I slowly opened my eyes, and what welcomed me was a white room. I must be in a hospital room. Unti-unti akong bumangon at dagli kong naramdaman ang kirot sa likod ko. Muli kong naalala ang nangyari. Maging ang balang sinalo ko para kay Ismael. Hindi ko mapigilang mapaluha.

"You're awake..."

I turned to my right to see Ismael's face. His eyes were swollen, and he even had a dark circle under them. He must not have been sleeping well, because he's looking over me.

"Ismael." My voice cracked when tears welled up in my eyes. I immediately opened my arms to ask for a hug, which he did. His thighs are in between my legs.

"Jothea, my love..." he mouthed as he sniffed my scent. I felt his embrace tighten.

"Ismael, hindi ako makahinga," giit ko, pero hindi niya ako pinakawalan. Narinig ko na lamang siyang parang sumisinghot, dahil tahimik na umiiyak. Patuloy ang paghaplos niya sa buhok at likod ko na para bang ako ang kailangang paamuhin ngayong siya naman ang umiiyak.

"Brace yourself. I couldn't hold you like this for almost a week."

"But you can hug me again later. I won't leave."

"Who are you trying to fool again? You always leave when you have the chance, Jothea." Bakas ang inis sa tono ng boses niya. "Palagi mo akong iniiwan. Hindi ka yata naniniwalang hindi ko kakayanin kapag wala ka."

"But you seem fine, you know? You still look so handsome," biro ko para mawala na ang pagtatampo niya sa akin.

"Tsk." Umiling siya. "H-hold on. I forgot to call the doctor. I was carried away." He pressed a button to call for assistance checking my vital signs and status.

"Everything's normal, and the baby is fine," the doctor said, which made me remember that I do have a baby inside my stomach. I almost forgot about this.

"You're twenty weeks pregnant now, Miss Alvandra, in case Mr. Mondalla hasn't told you yet."

My mouth dropped open. Twenty weeks? As in five months? Kaya ba hindi ako dinadatnan nitong mga nakaraang buwan dahil buntis ako? I thought I was just stressed, so I experienced irregularities.

Wait, five months ago... Where are we?

Tuluyang nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang mapagtanto kung saan namin posibleng nabuo ang batang nasa sinapupunan ko. That also confirmed that this baby is Ismael's.

I was relieved.

That was when Ismael and I went to Baguio.

Nilingon ko si Ismael na ngayo'y walang humpay na nagpapasalamat sa doctor habang hinahatid ito palabas ng kwarto. I can't believe this. Does it mean that four months from now we will see the little Ismael, or may it be a mini me?

That made me tear up more. If this was the reason why I woke up again, I am grateful. I thought that day would be my last on Earth, but then again, Ismael saved me like he always does.

He walked towards me and noticed that I was crying. He immediately wiped it off his lips, but that made me cry into rivers. Nakahawak ako sa damit niya habang humahagulgol. I am really thankful that I am here. God gave me another chance to live. Muli na naman niya akong binibigyan ng dahilan para lumaban at mabuhay.

"We are now three," he said.

I nodded. "I was supposed to tell you that day," sambit ko. "I'm sorry that I failed to tell you. I plan to surprise you because I want to see how you react."

"Don't worry about it anymore. I am happy—more than happy—because you're here safe with our Cal."

"Cal?" Kumunot ang noo ko. "Was that a name?"

"Yes, baby. I recently came up with our child's name. It would be Cal Mondalla."

Namangha ako sa sinabi niya. Huwag niyong sabihing iyon ang pinagkaabalahan niya, habang binabantayan niya ako rito. I doubt it; baka nga hindi lang isang pangalan ang mayroon na siya ngayon, baka labing-dalawa.

"Why would all of the names in this world make you choose Cal? Sinasabihan mo pa ako noon na ang pangit kong mag-isip ng pangalan dahil ang ibinigay kong pangalan sa pusa natin ay Mael, eh, galing naman sa pangalan mo 'yon!"

Tumawa siya. "Cal as in Calculus."

Ako naman ang natawa. "Mukhang walang tatawag sa pangalan ng anak natin dahil pangalan palang nakaka-trauma na," I jested.

"Were you traumatized because of the subject I teach or because of me?"

"Pwede both?"

We laugh at each other. I missed talking to him like this. Makipag-asaran at makipagtawanan, pero sa lahat ng namimiss ko, ang pinakanami-miss ko ay ang mga labi niya. Hinawakan ko ang damit niya, upang hilahin siya palapit sa akin. I claimed his soft lips, and he immediately responded to my devouring.

I felt his hands on my waist, down to my hips. They roamed, even inside my hospital gown. My heart is beating, celebrating that it's alive.

"Hmmm...Ismael..." I moaned when I felt the warmth of his rough hands on my back. I have no bra, so he can immediately access my body or even my breasts if he would like.

"I miss you so much, my love," sambit niya habang nakatitig sa mga mata ko. He even tucked the hair strands underneath my ear.

"Ni-lock mo ba ang pinto?" tanong ko dahil alam ko na ang ibig niyang sabihin.

