nine

Luke wraps his robe closer to his body as he leaves the en suite bathroom. He turns off the light and closes the door behind him—the moonlight from the ceiling window keeps him up. He walks over to the doors of their master bedroom, closing them mostly but keeping one open the slightest bit just in case Marshall needs them in the night.

He walks across their spacious bedroom, sitting on the end of the silk sheets and looking at his husband.

Matt was on his computer, his fingers flying across the keyboard as he typed up something.

"Honey, I think we need to talk," Luke said softly.

"I'm listening," Matty responded, half-listening.

Luke bit down on his freshly exfoliated lips, "Matt, we need to talk."

The curly-haired man sighed, pushing his computer to his side table and sitting up. He raised an eyebrow and spread out his hands, "Yes?"

Luke got closer, crossing his legs over one another. He looked down at his hands, picking at his fingernails. "You never pay attention to me."

"You know that's not true, I'm paying attention to you now."

"Wow, I'm sorry you decided to marry me and actually care about me. Congrats," he snapped.

Matty gets up on his knees, bringing a hand to Luke's cheek. "Babe, calm down."

Luke looks up at him, pouting out his lower lip. "I don't like when you're mean to me."

Matty looked at his husband, finding him too attractive. He leant in, trying to kiss Luke. His fingers felt like fire against Luke's cold skin, he used to keep Luke warm.

The blonde shook his head and leant back, "I'm trying to talk, Matt!"

"But you look so pretty."

"You can't just compliment me and expect me to fuck you!" Luke got off their bed, breathing heavy and on the verge of tears. "Talk to me!"

Matt sighed and sat back against the head of the bed. "I don't know why you're yelling, if you wanna talk then—."

"I know you're cheating on me! And it sucks! It sucks, Matty!" Luke yelled, knowing that Marshall couldn't hear him from the other side of the house.

Matty freezes, staring at the tattoos on his legs. He doesn't try to deny, he doesn't speak. He's breathing, Luke watches his slow breaths become more rapid as he looks up with glassed over brown eyes.

"Can we fix this?" Luke asks with a shaking voice, "Can we fix you and I?"

Matt nods as he starts to cry too. It's a rare thing to see either spouse cry, especially not at the same time. The last time Matty cried was the death of his mother. "We can fix this, I can fix this. I promise, Luke."

Luke sits back on his side of the bed, looking at his husband. "Is it me? Did I do something wrong?" He looks up with full-blown tears falling from his eyes and down his face.

Matty reaches over, grabbing Luke's hands and pulling him closer, "Fuck no, I'm just an idiot." Matt laid out his legs, pulling Luke into his lap.

"I'm so fucking angry at you," Luke said, wiping his tears. He leant into Matt's chest, the only comforting thing he could find in that room. "I want to punch you in the face."

Matt let out the smallest of laughs through the own tears pooling in his eyes, "I know you do."

"Do you remember high school?"

"Of course."

"Do you remember when we met?" Luke asked, looking up at his husband.

Matt nodded, "That was actually middle school. The last semester of choir."

"I hated you."

"I was annoying. I got moved next to you because I was annoying," Matty said. He made slow movements as he raised his hand and put it on Luke's back. He brought his hand up to Luke's neck and down to his back dimples.

"Then you became friends with my my friends and you kept hanging out with us and I hated you," Luke said, closing his eyes. Luke's tears fell onto Matt's tee-shirt and, holy shit, Matty wanted to punch himself in the face.

"But, finals week came around. It was just you and me at lunch, do you remember?" Matty asked, wanting to hear Luke's voice again.

"I do, I thought you were annoying and I hated you."

"When did you stop hating me?"

"You took me to prom four years later and took my virginity."

Matt laughed, "We were dating by then! You did not hate me that long!"

"I never hated you," Luke sighed, "I can't hate you. I love you too much." Luke was crying pretty hard again, his voice cracking and tears falling.

Matty talked more, trying to get him to stop. "I can't believe you lost your virginity in the back of my 1998 Honda."

"Virginity is a social construct, it's fake." Luke's voice was monotone as he made his comment.

"Yeah, you're right. It was kind of hot, though." Matt's hand slipped under Luke's robe, the skin of his hands pressed to the skin of Luke's back. "Do you remember getting high in the park and sleeping under the stars?"

"Of course."

"We were stupid."

"We were in love," Luke said quietly.

Matt tried to remember something good, something that would get Luke smiling. "What about college? You remember that, yeah?"

"I was too drunk half the time."

"You didn't even drink that much, you're just the biggest fucking lightweight."

Luke snorted, "Whatever."

"I'm serious! Remember freshman year Halloween? You were tipsy one second and blacked the fuck out the next!"

Luke could hear Matty laughing, he laughed too. He listened to Matt's heartbeat, not believing that it's the same heartbeat he's been listening to since they were 15-years-old.

"I had to carry you up 9 flights of stairs and it was awful."

"Are you calling freshman me fat?"

Matt shook his head with a smile, "You were like 80 pounds. But, you were 80 pounds of man who kept hitting on my back and yelling that you could walk yourself." Matt wrapped his arms around him, squeezing him into a hug. "I'd put you down and you'd fall down then refuse to move for ten minutes."

Luke laughed, a smile on his lips. "We almost got kicked out of the dorm."

"You were a terrible liar. Telling the RA that you had alcohol in your room, you idiot." Matt leant down, kissing the top of Luke's head, "I'm kidding."

"I know." Luke traced the tattoos up Matty's arm. His husband had to keep them covered up at work, Luke barely saw the ink. "Our wedding was kind of sad, but in a beautiful way."

"Mom was dying, we never got our wedding on a boat."

Luke shrugged, "The hospital room was fine, your mom was there. My parents were there, my siblings were there, your siblings were there. It was fine, it was perfect." Luke closed his eyes again. He was still able to see their wedding, never able to forget it.

"I'm so in love with you," Matty says, meaning it, "I'm sorry."

"I know you are."

Matty brings his hand up to Luke's head, brushing his hair from his eyes. "I wish Mom could've see Marshall brought into this world."

"You stood up too soon," Luke laughed, "you idiot."

Matty squeezes his eyes closed. During a c-section, nurses are supposed to give the spouse a signal when they're able to see their baby. Matt thought they did, stood up to see Luke's organs in bowls as they cleaned blood off of Luke.

"It looks like American Horror Story, Luke, you're lucky I didn't vomit on you." Matty squeezed Luke again, hugging him tightly and kissing the top of his head. "Now, we're here."

"Yeah," Luke repeats, "now, we're here."