I'm so sorry for falling of the metaphorical map. I've just had no time to write anything. Hopefully, I'll have more time soon seeing that crew is coming to an end.

Anyhooo, I'd like to establish a little order to the mess of this writing. So um yeah. I'd like to start every chapter with a quote that can be whatever and end it with a mental health check in. Sounds good? I need to organize my life.

Quote of the day: "You hate your pulse because it thinks you're still alive" -Be Calm, fun.

Today, I'd like to talk a little bit about my gender identity and how I'm in that zone of everything feels a little weird to me.

Like, I never want to be someone's . . .

 . . . daughter

. . . sister

. . .  mother

. . . girlfriend

. . . best girl friend

ect.

But, I can't understand how I would ever be someone's:

. . .  child

. . . sibling

. . .  parent

. . .  datemate/partner

. . . best friend

ect.

I want these titles with no binary gender attached.

I know that I don't want to be someone's:

. . . son

. . . brother

. . . father

. . . boyfriend

. . . best boyfriend

ect.

Why don't I want those middle titles? I don't know, they just feel right.

I always found gender a little weird. I used to hate myself for not being feminine enough and even more for not being masculine enough either. But what I hated the most was that I didn't want to be either. I never liked being different, I don't want to be different. I'm in too many minorities to enjoy any of it anymore. But now, I guess there's nothing I can do. I just am this way and everyone else can very kindly fuck off if they're gonna make me feel bad about it.

So, they/them pronouns please and I won't bash your head if mess on accident. I will if you do it on purpose. *laughs innocently*

Mental Health Check In: Marginally less stressed but still highly depressed. Been super tired and empty recently and been finding it hard to smile genuinely. Oh well, it's normal.

Okay, that's it. I'm done, bi.

-SoftxRacoon