A/N: this chapter is dedicated to @tellmepayne - thank you for being my first and continued story supporter - it means so much to me and keeps me writing!

Harry's POV

I am surrounded by a disorientating blackness.  I know I am either mad or in hell or perhaps both.  I must be.  The inevitability that I would lose my mind has been threatening my whole being all week.  As time dragged on, it was only a matter of when, not if.  It appears it has finally overcome me and succeeded in pulling me into the depths of its never-ending vacuum. 

I didn't believe it would, after all, I'd held it together for five years.  I thought I was strong enough to wade through and break out of the other side; to fight the torturous demons sabotaging my head and trying to hold me against my will.  But now, as prominent goosebumps peak over the cold skin on my arm, I shudder that the continued onslaught of my thoughts has captured me and finally I have given in.  In five days I surrendered and I am now a prisoner in my own head. 

As my eyes adjust to the darkness and my lacklustre overworked senses wake, it dawns on me that it is only my arm that is chilled.  The rest of my body is warm, heat radiating into me from an unknown source.  As I fully rouse from sleep, the realisation hits me that I am far from mad.  I have not been sucked into the darkness because I am not alone.  She is beside me.  Lily is really here as she promised she would be. 

I move my cold arm underneath the blanket and curl it around her waist to pull her gently back into me, just in case this is my mind playing tricks on me.  The smooth curve of her back slots perfectly into the hollow of my front, as though we are carved from the same piece of wood; the scent of her shampoo laced through the layers of her soft hair filter up my nostrils and tickle against my lips; the rhythmic rise and fall of her sleepy breaths flow gently in and out of her mouth; her legs are entwined with mine, binding us together.  It is not my imagination playing games with me.  She is real.     

She sleeps cradled against me.  She is with me, just as she was yesterday.  A friend enough to care, persistent enough to not walk away, patient enough to listen to the ramblings of my overflowing mind and ultimately loving enough to pass no judgment.  She was simply here, holding my hand, soothing and guiding me through the culmination of my processing journey. 

I divulged to her not only the most intimate deep parts of my mind but my vulnerability and tears, those parts of me no one apart from my band brothers, my mum and Steve the Shrink have ever seen.  As my arm rests across her body, hers moves to rest on top and her hand slides over mine, entwining our fingers together. 

I am definitely not mad.  I am here and so is she.  I owe the sanity of my mind to her.

I hug her just a little bit tighter and lean to brush my lips across her cheek.  She slides away from me then rolls onto her back, tensing both her legs in a stretch as they push against mine under the cover.  Gingerly, I bend my elbow and rest my head on my palm.  The room is considerably lighter now and I want to watch the beautiful creature beside me wake.  I want to breath in every movement, every expression and every moment of her stirring. 

A wide yawn contorts her face as she begins to come round.  Her heads falls to the side against me and she rubs her eyes.  Her lips part slightly as she lets out a small breath then yawns again.  It's far from a delicate ladylike yawn, instead a massive, jaw-open, lion-like roaring yawn that turns the corners of my mouth up as I take in her adorableness.

She lifts her arms above her head and stretches her body out again.  I can feel the whole of her pressed taut against me and it takes all my restraint to keep me from taking her in my arms and making love to her here and now.

Her eyelashes flicker wildly before her eyes lazily open like petals of flowers unfolding into the sunshine.  The depth of her deep browns look up at me and a small, coy smile flashes across her lips.

"Hi," she whispers sleepily. 

"Hiiiii," I smile down at her and reach to tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear. 

She takes my hand in hers, bringing it to her lips and skimming soft kisses across my knuckles.  "You look better, you have some colour in your cheeks."  Her warm hand cups my face as her thumb tenderly strokes across it.  "How are you feeling?  She says it so softly but there's apprehension in every word.  She bites her bottom lip and her eyes look glazed with worry.    

"Better, so much better."  I nod decisively then state simply.  "Free." 

All the time I am looking at her reaction and it's only then I notice she's been holding her breath.

"I am so glad," unsteadily whispers from between her lips.  Her face scrunches up, creasing her perfect complexion with lines of angst as she pulls her lips into her mouth pressing them tightly together.  Her arms wrap around my shoulders and she pulls me to her in an attempt to hide. 

