RAVI

"Ravi! May gig tayo mamaya sa regular bar natin ah."

I closed the book that I was reading before turning to him and nodded. Nasa ilalim ako ngayon ng puno nagrereview para sa upcoming exam namin. Kapag bumagsak pa ako dito baka tuluyan na akong palayasin ng pamilya ko sa aming bahay at ayaw ko 'yon mangyari.

They never really loved the thought of me pursuing my passion for music. They don't love it but they don't hate it either. Being a musician or part of a band was my dream since I was a child because I loved listening to music.

I want to be able to write and produce my own music. My family would kill me though, kasi gusto nila naka focus lang ako sa business namin across the world. Ginagawa din naman nila 'to para sa kapakanan ko, my dad would always tell me na wala akong maabot kapag mas tinuon ko ang atensyon ko sa pag kanta ay wala akong mapapala.

Nevertheless, I still try to keep my grades up kahit pasang awa lang para hindi nila ako patigilin sa kung ano talaga ang gusto ko as a hobby.

We arrived at our studio and we practiced the songs we're going to perform later.

"You guys are so fire, lalo ka na, Ravi!" Shawn said and I just chuckled before taking the compliment. Kung sinuportahan ako ng pamilya ko simula nung bata pa lang ako e'di sana sikat na ako ngayon. But they didn't believe in me back then.

Ngayon naman ay malapit na kami sumikat. Bagong debut lang kaming grupo, our music producer helped us with all of this. Ang kaso lang wala kaming manager that's why we're having a hard time managing our schedules and such.

Hindi kami sikat pero kilala naman kami sa ibang mga lugar. Kaunti na lang maabot na talaga namin ang aming mga pangarap and I have a good feeling about the single we're going to release in a week.

"Stop complimenting me. Harvey was the one who carried the whole practice," I turned to Harvey and he just shook his head before getting some water.

Mabilis naman ang oras at nakarating na kami sa labas ng bar. The people are getting our stuff to place inside the bar and setting it up there. Hindi naman ako kinakabahan dahil hindi naman ito ang first time namin to do a performance at a club.

We do small gigs but never big ones, hindi pa kasi kami gaanong exposed sa media kaya hindi pa kaya ng budget namin magkaroon ng concert. Alangan naman gumastos kami sa isang concert venue tas walang bumili ng tickets at walang mag pakita 'di ba?

I was about to call Zach and Shawn when I saw them at the front entrance talking to a girl. Zack was clearly flirting with the girl at natawa na lang ako sa sarili ko at nakinig sa kanilang usapan. Zach is known for the most flirtiest guy in our group, paano araw araw iba't ibang babae ang sinasaktan at pinapaasa.

He's not the commitment type of guy and I can't blame him. Ako rin naman takot mag commit dahil baka masaktan ko lang yung babae. I don't like settling kasi masyadong mabigat ang responsibilidad na gano'n, usually when I meet a girl and I lead her on... nasasaktan ko na lang siya because I don't date.

I'm an asshole, right?

But I love the thrill of turning someone on and seeing if the woman is different and they could lead me to settle and change.

"I'm flattered but I could tell that I am way older than you two," The girl turned down Zach and I grinned. May pang asar na ako sa kanya mamaya. This is Zach's first ever rejection and I love to watch it.

She looks attractive, but she's right. She looks like she's older than us, but her height was average. Mas matangkad kaming lahat sa kanya which is cute. Pero mukhang masungit kaya hard pass na lang, baka subukan ko lang kunin number niya ay agad niya akong murahin or irapan e.

"You're feisty, I like you," Zach continued flirting and I just rolled my eyes before slowly walking towards them pero hindi nila ako napansin.

"I don't like you, so fuck off," She hiss at doon ko na hindi mapigilang matawa ng malakas. I just watched him get rejected! I should've taken a picture, sayang.

I locked eyes with the girl and I saw her surveyed my whole appearance, she must like what she's seeing.

Hindi nga niya kami nakilala eh, which was odd because we always perform here. Hindi niya ba kami maalala from one of our other gigs?

