My parenting style has been called 'irresponsible' at best and 'anarchist' at worst. Don't get me wrong, the minute I fell pregnant with my first son, I consumed every available publication on 'how to raise children'. I explored all the different philosophies and delved into masses of research papers and other statistical evidence.

Then I threw the lot out, keeping only one premise: Knowledge is power.

From a very young age, I did the opposite of everything I'd read. Instead of protecting and shielding, I encouraged daring and 'facing'. Instead of imposing boundaries and introducing rules and obeisance and punishment, I let them roam free from expectations and threats. I taught them negotiation rather than mindless retorts. I showed them how a lowered voice was more effective than a raised one. 

I exposed them to both the beauty and the horror of life. How could they appreciate the former without knowledge of and comparison to the latter?

I encouraged them to ask questions. I created a home environment where every question raised was answered honestly. I talked to them at every opportunity; seeking their opinions, welcoming their ideas and never once belittling their dreams or questioning their values.

Some said I raised them 'free-range', like the chickens I buy for their dinner. Funny how what was once natural has now become alternative...

Dylan, my oldest wandered into my room yesterday. He wanted to show me his latest 'github' stuff. He writes too, only in a different 'language'...

He saw the heading of the latest piece I was working on.

"Mum, as well as writing about all this other stuff, why don't you write a series about how to cope with becoming a grown-up?"

"What do you mean?"

"Advice for young people?"

"I'm pretty sure there's a "Growing Up For Dummies" book floating out there hon. And a ton of other similar ones?"

"Yeah but you're already doing it in some of your stories. Life lessons?"

"Hmmm... The demographics..."

"Why do you reckon over 55% of your audience is under 25?" (We'd both puzzled over these statistics initially.)

I'd wondered about this constantly, since. Why was this age-group connecting with me? I'd expected 'older' readers to identify with the bits and pieces I put out there, but it was the younger ones predominantly reading and at times discussing those works, both publicly and privately...

"See, real-life example stories are nicer to read than a bunch of professional boring stuff. And you tell people stories where there's always a message right?"

"It's not intentional... I mean I write about what I know - things we've done and said mostly. Or things I've seen and heard?"

He gave me an 'exactly, you've proven my point' look. Rather flattering, considering his only very recent interest in my work.

"So write a bunch of stories that will help teenagers with relevant things. Tell them what you told us!"

He had a point. However my parenting style was 'labeled', I'd produced two decent kids within it. At the risk of sounding boastful, I have to say I've never had a single instance of rebellion or any occasion where they 'misbehaved' in the traditional sense (or any other). The teenage years were, and continue to be, a glorious time of sharing moments, exchanging thoughts and ideas and yes, raising lots of interesting and oftentimes challenging questions.  

I have no idea where their lives will take them. Wherever it is though, I know some of these 'life lessons' will serve them well...