Even though I can't see her, her eyes give away her truth on my neck as tears spill like a silent waterfall flowing over my skin.  I try to push her away from me to look at her but she desperately clings onto me.  I can only hold her tighter as my palm lays flat caressing against the middle of her back, trying to soothe her. 

"Hey, hey, please don't cry, I cannot bear to see you upset."  The fact that she experienced my therapy processing at all is painful enough for me but seeing how much it has affected her rips guilt right through me.

"I was so worried about you, I felt so hopeless to help you."  She buries her face deeper into me.

"You did more than you will ever know Lily."  I finally break away then lean down and press my lips gently to hers.  I pull back leaving the minutest gap between us.  "Everyone talks at me, they want something from me, no one ever stops to listen to me, apart from you it seems." 

She cups my cheeks and pulls my forehead onto hers.  "I was glad I was here, I can't bear to think you could have gone through all of that last night alone." She shakes her head from side to side stroking our noses together. 

I kiss away the droplets of moisture staining her cheeks.  They are sweet against my lips, hydrating them as I drink her in.  "My god, where did you come from and what did I do to deserve you?" 

She glances at me so fondly, "That's what friends are for Harry."

The term 'friends' hits me square in the chest so hard I suck in a huge breath.  Yes I've been through the worst time this week but I've treated her like shit by ignoring her like I did and yet she's still here. 

"Friends?" puffs out of my mouth on my breath.  "Lily you are so much more to me than just a friend."

I have never in my entire life felt the need to show a woman how much I need them, until her.  I need to show her how I feel about her, not just for last night but how I have really felt since arriving here. 

I roll my body onto her, resting on my elbows and sandwiching her legs in between mine.  My hands cradle her head in between them as I crash my lips onto hers.  Our lips, like us, fit together in a slow passionate motion gliding across each other.  Her body under mine feels exactly as I imagined it would; a piece of sheer heaven. 

Our kisses are soothing loving kisses but judging by the restriction of my jeans, becoming unbearably uncomfortable as my body ignites, if we carry on they will become lustful sexual kisses.  I sense she feels it too as her hips begin to hungrily push up against mine and she moans into my mouth.  Our bodies press together in sweet rhythm as I begin to glide over her. 

"Is this ok?"  In truth I wouldn't normally ask.  Every other woman I have been with, whether it be a one off, a casual fling or something more, there's been no need too because actions between two people speak louder than words.  With her though it's different.  She's seen the whole me, not just the guarded outer shell but also the vulnerable inner core.  That makes her more special than anyone I have ever known and in my desire to show her how much I want her, I need to know she wants me too. 

"Yes," she pants into my mouth.  Her hands grapple with the back of my shirt and tug it up.  I peel away from her and she pulls it over my head.  My silver chain falls back against my skin and my cross hits the middle of her chest.  Her hooded eyes follow its path then she flicks them up to meet mine and there it is.  The look in her eyes of sheer lust and I can't hold it back anymore. 

I rip her top up and over her head then my mouth attacks her neck.  My tongue licks along her jaw then I graze my teeth over her soft skin.  My fingers slide down her body and tickle over the lace of her bra.  She arches her back and resting my body weight on one arm, my other reaches around to unclasp it.  I kneel up in between her legs and yank it down her arms, disguarding it on the floor and returning my body weight onto her. 

My lips cannot tear themselves away from the sweetness of her skin.  Her breasts peek in my hands.  My needy mouth closes around one nipple as my fingers caress the other.  They are the perfect handful with which to tease, to suck, to play and lose myself in.  Her back arches again as I tug her nipple between my teeth and she moans grabbing my hair in her fists.     

Her body is like a temple to me, a place to answer all my prayers and fulfill my desires. 

Suddenly her hands are flat against my chest and she pushes us both to sit up.  Her hands run down my torso, her delicate fingers tracing patterns around my pecks then down the ridges of my abs.  She tickles the fine hair of my happy trail and smiles into my mouth.  She flicks undone nimbly the button on my jeans.  Her tongue forces it's way into my mouth and her teeth grasp my tongue between them, biting down and tugging, making a sound vibrate from the back of my throat that I have never produced before.  She releases my tongue and places small pecks upon my lips.  Her eyes delve into mine and the words I have longed to hear seep seductively out of her mouth, "I want you, all of you, inside of me." 