"Come on, Zach. The woman doesn't like you, now you two, let's go. We have to prepare our equipment," I told them bago maunang mag lakad. Nasa likod na kami ng bar and we have a few hours until we get called up on the stage, nagpaparami pa kasi sila ng tao dito.

"I'm telling you Harvey, Zach's face was so fucking funny! It was his first time being turned down by a hot girl," I laughed out loud at inismiran lang ako ni Zach habang kaming tatlo ay tumatawa ng malakas.

"Who you kayo kapag nakita ko ulit 'yung babae at na pa oo ko! Pakipot lang siya dahil nahihiya sa'kin eh," He scoffed at tumango tango na lang kami kahit hindi namin siya pinaniwalaan.

"Give it up for Bloodthirst!" The emcee shouted and we all walked out at marami ang nag palakpakan sa crowd at ngumiti lang kaming lahat. See what I mean? People know us, but not enough to execute a concert. I picked up my electric guitar and wore the strap of it and connected it to the amplifier.

"Today we're going to perform an original and a cover later. I hope you enjoy it," I said as Harvey counted and we started singing. While performing I saw the girl again and she was looking at me, I grinned before turning my attention to other people.

When we finished performing I still saw the girl looking at me, even if she looks intimidating at first glance, why not talk to her right? I'm clearly her type.

Nakipag kamay ako sa ibang tao na bumabati sa akin pero ang buong atensyon ko ay nasa kanya lang.

She was running towards the bathroom and she accidentally bumped into me at muntikan pa siya mahulog, buti na lang hinawakan ko ang kanyang bewang. "Woah.. are you okay?" Hindi niya naman ako sinagot at dumiretso na sa loob at narinig ko siyang sumuka.

She was drunk pala? She didn't look like she was drunk because she still looks gorgeous, not like others. After a few minutes lumabas siya ng CR at sobrang gulo na ng kanyang makeup. I wanted to laugh but she looked like she needed some serious help starting off with removing her makeup and sobering her up.

Lumapit ulit si Zach at seryoso yung babae na wala siyang pake kay Zach kaya nakita ko ang kaunting sakit sa kanyang mga mata. You can't always be the one who breaks hearts, Zachery. That's karma.

Nagtitigan kami nung babae at sasabihin ko na sana na ibabalik ko siya sa couch ng kanyang mga kaibigan when she fell, "Shit!" I muttered out a curse. I checked if she was still breathing and she was. Tangina ano gagawin ko sa babaeng 'to ngayon?

Should I take her home or ask one of her friends to take her home?

Binuhat ko siya, lalapit sana sa mga kaibigan niya pero wala na sila doon! They were making out with guys at the corner.

"Fuck! Fuck!" I shouted.

Dinala ko naman siya sa parking, wala akong sariling kotse kaya hindi ko siya maihahatid pero baka siya mayroon. Kinuha ko ang kanyang bag at nag halungkat sa kanyang gamit, I saw a black ID lace and I checked it.

Aurelia Zein Alcantara | February 16, 1999 | Second Year Med School.

Aurelia... What a cute name. But I was right, she's two years older than me. Well I am 20 years old but I'll turn 21 in 2 months.

Nakita ko ang susi ng kotse niya so I looked for a honda civic car.

I clicked on the keys and I saw a gray car lit up. Lumapit ako doon at sinakay si Aurelia sa passenger seat and put on her seatbelt. I drove off to the address on her ID and we arrived at a huge house. Mayaman pala siya, ang laki ng bahay eh!

Med student naman siya so valid na may pera siya, pero napaisip naman ako. Siya kaya may ari ng Alcantara Medical Hospital? Hindi ko muna pinansin ang iniisip ko at pinark sa loob ang kanyang kotse. When I turned to her, she was slightly opening her eyes.

"Who are you? Why are you in my carrrr?" She said, still drunk. I just sighed before carrying her into her house. What did I even put myself into? Kakaiba namang charity work ang ginagawa ko ngayon, hays.

I searched for her room and when I saw a door with a sticker that says Lia I know that that's her room. Ang cute ng nickname niya. She herself is also cute, pero mukhang ayaw magkaroon ng boyfriend. She resisted Zach kanina at ang gwapo naman niyang lalaki.

