Chapter Twelve : The Book

Crown Princess Amalia Says She Was Closer to Her Maternal Uncle Than to Her Father, Prince Charles

It's no secret that the transition from movie star to British royal to Crown Princess Amalia of Herraden couldn't have been easy on Princess Amalia, but a new book reveals just how difficult it was for the whole family to stay close.

Princess Amalia, the daughter of Diana and Prince Charles, were interviewed for Princess Amalia, the Hollywood beauty and the Princess, published in honor of Princess Amalia 30th birthday. In it, Princess Amalia reveals: "For me, Charles [Spencer, maternal uncle] was the key figure in my life. When I was little, I was probably closer to my uncle than to my father.”

According to People, the young royal would cry and beg Earl Spencer not to leave her every summer when she went on vacation with the British royal family. "I waa sad for days," says Princess Amalia. "Most often than not, my father would end up calling him to ask him to come get me earlier than planned.”

Perhaps part of the reason Earl Spencer was so beloved was his creativity; in the book, he reveals that one night, when Diana and Prince Charles were away at a wedding, he threw his own mini-gala for the kids. “I decided that we would have our own gala dinner at the Palace,” Charles Spencer says. “The chef cooked a special menu, Amalia wore one of her mother’s gown, Harry and William wore uniforms, and I wore a gown too. Then we put on music, and we danced.” Um, can you be my uncle?

According to the Daily Mail, Prince Charles and Amalia didn't even have dinners together until she was 16.

Amalia also revealed why she has taken on more Herraden royal dutiea than British royal duties.

"Some members of my paternal family view as a robot to do what they tell me to donamd for me to sit there and take it." Amalia says. "I'm married to a future king clearly he married because he sees that I will make a great queen so why would I allow myself to be treated like a robot. No one will dictate what I can do and when I can do it." Amalia says.

The life of a princess was assumed by the mass public to be a royal fairy tale, but the jarring reality was revealed to be very far from that.

Amalia definitely is her mother's child as she would break several royal rules and etiquettes

Remember when Diana break major etiquette when she ate in the kitchen.

It was against royal family etiquette to eat in the kitchen with staffers and not in a dining room, but Princess Diana was no stranger to breaking protocol. Her personal chef, Darren McGrady, said she would just walk into the kitchen and eat at a countertop while he tidied up, which was unheard of coming from any royal. She would even make coffee for the two of them.

Amalia also revealed that she tried to commit suicide.

One of the most troubling revelations is that she struggled with depression and even attempted to take her own life. She said, “I was so depressed, and I was trying to cut my wrists with razor blades.” She also said, "My father and I do not get along. He tries to control my life. That's why I secretly got married without family there. I don't think he and I will ever be as close as he and my brothers are. I guess I'm too much like my mother for him."

The Queen's and Amalia’s ideals as to what becoming princess meant would crumble and fall to the ground. Amalia realised she wasn't just born in a union bound by unconditional love, but one of apparent convenience and show. And after Amalia repeatedly went running to the Queen to express her dismay, Elizabeth learned the princess had no idea that she was playing a role.

When the world clamored to be part of Amalia-palooza, the Queen and her circle were thrown for a loop. Any time Elizabeth attempted to rein in her grand-daughter and show her the royal ways, Amalia would end up stealing the limelight.

Amalia says, "The purpose of this book is not to bash the royal family but it help them learn from their mistakes. They do not realize the harm they cause to members of this family when they try to control everyone, for what? An image."

The Queen wanted nothing more than for Amalia to fulfil her royal duties, and that’s what ended up happening... in a sense. The royal family has always been heavily involved in charitable endeavours, and Amalia followed suit, though in a way no royal had ever done before – by making a point of advocating causes that are largely taboo.

"Three minutes and six seconds. That is all it takes to change the course of a life, my life. No matter what people believe about fate I was never one to fall for it. I knew that I could change the course of my future that nothing was set in stone. I could etch and chisel away at the solid foundation and still change it into a beautiful life, one of my own making. In the attempts of breaking through those confining walls my birth right surrounded me with, I came to the realization that my life would never be normal. That my life would be the center of attention for the whole world to see. To see every faltering step, every mistake, every time I had my heart broken. This is my life." Amalia says.

