"This world isn't perfect. That means it isn't perfectly good but it isn't perfectly bad either"-Yasmin Mogahed.

Sanam's POV

Days were passing by in a blur.Just a month was left for my first year final exams.I can very well remember the day when I bought my car. I had saved enough from the past few months which turned out sufficient to pay the first installment.That day I thought the of offering a ride to someone who always dreamt of a car. I drove it from the showroom straight to the orphanage.

Mom wanted me to donate some clothes and money for those less priveleged kids.I went there especially for Maher, a ten year old boy who was crazy about cars.He had promised to buy me a car when he grows up .What was better than giving him a ride, a glance of his dream which will come true by Allah's will.On my way I hadnt forgotten to stop by at the bakery for buying a cake.When I reached my destination most of the kids were having breakfast. I didn't get into the dining room but kept honking in the play area which made the kids come out of curiosity. They didn't recognise me as the tinted glasses had obstructed their view.

"Is this for real?" Questioned a very surprised Maher.

"Sanam sis..Is this your own car?" Maher kept wondering touching the sleek design of my white Honda.

"Yes Maher! It is for real, this new car belongs to me.Alhamdulillah.Get in now if you want a ride," I said pointing towards the passenger seat.

"Come on everyone! Sanam wants to give us a ride in her new car," an excited Maher called out the rest of the kids.As my car wasn't that big it could accomodate only five kids.The little crowd couldn't contain their joy.Throughout our mini trawl Maher kept asking me about the mileage and many other details about the car.For a ten year old he was very sharp. Inshallah one day he shall fulfill his crazy dream about buying the fastest car in the world.After the ride we cut the pineapple cake I brought for them.A natural smile was permanently plastered on their angelic faces.

Seeing their smiling faces lit my gloomy one.That day I had experienced real happiness.Something which we get only by giving.Being useful to or needed by others is one of the easiest ways to happiness.I had spent my early years ridden with doubt, insecurity and hate.My life convinced me that I might never feel joy again.But it did set me on a quest for something more than all these things life had given me.I reached a point where I almost gave up.Had it not been for Allahs guidance and moms duas I wouldn't have tried.

I tried to survive through all the worst time by turning my heart love proof.I got bruised and battered but never let it heal.I didn't cave in and bury my head in the sand rather I used it as a spur to fight back with my last reserve and emerged a winner.Allah(swt)had healed a part of me by bringing this kids in my life.I know a part of me is still in the process to heal and it will be better than it ever was.And that shall take it's own time.The time when I will fulfill all the promises I had made to dad, a time when I become a near perfect muslimah.A time when I shall be pleased with my existence.

The urge to contemplate philosophy visits me often.These urges become transfigured by my mood.I never knew that life was a big circle; however fast you may try to move you cannot avoid some people.People whom you keep leaving behind but who get stuck in your life like a glue. That day I also happen to meet a wonderful human who was the granny of that jerk.I still remember our conversation.

"Assalamualaikum daughter, are you new here?" Asked an old lady while I was busy playing with the kids.

"Walaikumsalam Mam.I come here to spend time with this kids," I replied, caressing the cheeks of my favourite girl, Myra.

"Oh dear! That's so kind of you. What's your good name?" Asked the lady smiling widely at me.

"I am Sanam Akram! " I replied releasing my fingers from Myra who ran back to the dorm.

"Iam Mrs.Uzma Haroon, the owner of this small orphanage.You can call me granny, I have grandkids of your age, " she replied looking behind as if looking for someone.

"What are you studying Sanam? " Questioned granny,making me a little self conscious.

"Ermm...Iam a medical student granny, " I replied biting my lower lip.

"Wow! Mashallah.I can say I have met a future doctor today, " she replied patting my back.We were interrupted by a thud .It looked like someone slipped as kids were running around with their water guns.Me and granny turned around to see an angry Shiraz brushing his clothes.

I wondered why I kept meeting the same person in this small world.I ignored his presence and excused myself to play blindfold with the kids.They were giving me a hard time finding them.Just when I thought I caught someone it turned out to be Shiraz grinning at me like a fool.

