Harry's POV

The double shot of whiskey slid down far too well and mixed with my tiredness, my mind is spinning.  After my strained conversation with Jeff, I will never sleep.  Should I call him back and tell him all about Lily? No, that is a really bad idea. Let him get over Kenny first. How ridiculous does that sound? Anyone would think he had been seeing her. Also, note to self, stop calling her Kenny. Nicknames are endearing but only when you are dating.  Kendall it is from now on.

I need to talk to someone else. Who?  Well, the ideal person is of course Lily but she needs her sleep. I grab my phone and hit a familiar number.  It continuously rings. 

"Come on pick up." I sigh impatiently.

"Harry, me old mate, how are ya?" He answers as though he has not a care in the world.

"Hi, sorry to disturb you so late, is it a bad time?"

"Ah, of course it's not.  I'm sat on me sofa, beer in hand, catching up with Wimbledon tennis highlights on TV and waiting for my pizza delivery. What's up?"

"Where to start, I just needed to chat?"

"You sound awful!" He exclaims.

"I called you to feel better, not worse! I just had crossed words with Jeff."

"Oh. Yeah, I saw your live outside broadcast at the airport.  Hmmm, unlike you my friend but you must have had your reasons.  Can I assume it's to do with Lily the Gardener?"

"Yes, it is."

"So, are you two together then?"

"Very much so, although privately.  Apart from our close families and Louis, who I saw when I was in LA, you are the first person I've admitted that too, although I think after our last conversation Liam has an inkling."

"Well good for you, I'm really pleased.  It's about time you found someone who makes you happy.  You know that's all I've ever wanted, all any of us have ever wanted for you, right?"

"I know, thanks Niall. Keep it to yourself though please, even Jeff doesn't know yet."

"Of course! Why did you go to the States anyway, I thought you were in hibernation until at least the end of August?"

"LA is a long story but in a nutshell, Lily had a car accident then I was spotted at the hospital so decided to get away to detract from any possibility of the press finding out about us.  The attention was the last thing she or her family needed."

"Shit, car accident, is she ok?"

"No, she was in a bad way but she is recovering.  It may take a while but she came home today."

"By the sounds of things you did what you had to but you're back now so that's good."  His justification of the situation matches my thoughts exactly and it makes me feel better. 

"Believe me, the decision to leave her was tough.  She makes me feel things I don't understand."  There is a brief silence on the other end then he chuckles lowly but I catch it.  "Care to share what's funny?"

He openly laughs.  "You are."

"And why would that be?"

"Oh hang on, hold that thought."

There is much movement and rustling at the other end, some cursing, then, "Good evening, yes Pizza for Nigel, thanks, here you go and keep the change."

"Right, I'm back.  Where were we?  Yes, let me repeat what you just said to me, she makes you feel things you don't understand.  Lily that is."

"Yes, what about it?"

"Come on mate, you are supposed to be the brooding, intelligent, deep-meaningful one."

"You've lost me."  He has me flummoxed but then that's usual with Nialler as far as everyone is concerned!

"Think about it."  His dulcet Irish brogue has changed to a pizza stuffed gabble.  "What's another word for when someone makes you feel things you don't understand."

"Confusion?"

His hearty food filled laugh begins to rattle my sleepy cage a bit.  "Will you stop fucking laughing, especially with your mouth full of Mighty Meaty."  I retort with chortling annoyance.

He laughs harder at me causing some of his pizza to go down the wrong way. He is in the midst of a coughing fit and I can hear him striking his chest with his fist.  "Come on, you called me remember.  No not confusion, try again."

"God, you're making me work for this aren't you?" I reply tiredly irritated.

"Ha ha! Yes I am my friend and that is because this is an eureka light bulb moment in your life and I can't believe I am experiencing it with you." All I can hear is chewing; he has to be the loudest eater ever.  "I cannot believe you are struggling so much with this." He mumbles through his mouthfuls.

I pause.  "The real truth is, I'm not struggling with it at all.  I know exactly what you are implying. I've known for a while but I just can't admit the words out loud."

"Oh for goodness sake, you're in love with her, just say it!"

