This chapter is dedicated to my great friend ciaoniccie I searched long and hard for the right words to say from Shakespeare to Keats to Dickins to Wordsworth, from Tennyson to Byron to The Bronte Sisters to Blake and beyond. But then I came back to our very own muse, the man himself. So in his style, "All The Love" x

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Harry's POV

I am startled awake by daylight flooding into the bedroom. Scissor kicking my legs energetically beneath the bed covers, my feet tangle in the sheets trying to push them off my body.  I glance over at the clock, 7.00am.  Damn, I fell asleep. 

Resting on my side and raised up on my elbow, I grab my phone off the bedside table. I squint at the brightness of the screen piercing into my eyes and notice that the mobile service has now resumed; albeit with a weak signal that I have come to accept is the best I am going to get in this area. The service went down last night whilst I waited for Lily to call or text me when she got home. I assumed it was probably due to the stormy weather. At some point, I must have fallen asleep but it looks as though it was down for the majority of the night as there is still no word from her. Oh well, she will be here around 10am today anyway and I cannot wait to see her.

I flop my head back into the pillows and I close my eyes to relax and think back over the weekend that just was. It was frankly unbelievable and fills my memory happily.  That is the only way to describe it.  I was so looking forward to seeing Lily after her busy exam week and me having mum to stay.  My heart was jumping at the anticipation of her before she even arrived here on Friday.

When I did open the door to her, my God, my heart began racing instantly I set eyes on her. As she just stood there on the doorstep delectably wetting my appetite for her, I was stunned into silence.  Finally, we had some alone time and I intended to show her how much I desired her.  It had to be all about her.  Mapping her body with my mouth, tasting her skin with my tongue, grazing my teeth down her neck, over her breasts and in-between her thighs, exploring and tracing every morsel of her with my fingers was something else.

Then to spend the whole weekend with each other and to make love to her over and over again was unreal.  She turns me on all the time just by looking at me with those dazzling deep brown eyes of hers. Amazing sex aside, it was also the opportunity to share more of myself with her and her with me. The Yoga for instance was great, although initially I did take it a bit too seriously.  She made light of it though. She laughs and it makes me want to laugh with her.

When she thought I was playing my guitar really I was studying her pottering around the garden getting totally lost in her horticultural zone and working her magic with her green-fingers. Secretly I wished those fingers were exploring me but that's me being exceptionally greedy as far as she is concerned.

When she asked me to sing to her I nearly refused.  Give me a stadium full of sixty thousand people and I can turn the 'entertainment' me on.  Sit in front of the woman I adore and sing one-on-one, I stumble. Of course I did it though, for her, I'd do anything for her. We just fit so perfectly. She makes me feel things that, right now I don't understand.

Going to the gig together last night was fantastic and to actually finally go out together as a couple was important.  She played down the band a bit, so much so I thought they were going to be shite but in all fairness they were really good.  As soon as I saw them it reminded me of my White Eskimo days. Great memories.  I wonder if 24/7 only do covers or have any of their own material.  I must ask Lily when she gets here. 

I look at the clock and realise I've been relishing in my sex fuelled weekend memories for well over half an hour.  I want to get a run in if I can before she gets here but first I need to make a call. 

"Mr Styles, how are you Sir?"  The voice greets me from the other end of the line, upbeat as always. 

"Julian Bulian, I am very well thank you and you?"

"Yeah, all's good, it's great to hear you.  Still hiding out?"

"I am indeed and enjoying every last minute.  I'm so relaxed I'm practically horizontal!" 

Julian laughs at me.  "Well, I'm glad to hear it."

"What are you up to at the moment?"

"Luckily, enjoying a long stint in LA doing some recording and producing with a couple of new artists."

"Ah I've missed the place, give the City of Angels my regards."

He chuckles. "Oh, so you're obviously not anywhere near here then?"

"No, but I hope to be back real soon. Well actually it could be really soon dependent upon this conversation with you." I answer uncertainly.

"I wondered why you were calling.  Come on then sock it to me." He answers interested.

"Well, I have been writing a fair bit in the last few months and I have something in mind that I want to run past you.  Something I might need your help with."

"Sounds intriguing, tell me more."

And I proceed to tell him about my idea and as he listens intently he gives me many positive and encouraging verbal nods.  I can practically sense his brain mulling over my project in his head. That long hair of his makes scrunching noises against the phone speaker as he holds the phone to his ear, clearly nodding his head in agreement as I set out my thoughts.

