eighteen

Marshall and Caleb are cuddled on the floor of Michael and Valerie's home. Valerie is up on the couch of their living room with Bea at her side, the two of them sharing a Spiderman-themed blanket. Michael is on the love seat opposite of the two, glancing up at the television playing Finding Nemo every few minutes.

He, too, was mesmerized by the children's movie.

"Daddy, can we get a fish?" Val asked quietly, knowing her friends wouldn't be angry for her speaking.

"No," he bluntly responds.

"Dwight and Jim won't eat it, I promise." Valerie has asked her father for more and more animals ever since they got their two cats a little bit back in time.

First it was another cat, then a dog, then a pony and a horse. It's been a snake and a lizard, scary reptiles only found in Australia, and now a fish.

"They're carnivores, they'll hunt that poor thing until they can eat it," Michael halfheartedly responds. His eyes are on his phone, mindlessly scrolling through social media posts as he awaits texts from the adult group.

Luke is supposed to tell Matty about the baby but Michael figures he's not going to.

"That's terrible," Val says sadly. She puts an arm around Dwight, who was sleeping a cushion above her.

Michael watched her brush her hands through the cats fur, smiling at how fragile his daughter was.

The best thing to happen to him was Valerie.

Luke sits on his side of the bed as Matty rests on the other. The Kardashians is mindlessly playing on the television in front of them.

Luke pulls up their golden cover closer to his chest. He looks up at Matty, watching him scroll through his phone. His thumbs begin to type up an email, his pale fingers fast on the glowing screen.

Matt looks down as he senses his husband staring at him. He gives him a soft smile and puts his phone to sleep, placing it on their bedside table. He crosses his hands on top of his hips and lets out a relaxed breath. "Hi, Baby."

"Hi," Luke says softly.

Matty reaches out his hand, booping Luke's curved nose. "What's up with you? You seem upset."

Luke rolled onto his back and brushed Matt's hand off of his face. "I'm not upset," he said, upsettingly.

Matt lets out a laugh. He scoots down and rolls onto his side, leaning his head on his hand and looking at Luke. "Come on, talk to me."

Luke licks over his lips as he takes in a rough breath. He can feel his jaw shaking and his mind going insane. "I don't know if I can."

Matty furrowed his eyebrows together and crooked his head to the right. "What do you mean?"

"Matty, I'm pregnant with your child." Luke blurts out the sentence as fast as he can, hoping that it's gonna hurt less.

"Oh," Matty responds in a monotone voice.

Luke turns to watch his husband sit up, staring at the wall behind Luke.

"Oh," he says again. "Oh, my God." He looks at Luke, his eyes trailing down his torso then back up to his eyes. "Oh, my God, Luke."

"I know," Luke swallows a lump in his throat, "I'm keeping it and raising it regardless of your position in our life." He recites the lines that group gave him. Luke has had this conversation going on in his head over and over and over again.

Matty runs a hand through his curls before dragging his hands down his face and rubbing his tired eyes. "I don't know what to say, I have no idea what to say." He slides out of bed, pausing before beginning his pacing around their master suite. Going from their closed bedroom doors back to their nightstand then back to the doors. "Luke, this isn't the right time for another child!"

"I don't control that!"

Matty is pacing faster and faster as he goes further around their spacious room. "My God, Luke, we're trying to work everything out between us! We can't add another child to that equation!"

"Don't yell at me."

"I'm not yelling!" Matty doesn't mean to come off as a rude, arrogant husband. He's stressed, that's all. "I don't know if I'm in love with you yet alone if I'm ready for another child!"

Luke looks up at him, the little pieces of broken heart left in him shaking with pain. "You don't if you're in love with me?" He repeats.

Matty stops his pacing and looks at the sad boy in bed. "No, no, no! That's not what I meant!"

"You're not in love with me," he says once more, this time a statement rather than a question. "You're not in love with me."

Matty shakes his head as tears fill up his eyes, "Luke, that's not what I said."

Luke's bottom lip is quavering as his breathing picks up. "I think you should get going, somewhere else just for tonight." He curls up with his knees to his chest and his back against the backboard.

"I do love you, Lu—."

"I want to be alone tonight," Luke says with tears in his eyes.

Matty looks at his husband then down at his toes. He turns around and looks behind him before looking back at Luke. "Okay." He leaves their house on a snowy night without his phone or wallet or even a pair of shoes.

He leaves the house with pain in his heart.

Group chat / Book Club

From / Luke

I told him and he left

Ashton was the first to read it. He was sitting in his living room alone, missing his daughter.

Group chat / Book Club

From / Ashton

omw over

Group chat / Book Club

From / Calum

I have gluten free brownies here I come

Michael laid in bed once he got the four enetengitc children to bed. He had Dwight spooned around the curve of Michael's legs while Jim lay on the opposite side of his full sized mattress.

He never felt alone.

All four kids were piled in the living room in their own sleeping bags. Valerie and Caleb shared a few blankets as Marshall and Bea shared a few more. The hallway light was on and Mike promised to wake them up with homemade waffles and pancakes. Michael prayed they'd all sleep through the night.

It wasn't much past midnight when Michael heard the pitter-patter of feet across the wood floor of his apartment. It was late and he was ready for bed.

He was never much of a party kid, but he can vaguely remember staying up until sunrise watching Netflix. Usually by himself, sometimes with friends.

He heard the foot stops come to a stop as a figure began climbing up his bed. He cursed every horror movie that's ever used this scene with some demon child replaced with Caleb's figure.

He couldn't help but jump as Caleb came to a stop in front of Michael.

"Bud? Is something wrong? Why aren't you asleep?"

Caleb gets under the sheets without a word. He pulls the galaxy print blanket up to his shoulders and cuddles into Michael's pillow.

Mike lays back down, giving him a few inches of room. "Did you have a bad dream?"

He shakes his head. His brown eyes look up to Michael then down to his chest. He blankly stares at Michael's teeshirt—an old gym shirt from his university. "It's quiet."

"Yeah," Mike responds with the smallest of a chuckle, "everyone is asleep." He reaches out his hands and brushes his fingers through Caleb's dark brown hair. His head was once buzzed but now it's just barely long enough to brush aside. "What's wrong?"

"Dad cries when Daddy is away," he says ever so slightly, "and it makes me sad."

"That's nothing you have to worry about," Michael responds at the same tone. He speaks with only compassion and care for the young boy.

"I don't want Dad to be alone when he cries. He needs me."

Michael's thumb is going through Caleb's hair, something he often did with Val when she was upset. "Your dad is having his own sleepover with Ashy and Luke, he's happy tonight."

"Really?"

Michael nods, "He wouldn't want you to worry about him."

"Do you think Daddy is gonna come home?"

"He's always going to come home." Michael leans down, pressing a quick kiss to Caleb's forehead. "Go to sleep now."