"No... no. I'm not drunk, Mom! I just went to a bar–" She said, half asleep on the bed. I chuckled and took a photo of her. Messy her, messy makeup and only wearing a single heel.

As I was about to leave, nag salita siya ulit."I saw a cute boy earlier..." I turned to her with a curious glance, "Eve said his name was Ravi, marunong mag gitara!" Agad naman nanlaki ang mata ko bago tumawa, she thinks I'm cute? Wow. "Pero promise hindi ako hahanap ng boyfriend! I'm going to wait until I graduate from shitty med school."

Hmm, then I'll wait for you to graduate then, Lia.

"May malaking booking tayo na nakuha, this week. Sa Huxley University, big crowd. Hindi natin 'to palalagpasin, para magkaroon naman tayo ng exposure," Harvey said and I nodded and checked my calendar. Wala naman akong importanteng gagawin sa araw na 'yun kaya G agad ako.

"Sige, basta ako pipili ng mga kakantahin natin," I told them and they all agreed.

Bigla ko naman naisip ang Huxley University, familiar kasi siya. Wait! Doon nagaaral 'yung Aurelia na hinatid ko sa bahay niya because she was so fucking wasted. Labag sa loob ko nga 'yon ginawa pero wala akong choice.

Kahit tarantado ako, may pakialam pa rin ako sa babae. I can't let her drive while she's intoxicated. Ang ganda niya pa naman, crush ko nga eh! Pero hanga lang, no romantic feelings.

I can't open up myself after my past serious relationship.

I'm scared that they'll judge me and not accept me for what I am. Mahirap na.

After band practice, umuwi na ako agad.

Habang nasa highway ako may nakita akong babae na nagmamadali tumawid, I stepped on my break para hindi siya mabangga. Hindi niya 'ko pinansin at tumakbo pa rin.

"Are you okay, miss?!" I shouted. Hindi na niya ako sinagot at sumakay na ng jeep. I sighed before going back inside my car. People are really crazy these days, gabi na tapos naglalakwatsa pa.

The day came and we all were inside the Huxley's school gymnasium para mag practice. Ayos na din naman 'yung stage at nandoon na 'yung equipment namin. We just have to perform perfectly tonight para maraming mag follow sa amin.

We need enough followers and exposure to push through our second album concert. Actually, wala pa nga kaming nasusulat na kanta eh. We're planning 5 songs pero wala kaming inspiration. Busy rin kasi kami sa acads kaya hindi pa kami makabuo ng kanta. Pero may melody naman na kami pero baka mabago pa.

"Hello everyone! We are Bloodthirst," Sabay sabay naming sabi sa sariling mga mic. May ibang pumalakpak at ang iba naman ay nakinig lang. I was slightly nervous pero kailangan ko 'to gawin as the band's lead vocalist, guitarist, and their leader.

"To those who don't know us. I am Ravi, and those three are my musketeers," I joked and some of the people laughed. Ginawa ko 'yon to lift up their spirits. I want them to have fun and be entertained sa amin.

The three of them introduced themselves before I spoke again. "Bago kami mag simula, follow niyo muna kami sa social media," I smiled. Marami naman tumili at alam ko naman na gwapo ako. That's what the girls love about me. My smile.

We performed normally and they all were enjoying it. I wasn't expecting that they'll love us kasi medyo baguhan pa rin naman kami eh.

I was scanning the crowd looking for Aurelia when I saw her sitting at the front. Did she know that we were performing today and took the first seats? I grinned before singing harder, enjoying every single moment. Pasikat ako eh, pero 'yung atensyon lang niya ang gusto ko.

After the first song, uminom muna kami ng tubig. I need to stay hydrated para naman hindi ako mapaos, kailangan ko kasi ang boses ko ngayong buwan. Marami kaming planned bookings at sayang 'yon kung paos ako.

"Secrets I have held in my heart are harder to hide than I thought. Maybe I just wanna be yours, I wanna be yours." I met up with her gaze again pero ngayon hindi ko tinanggal ito. It's like we both are having a staring contest at unti unting lumiliit ang mundo ko.

