Hey guys <3. This chapter is a filler chapter. I have been wanting to do Marilla's POV, and here it is! I really thought during the book what does Marilla think of Anne and how does her perception change overtime? This is my perspective of what I think Marilla must be thinking for all these years. Also, this may be a little sad, memories of Matthew come flooding back to Marilla. Anyways, I hope you enjoy <3. 

All rights go to L.M Montgomery for the passage in the middle.

Marilla's POV

I had the afternoon all to myself, so I decided to use is wisely. I used to enjoy these alone times to myself a couple of years back, when there was no one around and I can just think. But now, I somewhat dread this time to myself, I have gotten so used to Anne rambling on about absolutely nothing, and I have also take a liking for it. However, this is my time to gather my thoughts, as I will have no other time to do so. This is my time to face the reality of what has struck upon me.

The first thought that comes to mind is Matthew. Dear, the one and only, Matthew. I miss him so much. His quiet presence gave me so much encouragement and sympathy for when I was down, all these years. I already knew he was getting tired and old with all this heavy work and if I had known about the Abbey Bank, then none of this would have happened! He would still be here with us today, sitting quietly on the dinner table, while Anne would ramble on and I would tell her to be quiet. Those times were so precious to me. If I had done something, maybe not make him work so hard, maybe help out a bit, maybe tried to save Green Gables farm, then none of this would have happened. It is all my fault. Tears have sprung into my eyes by now, my vision blurred, all memories coming back to me. This is my first real chance to grieve, as I felt like it was my duty to stay strong for Anne. So I sat there, crying to my heart's content. 

Matthew, my dear brother. I loved him so much, and I will never stop loving him and I will not forget him, he would have never forgotten me, or stopped loving me. So I remember all the beautiful times I shared with him, from when we were little kids to when we were old people without any children. He always helped me when I was down, he changed me a bit. When John went away from Avonlea, he was the one who helped me out, comforted me and told me it was going to be okay. When mother died, he helped me so much, even though he was also grieving as well. I never made it up to him, until Anne came along. 

I realised then I have never seen Matthew so happy till after Anne came. I remember our conversation the night Anne came:

"Well, this is a pretty kettle of fish," I said wrathfully. "This is what comes of sending word instead of going ourselves. Richard Spencer's folks have twisted that message somehow. One of us will have to drive over and see Mrs. Spencer tomorrow, that's certain. This girl will have to be sent back to the asylum."

"Yes, I suppose so," said Matthew reluctantly.

"You suppose so! Don't you know it?"

"Well now, she's a real nice little thing, Marilla. It's kind of a pity to send her back when she's so set on staying here."

"Matthew Cuthbert, you don't mean to say you think we ought to keep her!"

My astonishment could not have been greater if Matthew had expressed a predilection for standing on his head.

"Well, now, no, I suppose not—not exactly," stammered Matthew, uncomfortably driven into a corner for his precise meaning. "I suppose—we could hardly be expected to keep her."

"I should say not. What good would she be to us?"

"We might be some good to her," said Matthew suddenly and unexpectedly.

"Matthew Cuthbert, I believe that child has bewitched you! I can see as plain as plain that you want to keep her."

"Well now, she's a real interesting little thing," persisted Matthew. "You should have heard her talk coming from the station."

"Oh, she can talk fast enough. I saw that at once. It's nothing in her favour, either. I don't like children who have so much to say. I don't want an orphan girl and if I did she isn't the style I'd pick out. There's something I don't understand about her. No, she's got to be despatched straight-way back to where she came from."

"I could hire a French boy to help me," said Matthew, "and she'd be company for you."

"I'm not suffering for company," I said shortly. "And I'm not going to keep her."

"Well now, it's just as you say, of course, Marilla," said Matthew rising and putting his pipe away. "I'm going to bed."

I remember that conversation like it was yesterday. I had so much doubt in her, I really didn't want to keep her! If it hadn't been for Matthew, then I wouldn't have changed my mind. And of course, if Anne didn't tell me about her past, then I may have not changed my mind either. And Matthew was right. We were good for her, just like she was good for us.

She was the bright light in our hearts', especially his. They way he would talk about her to other people (of course when he did talk), to when he would buy her things, such as the puff sleeve dress. He would do anything for her, as she was his one and only daughter. And he would do anything for me as well, as I am his sister and he loved me so dearly. If I had only helped him in some way, this would have never happened. I continued to cry, until I couldn't produce anymore tears. 

I have to make it up to him somehow, he deserved better than this. 

Then Anne came to my mind. 

He loved Anne so dearly, he would have done anything to make her happy. She was his bright light, Anne was the one who kept him going for a little while longer. When she first came, he was the one who convinced me to let her stay. When she asked me for puff sleeves and I said no, he was the one who got it for her. When she got the Avery scholarship, he looked like the proudest man in the world. It was his daughter on stage, his one and only girl. If I am being honest, at first I didn't see what he first saw in her, but she wormed our way into our hearts, and everyone else's heart in Avonlea. She also became my bright light, she was the one who also kept me going. Goodness knows how many mistakes she made, or how people judged her by her looks, but she kept her head up high and she didn't stop anyone from putting her down. That is what Matthew and I admire about her so much. The way she finds beauty in everything, and the bright spot in every dark situation. She has been through so much in such a little span of her lifetime, she deserves credit for that. Matthew loved her with all his heart, and so do I. We love her like our own.

As was thinking about this, I finally knew how to make it up to Matthew. It would make me very happy as well, as Anne means the world to me now. She has changed me within, and now it is time I make it up to her, because she made me the person I am today. 

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Thank you for reading this chapter. I started it a while back and this morning, I experienced a loss within my community and I felt so grieved by it, I decided to write the chapter based on what I feel loss is like. This loss really hit the community, this person was a real help for all of us, they helped us in any way they can and they changed our life a lot. And it changed us all forever. So I decided to dedicate this chapter to them. Thank you so much for helping the whole community, you will dearly be missed. And thank you all for reading <3.