"Am I a murderer?" I asked with my eyes closed. I want to know the answer but I couldn't bear to see the answer come out of her lips. 

"Do you think you're a murderer?" she asked, she pushed away some strands of my hair that were obstructing my face.

"No." I frowned and looked at the granite floor.

"Did you ever encounter yourself stabbing someone or shooting them?" she asked while rubbing my back to calm me down.

"No" I stated.

"Then why are you overthinking? If you know you're not like that, why would you let yourself believe it, right?" she gave a bright smile and thought to myself, she's right how could a little scenario keep me up at night and kill my thoughts out? Maybe, this isn't the right time. But, I'm extremely sure that I am not a murderer, I can't even hurt a fly. They just don't know me.

"Tell you what, let's do some sword fighting to loosen you up!" she added.

•••

"Here use this" she threw a katana at me. 

"Hey!" I shouted. Good thing I didn't caught the blade. 

"What!? Are you gonna go around carrying a sword with a bag around you?" she replied. 

"Oh yeah." I threw my backpack on the ground and try to hold the katana properly.

We'll only stop your training if I see any progress" she replied nonchalantly. 

•••

"First things first. You shouldn't go full on rage, don't let the fight get in your head. Don't let anger take over you because you wouldn't make a good move to attack them if you go into a full rage and it'll be much easier to attack you since all you do is attack and attack that you stopped defending yourself. You're not a shield so be very observant with the opponent's attack" 

"What if they're a lot? How could I defend myself then?" I asked. 

"Deal with one issue at a time." 

"Alright" 

"Ok, let's begin. Punch me!" she said then pushed me on my shoulders lightly. 

"What?!" I'm confused. 

"PUNCH ME!" she said then pushed me on my shoulders again but harshly that I almost fall from where I was standing. 

"Here goes nothing!" I muttered. 

I swoop my fist to her face, unfortunately, she held my fist then chuckled, suddenly she swoop her fist on my face, good thing I dodged it.

"Not bad." she chuckled. 

"You never know what strike is going to knock someone out, so if it's clear that you're in danger, don't wait for them to hit you. If they do strike first, it's OK to flinch, but don't turn away from the action. Also, don't pull anything fancy. It's a major fallacy that there are points where you can hit a guy that will automatically knock him out. Some people might have severe pain tolerances. Some people might just be whacked out. Once the flinch reflex has passed, go forward and start hitting, immediately. Overwhelming force is normally going to win the day. You want to land as many strikes as possible, whether they're headbutts, punches, elbows, knees, or whatever your instincts tell you to do. You can think about knocking on a door, only in an aggressive way. Don't stop hitting until you're sure the threat is neutralized and you feel that you can get away safely. The last thing you want to do is stop striking and go back to square one." she explained. 

"Again!" she exclaimed. 

She threw a fist at my jaw but I held it tightly that I know it'll hurt her, I extended my fist so close to her face but I stopped. I'm not gonna hit her I'm not that bad. But she smirked and hit me in the stomach, I immediately punched her back and avoided her left fist that was about to land on my jaw then sweep kick her feet so she will loose her balance gladly she fell. I extended my fist again but it didn't land it directly to her face then avoided both of her fists then smirked but she strangled me with her legs, now she's on top of me I was ready for a punch in the face or jaw or any parts of my body but she just chuckled and got off me. 

"I missed doing this! Let's do this tomorrow okay? Do you watch boxing, MMA or WWE? Because you have strong moves, you're not a wimp like the others. They're right." she asked. 

"Nope, they're? What did they tell you and who?" I curiously asked. 

"I-I" I cut her off, "I could never get an answer, don't I? All I get is more question. I'm so sick of it! Everything is going bonkers!" I didn't mean to rude it was just the heat of the moment.

"It's just --ugh, nevermind." she replied and her face turned annoyed. 

"Just?" I asked with a confused face.

"I SAID NEVERMIND CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT? YOU HAVE A LOT OF QUESTION! CAN'T YOU STOP? BEING CLUELESS IS MUCH BETTER THAN WORRYING TOO MUCH TO WHAT YOU KNOW! I KNOW YOU'RE CURIOUS BUT CAN'T YOU JUST LET THEM GO? AND FOCUS ON WHAT'S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?! I AM SICK OF ALL THE DAMN QUESTION! IF I COULD TELL YOU I WOULD BUT UNFORTUNATELY, I COULDN'T NOW STOP" she yelled. 

"Okay, you don't need to shout. I just wanted some answers." I whispered. 

I run away to go back to the castle, I don't like it when people shout at me especially when they're not my parents. I took a glance at her and I see tears falling from her eyes. 

Why can't they tell me? Am I not worthy of an answer? It's so annoying and why did I suddenly felt guilty when I saw tears from her eyes.  I feel some connection with her. What is wrong with me?! I wondered who told her about me I hope I know who they are. I have a lot of question but whenever one get answered a thousand more questions opened. 

"Maybe you should just kill yourself." a familiar voice muttered. 

a/n : Thank you so much for 231 views! It really means a lot to me. I'm sorry if I haven't updated any of my books for awhile. BTW, I'm sooooo addicted to Trevor Moran right now, he's so nice even though his mouth could make a sailor blush. I still love him. Enough of me, hope you enjoy this chapter :*