"Close your eyes," I said, and she didn't bother answering me and closed her eyes immediately. "You can hear the waves crashing at each other, right?" I asked and she nodded.

"That's all I've been listening to without you," Sambit ko bago niya binuksan ang kanyang mga mata. "I just thought that I had to distance myself because I don't want to lose you when Gabe gets jealous or something. He is capable of keeping you away from me if ever," I shrugged before looking away.

I don't want to risk the chance of losing her. Mas gugustuhin kong itikom na lang ang bibig ko at pagmasdan siyang maging masaya kaysa na malayo siya sa akin.

"I won't let my relationship with Gabe get in the way of something that we have," She said. Nahuli ko naman ang kanyang pulsuhan at dahang ibinaba 'yon. I wanted to clear something out.

"Tell me, Lia... what do we have?"

She was puzzled. Kaya hindi ko rin alam kung dapat ba na mag assume ako lagi tuwing magkakaroon kami ng romantic tension. Lagi kasi siyang hindi sigurado o kaya naman iiwasan ang topic.

While we were on the beach, naglalaro na sa tubig ang mga girls habang kaming mga lalaki ay nasa buhangin pa, minding our own business.

"Do you still like my girlfriend?" Gabe asked at napalingon naman ako kay Lia na nageenjoy paglaruan ang tubig sa dagat.

"I think I love her man," I answered in honesty and he sighed

"I will give her to you, kasi alam kong mas masaya siya kapag ikaw ang kanyang kasama," He said in a monotone. At nagtaka naman ako, why would he let her go for me?

"But you treat her better, sakit lang ako sa ulo para sa kanya," I rolled my eyes.

"Then change. Look, sobrang mahal ko si Lia pero kung mananatili kami sa isang relasyon kung saan nararamdaman niya na may kulang, I Would let her go para sa inyo," He sighed. "I was just a piece in her puzzle, para sa inyong dalawa."

"You don't know that, bakit sinabi niya ba sa'yo directly na mas masaya siya sa akin?" I asked at umiling siya. "That's what I thought."

"But I know that the last piece of her life puzzle is you," Bawi niya pa. "You should know that she needs you."

Tumango na lang ako sa kanya dahil wala na akong masabi. I unconsciously looked at her again and smiled.

Oh to be yours, Lia.

Confused.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit iniiwasan ako ni Lia. May nagawa ba ako sa kanya? I was treating her like a normal human being but why is she treating me like some person infected by a contagious disease?

Buong Christmas celebration namin puro kami iwasan. I was avoiding her because she was avoiding me! Fuck, I don't know how much longer I can last without asking her what's wrong.

I was drinking wine while lost in thought when I saw Lia coming into the kitchen. Natulala naman siya sa akin, "Lia... whatever I did, I'm sorry," I said in a very serious tone. I want to clear up things with her because I don't want to celebrate Christmas with her being mad at me.

"What? You didn't do anything, you're the one who's ignoring me," Umirap siya at hinawakan ko ang magkabilang pisngi niya at pinagdikit ang aming mga noo.

"I thought you were mad at me," I said. She looked up to me before shaking her head as she smiled. That gorgeous smile.

"You know that I can't be mad at you, because now I understand everything you're going through and dealing with, Rav."

I nodded. Hindi ko naman na alam ang sasabihin ko kaya bigla naman ako napatingala at nagulat kami parehas nang makita na nasa ilalim kami ng mistletoe, "Do you want to kiss?" I asked bravely and she slowly leaned in to kiss me.

It was my first time tasting her lips. I craved more of her. We both craved more of each other. Maybe it's because of the wine... it made us do some things that night that we'll both regret the next day.

But one thing is certain. Even though it was wrong, I still liked the feeling of owning her. Because I know that it may be my first and last with her.

There was guilt.

So much guilt that I couldn't take it anymore. I found myself in front of Gabe's house to tell him what exactly happened between me and his girlfriend. It was wrong. So fucking wrong.

"What are you doing here?" He asked. He seemed like he was still studying for something. He was wearing his specs kasi.

"I came here to tell you something that happened between me and Lia," I said in a straight tone. I don't want to sugarcoat anything, I had to be forward with him. He raised a brow before gesturing to me to keep talking. "We had sex on Christmas Eve."

It took him a while to process what I said. But slowly, his tears began to fall but he wiped it before giving me a forced smile. "I was already expecting it. But I'll wait until she tells me about it. Thank you for telling me."