"So, in a nutshell that is it." I finish telling him.

"Woah, well that's brilliant.  What do all the others think, have you spoken to them at all?"

"Yeah, I have and they all seemed happy about it. I mean it's a project, this isn't me going it alone."

"Yeah ok I get it but you'll have to tread carefully with those wild and crazy fans of yours."  He and I both chuckle together at his truthful sentiment. 

"I know, I've thought hard about that but spoken to the relevant people and they all agree that the nature of the project is positive and hopefully won't cause too many issues."

"Well naturally I'd jump at the chance to get involved, you know that Haz.  I can speak with John and Jamie too if you'd like?  Do you know the rough timescales you have in mind?"

"Great re. John and Jamie, yes thanks.  I can send you at least six tracks I've been working on today.  You know I value all of your opinions, let me know what you think. Timescale wise, I'm here until September but if I can get this project off the ground I want it to be all systems go. It's got to be a quick impact thing, not a drawn out affair.  You know not the ususal loads of promo and a tour just a drop out the blue and go.  Plus I need to write some more so say mid-August earliest."

"Right, well that works out great for me because I'll be finished end June with the current project, then would like to take a few weeks off in July, so to start anytime during August would be great.   Work on X-Factor UK starts again September but I can run both side by side.  Exciting times."

"Thanks Julian, well I'll send you those tracks today and we can take it from there.  I'll let you go and get your beauty sleep.  Great to speak with you."

"Ha, yeah you too, bye for now."

I stretch my body out right across the bed. So pleased that went well and Julian seemed perceptive to the idea and really stoked.  If he can get John and Jamie on board as well all the better.  He is a pure mastermind that guy, so much respect for him and so enjoy working alongside the three of them. Right, I will strike whilst the iron is hot and get the raw songs sent across now for when he wakes tomorrow.

After sorting out the tracks that take much longer than expected as my internet keeps dropping in and out, I finally get them sent and get up and throw on my running gear.  Stepping outside the weather that greets me is surprisingly mild with blue sky and fast moving white cotton clouds.  It really is the calm after the angry storm of last night.  There are some pretty big trees surrounding Summer Haze and the way the wind was blowing I was afraid some might come down but taking a quick look around all seems in order.  Anyway, I am sure Lily will peruse the gardens later and check. 

I settle easily into my running stride along the gravel driveway. Due to the heavy rain not having completely drained away, the little stones crunch squelchy and sodden under the force of my pounding trainers. As I power along, I can clearly see the damage that has been caused laying everywhere around.  Broken twigs and leaves litter the ground, ripped from trees by the wind and hammering rain.  In places, smaller weak branches dangle fragile overhead, half broken off from the main bough.

I reach the main road and I am surprised to see it completely empty of any vehicles travelling along it. It is a winding country road but is the main route into town and at this time of the morning, with people travelling to work, I would expect there to be at least some cars around.  However, it is eerily quiet. Judging by the state of the driveway, I decide to give the wooded nature route a miss. I think I will spend all my time dodging fallen foliage and jumping over puddles.  It will probably be safer to run the road route instead today as the traffic is minimal.

With 'Let the Music Play' by Good Charlotte pumping through my headphones at the start of my running playlist, I set off and quickly settle into my stride again with ease.  Not one vehicle passes by me and after running for approximately half a mile I see why.  There is an obstruction across the road ahead. As I approach, I can see the police tape stretching from one side of the road to the other but there are no police or emergency services in situ.  Only a big tow truck, some vans and a whole load of workmen in high-vis jackets are milling about.

A big red 'Road Closed' sign halts my running and a small rotund man around his mid-thirties approaches me.  He looks like the foreman as he has a clipboard in hand and is giving instructions to the other men. He wanders casually over to speak to me as I take my buds out my ears.

"Hi there, sorry but you can't get through this way at the moment."

"Morning, looks like the storm did a fair amount of damage along this road last night."

"Yes sure did, there is debris strewn right the way along here, so much so we've  decided to shut the road.  We've got a long day ahead to clear it but it should be open in a few hours."

"Ah no problem, I'll run an alternative route."

"Bill, we're just about ready to lift this up mate." A voice shouts from behind the cordon. The tow truck is reversing to the side of the road near the ditch. Its annoying beeping sound warns anyone in the vicinity not to step in its path.  As the truck steadies itself, a huge arm swings out and claws descend down to pick up whatever is at the roadside.  I can't see what it is as the vans are blocking my view but it must be a big bough to warrant such a heavy claw and large truck.

