, building them up with red leaves from the maple and the occasional white daisies that sprung up through your yard every now and then, each one signifying a different aspect depending on whichever game the two of you were playing.  Castle had arguably been your favorite.  There, lilies and maple leaves represented the Prince, while lilies and daisies constituted the Princess.  Denki was yellow and red, you were yellow and white, back when you and he were just children, young and dumb and naive.  Even though it had been years, the flora was still as bright and beautiful as he had remembered them to be.

Even though it had been years, perhaps not much had really changed.  There you were again - just teenagers, still children, young and dumb and naive, back in the same field of flowers beneath the shade of the ancient towering tree, leaves slowly drifting down in the light wind as the signs of summer continued to roll into those of fall.  God, how Denki longed for those moments back.  He longed for anything, of course, but for you to be there beside him trembling and crying.  Even as you grew less shaky and began to wipe at the remnants of your tears, he knew that he would do whatever needed to put a smile on your face.  He always would.  He always will.

A few moments passed of nothing but comfortable silence with the exception of the gentle breeze ruffling the vegetation, the exception of the rise and fall of each others' chests, the beats of your heart, the velvet flowers swaying back and forth against soft skin.  There was nothing but the two of them, the stars, the sky, and nature, all together, all quiet, all in a rare harmonious happenstance that felt as though it both could and should last a lifetime, Denki beside you, you beside Denki.  A noise grew in Denki's throat.  He wanted to say something, but didn't know what.  Still, though, he was scared of breaking the silence.  After finding you the way he had atop your porch, his worry had skyrocketed, and if he knew anything about himself, he would probably say something stupid and insensitive and only hurt you more.  He realized with pained eyes how much you were already hurt.  Too much.

It broke him to see you like that.

It broke you to so much as even look at him.  He had been your best friend.  He had been the person you couldn't live without, the first friend you had ever made, the earliest playmate, the funniest guy you'd ever known, the most caring boy you could have ever asked for.  Never in your wildest dreams did you deserve him, and you knew.  Especially now.

Soon, you wouldn't have him.

Why had you done it?  Dating?  You weren't ever really in love, were you?  Not with Tetsutetsu, at least.  The only thing you'd felt towards him was the same thing you'd always felt towards Denki - surely that wasn't love.  That was fireworks and stomachaches and smiles and heartbreak and passion and fireflies and hills and valleys and twisting roads and promised happy endings.  That was what love was, wasn't it?  Just wanting to be with someone alone was different.

Why?  You'd been so caught up in your own playful nature and your desire to grow that you actually reversed the entire process, winding up as nothing more than an idiotic child, bawling her eyes out in the middle of the night, waiting to be rescued by someone, anyone.  And of course that someone was Denki.  It was Denki.  It always was Denki.

Always.

But not anymore.  You'd stepped too far, pained him too much.  You'd cut off your ties and stopped meeting up with him or even talking with him or texting or calling or even waving at him as the two of you saw each other from across the bustling roads.  You'd always said he was your best friend.  You'd always said you would have done anything for him.  He was the person you wanted to grow up with, forever follow wherever he went, to remain by him as he remained by you.

You had told him you would always be there for him.

And then you had left him.

Soon enough your throat grew somehow even more taut and even more tears escaped you, albeit they were silent this time around, and the walls of the open world seemed to be closing in on you, growing closer and closer, swallowing up Denki into their void and coming for you next, closer, closer, you could hear your own breathing, hear you own heartbeat, and so you said the only thing you could in that moment, the only phrase you could get out, the only words you managed to string together amidst the clouded, misty haze that hung all around you.  "I'm sorry."  And before you had a chance to realize what you were doing, you continued, "I'm sorry that I left you.  I'm sorry that I - I just, I didn't realize what I was doing.  I didn't know I was going to hurt you.  I didn't w-want to.  I was stupid."  Your head was throbbing and your hands flew to your temples as you shot up to a seated position, drawing your knees to your chest and squeezing them close as if your life depended on it and practically screamed, "I was so damn stupid, Denki!  I'm so goddamn stupid!  I hurt you!  Why are you still here?  Why the hell are you still here?"

In a blur of motion, Denki had grabbed your hands and pulled your body into his, feeling your tears seep through his shirt and your ragged, labored breaths coming and going in hitched forms.  "Because I..."  Because he loved you.  Because I love you.  I love you so damn much.  [Y/N], I LOVE YOU!  Just say it!  JUST SAY IT YOU MORON!  SAY IT SAY IT SAY IT SAY IT YOU PUSSY!

"...I'm your best friend.  And I always will be, no matter what happens, because you're special to me, and I never want to lose you."

Because he loved you, and he always would, no matter what happened, because you were his world, because he never wanted to lose you, and oh how he loved you, and oh how he hated himself for being too afraid to say it.

↪ we're catching lightning in a bottle

don't give a fuck about tomorrow ↩