Chapter dedicated to @TKSeven because it is your writing of powerful, protective and loving speeches that inspired this chapter x

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Enjoy the YouTube link above! Song is also perfect for this chapter.

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Harry's POV

As I reach the house all my earlier inadequacy has dwindled away and a renewed determination prevails within me once again.

Despite my vast experience of meeting different people and handling a variety of situations, I often have wobbles of doubt about myself. Usually they occur on tour, somewhere in the limbo between final sound check and show time. That pocket of time where I am restlessly chomping at the bit to get out there and perform but frustratingly having to rein myself in, knowing it is not quite time to be firing on all cylinders yet. These two extremes pique anxious tendencies in me.

Even when I am in the depths of a stadium and far away from the stage, I instantaneously know when the doors open and the venue is streaming with fans because I can literally smell the electric charge that fills the air. Behind the scenes is no different.  A hive of boisterous energy ramps up with everyone scurrying around and completing their last minute checks before the band go 'live'.

I often wander around backstage soaking up the atmosphere and to appreciate all of the hard work put in by the tour team for me and the other three lads.  To show my indebtedness I often get my hands dirty, so to speak, by running cable, pushing buttons as instructed on the technical desk or stirring soup and chopping salad in Sarah's Kitchen Catering.  The enormity of it all smacks me right in the gut every time and this is when the wobble occurs. 

The wobble has almost become a necessary part of my pre-show ritual.  It serves as a reminder to me to keep my feet firmly planted on the ground, my head out of the clouds and my heart thankful and humble.  The one time last year in San Diego when I didn't wobble the show didn't run so smooth and I fell arse over tit in front of 60,000 fans! 

During the first tour it could take me quite a while to placate myself but over time maturity has slowly eased self-doubt and now as little as five minutes out helps me to refocus.  When the lights come up and I see the splendor of a packed stadium laid out in front of me, all doubt immediately disappears, the adrenaline kicks in and I turn it on, every time.

I step apprehensively through the doors and into the conservatory but I stop in my tracks. I notice Robert and Angela are the only ones in the kitchen.  They are holding each other in an embrace before she pulls away, resting both her hands on his upper arms and looking up at him.

"Robert, please try and go easier on Harry, this is not his fault." Her voice is soothing and her fingers clasp tighter against this arms as though to reiterate her meaning.

He lets out a resounding sigh and closes his eyes before opening them again straight into hers. His voice is low as his thumb brushes gently against her cheek. "I know that, I don't mean to, I just feel hurt that she didn't trust us enough to tell us about him."

"That's not the case and you know it. I told you I had mentioned to her about there being someone special. She would have told us in her own time. Remember what Harry said about the way she speaks so fondly about us. You have to let this hurt go, it isn't helping." Angela is almost lovingly pleading with him.

Not wishing to pry any longer than is necessary, I clear my throat and both of them slowly pull apart and glance over towards me.

"Oh Harry there you are, I was just coming to find you, are you okay?" Angela questions sympathetically.

"Yes thank you, I am sorry about disappearing, I just needed a minute."

"Of course, I understand.  Would you like some more coffee?"  

"Actually I have something I need to say to everyone if the others are available to come back in." My voice sounds self-assured and I know my demeanour is giving off an air of confidence.  Both need to with what I am about to discuss. 

"Yes, I'll get them." Angela smiles then walks over to the door and shouts into the hallway. They all come filing in and everyone takes either a seat in the conservatory, on a bar stool around the kitchen island or a chair at the dining table.

I remain standing and take a moment to glance around at the six people eyeballing me.  All of them look uncertain as their gazes constantly shift from me towards the newspaper resting idly on the work surface and back again. That thing is my domain and I am about to take control. A voice interrupts my thoughts.

"We're all ears Harry, the floor is yours." Robert nods and perches on a stool.

I pull in a deep breath and begin. "Firstly, I don't expect you to trust me, why would you?  You don't know me and I've not earned it yet but we have one very precious thing in common and that is Lily.  Please believe me when I say I care very deeply for her."

Robert opens his mouth to speak but I cut him off by carrying on.

"Secondly, you don't have to like me but in light of that," I point towards the newspaper, "I need you to listen very carefully to what I have to say." I pause to ensure everyone is with me.  Each of their stares are fixated on me and I indeed know the floor is now all mine.  "The press is a beast that can be tamed if you give them what they think they want so I am going to come out of hiding."