Weeks have passed and Lia didn't seem bothered about it. Nagawa niya pa ngang i-legal sa magulang niya si Gabe which they surprisingly accepted. I know that she has strict parents at pumayag lang naman sila dahil dating colleague ng Mom ni Gabe ang Mom ni Lia.

Part of me wants to tell her that I am better for her even though I am not as perfect as he is.

Kanina niya pa pinaguusapan si Gabe. At kanina pa rin ako naiinis, and I know I can't control myself anymore. "I can't take it anymore, Aurelia," I cut her off. "Are you that numb, Lia? Bakit sa dami ng pahiwatig ko sa'yo ay hindi mo pa rin nakukuha 'yung hint? O baka ayaw mo lang tanggapin na gano'n ang nararamdaman ko sa'yo?"

"Na ano, Ravi? Hindi kita maintindihan," Sambit niya at nagawa pang hawakan ang kamay ko. I chuckled sarcastically at tinanggal ang hawak niya sa kamay ko.

"Tangina, mahal kita!"

I finally said it. She was too dense and numb to know that I had feelings for her which pissed me off.

"No, hindi 'yan totoo. Stop playing games, Ravi. You flirt just for fun, kaya hindi na ako magtataka kung bakit gano'n ang pakikitungo mo sa akin noon," She rolled her eyes. I couldn't believe her! Hindi siya pwedeng mag deny lagi o iwasan ang usapan. .

"You can't tell that I am in love with you because you're too busy loving him to even notice me," I said almost in tears. "You know.. Loving you was torture, and I enjoyed it too much. But I'm sorry... I'm done waiting,"

I left them. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko. Pero ang alam ko na kailangan ko lang iinom 'to para kahit papaano ay malimutan ko ang problema na 'to kahit panandalian lamang.

Nagulat na lang ako noong makita ko si Lia sa harapan ko. What the fuck is she doing here at the bar? Paano niya rin nalaman na nandito ako? Harvey must've told her.

"What are you doing here, Lia? Aren't you supposed to be with your perfect little boyfriend that was practically sculpted by God?" I sarcastically asked and she just smiled weakly before running her fingers in my hair. God that feels so good.

"He treats me so well, Ravi," Sambit niya at binitiwan ko ang kamay niya.

"Good for you, Lia. You deserve him—"

"But he's not you."

Natulala naman ako sa kanyang mukha. Did I just hear it correctly? Does that mean she also wants me?

"He treats me so well but he's not you. It's always different from kapag ikaw ang kapiling ko. Some part of me feels so empty kapag wala ka, Ravi. I just realized that when you told me that you love me."

We both smiled. I was happy.

I am her guitarist, and she'll be my singer.

Days with her were fun. It made me feel like I was actually enjoying living my life. She was the other dream that I finally reached. It felt like all my worries faded when I saw that there was hope for us.

I wanted to make her feel special and also the love that she deserves. Ngayon nga lang ako naging ganito sa isang babae e. Ibang iba kasi si Lia sa ibang mga babae. Kung tutuusin ay hindi niya ako kailangan, kasi kaya niyang alagaan ang kanyang sarili.

It was her 24th birthday. We threw a surprise party for her and she was happy. Seeing her smile already completed my whole day. All of the things I'd do just to see her smile.

Kaya nga minsan kapag nakikita ko siyang malungkot ay nalulungkot rin ako. Her emotions were contagious at ako lagi ang nahahawa. Ganito pala talaga kapag mahal mo ang isang tao.

"Lover! What's your wish?" I asked her and she looked at me with an amused look. The word lover just rolled out of my tongue casually. She might be thinking about why the sudden call sign.

Hindi kasi ako gumagamit ng mga call sign. I think it's corny and cheesy pero pagdating sa kanya, I just want to call her in every endearment there is.

"Official na ba kayo?" Shawn asked and me and Lia looked at each other. We don't really have a label as of the moment. We both like each other and enjoy our company.

"Secret, no clue!" Sabay na sambit namin ni Lia and we both chuckled.

Naging masaya kami ngayong gabi dahil kasama namin ang mga kaibigan namin. Hindi rin naman gaanong uminom si Lia dahil gusto niya pa rin maging healthy living person.

Minsan nga sinesermonan niya pa ako na baka magkasakit na ako sa atay dahil sa kakainom. Kaya occasionally na lang din ako umiinom para sa kanya.