Na parang kaming dalawa lang ang naririto at ang kinakantahan ko ay siya lang.

After we got off the stage, hinanap ko si Lia. Some part of me wanted to talk to her and you know flirt with her. I'm attracted to her and my friends noticed that. Pero ang problema ko ay si Zach din ay gusto rin si Lia. I have to fight for what will be mine.

She's mine.

I saw her walking inside the library, muntikan pa nga siya matumba kanina eh. Was she drunk again? She must love drinking huh? Parehas ba kami na may bisyo? Imposible naman ata 'yon, she's a doctor. Alam ko na hindi siya ganoong ka-careless.

I saw her resting her eyes at the end of the library. Malamigi dito and this is probably her natural habitat. If ever na puntahan ko siya dito, alam kong dito siya magsstay.

Naramdaman niya siguro ako dahil bigla siyang tumayo and got pepper spray, agad ko naman tinaas ang aking kamay. I hate pepper sprays! Masakit sa mata at matagal bago mawala ang hapdi, I don't want that.

"Woah, easy girl. I'm here for no harm," I assured her. Dahan dahan niyang ibinaba 'yung pepper spray at inilagay ito sa loob ng bag niya. That was a sign that I'm safe at hindi niya na 'ko masasaktan. Unless sakalin niya ako e'di patay ako.

"You know, you should be less feisty," I told her at kumunot naman ang noo niya. Natawa naman ako sa kanya at tinitigan niya lang ang aking ngiti. Her stares makes me weak, baka kasi mamaya halikan ko siya d'yan pag di ko napigilan ang sarili ko eh.

"Alam mo, nakakainis ka. Ilang araw na kita hindi matanggal sa utak ko." I

My lips formed a smirk as my brows shot up, I was amused. Ang dami talagang nagagawa ng alak sa isang tao 'no? Nagiging honest masyado.

"So... you're thinking about me all week and it's my fault? Wow, you're really impossible," I laughed before swiftly placing my hand on the other chair, not taking my eyes off of her.

Napansin ko na nanginginig na siya sa lamig kaya isinuot ko sa kanya ang jacket na suot ko. Kinuha ko naman ang phone ko at kinuhanan siya ng litrato. She's still pretty even though she's drunk.

"Don't take pictures of me without my consent!" She shouted at bumuntong hininga naman ako. Why is she pissed at me? As far as I know, I didn't do anything to her or her friends.

"Why are you so mad? Wala naman akong ginawa ah?"

"Wala kang ginawa sa akin but to others, maybe," Kinuha niya ang cellphone at pinabasa sa akin 'yung nakalagay sa cellphone niya.

I scoffed.

Those are the rumors that grounded me for about a month! Hindi ko alam kung bakit ang daming taong nagkakalat pa rin ng ganyan eh hindi naman nila alam kung ano ang totoong nangyari!

Sa totoo lang ako 'yung victim eh, that fucking girl who spreaded those rumors used me for her own good which is so absurd. That's why sometimes I hate social media, because they'll want to know every single thing that happens in and out of your personal life.

Bago ko pa sigawan si Lia para depensahan ang sarili, bumukas ang pinto, "Ravi! Let's go dude, we're leaving," Tawag sa'kin ni Shawn.

Binilisan ko ang paglalakad at bago ako lumabas ng silid, I spoke.

"Those rumors died 6 months ago. Don't judge me too quickly, because you don't know me."

I take it back. I don't like her anymore, she pisses me off and is not good for me! Fuck her, I hate her.

Habang pabalik kami sa studio, kinuha ni Harvey 'yung phone ko at may ginawa roon.

"I know na ginalit ka ni Lia pero ikalma mo muna ang sarili mo. you two don't know each other pa so please, don't hurt her," Harvey sighed. "I also followed her on IG on your account. Pag binawi mo 'yun tatanggalin ka namin sa banda."

I rolled my eyes, wala naman akong magagawa 'di ba?

I was about to close my eyes pero ramdam ko ang sama ng tingin ni Zach sa akin. I hate girl problems, bakit kasi naattract pa ako kay Lia? Damn it!