I thought it would be better I take leave as staying around that person would be inviting trouble .When I started my car I witnessed Maher and the other kid puncture Shiraz's car.I wanted to make up for their vandalism though It felt good to see his helpless face.But I didn't wanted to see granny suffer so I offered her a lift.That jerk of a guy stuck along annoying me throughout the way. It took an hour to reach his home but I felt he had misguided me.I should have anticipated that when he kept asking me to take a right turn at every signal and again a left.I felt his behaviour change after that meeting.He kind of stopped annoying me.It was a bit surprising but I felt relief as his presence had always been a thorn in my rough path.

*****
"You up dear? Lock your bags!" Mom instructed,standing at my doorway.

I was feeling on the top of the world. My long lived dream was going to come true.My entire family was going for umra to Mecca.A week back I had dreamt of mom doing the tawaaf of kabatullah.When I told her about it she was of the opinion that it is an invitation from Allah.According to hadeeth its a must that we go for haj or umra once in our lifetime if we have the means to.

I would always wonder how it would feel to be in the city of Allah's home but we couldn't go because of our financial status.Now that we had become enough Alhamdulillah what better way of spending our wealth in something which would take us closer to Allah.

"Hurry up, Sanam! We have to reach the airport by 7am," called out mom, pushing trolley bags out of her room.Shaila and Urwa were running around picking up hijabs and stuffing them in their duffel bags.We had even done an exclusive abaya shopping for four of us .I didn't wanted to but mom insisted that we should pray in our best and modest clothes.Urwa was very excited to shop as this was the first time she would be wearing an abaya.

"Assalamualaikum Sanam,all set?" Asked Mikael carrying mom's luggage with his buff hands.

"Yeah all geared up! And you?" I questioned zipping my hand bag.

"Alhamdulillah I'm. I actually can't believe that we're going for Umra.I'd always tell dad that we should do a haj but he kept delaying it.Iam so happy that I am going there with my mom and sisters," Mikael replied with dreamy eyes. This was the longest sentence he had ever spoken to me.

He even told me that past few days he was busy teaching the translation of Qur'an to his childhood friend, Shiraz.I was surprised to hear about Shiraz's interest in learning Quran.I never thought that he might change for real.We should never judge anyone and talk bad about them.Maybe in Allah's view he is a better muslim, we never know.

"Yallah mom! Let's get going," an excited Mikael spoke.He started calling my mother as mom the day we shifted here.Years back when Mikael's mom was on her death bed she had requested mom to take care of Mikael as his own son .When he was a month old he fell sick and doctors said that he needs to be breastfed.My uncle didn't wanted my mom to look after his son but mom had nursed Mikael to which my uncle was ignorant.This way Mikael was our milk brother.Mom told us about this only a month back when Urwa was pestering mom with questions about Mikael and his family.

Mikael's driver dropped us to the airport in his Audi.At the airport,Mikael helped us to check in as we were new to it.

"Passengers travelling to Jeddah please report at the boarding gate," echoed the sweet voice of a lady probably the cabin crew.There was lot of hustle bustle.

"Sanam,tell me this is not a dream!" Chanted an excited Shaila as we were walking on the aerobridge towards our aircraft.I pinched her cheeks to make her realise that this was for real.

"Ahhh! Not this hard sis," muttered Shaila rubbing her pink cheeks.

I have understood that day that things have a way of working out.We should never underestimate the power of prayer, faith, love and above all the power of Allah to see through. Mom's prayers and strong faith was taking us to a place we did never imagined to go so soon.

It was our first air travel.The first time we were going out of our city.It was going to take two and a half hours for us to reach Jeddah.I kept staring out of the window watching the planet shrink beneath me.Throughout our air ride I kept my eyes on the clouds which were spread like a blanket in the blue sky. It was incredibly beautiful. The sun rays falling on the white clouds gave them a golden tinge.It was a short flight to Jeddah.A taxi was waiting as we disembarked and drove us to the gate for Mecca where buses would take us to our final destination.

The ride from Jeddah to Mecca took an hour by bus.

"Keep reciting labbaik Allahumma labbaik," mom said, when we were on that bus.Mikael had booked a hotel close to the Haram so that mom doesn't have to walk much. She suffers from knee arthritis and can't walk more than a few miles.

"When you first see the kaaba raise your hands in dua, inshaAllah your wish shall come true," mom said as we were entering the Haram.The first glance on the kaaba brought me to tears.It was something my eyes had never seen.The azaan echoed through the haram shaking my inner self. It was something my ears had never heard before.I could feel the sky reverberating to it's rhythm.