"Whhaaatt!" Robert exclaims whilst everyone else looks around at each other with different degrees of shock written across their faces. "Not here you're not because-" but I railroad straight over him again.

"I haven't finished." I reply forcefully glaring right at him.  "I intend to come out of hiding in LA."

He can't help himself so I let Robert interject this time.  "I don't understand how that helps." He questions shaking his head.

"The press must not find out about Lily and I yet.  She isn't able to be part of a decision to go public and she must be. So, I am going to remove myself from the equation and pull the media away from here to protect her and in turn you because she needs you, all of you, to only be focused on her and her recovery.

"It's none of their business anyway." Angela states boldly.

"You're right it isn't but if they find out they will make it their business because that's the way they operate." I reply truthfully.

"You could just deny knowing her." Robert's comment indicates he really has no idea about the twisted nature of certain aspects of the media. 

"Robert, the press make up lies, I do not and will never lie to or about Lily as long as we are together."

He huffs.  "So how are you magically going to transport yourself to LA?" He is clearly a man who likes to be in control and thinks logistically.  The aura of being out of his depth on this one is radiating off him.

"I'm not, I will simply return to London and fly out from there. This is a no win deal for me. I don't want to leave Lily. I would rather stay right here and continue as I have been but I know I can't, not right now.  It is not in her best interests or yours. 

"I don't do deals as far as my daughter is concerned Harry." 

He is not listening.  He is only hearing what he wants to hear and that is beginning to vex me.  However, I am not about to play a game of one-upmanship with him, far from it.  It will not be helpful and I am better than that. 

I fist my fingers into my palm and pull in a deep breath before replying to him.  "Believe me Robert neither do I but this." I poke my index finger hard on the news story and open my eyes wide at him, "this has the potential to become a big deal, a very big out of control deal if handled incorrectly."

"That's all very well....." I cut him off again because I have to get his buy-in to this.

"If Lily was here she could make up her own mind about what she wants to do but she is not. Now of course as her parents I respect that you take over the responsibility to make the important decisions on her behalf apart from one, the media.  You can go it alone but it is a battle I can absolutely guarantee you will lose or you can decide to do it my way."  The words sound harsh coming out of my mouth and whilst I don't want to treat these people like idiots at the same time I need to make them understand the importance of this. Nevertheless, I soften my approach further as they are all looking increasingly concerned.

"Listen to me.  You don't need to be worrying about the media. Leave them to me. I would normally get my team to handle this because they, like me, have a wealth of experience dealing with the press but not this time. On this occasion it is very different because the stakes are much higher than they have ever been because I care deeply about Lily and I will do whatever it takes to protect her."

"It's just a silly story in the rag, it'll go away." Nathalie sighs clearly perturbed. 

"I couldn't agree with you more, it is a silly story but in an attempt to secure the scoop they crave, the press will leave no stone unturned in their quest. They will implement the most underhand and often despicable tactics to get an advantage for the most meaningless scraps of information. My mum's dustbins are constantly rummaged through, my sister's social media account has been hacked numerous times and my dad's business interests scrutinized with a fine tooth comb to find anything to exploit me and anyone associated with me."

"That's awful." Olivia face screws up at the truth.

"On that point you all need to heed my warning here. Everyone, no matter how much you believe you can trust them, has a price. A throw away comment on the football field or in the college canteen and the whole lot could come crashing down. Perhaps not straight away but in time it will. I know."

"It is part of the game though isn't it, the paps scratch your back then you scratch theirs." Nathalie's boyfriend, who I now remember is called Billy, looks smugly towards me.

"When I entered into this 'game' as you call it of entertainment I fully expected to repeatedly be amusement fodder for the press.  I have and regularly continue to be and I accept that, within reason." I tick my head towards the paper. "But that is where it ends, at me. From the very beginning, I vowed as long as I have the power that it never extends to those that are the most important in my life; my family and my closest friends.  Up until now it never has because I will absolutely not stand for it.  This vow now includes Lily.  She is the most important thing in my life and you are her family, the most important thing to her, and so that encompasses all of you as well. I have endured five years of hounding, disrespectful and damn right intrusive behaviour. I accept that it comes with the territory of who I am, Harry Styles the musician, but I do not accept it outside of the confines of that."