I pull sharply away from her and peck her lips, "one second."  Then I am up and striding away from her but she doesn't seem phased.  I race into the kitchen to grab the foil from my wallet.

Little does she know that when I came here, I had vowed myself to six months of celibacy.  I wasn't planning on seeing anyone so it should have been easy and therefore, I didn't bring any protection with me.  I chuckle inside at how different this could have played out had I not had my trusty 'just in case' I keep in my wallet. 

I jog back to her and she spots the package in my hand as a smirk rises up on one side of her delicious mouth.  She is sitting, perched on the edge of the sofa but stands up when I am in front of her.  She grabs the foil from me freeing both my hands to skim down her naked upper body to unbutton her jeans. 

I pull them down her legs and she steps out of them then on my way back up to her, I smother kisses up each leg, alternating as I go.  When I reach the lace of her underwear I pause to take in her beautiful scent.  My fingers stroke at her hips and I am just about to pull her underwear down when she grabs me up to standing and sits back down on the edge of the sofa.  She yanks me forwards in between her legs and nuzzles her mouth in my happy trail again whilst returning the favour and pushing my jeans down my legs. 

I am usually the one in full control.  I like it that way.  But with her, this continuous switch of domination between us is refreshingly intoxicating and fucking hot.  She is all the therapy I need right now.  I am absolute putty in her hands to see where she is going to take me. 

As I stand in front of her, her face is level with my crotch and she places a small kiss against the front of my boxers.  Her fingers slip under the waistband and as her hands run over my buttocks she tugs them down with her thumbs.  I spring free and she glances up at me with a sheer look of indulgent pleasure at the sight of my pulsating erection.  Her hands wrap around my thighs and she leans forward and peppers small kisses along my shaft.  I know I am manically twitching and my head falls back as my hands tangle into her hair.  Her wet tongue then licks up my length, circles my tip and glides back down again practically sending me over the edge.   

"Fuck," falls from my mouth as I hear the foil tear and her hands work deftly to place it over me. 

Her tongue trails up my entire torso as she rises up.  She presses herself up against me and her hard nipples poke into my skin as her breasts squash against my chest.  "Yes please," she responds seductively to my expletive and I can't stifle my laugh. 

"It'd be my pleasure."  I reply raising my eyebrows at her, as my hands find their way onto her buttocks and I squeeze them suggestively.  Our lips crash together again as I grab her underwear and practically shred them off of her.  Guiding her back down onto the sofa, I fall on top of her but then I still.

"Are you ok?"  She's totally out of breath and surprised at my hesitation.

"Yes, but I want to take it slow, to savour this moment with you."

Her hand cups at the nape of my neck and she pulls me to her.  Her delectable lips press gracefully to mine and she kisses me gently.  I hover tentatively over her entrance then not breaking our kiss, push slowly inside of her.  The feeling of being surrounded by her walls is exquisite beyond belief and I slowly begin to glide my body over her delicious skin. 

She wraps her legs around my waist with a tightening grip and I push further and further into her, stretching her more.  As I take her higher and higher she closes her eyes and throws her head back in delight.  Her breaths rapidly increase and she bucks her hips up into mine, desperately trying to take more of me. 

"Oh my god, Harry there," screams from her mouth and it is the sweetest sound I have ever heard.  I continue my gentle rhythm, hitting the exact same spot as she digs her nails into my skin.  Her whole body tenses under mine and I know she's close.

"Open you eyes Lily and come with me."  She flicks them open as my forehead falls onto hers.  Her arm is bent, hand resting above her head and my hand finds hers, entwining our fingers together.  With one final push she comes undone, spiraling down from her high and moaning from her open mouth against my cheek.  I release at the same time to a feeling inside of me that is indescribable.

As we descend together, all I do know for sure is that I am truly blessed that my mind, body and soul are bound to this heaven in my hands in a way I never thought I could be connected to another person.