Before shutting the passenger door, Mum hands me my crutches then walks round to the driver's side and climbs in.  She revs the engine before pulling away and turns right out of the driveway.  She's driving me to Summer Haze and I notice the long way round at that because I have not yet been past the accident spot.  I know I am going to have to drive past it sooner or later but right now my preference is later. 

"Thanks for agreeing to me staying with Harry."  I glance over to her. 

She smiles in response, keeping her focus fixed firmly on the road ahead.  "Well, your Dad and I are both returning to work next week and we don't want you to be on your own at home. Plus, the change of scene will do you good." 

"It's very liberal of you both, especially Dad!"  I exclaim.  

"We were both young once thank you very much!" 

She carefully approaches a sharp right turn and breaks slowly, shifting gently down the gears.  The stretch of tarmac before us is still splotched with dark stains from overnight rain not yet evaporated by the heat of the day.  The road streaks bright white in places where light from the sun glistens over the cambered surface.  

"Even so, staying over at a boy's house!  Alone!"  I make a shock facial expression whilst exaggerating the words. 

With a rapid glance in my direction, she raises her eyebrows to question me then looks immediately back onto the road in front.  "I can always turn the car back around if you'd like?"   

I hold my hands up and chuckle.  "No, no I'm joking!"

"Anyway, Harry is hardly a boy and you are coming up 21 soon and we trust you."  She smiles a knowing Mum look.  "Just don't let us down and be safe."  She fidgets in her seat and her eyes go wide as she turns on her serious voice.  "You ARE being safe aren't you?  Dear Lord, tell me you are.  Do we need to stop at the pharmacy on the way?"

"Mum please!  Yes we are being safe and no, I won't let you down, promise."

Her face relaxes clearly reassured by my words.  "Although we didn't get off to the best of starts, in the short time we've known him, your Dad and I have become very fond of Harry.  He's a unique young man and he cares for you deeply. That is a rare and precious find."

Recently, I have come to realise that my parents really do like Harry but to actually hear Mum say so fills me with contentment inside.  Mum and I never spoke about Jason and so to talk so openly and honestly about Harry and me is such a step forward in my relationship with my parents.

"He is an incredible person and I like him, a lot.  I really do."

"Actually, talking of your 21st, have you mentioned your birthday dinner next Saturday to him yet?"

"Umm, no."  I reply sheepishly. 

"Why not?"  She voices surprised whilst slowing the car again for another turn in the road.  Every time I have been in the car with her since my accident, I have noticed her careful driving.  It is a distinct change for someone who usually speeds along.

"He hasn't seen his parents for ages and he's leaving for Cheshire on Thursday to spend the weekend with them.  In any case, I don't want to put any pressure on him to come to the restaurant after what happened at the hospital.  He's trying to keep a low profile round here remember."

"That's as may be but he'd want to know.  It's your special Birthday!"  She counters. 

"I know and I'll tell him after the weekend.  Perhaps we can do something the following week.  He's done so much for me already Mum, I can't ask anymore of him right now." My reply sounds casual but in truth, I am unsure if it is the right call or not.

"You know, this is just an observation but don't underestimate him, Lily."

"Do you think that's what I do?"  My voice pitches with concern.

"No, that's not what I said at all, far from it but I've seen the way he is with you.  He is extremely fond of you."

"Yes I know.  I just want our relationship to be equal and right now I feel like I am a burden."

"Lily, relationships aren't equal all of the time, they don't work like that.  At the moment, he is supporting you.  If he didn't want to do that he wouldn't have returned from LA early.". 

"What?  You know about that?"  Sheer surprise laces through my tone. 

"Oh come on, we don't live in the dark ages.  We see the news just like everybody else does."  She replies nonchalantly. 

"Why didn't either of you say something?"  I utter in disbelief. 

"Believe me, I had to muzzle your father at first!  It was a stressful time, particularly for you but most importantly, Harry came back to you so there was no need to bring it up.  As I said, don't underestimate that or him."