I flick my eyes towards Robert because for the first time he is sat still in his seat.  I can literally sense him finally absorbing everything I have said.  His clenched jaw has relaxed, softening his features and the frown lines on his forehead have all but disappeared.

"Why can't you just continue to live at Summer Haze and stay away from the hospital?" Thomas pipes up.

I look at him fondly, he's just a kid but kids always ask the honest questions. "I can't be that close to your sister and stay away from her. The distance thing is also to stop me from ruining my own plan to protect her." I wink at him and he smiles.

"We are still here though, how do you know the press are going to go away?"  Angela looks concerned. 

"Truthfully I don't.  But experience has taught me that if you don't give them anything to pursue they don't have a story and they tend to back off.  Also if I am quickly seen elsewhere it will pull them off the scent.  Up until now even my team didn't know my whereabouts but in light of the article I telephoned them when I was outside.  A media outlet has already made contact for comment.  If they had any inkling about Lily it would have been brought up in the conversation.  It wasn't.  I could have been at St Mary's for any number of reasons, there is nothing to link me to Lily apart from you here and the two nurses in ICU who know me."

"I can vouch for both nurses. They are the ultimate professionals and they will be discreet.  In any case it is more than their jobs are worth working in ICU where confidentiality is the key."  The sharply jagged inflection in Robert's voice when he usually addresses me has abated.  His tone is now one of concern for his daughter not annoyance at her boyfriend. 

"Well that is reassuring to know.  I appreciate this is a lot for you to comprehend but please just trust me on this."

"You sacrifice nothing by running away." Nathalie is just as hardnosed as Lily described her.  However, unlike my desire to gain Robert's respect, I have no inclination to do the same with her right now.  The best way to handle ignorance is to be forthright with it.  

"I am not running away I am doing this to protect your sister. May be in your mind I sacrifice nothing but in mine I sacrifice everything because if Lily wakes up and thinks I have deserted her she may never forgive me."

Olivia scowls at Nathalie before turning her attention back to me.  "Lily won't think that I can assure you Harry.  I will tell her everything you have done so there is no doubt in her mind."

I smile thankfully towards her.  She is clearly all too aware of Nathalie's short, sharp, abruptness.  "Thank you Olivia, it has taken me a long time to find Lily and the thought of losing her is hard to contemplate."  Once that declaration has passed my lips it shocks me a little.  For the very first time in my life I am not abashed at expressing my true feelings for someone.  Another 'this is what love feels like' lightbulb moment goes off in my head.  I love her like I have never loved anyone before.     

"It's my pleasure, she's my best and most loyal friend.  Big fan by the way, sorry just had to say that."  She raises both her eyebrows in jest and giggles a little before scanning her eyes to look at everyone else around the kitchen. "What?!" she laughs at them all looking at her.

It instantly lightens the mood as everyone, apart from Nathalie, smiles or laughs.  I even see the smallest smirk grace Robert's lips before he hides it by pulling his top lip between his thumb and forefinger. 

"Thank you Olivia. Yes she is loyal, very loyal." Her image pops in my head and I find myself also smiling harder into the no-where of the stone floor.  When I look up everyone is staring right at me but the worried looks have been replaced with jovial dispositions. I stand up tall with my legs pushed tightly together and nod my head towards Angela. "Right, well thank you for the kind lunch invitation but I think it is best that I go and get the ball rolling for my trip. Please let me know any news when you do and I'll be in touch with my plans once I've made them. I envisage my leaving will be pretty imminent as time is of the essence here. It was lovely to meet you all, I hope to see you again soon. I can see myself out."

I smile at everyone who is still staring and me and turn and head out the kitchen.  Right now I don't really care what they think about me.  My short lesson on managing the press I have just given them was necessary and I got agreement from them all so that is all that matters.  Outwardly I managed to hold it together, although my palms are clammy and beads of sweat are running down the channel of my back wetting my shirt uncomfortably in the process. 

As I reach the front door I hear a voice behind me. "Harry wait." I turn to see Robert tentatively standing there. "You don't have to go yet, please come back and join us for lunch at least."

As I walk back towards the kitchen for the first time I witness in his eyes not only a look of sheer relief but finally a hint of acceptance.