Another pause.  "Yes, I am, very much but I still cannot say it."

"Why not?  It's as clear as day to me.  You are confused because you haven't felt love before, have you?"

"No, not this kind I haven't."

"Well then, believe me, you are in it whether you care to admit it or not."

"Niall, I can't be."

"Why?"

"Because it's-"  I stumble over my words. 

"It may not have been love at first sight or a load of romantic roses around the door like those soppy films you watch.  It is real life is what it is.  It's meeting someone and realising you have lots in common.  Your feelings change from friends to something more.  You look forward to seeing that person and miss them when they're not there. You think about them constantly and when someone asks you something or you find out something new, you ask yourself what they would think, feel or question about it.  They become your whole reason to get out of bed in the morning; they become your last thought at night.  Now tell me, am I right?"

"You are right and for the record, it was love at first sight!"

"You are smitten! The question is have you told her?"

"Well, I have.  Actually no, I haven't not really." 

"It cannot be both, which is it?"

"No, I haven't told her, not face to face out loud. The thought scares me a little bit."

"There's no rush.  You'll know when the time is right."

"I hope so but having to go away Niall, I missed her so much.  I have absolutely no idea what's happening here I have never felt like this before.  My mind is all over the place."

"Listen, stop overthinking it.  Just carry on as you have been."

"I have absolutely no doubts over us but I do feel confused, exhilarated, scared, happy, worried, apprehensive, ecstatic and lots of other words I cannot think of right this minute.  It is weird.  A wonderful weird."

"That's love for ya, Harry."

"Hmmm."

"You should be happy, why aren't you."

"Because I think that perhaps she doesn't feel it as strongly as I do."

"There is a huge difference between think and know. What gives you that impression?"

"By the way she is.  There's things she has said in the past about love and how she feels about it."

"Trying to figure out what or how she feels right at this moment is a dangerous road to go down.  From what you've said, she's got a lot going on right now.  I'd concentrate on being there for her and helping her get through this period in her life. The rest will fall into place."

"What if she doesn't feel the same way though?"

"You know full well from your past about that.  If that's the case, there's nothing you can do about it.  What's meant to be, will be."

"I love her though."

"Yes I know because you finally said it out loud!"

"I did, didn't I?"

"Yes you did.  See you did it without even realising it."

"Thanks for listening, Nigel!"

"No problem, any time, you know that, Harold!"

"Touche! It's been too long since we caught up.  Everything now sorted with those online trolls?  I was sorry to hear about that."

"Yeah, thanks.  Once I exposed them they did the usual and ran for the hills.  Cowards."

"As long as your family is ok, that's what matters."

"I know you're right.  The bullies can come at me with everything they have because I don't care but to target my family.  It defies belief."

"Nothing online shocks me anymore." I reply honestly.

"Tell me about it!" He exclaims.

"It was great to see Louis and Freddie when I was in LA."

"How is the little lad?"

"Freddie isn't so little anymore, I cannot believe how much he's grown.  I spent the whole time cuddling and playing with him. He is so adorable. He and I had a complete babbling conversation it was the funniest thing ever. Did you know, he is already up on all fours rocking back and forth. It won't be long before he's crawling."

"Enough! You sound like the doting father not Louis!"

"Hey! No one is more proud of Freddie than Louis." I state the obvious.

"Tell me about it. I had the never-ending Freddie slideshow courtesy of Louis when I saw him in Manchester last month. Freddie smiling, Freddie in the bath, Freddie with his football, Freddie in his England kit, Freddie in the pool, Freddie in the pram, Freddie with his teddy, Freddie in his Adidas outfit!"  

"That'll be you one day Niall, just wait.  I shall remind you of this conversation!" I laugh at him. He will be an incredible dad.  Hid kid would have golf clubs before their first birthday!

"Not likely, I need to find a good woman first."

"Well, look at me, it will hit you when you least expect it."

"Yes, and I am more than ready, bring it on!"

"Forgot to ask, how was Soccer Aid by the way?"

"Well, there was this one rather hot hostess looking after our team."

"Niall, I meant the football not the females!"

"Oh sorry, yes, the football, get comfy I'll tell you all.........."