Fuck my life.

"Wait so, gusto mo si bar girl? What's her name?" Tanong sa akin ni Harvey and I shrugged. Kanina pa kasi siya tanong ng tanong tungkol sa babaeng kinaiinisan ko.

"Aurelia," I answered. "Hindi ko din alam kung ano ang nararamdaman ko sa kanya... it's just something about her that intrigues me." Tumango tango naman si Harvey bago umiwas ng tingin, tinaas ko naman siya ng kilay.

"Why? Do you fucking like her?" I asked with gritted teeth at agad naman niya itinaas ang kamay niya habang nakatingin sa akin.

"What?! No bro! Si Zach kausapin mo tungkol d'yan. He likes Aurelia and he's sure of it," He informed me at hindi ko alam kung bakit pero tumaas ang aking balahibo bago tumayo at pinuntahan si Zach sa kabilang kwarto. I gripped on his collar and punched him.

Napahiga naman siya sa sakit and I picked up a wine glass and shattered it. As I was about to charge to Zach, humarang si Harvey at siya ang nasugatan ko. Agad naman ako natauhan bago ibato palayo 'yung hawak kong bubog.

"Okay ka lang ba? Shit! You're bleeding," I pointed out and he chuckled sarcastically before getting his things.

"I'm going to go to Lia and I'll tell her to accept our follow requests. Tapos ikaw, tanungin mo kung kailan mo makukuha 'yung jacket mo," Harvey said before exiting my place. Huminga ako ng malalim at tinapunan ng tingin si Zach but he was also glaring at me.

Umiwas na lang ako sa kanya at umakyat sa aking kwarto. I was staring at the ceiling while thinking of her. Damn it, you're just a fucking stranger, bakit affected ako masyado?

Aurelia Zein Alcantara.

"Hmm mmm na na na..." I started singing a few notes. "Stranger... I'm wondering what you are doing?" I sang broken lyrics.

Holy shit! I just found a melody for a song. This is great, we're finally going to finish a new album for our comeback. I got up and reached for my guitar and strummed a few possible chords.

Natigil ang pagigitara ko nang umilaw ang cellphone ko. At noong tiningnan ko 'yon, it was an IG notification at finally, in-accept na 'ko ni Lia.

Ibinaba ko naman ang gitara sa stand before stalking her Instagram. Konti lang ang post niya, usually her laptop and med school books at a café. Nag post naman siya sa story niya and I clicked on it.

It was a selfie of her doing her skin care. I smiled before taking a screenshot of her. I added the photo at the library I made. I took photos of her when she was drunk hahaha.

I decided to DM her before going down to the living room. Nandoon pa rin sila and they looked frustrated. Zach was holding an ice pack on his right side of his face while Harvey had bandages all over his fist.

"Zach, I'm sorry," I said before sitting down next to Shawn.

"So, I have a melody... figured I could use some help for the lyrics," I told them before letting them hear the melody I created. Agad naman sila sumaya bago nag isip ng lyrics.

I was repeating the chords para makatulong sa kanila mag isip ng lyrics when my phone vibrated.

@aurelia_: when do you want it?

I stifled a smile before typing a reply. I can hear her voice while reading her DM.

@ravicrtz: pag ba sinabi ko ngayon, would you give it?

@aurelia_: pwede naman, basta ikaw pupunta dito.

@ravicrtz: sure, i know your address. i can be there in 10.

I smirked, hindi niya alam na ako ang nag hatid sa kanya pauwi sa kanila.

"What the fuck, bro? Kinikilig si Ravi?" 'Di makapaniwalang sambit ni Harvey at inismiran ko naman siya.

"Side effects pala 'yan ng chat ni Aurelia," Biro ni Shawn.

@ravicrtz: just meet me tomorrow at a café. i'll send you the details.

@aurelia_: are you asking me out?

@ravicrtz: i just need the jacket.

@aurelia_: may pasok ako, ikaw mag adjust.

@ravicrtz: ok.

I bit my lip before getting my guitar again. Lia, you're making me so fucking crazy.

