What you desire is what you want. What you have is what Allah wants - Nouman Ali khan.

SANAM'S POV

6 months later .....

There were only two months left for my final exams.My preparation was in full swing but there was this constant noise at the back of my mind,soiling my attempts to concentrate.

I was always home these days as I got a weeks holiday to prepare for my prefinals.For the past two days, mom was bugging me with her list of proposals.The thing I'd been avoiding for the past two years was finally coming to haunt me.

Mom was seriously considering some of the proposals from her friend, a match-maker.This time she was doing it all secretly with the aid of my sisters and I barely had any idea of it until it slipped from Urwa's tongue.

As much as I hated match-makers I couldn't do anything to drive her away as she was mom's friend and a guest at my home.My mind went into a frenzy thinking of what all could happen in the coming days.I haven't been successful in convincing my mom that I wanted to be single all my life.

" Look at this one Huma.Iam pretty sure you'll not find a better match," Aunt Rehana beemed, passing on a pic to mom.

"Hmm.He's good.But I don't wanna judge people based on their looks and money.Besides he isn't a doctor," mom replied.

I was trying to make sandwiches in the kitchen,overhearing their conversation simultaneously.

"Where would you find a doctor who is religious,well settled and comes from a good family?" Aunt Rehana questioned.

"I don't know where! I sometimes wonder why Hashim wanted his son-in-law to be a doctor," mom replied, her voice depicting her tensed mind.

Mom had told me earlier about how dad had planned everything for his elder daughter.As if he knew he had less time in this world.Dad wanted me to become a doctor and he wished that I'd get married to a doctor.I was fulfilling his first wish and the second one was being worked on by mom.

The grill machine gave a beep sound indicating that the sandwiches were ready.
I hope I didn't burn them this time.

Muttering prayers with a hopeful heart, I lifted it open to reveal the perfectly grilled egg sandwiches.Placing them into the square plates, I headed towards the living room.

"Thank you so much dear! But I am already full with these cookies," Aunt Rehana said, pointing towards the Danish cookies.

"It's not that much.My daughter would be heartbroken if you reject her earnest attempt, " mom said, filling her plate with the sandwiches.

She ate heart fully without any expression of distaste.I guess the sandwiches where not that bad.

"Don't worry Huma! I'd do my best to find her a suitable match inshaAllah," Aunt Rehana said, bidding her goodbye.

I huffed and landed myself on the couch.While mom was escorting her friend to the porch, I went into my room and collected few of my books.They were my escape alley, the best source of deviation from the reality.Before mom could start any sort of discussion on marriage I tried to occupy myself with them.

It felt good being surrounded by a dozen of books but it was becoming harder to concentrate with my emotional turbulence.Lifting my textbook of general surgery, I felt for the bookmark to resume my studies.

" Ya Allah khair! Sanam, why don't you study in your room?" Mom shrieked, placing her hands over her eyes.

"I was getting tired staying up the whole day.So I thought maybe a change of place would help."

She went and sat herself on the coffee table.

"Did this pics kinda scared you?" I asked,grinning at myself.

"Like father like daughter.He used to scare me with all those terrible pics in your medical textbooks and now you're doing the same, " she replied,searching something in her diary.

I chuckled at her reply and gathered my stuff to get back to my room.It was fun watching the terrorized look on her face but I didn't wanted her to shriek every time she came near me.

It was only after praying Maghrib that I ventured out of my room.There was some sort of commotion in the living area.

"Salaam sis! I was about to come to your room," Mikael gushed, stuffing a Ferrero Rocher chocolate into his mouth.

Mom was cooking something in the kitchen and my sisters were fighting for the box of chocolates.

"Anything special? " I enquired.

"Yeah! Alhamdulillah, my application have been accepted by the university," he rejoiced,pushing me to sit beside him.

"I'll be going to Chicago for doing my masters and I'd be pursuing my bachelor's in Islamic studies too," Mikael said, passing me a box of Ferrero Rocher.

"That's great news!Alf Mabrook!" I replied,gulping down my favourite chocolate.

"And Shaila,you better leave those chocolates for Urwa.I know you don't like weighing heavier than me," I suggested,winking secretly at Urwa.

Mikael snickered at my attempts to negotiate with my sister.Mom joined him with a plate full of kebabs.

"Let me tell you a hadith regarding knowledge."

Prophet Mohammed (Sallallahu alaihi wassallam ) said :
Whoever takes a path upon which to obtain knowledge, Allah makes the path to paradise easy for him.

"Alhamdulillah! My son you've made all of us proud.I pray that Allah makes you successful in your endeavour, " Mom blessed Mikael, wiping a stray tear.

She's always done everything she could to affirm his self confidence.For us it was a moment worth cherishing, a moment to thank Allah for the everlasting bliss he has endowed on us so much that we don't deserve.An ayah I read after asr salah reminded me of our ungrateful nature.

Surah Ibrahim, Verse 34:

وَآتَاكُم مِّن كُلِّ مَا سَأَلْتُمُوهُ وَإِن تَعُدُّوا نِعْمَتَ اللَّهِ لَا تُحْصُوهَا إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَظَلُومٌ كَفَّارٌ

And He gives you of all that you ask Him; and if you count Allah's favors, you will not be able to number them; most surely man is very unjust, very ungrateful.

My prayers were always answered by Him.It was just that I was blind to the way Allah answered them.Now that I've entrusted Him with my life, the light came back to me.I can sense His answer in every situation.

Ever since Mikael completed his engineering, he was keen on applying to some foreign universities for doing his masters.After applying to a couple of universities, he was accepted in one of the best ones.Today he looked quite happy when he was envisioning his dream.

