"Blessed are the hearts that can bend for they shall never be broken"-Yasmin Mogahed.

Sanam's POV

It was one of those days when you wake up and feel like going back to sleep.After praying fajr I thought of taking a nap but it turned into a slumber.And my bed clinged on to me so hard that I had to practically push myself out of it.Had I delayed more,mom would think that I was sleeping on purpose to avoid the freshers party.

Huffing loudly I swayed my way to the bathroom.My mind thinking why it was so hard for me to attend a fresher's party in my medical school.I didn't sound normal.But i loved living in seclusion.After a lot of reluctantance I agreed to go.I was only interested in the quiz.When I told Urwa the reason I agreed she laughed at how boring I sounded.

When she argued I begged to differ.Just because I prefer a medical quiz to some stupid uni party doesn't make me boring .According to me, a boring person is someone who has no aim in life, who is living life just for the heck of it, who lacks functionality.

But it was true that I disliked social gatherings.I did always be the one who stayed at home while Shaila and Urwa accompanied mom to any of her friends parties.I feel that parties and social gathering are more about  dressing up and bitching behind others back.Its about letting worldly pleasures detain ourselves in the matter of obedience to Allah.Mom always told us that quran teaches us to stay away from spying and backbiting about others.

Quote from the Holy Qur'an: Al-Hujuraat (49:12)

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اجْتَنِبُوا كَثِيرًا مِنَ الظَّنِّ إِنَّ بَعْضَ الظَّنِّ إِثْمٌ ۖ وَلَا تَجَسَّسُوا وَلَا يَغْتَبْ بَعْضُكُمْ بَعْضًا ۚ أَيُحِبُّ أَحَدُكُمْ أَنْ يَأْكُلَ لَحْمَ أَخِيهِ مَيْتًا فَكَرِهْتُمُوهُ ۚ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ تَوَّابٌ رَحِيمٌ

Ya ayyuha allatheena amanoo ijtaniboo katheeran mina alththanni inna baAAda alththanni ithmun wala tajassasoo wala yaghtab baAAdukum baAAdan ayuhibbu ahadukum an yakula lahma akheehi maytan fakarihtumoohu waittaqoo Allaha inna Allaha tawwabun raheemun

O ye who believe! Avoid suspicion as much (as possible): for suspicion in some cases is a sin: And spy not on each other behind their backs. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay, ye would abhor it... But fear Allah: For Allah is Oft-Returning, Most Merciful.

I stood up rubbing my eyes and unbraided my plate to reveal my long hair in the mirror.I stayed,observing the person on the other side.There was nothing extraordinary about my looks.My skin was a little pale.It was neither too fair nor too dark.I wasn't what you call breathtakingly beautiful. I wasn't the girl people can't take their eyes off.I never wanted to be one anyways.Mom says we are all Allah's creation and all His creations are perfect in some way or the other.

I brushed my teeth and felt lazy to shower.Wrapping my hair in a bun I walked into the kitchen in my night dress.Shaila and Urwa were fast asleep as sunday was the only day when they slept after fajr.Mom was standing near the counter beating eggs for breakfast.

"Assalamualaikum Sanam.Did you sleep well hun?" Mom enquired with a concerned face.

"Walaikumassalam.Yeah mom,I had a long refreshing sleep.And I also took a nap after fajr," I replied, stifling a yawn.

"That's great! I was worried thinking of the consequences had it been otherwise," mom continued with a deep sigh.She wanted me to participate actively in all the

"Mom, can I chop these veggies for you?"I asked pouting my lips and blinking my eyes.She opened her mouth to reject my offer but I took some carrots and capsicum from the table already so instead she nodded in positive.A smile crept on her angelic face.What a lovely start to my morning!

I was trying to chop the tomatoes for the omelette when my phone started buzzing. In a hurry, I carried the knife along to pick up the phone which was ringing in my living room.

"Salaam Sanam, it's Dr.Ahmer.Well I wanted to inform you that the medical quiz which was to be conducted in the noon have been delayed due to some technical reasons.I expect you to be in the premises by 5pm.Don't forget to enlighten your partner about it.Good luck! " he wished.