Kung dati na gusto ko na mamatay ng maaga at ginagawa ko ang lahat para mapabilis ang proseso, ngayon naman ay sobrang ingat ko.

I wanted to live because for once I have someone that actually cares about me. Gusto ko na sanang mawala sa mundo noon, para wala na akong problema na kailangang isipin. Pero dumating siya sa buhay ko, I didn't want to leave her because I love her too much.

"You look so stunning, my Aurelia."

I was never the religious type of person. I never believed in the beliefs that school taught me. Bihira nga ako pumunta sa simbahan e. Pero dahil sa kanya, I started believing in God.

Wala na kaming naabutan na misa pero lumuhod pa rin kami sa isang upuan para magdasal.

"Ano pinag dasal mo?" She asked me and I just placed my arm around her, not answering the question because I wanted to keep it to myself.

Lord, I know that I barely come here but this time I am here to tell you how much I appreciate you giving me a chance to be with her. I don't know how long I'll spend my days with her, but I sure hope that it would be enough time to express my love for her. I wish her to become a successful doctor and save as many lives as she can. Give her the strength and motivation that she needs to push through with her dreams. I don't need her to love me as much as I love her, but I hope that she would be happy with my love and support.

Naglakad naman kami papunta sa sindihan ng kandila. At syempre, humiling ulit kami.

I noticed that she lit up three candles and I'm hoping that I am included in one of those. Isang kandila lang ang sinindihan ko. Para pa rin 'yun kay Lia dahil siya lang ang pinapahalagahan ko ngayon.

We were on our flight to the US at napansin kong gusto niya pa rin mag aral. I can't let her stay up and study, she needs a rest. Lalo na't sobrang busy ng schedule namin sa tour.

"Rest, worry about it later," Seryosong usal ko at wala naman na siyang nagawa.

When we arrived at our hotel, agad kami nag practice para sa first show namin. Nahiwalay naman si Lia sa amin dahil inayos niya muna ang gamit niya sa hotel room namin.

When I saw her walking in the room with a guy, my blood immediately boiled. Narinig ko naman ang mga tawa ng mga kaibigan ko.

"Napaka seloso naman ng kaibigan natin," Shawn said and I stood up before pulling Lia's hand and made her sit beside me. Hinayaan niya lang naman ako gawin 'yon sa kanya.

I was always insecure whenever another guy came near her. Sometimes I always want to tell everyone that she's my possession. Pero lagi kong naiisip na hindi pa nga pala kami so I can't claim my property yet. After the show nagpahinga na kami sa hotel.

"You did good earlier. You were doing your best kanina," She said while playing with my hair. I closed my eyes and cuddled her from the side. She smells so good, my baby smells so good.

"Of course, you were there kanina e. Nandoon sa harapan ko ang babaeng pinagkukuhanan ko ng lakas," I smiled.

The next morning, I took her out on a breakfast date. Akala ko nga ay wala nang sasagabal sa amin when I saw so many people approaching us. I immediately panicked because I don't want to involve her with the media too much.

She's too precious to experience something that won't be in our control.

"As their manager... it's best if we leave now and not entertain any further questions. We've answered enough and if you guys are going to keep on pushing and spreading fake rumors, we'll not think twice but to call our lawyer and file a case against all of you that will invade our privacy."

Agad ako nainis sa sinabi niya. She didn't have to say that, she's threatening the people which makes us even more guilty of what we're doing. Hindi ko naman sinasabi na ayaw ko siyang ipagkalat sa mga tao pero para rin naman sa kanya 'yon dahil ang mga magulang niya ay ayaw sa akin.

Wala naman akong magagawa doon. But they're right, I'm too bad for Lia. Hindi niya ako deserve dahil barumbado akong tao. I break things easily, and I am afraid to hurt her.

They already made up their mind that I was the type to pursue my passion rather than my degree. Pero hindi nila alam na kaya kong gawin ang dalawa para sa kinabukasan ko at ni Lia.

She was already part of my plans in my future. I already know that I am going to marry her after we both graduate. I want the best for her future and I am hoping that I am included doon.

"Then let's be official," She said and a crease immediately formed in my mouth as I stared at her. "We both like each other... no, we both love each other. Kaya tayo na. I will tell my parents about you. Wala rin akong paki kung gusto ka nila o hindi. Ang importante ay ang tayo."

I pulled her for a hug, "Fuck Lia I love you."