"There comes a time in life where you find yourself at a fork in the road, two paths. One continuing on the road you have always been and one that is undiscovered. The choice is up to you. It always has been, because you have the power to change your situation by changing yourself, changing the path that you are on. Our life is made up by a series of choices. Sometimes we make ourselves walk down the path of mistakes, but that is how we learn, that is how we grow. We can always change course, as our future is not written by the mistakes of our past. At any given moment, you have the power to say this is not how your story is going to end. Write each chapter, write your unwritten story and do not let anyone else hold the pen. You are what determines your future, no one else. So now I look back over my shoulder as I walk down this path. Flipping through the pages of my life that I have written and found where I took control of the pen and changed what it meant to be a spare. I did not choose to go on the two paths laid out before me by my birthright. I created one." Amalia says.

That was the start of her rebellion, what people would call the fuel to the fire that caused a series of the young princess acting out. She started to not care what people thought of her and broke protocol on nearly every engagement. Amalia spoke up when she thought an issue, even a political one, needed a platform. She condemned certain acts of politicians that landed her in sea of hot water, but nothing the Queen or the royal family could do to stop Amalia. The princess supported unlikely charities and foundations that royals before hand would stay away from as it stepped too closely to political views.

She became a personable princess that the people of England loved how natural and caring she displayed herself as and that threatened the Queen more than she liked. In the midst of people trying to paint a picture of the princess they wanted her to be, Amalia instead changed the canvas and made her own masterpiece changing along the way, what a spare was meant to be.

That was the path that she created.

Amalia's Heartbreaking Struggle with Infertility: 'I've Had Four Miscarriages'

Amalia has revealed she’s suffered multiple miscarriages in an attempt to have a much-longed-for baby with husband Crown Prince Miguel.

In her book— the princess opens up about her struggles with infertility and failed IVF treatments.

“I have had four miscarriages, For three years, my body has been a prisoner of trying to get pregnant — I’ve either been about to go into an IVF cycle, in the middle of an IVF cycle, or coming out of an IVF cycle.”

While Amalia has spoken about IVF previously, she did not reveal the heartbreaking struggle she has faced.

But even after enduring three years of failed IVF cycles and being constantly bloated from the hormones, Amalia says that she and Miguel “remain bursting with love and ready to do anything to meet the child we’ve both dreamed of.”

Dealing with infertility while being in the public eye hasn’t been easy for Amalia, who constantly is reminded of her struggle each time she’s asked by both family and strangers alike when she’s having kids.

“For so many women, and not just women in the spotlight, people feel very entitled to know, ‘Do you want kids?'” she says. “A lot of people, especially people that have fertility issues, just say ‘no’ because that’s a lot easier than being honest about whatever is actually going on. People mean so well, but they have no idea the harm or frustration it can cause. Especially family members."

“Once a month I look like I’m in my second trimester because I’m bloated,” she says. “It leads to the questions and it leads to the rumors and anytime I go into a doctor’s office I feel like I’m a member of SEAL Team Six undercover because I don’t want people to speculate.”

Now that Amalia is in her 30s, her chances of getting pregnant are getting slimmer, because, biologically, every woman has a set number of eggs. This number declines as we age, and it can become much harder to conceive.

“My wife is one strong individual!” Crown Prince Miguel says.

Amalia and Miguel tied the knot in April 2008.

Six months after suffering a miscarriage, Crown Princess Amalia and her husband, Crown Prince Miguel, announced that they're expecting a rainbow baby in December 2018. To announce the baby, Amalia posted a sweet photo of her small baby bump.

"We would like to share our love and happiness. We have been blessed," she wrote. "We are incredibly grateful that our family will be growing by one, and we thank you for your well wishes. — Crown Royal Couple of Herraden."