"Well I'd better get on."  The man Bill smiles and turns to walk towards the truck. As my eyes follow him I catch sight at what is now being lifted slowly up.  I cup my fingers over my eyes and squint hard because a half flaring sun is emerging out from behind a cloud and obscuring my view of not the bough I am expecting but a car.

"Excuse me."  I shout after the man Bill and he looks back around.   "What car is that?"

"Red Ford estate."  He answers decisively. 

I crane my neck forward to get a better view feeling a sharp frown pull taut across my forehead. Without thinking, I lift the tape and duck under it then begin to stride with purpose towards the truck. At my actions Bill puts his body in my way and holds up his hands to try to halt my progression. "No, you can't come back here." His voice commands.

"Sorry but that looks like my girlfriend's car. I didn't realise she'd broken down here last night, I haven't heard from her this morning." My thoughts reel with questions. She must have had a mobile service and called someone to pick her up but hang on, both her parents were at work. Perhaps she called her best friend but why didn't she call me or even still walk back to Summer Haze with Percy, it is so close.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry."  Bill's words bring me back to the here and now. His sympathetic tone at a simple car breakdown alarms me and I frown at him.

"It's just a breakdown right? You're just recovering the car?" I am nodding at him for reassurance but he hesitates to confirm my understanding.

"Listen, I don't know, I mean we were called out this morning to come pick it up after the accident investigators had done their work." Bill shrugs his shoulders.

"Accident investigators? What, so it's not a breakdown?" My words come out panicked.

"Umm, no I am really sorry, this car crashed here last night. Now it really isn't safe for you to be here and I must insist you go back behind the tape." He clearly doesn't know what to say to me.

I stand rooted to the spot as adrenaline pumps through my veins but I am unable to feel my body. The rusty claws are now swaying from side to side, the car is suspended high in the air, before it lowers with a bumping jolt onto the back of the truck. I now have a full view of the front of the vehicle.  A chill spikes at the tips of my fingers, coursing rapidly up my arms and engulfing my whole body that begins to shudder. My head shakes uncontrollably from side to side at the realisation the car is Lily's.

"No, no, you don't understand, that is her car." I point towards it as my chest constricts intensifying the rapidness of my breaths. My heart begins to bang turbulently against my chest wall and hammers so hard it sounds like thunder is pulsing through my ears and rebounding around my head. All the air in my body suddenly seeps out of me like I am a deflating balloon.

My disbelieving stare remains fixated on the truck, flinching at the vision in front of me.  "Wh-, wh-, what happened?  Jesus Christ, look at the state of it." The front is mangled inwards, the bonnet bent and the whole driver's side a pushed in mess of scratched metal. Three workmen appear carrying the missing roof of the car and fix it securely onto the back of the truck. I feel sick but there is nothing in my stomach to come up. I simply gag as my whole body simulates retching at the scene in front of me.

"Bill we really need you to come and assist with something over here now."  The same voice from before sounds impatient for the foreman to go over as a few workman stand around looking into the car free area that I now know is the ditch. 

"I am really sorry, really I am."  Is all Bill can say. 

"Do you know where they have taken her?"  I close my eyes and inhale a huge uncertain breath. 

"Well, I assume St Mary's General Hospital in town as that is the closest.  Look, you've had a shock do you want to sit down for a bit?"  The man rests his hand on my shoulder. 

"No, I need to go, to go now, back now." I can't think straight let alone speak any comprehensible words.  Despite all feeling having drifted from my body, I turn and begin to run. I tear straight through the tape that wraps around my waist as though I have won a race. The two strands continue to fly out either side of me as my arms pump fiercely and my legs power me along.  I sprint so fast and my mind is contorted with such harrowing thoughts that my breath is held the whole way back. I would know if she wasn't okay wouldn't I? I would feel it and I don't, she is fine, she has to be. Soon I am halfway down the driveway and scrabbling around in my pocket for the house keys.

"Fuck, shit, shit!" My hands are so violently shaking that I struggle getting the key in the door ramming it numerous times but missing the lock before it finally goes in.  I rip my phone out my pocket.  "Fuck service out again, no internet, fucking shite network."  Deep breaths are puffing ferociously out my mouth and my chest feels unbearably tight from my running.

