Kimberly's Pov

I've often wondered what a human life is worth but today, mine is worth nothing.

I rearranged the letters on my bed, trying to make it perfect. I cleaned my room and put everything in its place. I had washed and dried all my clothes and all my stuffed animals were in a neat row. The window was polished and so was the mirror. I hoovered the carpet and looked at what I had accomplished. My room was tidy for the first time ever and I went downstairs to eat something before I leave. I ate the waffles that Rafa had made in the morning. Yum.

I grabbed my coat and my little backpack with just the essentials, nothing too much. I grabbed Jason's MP3 player, it's so old, the locket, the fake rose and letter. I then proceeded to walk over to the rental car. I had bought a phone and everything was recovered, thankfully. I looked at the time. 10 am. Perfect. I'll reach there at about 2 and have enough time to do everything.

I stopped at the same diner the last time I came and got one last hot chocolate and muffin before continuing. I reached there a bit after 2. I did everything that was necessary. Crashed my old high school, glad to know they were happy to see me. Visited Jason's grave once more and the old house that's now for sale that I used to live in and had some of the best memories there.

I walked across the road and through some trees. I picked up a lily on the way, putting it in my hair and remembering the time Jason had done it but then caused it to get tangled and I had petals stuck in my hair for the rest of the day. I lightly laughed. I'm going to see him again. I walked through the fields, looking upon some hills where Rafa, Hannah, Jason and I used to roll down as kids. I smiled at the memory. I'm going to see him again. I continued walking, approaching the river, Jason's deathbed. I suddenly remembered the time I had tried to teach Jason how to swim but he got scared of a fish that was swimming. I'm going to see him again.

I went to the lone tree there and sat underneath it, taking out everything I needed. I remembered the that he told me to sit under here and told me his crush. It was a shocker to find out it was Matthew but I guess it would make sense. They were adorable. I also remembered the time he told me to go hide and had counted under here, the time when I found him and he didn't find me. I'm going to see him again.

I gathered the locket, rose and letter and put it on a bundle of sticks I had collected. I took out my match and lit one end of it. I slowly touched it to the wood and saw how it travelled up slowly like a snake, cautiously at first before drowning it whole, engulfing it in warmness. I saw how it burnt the chain of the locket and made it go darker and darker until it was black and a piece snapped off as easy as taking off a leaf. I saw how it burnt the letter crisp, shrinking it, making it cower in fear until nothing was left off it and finally I saw the rose. I saw how the plastic had melted into a small pool forming at the bottom, making the flames spread faster. The petals of the flame climbing up until it was sat at the top and shrunk what was beneath it. The top of the flower went limp as it broke off from the stem and disappeared into the flames beneath it. This whole exchange made me think of my body, burning in hell.

A cloud tear fell from the sky, dropping onto my nose. I smiled. It's raining. Perfect. I watched as the rain fought with the almighty power of fire but the pureness of water eventually wiped out the polluted flames as they shrank, screeching in their demise. I saw what was left of the things I had held so dearly. Nothing but black. Like my heart. Like my soul.

I watched as the raindrops fell into the river, like an army going into battle. The sweet sound of them hitting the surface, just able to break the first layer of the river before merging into it. Things like this make me glad I'm ending it like this. I looked at the time. 4. perfect.

I stood on to the edge of the little platform, about a metre above the raging river. The tides were going fast and the waves were bobbing up and down. I put the MP3 player under the tree, where it wouldn't get wet and made it replay a song. A sad song. Or one I found sad. It played in the background as I got my phone out, the screen getting wetter by the second. I opened Hannah's contact and messaged her.

To: Hannah

I'm going to call. Pick up but don't speak. Just listen.

I waited until it said read and I called her. I moved my wet hair behind my ear as I put the wet piece of metal close to my ear. I heard the ringing before hearing the click signalling that someone had answered. I smiled to myself before speaking. The song still playing in the background.

"I didn't kill Jason. I think you're ready to know what actually happened. He killed himself. Exactly the way I'm going to be doing now." I put the phone near my feet and put on speaker so she and everyone else could hear whats happening.

"Goodbye."

With my life falling into a black abyss, I stepped off the edge. My body fell into the river, almost majestically. The strong waves pulled me down and I didn't resist. Truth is, I love being alive but I love being free as well. And if I don't have those, I feel like an animal, locked in a cage with no will of its own. I'd rather not be in a cage and I'd rather be dead. It's not hard to understand and I don't think it's very uncommon either.

I close my eyes as the waves pulled me closer, wrapping around me like a mother would. They all wanted me to be their anchor but they didn't realise that meant I had to drown. I felt the consciousness coming and going and I found it harder to breathe. But this is what I wanted. I let it wrap its tendrils around and pull me to its chest like a father would to a winning child. I let it lull me to sleep like a brother would and I let him hold me like a lover. The river is everything I've ever wanted. And I knew I made the right decision as I felt the stress leave my body, my mind, my life. I closed my eyes and took a breath, it was time. I'm going to see you again Jason. I hope you waited for me.

Life won't wait, but death won't either.

***

(Sad song is in top. Makes me cry every time. Love Merlin so freaking much. Ughh 💕💕💜🔥 Also I can imagine my friend, Mariah, singing and crying to this because she's a bigger fan and she sings it all the time and sometimes you want her to shut up! OK MARIAH I KNOW YOU ARE READING 😂😂😂)

Thank you for reading!

Give a vote for dead Kimmy. Or is she?

Milli xoxo