I thanked him before ending the call.No sooner did the call end that the door bell rang. I covered my hair with a hijab which was lying on the couch and opened the door.

"Assalamualaikum habibti! How are you this morning? "

It was Naila. She had called me at fajr that she would come over so that we could prepare for the quiz.But I didn't know that this crazy girl would turn up so early. Naila was about to hug me but she stopped in her tracks and stood there staring at my hands.

"Sanam, Iam a little crazy.But do you want to get rid of me this early?" Naila stammered. It was then I noticed that I was still holding the knife in my hand.I started laughing at her innocence.I wanted to play along but I didn't wanna scare my only friend.

"Lol Naila! It was incidental.I was trying to help mom in the kitchen."

"You are a naughty nerd.Do you know that?" She teased.

"Ewww! Dont call me that," I replied,walking her into the living room.

Minutes later we both broke into fits of laughter. I was slowly opening up to her.She had become a part of my journey.

"Who is it dear?"Mom called out to ask about the visitor at the door.Soon we both made our way towards the kitchen.

"Salam Naila,how are you dear?"

"Walikumassalam Aunt Huma.Glad to see you again!"

"I hope Sanam doesn't trouble you much in the university," mom enquired more like teased me.

"No, not all Aunt Huma! She just makes me run after her all the time and she doesn't even let me finish my lunch and drags me to all the classes," Naila replied smirking at me. On hearing her reply I hit her lightly on her arms.Mom and Naila laughed at my revenge.

Shaila and Urwa had woken up to due to our chattering and laughter so we had a cosy family breakfast .

******

When I told Naila about the quiz getting delayed she insisted that we venture out for some shopping.Though I convinced her that I had many dresses she wouldn't listen to me . According to her I had nothing suitable to wear for the freshers night as it was a ballroom theme.Would that mean I would have to dress up in some Cinderella gown ? When I was a kid I was obsessed with Cinderella and her Prince but now I know that Prince charming doesn't exist in real life, fairytales hardly come true.

"That's a nice idea Naila,Why don't you take her to the city centre?"

"That's a great idea Aunty!"

"But let me give you a small tip, don't let her eye any black dress otherwise she wouldn't buy anything bright." She was whispering the last part to Naila as if I wouldn't hear.She wasnt aware that I wore dark shades for it reflected my dull personality.Giving up against mom and bestie,I got dressed in my black abaya and a grey hijab.We left after saying salam.Naila was beaming with excitement.She was successful in her attempts.

She drove her car today as her bro who usually dropped her was occupied with some work.It would always make me a little jealous.I sometimes wished I had a brother who would chaperone me,love me, fight with me.I had vowed to myself that I would take care of mom till my last breath, I would be her son which she never had.

My trail of thoughts were broken by screeching noise of the vehicles in the parking lot.We reached the shopping centre in approximately ten minutes.Mom gave me money for spending but I secretly put it back in her pocket.She needed it more than me.I had saved money in my account from my new job.If I find anything worth buying I would use it.

Naila had gotten me to some popular shopping mall which had many apparels stores.We rarely shopped from the likes of these giant shopping centres.

"Sanam,try this red one.Iam sure it will look awesome on you!" She said, holding a red gown which appeared a little gaudy to me.I rejected it by making a yuck face to which Naila rolled her eyes.I wanted something modest and beautiful.I kept rejecting all the eyecatching colours.

She then strolled through many dresses.I kept wandering until my eyes caught the glimpse of a peach coloured gown with white embroidery on the neck and sleeves.When I displayed it,Naila liked it too so she insisted that I try it out.I was finding my way to the changing room when I spotted someone familiar.It was Yumna.She had come along with Shehriyaar and Shiraz. I tried to hide behind the clothes to prevent any encounter but Naila called my name aloud which made them turn.

"Look, who is here! The nerdy nerd is buying something for the party.All to get some attention.Never in your dreams will anyone look at your ugly face,whatever your name is!" Yumna spat venomously.

I was fuming with anger.She insulted me in public.Pursing my lips i tried to control the words which could have answered her.I didn't wanted to even sound like her let alone dress.Meanwhile,Shiraz pulled her away mumbling a sorry.I couldn't fathom the reason behind her rude behaviour.I had never done anything to provoke her.