"I don't Mum, really I don't.  I want to enjoy spending time with him whilst he is here."

She side-eyes me.  "That has the faintest hint that you see this as something short-term.  Do you?"  The question in her voice displays as concern across her features.

I shrug my shoulders.  "I am just being realistic. You know as well as I do that nothing in life is ever permanent."

"I've said it before but I'll say it again," and we both mirror the words together, "don't underestimate him!"  It breaks the tension of the conversation and we both beam at each other.

"I hear you, thanks Mum."

"Anyways, he better not hurt you or he'll have your father to deal with!"  She declares truthfully. 

"Oh never fear, there's a queue."

"What?  Really?" 

"Yes, Olive said she'd cut.....never mind."  I reply with a quick shake of my head. 

Mum indicates left and I notice we have arrived.  She turns onto the track before entering through the large gates.  The tyres crunch over the gravel driveway and she swings the car around outside the front door of Summer Haze.   

"So, here we are."  She pulls on the handbrake and then rests her hand over mine to gives it a comforting squeeze.  The satisfying closeness between us continues to grow more and more each day since my accident.

She gets out of the car and grabs my bag just as the front door opens and Harry appears.  He takes it from her and she gives him a hug.  She clearly says something to him that from within the confines of the vehicle I cannot make out but I lip-read his response easily, "yes I will," followed by his reassuring smile.

Mum opens my door and I swing my legs out, steadying myself to stand with the aid of my crutches.  My ankle joints are moving freer and the swelling has subsided.  I am confident with a week more of dedicated exercises before my appointment, I will be without the metal poles this time next week. 

I turn to Mum and hug her tightly.  "Thanks Mum, for everything."

"Have a lovely week sweetheart.  Rest up and remember those meds and exercises.  Plus, no overdoing it, I mean it.  I'll pick you up Thursday morning."  She kisses my cheek then turns towards Harry and raises her hand in a goodbye that he reciprocates with a nod of his head.    

"Yeah, see you on Thursday.  Bye Mum."

As she gets in her car and drives away, Harry slings his arms around my shoulder and pulls me close to him.  Once Mum's car is out of sight, he glances down at me and smiles broadly.

"You are here." 

"Yes I am."  Is all I have time to say before he connects his lips to mine, muffling any further of my words with his kisses.

-*-

After we venture inside and Harry puts my bag in his room, we spend the rest of the day being uninterruptedly together.  We slip back with ease into the gentle rhythm of us, just like the weekend we spent with one another before my accident. 

Our day is filled with non-stop chatting and laughter, lunch, meds, exercises, an afternoon nap (because I still get really tired) that he simply uses as an excuse for more cuddling and to lie down with me.  Occasionally, I catch him staring adoringly at me.  His lips press together and he ceases whatever he is doing, comes to me immediately with a kiss or hug and then returns to his task.  It seems his tactility is his unspoken relief that we are back together.  

After dinner, we settle on the sofa to begin watching the second series of 'Peaky Blinders'.  Apart from my earlier nap when he insisted I sleep, this is the closest prolonged proximity we have had since I arrived.  He stretches his long, hairy legs out in front of him and crosses his bare feet upon the footstool.

He holds up his arm and beckons me with his hand to snuggle into his shirtless side.  His skin is smooth upon my cheek and his unmistakable body odour fills my nostrils.  I am not referring to the day's diminished perfume of stale cologne, body wash or sweat.  It is his natural musk that is exclusively his.  If you were to blindfold me in a room full of males, I could easily pick him out by this scent alone.  It is powerful upon my senses, like a drug that attracts me to him and it makes me feel both blissfully secure and sexily turned-on.  Well, let me rephrase that, it usually does but as I sit beside him tonight apprehension is bubbling inside of me. 