"I did," he whispered. "But are you alright? Masakit pa ba ito?" Kinapa niya ang likod ko kung saan may nakapalibot na benda, dahil doon ako tinamaan ng bala.

"Don't mind me. I miss you too, Ismael," pag-amin ko.

I heard him sigh as he sat on the bed. Sumandal siya sa headboard, at hinila niya akong umupo sa kandungan niya. "Why would you even do that in the first place? You don't have to sacrifice your life for me. I should be the one doing that, not you, Jothea." Pinagagalitan niya ako na parang bata, pero hindi ko alam kung bakit sa sandaling iyon ay mas kinikilig pa ako dahil nakikita kong concern siya sa akin.

"Because I might die if I were the one seeing you lying on this bed," I admitted. My hands are now resting on his shoulder. "Mas malakas ka sa akin. Mas kaya mo. Ako, baka masiraan ako ng bait. And that was the least I could do for you. You always saved me, Ismael. It's always you who's giving everything. Gusto ko ring magbigay, kung buhay ko ang tanging maiaalay ko sa 'yo, bakit hindi?"

"But I don't want you to leave me like that. I don't want you to sacrifice yourself for me. You always make my heart break, Jothea, but ironically, it was you who could only mend it by this." Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko, at hinalikan iyon. "Don't ever do that again. I'm begging you."

"You know that I will do that again, Ismael. Don't make me promise."

Wala na siyang nagawa, kung hindi ang umiling na lamang at yakapin ako.

"Napakatigas talaga ng ulo mo. You always put your life in danger, as if you don't have someone who would be worried about you."

"Because your life is more precious than mine. Ever since I was born, it was as if it were just a pure mistake. It was just you who made my life special. Without you, I'm just plain living lifeless."

He looked at me. "No, don't say that." He caressed my tummy. "When this one is born, I will not be the only one who will prove to you that you are relevant in this world, Jothea. You are not a mistake. You would be the mother of men who would be the line of gentlemen who respect and treat women just like I treat you. If our parents failed to be parents to us, then at least we shouldn't be like them, right?"

Naalala ko ang pag-uusap namin ni Joth noon. This is also what we wanted. We don't want to be like our parents. Kung magkakaroon man ng pagkakataong mabuhay kaming muli, mas pipiliin ko na lang na ako ang maging magulang ng mga magulang ko at sila na lang ang maging anak ko.

"We shouldn't be like them, Ismael," I stated as I placed his head on my chest. We remained just like this for a moment before we chose to sleep together on the bed. Magkayakap.

*****

Ismael told me that Raviel and Roxsielle were in jail. The gathered evidence proved their unlawful deeds; that's why they are facing a pile of cases and sentences. Even the rape case in which I was involved was submitted to the authorities, making Raviel face a case without bail.

Sa isang banda, hindi ko rin mapigilang maawa sa kanilang dalawa dahil ako ang pangunahing sanhi kung bakit nagtanim sila ng ganoon kalaking galit sa mundo na kaya nilang mandamay ng ibang mga inosenteng tao. Nabalitaan ko rin na muntikan na rin pala nilang pasabugin ang Safira Company. Hindi tuloy ako makaharap kay Miss Sapphire, at sa iba ko pang katrabaho dahil sa nangyari. Kung hindi naman dahil sa akin, ay hindi mailalagay ang buhay nila sa kapahamakan.

Ismael and I went back to their residences. He said his father wanted to talk to him about something I didn't know. He said he'd tell me after. I'm glad that he's finally talking to his father now. I don't know what happened, but I am really happy na hindi na nila iniiwasan ang isa't isa. And the smiles of both of them have been radiating since the day we came here.

"Jothea! My sweetheart!" pagbati sa akin ng mom ni Ismael na kararating palang sa mansyon. Kasunod niya si Isa, na tumango lang sa akin bago dumeretso sa paakyat sa kaniyang kwarto.

"Don't worry. She's not mad at you. It is just her usual face," sambit pa ni Ma'am Elisse bago ako niyayang magtsaa.

Sa totoo lang, hindi ako makapagsalita o makatingin man lang sa kaniya nang maayos. Alam kong nabalitaan niya na rin ang nangyari sa akin maging ang panghahalay sa akin ni Raviel. Sinong mayaman ang hindi makaaalam ng bagay na iyon?

Inabot niya sa akin, ang tasa ng tsaa na siyang tinanggap ko naman. "Careful, it's still hot."

Tumango ako at hinigop iyon. "Ahh!" sigaw ko nang mapaso ako. Agad siyang lumapit sa akin para suriin ako. Kinuha niya rin ang tasa mula sa akin. "Darling, are you okay?"

Nagpatawag kaagad siya ng helper para dalhin sa kaniya ang first-aid kit. "I told you it was hot. Why do you look like your mind is out of place? Are you okay? You don't even look into my eyes," wika niya pa habang dinadampian ng ointment ang labi ko.

"I'm s-sorry po," sagot ko na lamang at piniling sulyapan siya sandali.

"Hey, I saw you, sweetie. You just averted your gaze. Why? What happened? What did I do that made you uncomfortable? Was it because of me or pregnancy hormones?"

I shook my head. "H-hindi po."

"Then was it because of what happened to you?"