"Dapat hindi ka uminom pag alam mong hindi mo kaya," I scolded her at kumunot lang ang noo niya. Paano kasi, pupunta na lang dito lasing pa! Doctor nga siya pero ang hilig sa alak. Every time I see her she's intoxicated but still pretty.

"Ano bang pakialam mo? I can drink whenever I can! You're not my boyfriend, Ravi," Inirapan niya ako and I sighed because I was getting frustrated. I caught her in my arms again dahil muntikan na siyang matumba.

This girl loves drinking alcohol pero hindi kaya ang sarili amputa.

"Aray! Dahan dahan lang, masakit kaya," Reklamo niya pa. Ipinasok ko siya sa passenger seat dahil alam kong hindi niya maiuuwi ang sarili niya.

"Alam mo, tuwing magkikita tayo lasing ka, kung hindi lasing, tipsy." I told her and she scoffed but passed out. I took a photo of her before driving her to her house.

When I knocked on their door, kinabahan ako bigla dahil mukhang tatay niya ang sumalubong sa amin. "I took her home po, Sir. I believe she drank with her friends, Eve and Ryssi," I formally said at kinuha niya si Lia sa akin bago ako kwestiyonin.

"Are you her boyfriend?" Tanong nito and I shook my head.

"No po. Nagkita po kasi kami kanina because she had to return the jacket I lent her, but she was drunk," I told her Father at tumango ito.

"Thank you for taking home my daughter in one piece, take a close look at her okay?" He raised a brow and I nodded before leaving their residence.

I sighed, second time I'm taking her home wasted. I just hope that there won't be a third..

I parked my car down the street and when I was walking up to the restaurant, nakita ko si Lia na may hawak na bata sa kanyang braso. Nagmadali naman akong lumapit sa kanila at binuhat 'yung bata papasok sa loob.

Ginamot ni Lia ang bata and while I was staring at her, I could see that her smile was so genuine. It's like she is so determined in becoming a Doctor. She was so good with handling a child. She even looks like the future mother of my kids.

I already did research and she doesn't have a boyfriend. That's good.

We were talking seriously and she opened up a topic to me, and when I was about to give my thoughts about it... she crossed the line. "They must be mad that you didn't take their path hmm? Nahirapan din siguro sila dahil matigas ang ulo mo, how did they even take it when they found out that their son was a walking heartbreak—"

"Well fuck you," I spatted. Hindi ko na kayang hindi magsalita dahil sa kondisyon ko, I was mad at myself kasi tama siya. I'm a fucking disappointmen sa parents ko. Sobrang dami ko nang kahihiyang ginawa at napapahiya lagi ang magulang ko dahil sa akin.

"You're just a narcissist that thinks the world revolves around her. You only think of yourself and not how your words could hurt people," I said with anger and I reached for the vase and broke it. Nagulat naman siya at napaiwas sa akin.

As much as I want to not shout, I can't control myself. It's like when I get so mad or pissed, the devil inside me unleashes itself. I really need to get some help. After the fight, I paid for the damages I caused before going back to the studio.

Nakita ko silang tatlo na nakaupo doon at mukhang naguusap. Pumasok ako sa recording room and I shouted. "FUUUUUCK!" I gasp before trying to calm myself down. Flashbacks of what Dad used to say to me.

"You're a mess! A fucking disgrace to our family, you know that right?"

Kinuha ko ang isang gitara at binalibag sa lapag. It broke and I also kicked Harvey's drum set before sitting on the ground. I frustratedly gripped on my hair as the tears slowly flowed down my eyes.

"Wala kang mapapatunayan sa'kin sa putanginang passion mo na 'yan."

I got up and got my jacket before leaving the room. I drove off to the abandoned airport and when I arrived, lumabas ako agad at binitawan lahat ng hawak ko sabay sigaw.

"PUTANG INANG BUHAY 'TO!"

Nagbadya na naman ang luha ko at napaluhod naman na ako, pagod na 'ko tangina.

Pero bigla namang pumasok sa isip ko si Lia. Even though she pissed me off, I still want her. 'Yung tipong pag tinanong ako kung gusto ko ng babae ay tatanggi ako agad at sasabihin na kung hindi si Lia, hindi ako magmamahal.

