Kimberly's Pov

I lay awake that night. Thoughts were swirling in my mind and questions were swimming laps. How much of a coincident must it be to move to the same town that Hannah moved to 4 years ago. Did Sebastian hear anything? I hope he didn't. Telling anyone about my mistakes would be terrible but telling someone I deeply cared about, I shuddered. Imagine them judging me and saying what an evil person I was. I moved on to my side. Maybe they would leave me, deciding they didn't like who I am. They would think it was all my fault. But was it?

I turned back on to my back and stared at the glow in the dark stickered ceiling. Pulling on my blanket until it was under my chin, I sighed. Closing my eyes I tried to sleep but I could just see horrors. Real horrors. The type that keeps you up at night, like right now, and the ones that make you lose your friends.

I shook my head slightly and reached over to get my phone and called the one person that wouldn't answer. I clicked the label that said Jason Buddy and put it to my ear. As expected, no one picked up and only the constant beeps were heard. Then someone spoke.
"Hey, this is Jason's voicemail. If it's important don't ring me back, if it's not important don't call me back but if it's something juicy please call me back. And i- KIMMY I'm trying to record my voicemail, don't jump on the freaking bed!"
"But it's sooo fun!"
"I know but you don't need to jump right now! Couldn't you have waited 5 minutes? Ugh. Now I have to re-record!"
"Don't record it again, leave it like this. It's funny."
"Fine Kimmy." And then he sighs before the annoying voice of the computer spoke. I pressed the end button and looked at the time on my phone. 00:01. It's officially Thursday. 13th November. The day he left. Putting my phone back, I buried myself in the sheets and silently cried, or I thought I did.

Someone could be heard walking in the hallway, the footsteps were light but they were there. My door slowly creaked open and the soft voice of Rafa was heard. "Are you okay Kim?"
I sniffle in response.
"Oh Kimberly," she states as she came into my bed and held me. I was no longer the big comforting sister but the tiny depressed one. I continued to cry as she rubbed my back. Around an hour later, I told her. Everything. I trusted her more than anyone an I hope she feels the same way.

Flashback

Jason and I walked through the field in a comfortable silence. That's what I liked about our friendship, we can sit in silence and it wouldn't be awkward for a single second. We finally reached our destination and sat down together by the riverbank. Our legs were crossed and our knees were touching. I felt him grab my hands and I turned to look at his bright blue eyes.

"Promise me something," he says.

"Of course," I say happily.

He looked at me, his blonde hair falling in pieces across his forehead and his sky-blue eyes intently staring into my soul. His normal grin was replaced with a slight frown and his hands were clasped tightly in an ice-cold grip. He never replied.

"Jase, what should I promise?" I encourage him, slightly worried.

"Just promise me that you won't forget me, Kimmy."

"Of course not silly," I say. "We're going to be best friends forever. Or until one of us dies anyway. Especially in high school next month. It's going to be so much fun!" I rant excitedly.

"Yeah," Jase says.

"Let's play hide and seek," he suggests as he stands up and stuck a hand out to me, his sad demeanour completely melting though there was a slight residue.

"Sure," I say while grabbing his hand and pulling him down on me. We both laugh as he falls onto the soft grass.

"I'm going to count to 50 so go hide, Kimmy," he urges as he turns away from me and looks at a lone tree overlooking the lake.

"1, 2, 3..," Jason starts.

I squeal and run away. I end up hiding behind a blueberry bush. I waited a few seconds before hearing,

"Ready or not, here I come!"

I silently giggle to myself and wait for my best friend to find me. I started to eat the blueberries while I waited. It had been 5 minutes and he hadn't found me, the only sounds I had heard was a slight splash and rustling. Eventually, I got bored so I came out to look for Jase.

"Jason buddy!!" I scream, walking back to the original spot near the lake.

I go over to the lone tree and see a few things under it. 3 to be specific. A rose, a locket and a letter. I opened the letter and read.

Dear Kimmy, my best friend.

I am sorry for doing this, I know it's a very selfish thing to do but it was all I could do. The fighting is getting worse and the alcohol bottles are appearing everywhere. It is a terrible place to stay and I regret leaving Hannah but I am a terrible older brother. Hannah is scared, I hope you will look after her for me.

I've always sucked at English so this is going to be short but please don't blame yourself. Make sure no one blames themselves. Not even my parents. It's not anyone's fault and there is nothing that anyone could have done. I was too much of a toxin to everyone.

I want to thank you for sticking with me for the best 12 years of my life. I hope one day you can get over this tragedy but still keep me in your heart and keep your promise.

I love you.

Lots of love,
Your best friend.
Your brother.
Jason.

P.S Die a virgin please K. And don't look in the river.

I was not stupid, I knew exactly what this meant. I had always appreciated the way he was so strong and I never knew that one day he would break. I thought maybe he would last forever but nothing ever lasts forever. Everything is broken or destroyed at one point.

Death was all around us. Everywhere we go and everywhere we look. 3000 people kill themselves every day but we don't notice until we do. Until someone dear to our heart makes up 1 of the 3000 people.

Tears had begun streaming down my face, pooling up on the ground. My breaths were ragged. Breathing has never been harder before. When you cry so much, it makes you realise that breathing isn't as easy as you thought it would be. My automatic response was to hurriedly run to the river, screaming Jason repeatedly until my voice was hoarse and the tears had all dried up, just remaining on my cheeks. Sitting at the edge of the river, I stumbled with my phone before calling my parents.

The rest of the went by slowly, painfully but in a complete blur. My parents had come, along with Jason's parents and sister. The police were phoned and the ambulance had come. I saw frightfully as Jason's body was pulled up from the river. His skin was green and lifeless, falling limp. His lips were parted but no respiration taking place. His parents had screamed at me, telling me it was my fault, and cried for the loss of their son. Hannah, his sister, had slapped me out of anger, losing a sibling must have been hard.

I couldn't tell anyone about what happened. I tried to speak but my mind had restrained me from telling them so with my letter, locket and rose in my hand, I ran home. I was desperate to get away from the questioning eyes and accusing stares. The rose was fake so it never left the vase on my bedside table. In the locket was a picture of Jason and I. It was heartbreaking. The letter was kept in the depth of my room and the depth of my heart. I didn't want to show anyone the letter because I felt like it as just for me and no one else should see it. It would feel like someone was invading our bubble if their eyes were to settle on it.

That night I had texted Jason, though he never saw or opened it but it felt calming and relaxing. I fell asleep that troublesome night by listening to his voicemail and watching videos of us, it was the only way to hear his voice or see his bubbly personality or his lovely blue eyes and blonde hair. He was like my diary. I could tell him anything and everything and not a single soul would see. This way, I also kept my promise.

End of flashback

I told her exactly what happened, how it was my fault, I was there, I could have stopped him from leaving but I didn't. I continued crying as the wheels of thought began to turn in Rafa's head. We eventually passed out in each other's arms. There is nothing, and I mean nothing like sisterly love. Lovers love? That is something else.

And then Sir Stompie decided to cry, oh boy. There goes the rest of my night. I need to tell Rafa to give Sebastian him tomorrow. For now, I'll enjoy (despise) his presence.

***

Thank you for reading!

Give a vote for dead Jason and poor Hannah.

Milli xoxo