There must be a  telephone directory somewhere.  Think Harry think, where do people keep them.  I start to pull open drawers in the dresser in the hallway then in the kitchen.  The contents spill out all over the floor in my desperation to find the book.  When it is finally in my hand, I slam it down on the kitchen worktop and begin to quickly rifle through the pages that crease under my heavy-handedness.  It takes me an age to engage my vacant brain to focus on where I need to look and my frustration speeds up my actions causing the wafer thin paper to rip as I frantically try to get to 'H' in the list. Hospitals, hospitals, hospitals, there, St Mary's Hospital, got it, I lift the landline receiver and puff out a sigh of sheer relief that the phone is working.

"Hello, St Mary's Hospital, good morning how can I help you?"  The voice is cheery enough but I haven't got time for niceties. 

"Yes, yes, umm."  I don't know what I am supposed to say or what to ask, my judgement is a hazy mess.

"Sir, are you ok?"

"Umm yes, umm my girlfriend was in an accident last night, I think she may have been brought to the hospital." They probably won't tell me anything but I have to try. 

"Ok, well I can check on the computer records if you can please let me have her name."

"It's, it's Lily, her name is Lily, Lily Jefferson."

"I am sorry but no name match is listed at St Mary's."

"Oh thank god."  I let out a huge sigh of relief before the operator speaks again. 

"Wait a moment though, is Lily a shortened version of her name?"

My calmer heart beat revs up again and my breathing increases, "Yes it stands for Liliana."

"Ah okay, I can transfer you to the relevant department, would you like me to put you through?"

"Yes." Is all that puffs out of my dry mouth.

The line goes quiet for what seems like an age then rings waiting to be picked up. 

"ICU at St Mary's, good morning."

I literally feel the weight of my split second elation that she wasn't in hospital come crashing down so hard on my shoulders that I winch out in pain. "I.C.U.?"

"Yes, can I help you?"

"Hello, I was hoping to get an update about Liliana Jefferson." My grip on the phone is so tight my hands is shaking.

"Oh of course let me check for you."

I don't know what's worse, Greensleeves hold music or a rambling voice going on and on about the hospital's facilities on a loop.  It grates on my nerves as I tell the automatic pre-recorded voice to "shut the fuck up". Finally, an actual live human voice returns on the line.

"Hello, thank you for holding. I'm sorry but we are not permitted to give out any personal patient information over the telephone."

Her answer confirms that Lily is obviously there. "Look please, please I just need to know how she is."  I plead with the lady on the end of the line. My voice is breaking down and I feel so cold my whole body giving in to the reality of what has happened.

"I am sorry her mother and father are our main points of contact and we can only advise you to make contact with them directly."

"Is Lily allowed to have visitors?" 

"It's only close family at this moment in time.  Are you a family member, I can check to see if your name is on the list of permitted visitors."

"No, that's ok. What are the visiting hours please?"

"In ICU it is anytime from 9am to 9pm within reason.  The only restriction is between 1.00 and 3.00pm when the medical teams attend to patients.  If you contact her family they will be able to tell you when she is able to receive visitors other than close family."

"Okay." 

I hang up the phone without waiting for a response.  I sink to the floor and my back bumps down over the grooves of the cupboard, the knob digs into my shoulder blades. My legs ache from running and are splashed with muddy spots from the after storm terrain outside.

Everything hurts, my clothing feels heavily restrictive on my body, my trainers are suffocatingly tight around my feet and my head throbs at the spot my hair tie holds my bun in place. In frustration, I pull the tie out to try and relieve the pain but snap the band in the process and rip a chunk of my hair out along with it. Without undoing the laces, I hastily kick off the trainers and pull off my sodden socks, launching them across the kitchen.

I have to see her. I have to know how she is. I will drive round to see her parents at home. I jump up with renewed vigour and head upstairs to change but as I get half way up the stairs I stop and rest my forehead on my arm against the banister.  Fuck, I can't do that. Her parents must be going out of their minds with worry and then I am just going to show up and waltz in demanding to see her. What am I thinking? Not straight that's for sure. Get your head back on Harry, clear thinking. 

Never before in my life have I felt such an overwhelming need to have another person here in my arms. But Lily's not here, she is unable to be. Right now, I just don't care if anyone finds out that I am here because by whatever means necessary I am going to go to that hospital and I am going to see her.