Ngayon lang ako naging ganto.

"Let's start over. I'm something more than those rumors, Lia. I think we could be friends."

This is the first time I actually told someone what I want.

Hanging out with Lia felt so surreal, na parang nasasabi ko sa sarili ko na masaya ako. Kapag kasama ko siya ay hindi ko na kailangan ng atensyon ng ibang tao. Na parang kaya kong bitiwan lahat ng pinaghirapan ko ngayon kung si Lia naman ang kapalit.

While we were onstage, I was actually having fun playing for the crowd because she was there watching us. But it bothered me when she left while the show was ongoing. But maybe it's from her work so I didn't overthink it too much.

Nasa birthday party kami ng kuya ni Lia and I was nervous because I got to see her parents. I have to leave a good first impression sa kanila para kapag nalaman nila na gusto kong maging girlfriend si Lia ay okay lang sa kanila.

I was actually planning on telling her that I like her for a month now but when I was holding the flower in my hands... my eyes saw something that I shouldn't have seen. She was slow dancing with... Gabe. My heart shattered but I was also mad because I actually thought that I had a chance with her.

"Fucking hell," I cursed under my breath and I was about to go inside when someone pulled me. Nagulat na lang ako ng bigla niya akong halikan sa aking labi. Hindi ako siya matulak! What the fuck?

Hinila ni Shawn ang babae mula sa akin and I could tell that she's drunk. Pinagpag ko ang damit ko bago nagsimulang maglakad palayo. I just want to go home and forget what I saw tonight.

"I have asthma," She told me at tiningnan ko lang siya ng walang gana. Kanina pa kasi niyang tinatry na makipag ayos sa akin but I wasn't mad. Hindi lang buo ang mga thoughts sa utak ko kaya maaring hindi niya ako makausap ng maayos.

"Uhuh, and why didn't you tell me?"

"Kasi gusto kitang makausap ng maayos, what's wrong, Ravi?"She asked and I sighed before pulling a chair for her to sit in.

"Hindi mo 'ko kailangan kausapin, wala tayong kailangan sa isa't isa," I lied. I needed her every time I can't contain my emotions to myself. She's a necessity to me and I can't get my hands on her because she's too far.

"I still want to get to know you more though," Lia pouted. "Please?"

Tangina, hindi ko kayang tanggihan ang ganyang ka-cute na mukha. I sighed defeatedly, "We'll talk later."

"Bakit kayo magkagalit ni Gabe?"

Huh, typical. I was already expecting na itatanong niya 'yan sa akin. Alam ko naman kasi na dati pang curious si Lia sa nangyari sa aming dalawani Gabe. Well it was over years ago but he swept my girlfriend from me. We were fucking together noon pero kinuha 'yon ng tanginang Kuya ni Shawn.

Pero dahil wala na akong magagawa dahil sila na ni Gabe ay kailangan ko na lang pigilan ang sarili ko na mas lalong mahalin siya.

Malapit na ang birthday ang concert ko and I thought it was going to be fun and for once going to like celebrating my birthday but I found out some bad news.

"What?! Lia's gone to Japan?"

Agad naman ako nalungkot at muntik pang maiyak. "Tangina bakit kasi kailangan mo pang umalis bago mag birthday ko?" I cursed under my breath before putting down the guitar I was holding.

I left our studio and went to Gabe's house, alam naman niya na malapit na birthday ko! Bakit hindi niya pinigilan si Lia umalis, what the fuck?

I knocked on their door aggressively at nagpakita si Gabe na may hawak na libro. Pumasok siya ulit sa bahay leaving the door open, inviting me to go inside.

"What are you doing here, Raizen?" He asked and I cringed because he called me by my first name. It's so weird hearing it lalo na't 'yung ex ko lang ang tumawag sa'kin no'n.

"I'm here to tell you that I like your girlfriend and that I'm picking her up from Japan the day before my birthday," I said in a monotone and he wasn't even surprised when he looked at me. He just stared at my face bluntly before chuckling sarcastically.