******

Sitting at my study table, I was watching the dark clouds,a rare sight in summer.They were appearing inclined to thunder.I was hoping the approaching rain would be certain to calm my mind.But my heart wouldn't be persuaded into tranquility, so I scurried to the terrace.Mom was speaking to someone on the phone so I tiptoed carefully till I reached the last step.

There was growling thunder and the great drops began to plash around me.I stood still catching as much water I could with my hair and clothes.

"Ya Allah! What in the world are you doing up here?" Shaila shouted, standing under the shade.

"You know how much I love the rains.And I have a beautiful explanation for that."

The Prophet ( Sallallahu alaihi wassallam ) was asked why he was standing in the rain.
He replied,"Because it has come from Allah."
(Sahih muslim)

"Well, sis! You are not bent on getting a flu, are you? It's half past ten.Come down," she replied.

Coming down some minutes later, I saw Mikael asleep on the couch with his approval form in his hands.I got a comforter from his room and covered him, placing the form on the table.

Urwa stood on the kitchen hearth, haggard and drowsy.She wasn't used to the assignments and projects she'd been getting in university.Bachelors in nutrition science was her choice but she kept complaining about the homework.

"Why are you so damp, sis?"

"I've been wet," I replied reluctantly, "Was enjoying the rain, that's all."

"God!! You and your obsession with rain!" She replied, heading towards her room.

*****

The morning was cool and fresh.The room was filled with sweet scents from the garden.But there was something heavy in my head which was preventing me from getting up.My teeth chattered as I shrunk closer to my comforter.

"Sanam, get up child.I'm leaving for university," mom said, removing my comforters.

"Please mom.Let them be.It's cold in here."

"Ya Allah! You're ill," mom said, taking my wrist and touching my forehead.

"I suppose that's the reason you wouldn't get up," she said, placing back the cover.

"Don't tell me that you got drenched last night.Did you?" She asked,her voice mixed with anger and apprehension.

I bit my lower lip, thinking of a reason.But I think she knew the answer beforehand.

"Never mind dear.But you should take care of yourself.You know I won't be there with you always," she said, handing me a paracetamol.

"Someday I'll be gone and I want to leave peacefully knowing that there's someone who would take care of you in my absence.Someone who'd love you just like me."

"You're not going anywhere mom! I'll go with you.And no one can love me as much as you do," I replied,burying my head into her bosom.

"Though I love you a lot I want to see you in your own home with a caring husband," she said,wrapping herself around me.

"I saved an ayah from Quran this morning.Let me read it to you. "

Surah Luqman, Verse 34:

إِنَّ اللَّهَ عِندَهُ عِلْمُ السَّاعَةِ وَيُنَزِّلُ الْغَيْثَ وَيَعْلَمُ مَا فِي الْأَرْحَامِ وَمَا تَدْرِي نَفْسٌ مَّاذَا تَكْسِبُ غَدًا وَمَا تَدْرِي نَفْسٌ بِأَيِّ أَرْضٍ تَمُوتُ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَلِيمٌ خَبِيرٌ

Surely Allah is He with Whom is the knowledge of the hour, and He sends down the rain and He knows what is in the wombs; and no one knows what he shall earn on the morrow; and no one knows in what land he shall die; surely Allah is Knowing, Aware.

"Only Allah knows how much more time I have in this world.Please try to understand what I'm saying," she said,placing her hand beneath my chin.

"Marriage is completing half of your deen.It is a sunnah.Allah knows that we all need someone in our lives to cater to our emotional needs.Someone who would make us complete.Someone who would walk hand in hand with you through thick and thin, someone to carry on the human race.It is for this reason that he has created mates."

I looked into her eyes, listening intently,trying to comprehend her words.

"Get yourself clear of the mistaken perception of marriage.You need to raise your mind from the savage ignorance into which it is sunk," she said,steadying her hijab.

Mom lavished on me a torrent of explanations and bid me goodbye.Her words were more powerful than my thoughts.

*****

I was weathered totally.But I didn't regret the awesome twenty minutes in rain.Not until my eyes became red and my nose cracked up due to the constant cleaning.

Due to my crazy fascination, a large part of my day was spent in endless sneezing and with boxes of tissue paper.Miss Zeenath didn't make a gentle nurse, she tried to feed me milk powdered with turmeric.Though I was headstrong on not drinking it, she insisted that it was worked better than the antihistamines I would have.I had but one choice left, to do as she willed for mom gave her my charge while leaving.And I didn't have time for my sickness.

I summoned the courage to study, in spite of aching laziness of head and limbs.In truth, it was tough but I had time running faster than I wanted.

After dhuhr salah, I felt much better.I thanked Allah for bestowing me good health.I was grateful to Miss.Zeenath, my maid for her home remedy.Poor woman was on my bedside a good hour, listening to me talk on subjects like pills, blisters and surgeries.She was delighted to find me capable of completing a chapter cheerfully.

Mom came back at around four.She was wearisome after a day of work.

"Are you feeling better now? "

"Much.Alhamdulillah!"

"That's good news," she said, feeding me a cup of steaming coffee.

"I'd like to tell you something, " mom said,keeping her cup onto the coffee table.

"I spoke to Aunt Uzma yesterday, " she said, looking at me with a glint in her eyes.

"I can say Allah has answered my prayers.She suggested an excellent proposal for you," mom gushed, holding my hand in hers.

"Really? Who are they? Does she know them?" I asked, trying to sound as curious as possible.

"How wouldn't she not? He's her grandson," she replied.

My world came crashing down on me.It was like the air around me was constricting.That moment I felt I would die of hypoxia.

*******
A / N
Assalamualaikum friends!
How was it? Hope you liked this one.
Do you all love the rains like Sanam and me ;)?? Tell me about it ^-^

Would love it if you guys vote and comment:)