She's now my girlfriend, but we still have plenty to experience because our relationship is just getting started.

I actually sang a song for her at our concert and the crowd loved it. After the show, hinatid muna namin si Lia papunta sa hotel and me and the boys went out to get tattoos.

"Here's alcohol, it will help ease the pain," Sambit sa amin ng tattoo artist at ginawa naman namin 'yon. We all got inked on our wrist with our logo.

But I also got a tattoo on my chest with her name on it. "Ganyan ka pala ma in love, Raizen Vini?" Natatawang tanong ni Shawn and I just nodded with a smile.

Aurelia Zein.

The name of the person I truly love.

We were already talking about our future baby names. I was fine with it because she actually sees us having a family in the future. I really don't care if I get her pregnant now, kasi kaya ko naman panagutan ang bata. Hindi ko kailangan ng tulong galing sa aking mga magulang.

Raven Adiel Cortez & Aurora Venice Cortez.

Soon enough, you two will be born and we'll be great parents. I hope...

"Love! Make a wish," She told me before pointing to the shooting star. She really believed in these kinds of things, especially when it's related to the sky.

My only wish is for us to work and for her to become the best doctor in the future.

I woke up without her lying down at our bed, agad naman ako nataranta at tinawag ang mga kaibigan ko.

"Kumalma ka nga, alam mo naman na hindi ka kailangan ni Lia," Zach said and I became furious. What the fuck is he talking about?

Hinampas ko naman ang lamesa causing some things to break because they fell from the table. I couldn't control myself anymore, it felt like I needed to do something... break something, hurt something.

"Ano bro? Paano na gagawin mo kapag nagkamali na si Lia? Sasaktan mo? Aba tangina, anong klaseng boyfriend ka naman kung gano'n?" Sarkastikong tanong sa akin ni Zach at 'di ko na napigilang suntukin siya.

Nanginginig na ang aking mga kamay dahil sa takot rin. Tama siya, I might end up hurting her. Hindi pwede dahil sa ganitong kundisyon ko ay dito masira ang relasyon namin. I can't hurt her, and I'll try my best not to hurt her.

Hindi ko kakayanin ang suntok sa akin ng realization after I hurt her. Alam kong kakailanganin kong lumayo sa kanya dahil dito pero hindi muna ngayon.

I stormed out of the room pero nakinig lang ako sa sasabihin nila, baka mamaya ay ibackstab ao ng mga kaibigan ko at girlfriend ko e.

"I love him so much that I'm willing to be his shock absorber."

When I heard that, imbis na kiligin ako, agad akong nalungkot sa sinabi niya. Lagi akong nagagalit sa mga walang kwentang dahilan at handa siyang maramdaman ang masasakit na salita na galing sa aking bibig. Dapat nga hindi siya pumapayag sa ganitong ugali ko kasi mahihirapan siya.

She needs to save herself from me.

I tried my best to lessen my anger. But I couldn't help it, nagalala ako sa kanya dahil hindi siya nag reply sa akin. I checked her phone location so I went there and I saw her talking to a guy inside a restaurant. Of course, I concluded so many things in my mind.

"You cheated on Gabe with me so how am I supposed to trust you that you're not going to cheat on me?" I said impulsively and I received a slap from her.

I deserved that.

I found myself always drinking at a bar since then. Wala kaming matinong paguusap at lagi kong nararamdaman na may kulang sa akin kapag hindi ko siya nakikita sa isang araw.

Sobrang haba ng araw 'pag hindi ko siya kasama. Pero sobrang takot na ako na masaktan siya.

Mahal na mahal ko siya. She makes me laugh even when I'm not in the mood to smile, that's why I love her.

Papasok na sana ako ng bahay when I heard shouting from the inside. Pumasok ako at nagulat ako nang makita ko si Lia na hawak ni Daddy. May mga sugat rin siya so it was instinct to pull her to me. She immediately cried on my chest and I held her head to make her feel that she's safe with me.

"Why did you fucking hurt her? Hindi ko nga hinahayaang may kumagat sa kanya na lamok tapos ikaw gagaguhin mo lang ang girlfriend ko?" I said with gritted teeth and my Dad just laughed.

"Patawa ka Raizen. Paano ka rerespetuhin ng girlfriend mo kung hindi mo dinidisiplina?"

