I don't know. I just feel depressed for no reason. Like non at all. I have a great life. A girlfriend amazing friends and awesome parents. I have awesome grade and everything I would really want. But I feel like like I am missing a huge part of me. Like I was never actually happy through those years and I was just doing it for the sake of living. I need help. Half of me feels empty and the other just wants to keep going just for the sake of going. I have a whole life ahead of me and I know I will never quit. But I just feel like I'm missing something. The only things that make me feel happy is art YouTube and when I can hear my self think. (Which trust me is rare in my house when your sister won't shut up) it's kind f hard to. Try to make other happy and help them back of a path when you're not sure where you're going your self. Like one person I know. This Person is depressed and stuff. I am trying hard to help the person out. (Not saying names cause I'm not sure if the person want this out or not) but it's just hard when ur not too happy with your self at the time. I hope you a understand. Another thing is a really good friend of mine is moving to North Carolina. So now i rarely see her. I usually get to see her once a year. But now it will be even less frequent. But I know it wasn't her. I have felt like this before I knew she was leaving. Now don't worry about me I'm good. But if I seem off at all that is why. I know this was deep but you know... I guess that's how it goes some times. Sometimes I do believe though happiness is a lie. But then again it could just be a rare moment when you genuinely smile or laugh. Again in not suicidal. But even trolls hurt me.

Now I'm not as depressed as you think I am. I just feel empty and kind of worthless at the moment. I feel like what I do is just to please others and I like that. I do. But I never really feel like I actually helped. Or I made it worse. I feel like I do the opposite of what I intend.

I always though "Oh This feeling of emptiness Is a phase and will go away eventually." Or "Its just the fact you broke up with someone." But now I have the girl of my dreams. Life is just really confusing at the moment.

I would love some rest from these thoughts. But I guess this will never go away. And you know when this feeling started? Around the ending of sixth grade ish.

I'm sorry that u made you read this. I just had to get it down. And being adopted doesn't help. Cause it makes you feel like your true parents never wanted you for what ever reason.

Sorry this is all over. Until next time. Until then stay happy my little wolfs! <3