I closed my eyes and prayed to Allah to help me become a better muslimah, to forgive all my past sins, to bless my family and to help me in achieving all my halaal dreams.I felt like immortalizing that moment.That moment where I rose from the physical world and soared into the spiritual realms within.

"Subhanallah! this is such a beautiful sight ,"Mom cited looking at the minarets surrounding the kaaba.

Quote from the Holy Qur'an: Al-Jaathiya (45:3)

إِنَّ فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ لَآيَاتٍ لِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ

Inna fee alssamawati waalardi laayatin lilmumineena

Verily in the heavens and the earth, are Signs for those who believe.

I looked around to see different faces everywhere.Muslims from all over the world come here to pray to the lord of the worlds.They looked different, they spoke different languages but when they pray they all looked the same.It was the perfect example of unity in diversity.

We started the tawaaf after zuhr salaah.During the tawaaf we kept reciting a simple dua -

Rabbana aatina fiddunya hasnatau wa fil aaqirati hasnatau waaqina azaaban naar
(Oh Allah bless me with the best in this world and the hereafter and protect me from the torment of hell fire).

I just couldn't keep my eyes off the kaaba. Alhamdulillah we got the opportunity to pray in the hateef .Its an area beside the kaaba which is directly underneath the heaven.I felt so peaceful in my heart,a strange calmness when I prayed there.The wind there was comparitively cooler than the surrounding area.

"Yallah Sanam, let us kiss the Hajr e Aswad, the heavenly stone," mom said after we finished our tawaaf.I was lost in my own world, a world where I could picture just me and Allah.There was a huge rush to kiss that sacred stones. It is believed that our prophet kissed them and they have been brought down from the heaven.Whoever kisses those stones, they shall testify about them on the judgement day.I tried a lot but the moment I put my head in a strong lady pushed me and I got wedged between the ladies who started suffocating me.I gave up as I had become dyspnoeic but mom managed to barge through the heavy crowd and succeeded in her attempts.Mikael had also succeeded as there was less crowd during the men's turn.

I loved the part where we ran on the mountains of Safa and Marwa, the very place where bibi Hajera had run to search water for her kid.We drank glasses of zamzam after our seventh round.Every arkaan of umra was so meaningful.

"SubhanAllah mom! This water is very sweet.I havent tasted anything like this before," Urwa said, gulping down her third glass.

"Yes it is,Alhamdulillah we are blessed to be here," mom said, her eyes never leaving the kaaba.

It took two hours for us to complete our umra.The last part was to clip a part of our hair.Mikael used a scissor to cut an inch of our hair.I was rather fascinated by this ritual.I would be sacrificing a part of my beauty for Allah.Subhanallah every part of our body belongs to him and to him shall we return.

While we were passing the haram gate,a lady on a wheelchair stopped my mom.I rubbed my tired eyes to realise that it was Shiraz's grandmother. I was wondering why she stopped mom.

"Sanam, come here daughter; meet Aunt Uzma.She is your granny's close friend," mom said hugging granny.

"Mashallah! You have got beautiful daughters Huma; Sanam? I have met her already, " granny replied beaming with joy.She hugged and kissed each one of us.

"We had actually come here for two months but extended a month more as we couldn't get enough of it; Subhanallah this place is magical," Granny said looking towards the sky.

Granny insisted that we join her for the lunch.She even introduced us to her husband.Mom wanted to decline as we were all tired but we couldn't win over granny and her ways.We took shawarma and mutabaq from a restaurant on our way and had it in granny's hotel room.It was a five star hotel,quite big for two people. She kept us entertained with the stories of mom's childhood.

We spent a fortnight in the holy city of Mecca.Life was a ritual of praying and refreshing our souls.Each day I fell in love with this place and I fell even more for my Lord.It was heart breaking for me to leave his house,that beautiful city and be back home.Those days were etched in my memories for ever. It was indeed a dream come true for each one of us!

*********

A / N

Alhamdulillah a new chapter!

Do vote and comment if you like it:)

If you guys haven't been to Mecca then you are missing out big thing in your life.Please do visit if you have the means to..Dont wait for your oldage..Its a heavenly experience..i promise..

Remember me in your duas..All those who are going for haj or umra :)