As we watch the series in silence, his arm surrounds my shoulders and his fingers trace continual circular patterns across the skin at the top of my arm. After three episodes and the room becoming steadily darker, Harry interrupts the end credits and flicks back to live TV where the news is just beginning.

"I think I might call it a night."  He puckers his lips on the top of my head and I glance up at him.

"Ok."  I mutter sleepily.

"You coming up?"  He asks tentatively. 

"Yes but I think I'll watch the news first."

He regards me and the smallest frown line knits together on the bridge of his nose.  "Ok, I'll go on up then, see you in a bit."  A chaste kiss meets my lips and he rises off the sofa and strolls towards the door.

My stare remains concentrated on the TV but I sense him pause at the door before I hear his footsteps going up the stairs.  My head flops back against the cushions and I blow out a sigh of relief just as my phone pings.

Olive:  Sorry I haven't messaged you before now. 

Me:     Its ok.

Olive:  So, have you talked to him like I suggested? 

Me:     I can't! 

Olive:  Why not?

Me:     Just, I don't know, embarrassed.  

Olive:  You are in a relationship with this gorgeous man, he will understand.

Me:     Will he, seriously you think he will?

Olive:  Yes.  He loves you.

Me:     Oh not that again, not right now, please.  

Olive:  Every relationship has ups and downs.  What I know of Harry, I think he'll be amazing.  Just like he has been amazing about everything else.  

Me:     That's the whole point.  I am a walking disaster zone.  How much more can I throw at him before he simply gets fed up. 

Olive:  He knows how much you've been through.  I really think you are worrying over nothing.

Me:     Of all the things, this has to be the worst.  Do you for one moment think he has had this with any of his gorgeously beautiful past model actress girlfriends?  Actually don't answer that I will.  The answer is no.

Olive:  Don't underestimate him, Lil.

Me:     Jeez, you are the second person to say that to me today.  Have you been talking to my Mum perchance?

Olive:  No!  But perhaps you should listen to our advice. 

Me:     It is just not something I thought I'd have to discuss with a boyfriend.  

Olive:  It happens to everyone.

Me:     So it's happened to you has it?

Olive:  Well no, actually never.

Me:     Hate to break it to you but you just blew your own theory out the water there Olive.

Olive:  Wait; is he there with you now?

Me:     No, gone to bed.

Olive:  So you've used an excuse to stay downstairs.

Me:     OMG, am I that predictable?

Olive:  No, but I know you well remember that.  You can't avoid him forever.

Me:     I know, I can't even get my own head round it.   

Olive:  You can buy stuff to help you know.  I could go and get you some tomorrow and casually be passing to drop it round.

Me:     Oh you have got to be kidding me.  No, no, no!

Olive:  Ok, got the message.  I'm just trying to help.

Me:     I'm sorry; I am so stressed about it.

Olive:  Yes understandably and that's not good for your recovery.  You need to talk to him. 

Me:     How?  Do I just come out with it?

Olive:  Well yes, just take a deep breath and tell him straight.  Letting things fester is never good.  If he's supportive which I suspect he will be he's a keeper, if he isn't supportive boot him to the curb.   

Me:     I can always count on you.  I'll think about it.  Anyway, how are you feeling?

Olive:  Don't change the subject!  I am fine thanks, feeling nauseas but then that's normal evidently. 

Me:     You must let me have that list of doctor visiting dates.  

Olive:  Will do.  Looking forward to your b-day celebs on Sat.

Me:     Me too.  I suppose I'd better go to bed soon.  

Olive:  Ok but talk to him first thing; promise me. Message me.  Yes?

Me:     Will do.  Thank you so much.  Love you x

Olive:  Love you too, now go to bed! x

I hobble into the kitchen, making sure to remain as quiet as possible to avoid waking Harry, whom I assume is asleep.  I fill a glass of water and take my meds then hobble back into the living room.  I gather all the comfy cushions and a soft chenille blanket to make a camp on the sofa and settle down on my makeshift bed for my night's sleep.