Tristan lived in the biggest house in our neighborhood, directly at the end of a cul de sac, cars currently lined and parked on the street and grass. I knew he often stayed in that giant house alone with his parents traveling internationally for work, and in seeing the insane amount of space on the inside, I wondered if he ever got lonely.

Tonight it was packed with our peers and some students I recognized from other schools. Girls kicked their shoes off, tucked into various corners of the rooms and boys stripped themselves of their jackets, wearing loosened ties around their necks.

Jimin held on to my hand, leading us sideways past the bodies that filled the living room, a sheen of sweat covering us as we found a small opening against the wall that I could lean against comfortably. He stood at an angle, keeping one arm around me while we chatted with a few people who came over. Hobi was as lively as ever, keeping the party energized as he danced around with people in the middle of the living room.

I kept most of my focus on Jimin, entranced by him in a way that made me admit to the thing I'd been denying and trying to figure out for most of my life. Despite my years of journaling and researching, I hadn't yet accounted my feelings into the data I had and now that I did, I was sure that I could accept that it was all real.

"Are you okay?" He offered me his cup and I realized I probably seemed dazed.

"Can we go somewhere to talk?" I yelled over the music, watching as he assessed the crowd and path we needed to take for some privacy. He nodded toward the stairs, fewer people on the second floor of the house, and started scooching by people with me behind him to find an empty room.

We went past the line of people outside the bathroom, peeking into a room where a couple was making out and another that greeted us with a gust of smoke before stepping into the empty master's suite. We were careful not to disturb anything, sitting next to each other on the bench at the foot of the bed.

He chuckled as he tugged a few strands of my hair back into place, making me realize that I hadn't looked in the mirror since the ride over. When he finished he pecked from my cheek to my lips, his hand curved around the nape of my neck.

"I think you're my soulmate." I breathed when we pulled away. I felt his mouth spread into a smile as he kissed along my jaw, everything I was feeling spilling out of me before I could question any of it. "I think I could spend forever with you. Maybe we'll get an apartment together if we end up at the same school and then once we graduate—"

He stilled, his brow pulled together when he leaned away from me, dropping his hands to his sides. "What are you talking about, Sel?" He questioned.

His tone indicated that I said something wrong so I explained further, rambling off to him. "I finally accepted tonight that this whole soulmate thing might just be real. There's this whole history about soulmates in my family that's hard to explain but I'll tell you about it later. The point is that I'm pretty sure you're mine and that's why we both have this feeling about each other."

"I'm not your soulmate. We're only seventeen." He shook his head, the laugh he let out one of amusement and disbelief.

My heart rate picked up, fear crawling over my skin. "You said you love me." There was a tingling behind my eyes and nose that I tried to fight.

He stood. "I do, but we have our whole lives ahead of us. We're not even the same people that we'll be in five or ten years. Plus, I got into Paris Marais. I was going to tell you tonight." He confessed.

The first tear fell down my cheek, my eyes cast down. "Then I'll come to Paris. I can study anywhere." I negotiated.

"Sel, you can't. Whatever this whole crazy, soulmate thing is you think we have, I can't give you that." He said. I blinked a couple of times, the water in my eyes pooling out. He didn't seem to know what to do, standing in front of me before leaning down to kiss the top of my head. "I'm sorry." He sighed, running a frustrated hand through his hair before leaving the room.

I walked to the bathroom, my makeup smeared and those red blotches that I couldn't hide starting to appear around my eyes from crying. I used a tissue to clean up as best as I could, keeping my gaze down as I headed back downstairs to escape the party and night.

"Sel." Hobi's voice took me off guard as he met me right at the bottom of the stairs, lifting my chin so that he could see my face better. "What did he do?" His voice changed immediately at the sight of me.

I tugged his hand off of me, looking back down and shaking my head. "I need to leave." I pushed past him, keeping my path toward the front door but stopping when I was caught by a booming voice from behind me.

"What did you do?" Hobi yelled, a grit in his voice from talking through his teeth. I spun around, seeing that he'd turned his questioning to Jimin, gripping his collar from where they stood just at the edge of the kitchen. He didn't give Jimin a second to answer before pulling his fist back, connecting it with the side of Jimin's face.

People swarmed them, trying to pull Hobi away but he kept fighting, shoving people off for the chance to get at Jimin again. Jimin landed a punch when he stood back up, but Hobi was enraged and unstoppable.

Tears welled in my eyes again as I pushed through the crowd of people to get to him, able to get in front of him as Tristan was finally able to hold him back for a second. I pushed at his chest to get his attention, keeping at it when he tried to move past me again. "Stop, what the hell are you doing?" I shouted, pushing him again to put some distance between them.

I caught Gabby's eye as we passed her just by the door, Hobi still angry and dragging his feet as I led him out to the sidewalk.

"Why would you do something like that?" I asked, his eyes and focus still set on getting back into the house as I pushed him farther out, people watching the entire scene play out from the yard. "You're an idiot."

I kept on, needing to get away from everyone's gaze and wonder. "You're the one who's an idiot. Stop pushing me." He retorted, his chest huffing with fury. Honestly, in all our years as friends I never saw him this mad. If he wasn't my best friend, he would have been a little scary.

"You stop trying to go back there." I stood in front of him, blocking him from walking back toward Tristan's house.

We'd finally walked far enough so that we were out of earshot and eyesight. "What happened, Sel?"

My feet were aching. I managed to keep my shoes on all night, but hadn't expected that I'd be doing this much walking. "We broke up. You didn't have to hit him over it." I crossed my arms over my chest.

"I told you what would happen if he hurt you." He replied, and I noticed the broken skin on his knuckles and cut on his lip.

"So that's how you deal with things now?" I rolled my eyes at him.

He didn't think or hesitate with his response. "When someone hurts the girl I'm in love with, yeah." His words stopped me in my tracks but he didn't realize until he was a few steps away from me, his shoulders dropping as he turned back around. "Come on Sel, you had to know." He sighed, looking at me for another moment before turning to sit on the edge of the sidewalk, his face in his hands.

I had a million questions for him but didn't even know where to begin. I moved to sit next to him, pulling the bottom of my dress into a ball of fabric that piled onto my lap. "Why wouldn't you tell me, Hobe?" I asked, releasing a heavy breath.

He let out something that sounded like a mix of a sigh and laugh. "Why did you and Jimin break up?" He changed the subject.

"I was stupid. I got in my head about that whole soulmate bullshit and told him that he was mine. I actually let a fantasy be the end of my relationship." I couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.

Hobi wasn't laughing with me, his face serious as he spoke. "It's not bullshit."

I scoffed, shaking my head at him. "You're literally the person who's been telling me it's not real my entire life. Don't tell me you're suddenly a believer." I responded.

He leaned to the side, reaching into his back pocket to retrieve his wallet and looked at it as if it held the most important, but cursed treasure in the world. His brow furrowed as he stared at it thoughtfully, before setting it on the pavement between us. "First, I need to do something." He was resolved but tugged at his ear in the way I knew he did when he was nervous.

Somehow I knew what he wanted and met him halfway as he leaned in to kiss me. I let myself feel it, different from the fireworks I had with Jimin. With him, it was more of a raging campfire, the flame so big it could warm a hoard of people, the comfort and necessity of it enough to keep it lit for an eternity.