I then scoffed, this man is really unbelievable. "Disiplina? What the fuck, ano siya aso? Tangina, mahal ko si Lia. She doesn't deserve to be treated like a damn dog! I don't need her to respect me because I know that I am an asshole sometimes but I do respect her because that's what I am supposed to do!"

"Ikaw lang ata ang nagiisang lalaki na sinasaktan ang mahal niya e. O baka naman hindi totoong mahal mo ang nanay ko? Malay ko ba kung ginagamit mo lang siya parasa iyong negosyo upang manatili ito sa taas?" I continued and Dad punched me and I also punched him.

"Are you okay, my love?" I asked before curing her wound. Nagsimula na naman siyang umiyak and my heart felt heavy. I don't like it when I see her cry, para kasing wala akong magagawa para patahanin siya. "Hey, Lia, why are you crying?"

"Are you going to b-break up with me? I'm s-sorry..." She said and I stared at her before cupping her face for me to see her full face before shaking my head.

There won't be any reason for us to break up... unless I feel like it won't be healthy anymore.

"No I won't, Lia," I said in a serious tone. "Look, if anything happens or anything I will do that could harm our relationship... keep in mind that it will happen or I'll do it because of a reason, hmm?"

I knew that what I said wasn't enough assurance kasi hindi ko alam kung kakayanin ko pang manatili sa isang relasyon na ikasisira niya.

"You're so clingy today. Who are you and what did you do to my wife?" I said and she raised a brow. Practice lang naman e. Pero totoo naman na extra clingy siya and very moody these days. Naisip ko nga kung buntis siya pero kung totoo nga ang nasa isip ko ay sasabihin niya naman 'yon siguro.

"Anong wife? Girlfriend lang pre. Hindi mo pa nga ako binibigyan ng singsing e," She rolled her eyes and I stared at her before giving a kiss. Alam ko na kung ano ang gagawin ko mamaya, I'm going to buy her a ring and propose to her.

"I'll marry you after we both graduate. Wait for the ring, my Aurelia."

I bought her one of the most expensive engagement rings but I couldn't give it to her yet since she said that she has a family dinner. But when I looked at her location she was moving. Mukhang papunta siya sa isang dagat kaya kinuha ko agad ang gamit ko pati susi at sinundan siya.

I thought that she was just lost or something but my heart sank when I saw her with Gabe.

Tangina naman.

Akala ko magiging okay na ang realsyon namin at wala nang kailangan problemahin pero tangina why was she with her ex?

We didn't get a chance to actually talk about what happened since we have gotten really busy. Nag resign pa nga siya bilang manager namin kaya hindi talaga kami magkikita.

"This is Alessandra, our new manager," Pagpapakilala ni Shawn at tumango ako bago pumasok sa studio para iwasan 'yung babae. Kanina pa kasi malagkit ang tingin niya sa akin and I have to distance myself because I know her motives.

Kahit naman na may tampuhan kami ni Lia ay girlfriend ko pa rin siya.

We were performing at a bar and I wasn't enjoying it anymore, because my Lia wasn't here to watch me perform.

After the show, our manager was already drunk at nagulat nang biglang kumapit siya sa leeg ko, "What the fuck?" I hissed and pushed her off but she clinged again.

"I have a fucking girlfriend," I whispered pero hindi niya ako pinansin at hinalikan ako sa labi. I was shocked so I couldn't push her away in time.

Masyado naging magulo ang mga pangyayari and it involved Lia witnessing me and Alessandra kiss. Fuck. Umalis siya ng bar at susundan ko na dapat siya pero pinigilan ako ng manager namin.

"Don't fucking touch me. We'll fire you after what you just fucking did! Alam mo naman na may girlfriend ako 'di ba? Tangina mo," I spat before following Lia sa kung saan man siya pumunta.

We ended our relationship and I knew that from there, I won't ever find someone to love again.

I blame myself for everything.

I already hurt her too much at hindi niya 'yon sana mararanasan kung hindi ko hinayaang mahalin ko siya.

Had I known that our time together would be short, I would've asked my Lia to marry me already. I should've given her enough assurance that I am only hers. I know that I wasn't a perfect man for her, but I could've chosen to stay from the very start without hurting her.

I should've told her I love you more often because I appreciate her so damn much. Kung alam ko lang na may hangganan kami, sana hindi ko sinayang ang mga panahong kapiling ko pa siya.

I was left staring at our picture while my tears were falling.

"Sana pag tama na ang panahon... pagtagpuin muli tayo."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

:(