"You finally decided to be honest with yourself, huh?" He said after a long silence. "Dati ko pang alam, and it hurts because I know that she feels something for you too. She's just afraid to admit it to herself because she is in a relationship," He rolled his eyes at tumaas naman kilay ko.

Lia feels something for me too?

That's impossible, hindi naman gano'n si Lia eh. Mukhang genuine ang pagmamahal niya kay Gabe.

"Whatever. Basta susunduin ko siya," I said in a stern voice.

"If you try to tell her how you feel and she feels the same way towards you, ako na lalayo. Pang bawi lang dahil sa kagaguhang ginawa ko noon," He told me and I nodded before leaving.

Natuloy naman ang plano ko na sunduin si Lia from Japan. She was so pretty pero ang kaso lang, nalaman ko din na boyfriend ng Ate ko ang Kuya niya. Ang hirap naman no'n na ang magkapatid ay nahulog din sa magkapatid.

"Happy birthday, Rav. Sana ako ang unang bumati sa'yo ngayong araw."

Siya nga ang unang bumati sa'kin ngayong araw. Ang pinaka importanteng babae sa aking buhay.

"Gabe, Kuya Cole, inom tayo!"

Celebration ngayon ng birthday ko kaya nag aya ako ng inom. Buti nga ininclude ko pa si Gabe sa pag inom dahil alam kong part na siya ng buhay ni Lia. Kahit naman na gusto ko siya boyfriend niya 'yon ay ibig sabihin na dapat akong lumayo sa kanya.

I know that Gabe was an asshole but it was all in the past. Nawala na rin naman ang galit ko kaya kumportable na ako ulit sa presensya niya. Masaya din kasi ako na pwede ko pa ring mahalin si Lia sa malayo.

"So, kumusta ang acads niyo?" Tanong bigla ni Kuya Cole at tumawa kaming lahat. Hindi ako kasing talino ni Lia na kayang gawing uno lahat ng grades pero kaya kong itaas ang grado ko. Wala rin akong mga sabit kaya masasabi kong I'm an average student.

"Wala ba kayong mga sikreto? Alam ko na may beef kayong dalawa, Ravi and Gabe, hmm?" Kuya Cole raised a brow. Umiling lang naman kaming dalawa ni Gabe.

"Hindi naman na kami magka-away ngayon, especially when I know that Ravi likes my girlfriend," Gabe grinned at muntikan ko na mabuga ang iniinom kong beer. Nanlaki naman mata ni Kuya Cole.

"What the fuck, he knows?" Harvey asked and I sighed before nodding.

"Well that's unfortunate. Why do you like my sister, Ravi?"

Napaisip naman ako, why do I like her? Is it something about her smile? The way she laughs? How there's something more than her being feisty.

"Walang sapat na sagot para sa tanong na 'yan. Nagbabago, nadadagdagan ang mga rason kung bakit nagustuhan ko siya tuwing magkasama kami. But if I have to give you an answer right now, it's because she is her. She inspires me to become who I am right now. She helps me become the best version of myself," I smiled while thinking of her. Sobrang lala na ng tama ko sa kanya.

"Damn, Gabe ano naman ang reaction mo d'yan?" Zach asked at nagkibit balikat siya rito.

"I love Lia. I love her so damn much. But I can see that she has this uncertain feeling when it comes to Ravi. So if the time comes that she tells me that she wants Ravi instead of me... I'll respect her decision," Sagot nito ng may malungkot na itsura.

"Balik tayo kay Ravi," Shawn said before handing me another shot. Feeling ko lasing na ako pero kaya ko pa. I enjoy sitting down with the boys, they are fun to be with. "Kung may difference ang like at love para sa'yo... what do you love about Lia?"

I know exactly what my answer is, "I love the way she makes me feel. Everything feels so real when I'm with her."

Lia became our manager. But everything kinda went downhill because I started to distance myself from her. I don't want to be the one that breaks her relationship. I knew that if I stayed too close to her... I won't be able to control myself anymore.

I want her. I want her to be mine so fucking badly.

But she doesn't want me at all.

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:(