Quote from the Holy Qur'an: Al-Muzzammil (73:10)

وَاصْبِرْ عَلَىٰ مَا يَقُولُونَ وَاهْجُرْهُمْ هَجْرًا جَمِيلًا

Waisbir AAala ma yaqooloona waohjurhum hajran jameelan

And have patience with what they say, and leave them with noble (dignity).

In every nook and corner of my heart,I hated partying and shopping. I never wish to appear like a desperate girl,in the race to look good and please everyone. I preferred being discreet in my plain clothing which would keep me invisible.Far from any lustous eye and devilish soul.

Before I could pick up my broken peices,Naila snatched the dress from my hand and took it to the billing counter.She knew I wouldnt buy anything after that,so she got it packed and was even going to pay for it.But I stopped her and gave my card instead.The ride to home was filled with pin drop silence . Naila had been considerate in giving me some time .We are all wired differently so we need to give space to each other to react in our own unique ways.

******

After reaching home Naila didn't tell mom about the incident at mall.She tried to divert my mind by taking out some books for our quiz.Working together is essential for success;I believed that even freckles would make a nice tan if they get together.My anger did die after a while as I kept reciting Astaghfirullah.

"Sanam, shall I tell you something? You should be happy with who you are from inside out and not worry about someone else judgements." Naila stated when we were in the midst of a neuroanatomy book."And you know what Allah(swt) says?"

Quote from the Holy Qur'an: Al-Hujuraat (49:9)

وَإِنْ طَائِفَتَانِ مِنَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ اقْتَتَلُوا فَأَصْلِحُوا بَيْنَهُمَا ۖ فَإِنْ بَغَتْ إِحْدَاهُمَا عَلَى الْأُخْرَىٰ فَقَاتِلُوا الَّتِي تَبْغِي حَتَّىٰ تَفِيءَ إِلَىٰ أَمْرِ اللَّهِ ۚ فَإِنْ فَاءَتْ فَأَصْلِحُوا بَيْنَهُمَا بِالْعَدْلِ وَأَقْسِطُوا ۖ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ الْمُقْسِطِينَ

Wain taifatani mina almumineena iqtataloo faaslihoo baynahuma fain baghat ihdahuma AAala alokhra faqatiloo allatee tabghee hatta tafeea ila amri Allahi fain faat faaslihoo baynahuma bialAAadli waaqsitoo inna Allaha yuhibbu almuqsiteena

If two parties among the Believers fall into a quarrel, make ye peace between them: but if one of them transgresses beyond bounds against the other, then fight ye (all) against the one that transgresses until it complies with the command of Allah; but if it complies, then make peace between them with justice, and be fair: for Allah loves those who are fair (and just).

I pondered over her words and nodded agreeingly. I badly felt like skipping the party but if I acted upon my thoughts mom would enquire of the reason.She would be heartbroken to hear about the incident.I decided to be present for the shortest possible time.Allah loves those who make peace.I wished to be his favourite!

It was Dhuhr time when we closed our books and got up to pray.On Sunday's it was a kind of family ritual to do everything together.We assemble to pray dhuhr in the living room which is followed by mom reciting The holy Quran and few hadeeths.Finishing our salahs,we sat there listening to her melodious voice.

We were so deeply engrossed in listening to her that we didn't notice that it was past lunch time.Urwa and Shaila walked into the kitchen to set the dishes while rest of us gathered in the dining room .Shaila made her famous lasagna and mom prepared the dessert - fruit trifle.I uttered bismillah and started digging in my plate.When it comes to food we all eat according to the sunnah.One third of our tummy is filled with food, one third is water and the other third is empty.For a fact it does wonders to your body!

It was about 3.30pm when Naila suggested that we get ourselves ready for the party. Shaila and Urwa had tagged along with Naila cause they wanted to help in getting me ready.Though they were well aware that when it comes to getting ready I was faster than men.

I took a long shower, letting the warm water flow on my skin trying to sweep away all the bad feelings within me.I shouldn't let rude and obnoxious people rent space in my head.

"Come on Sanam, you need to hurry up it's four already!" Yelled Naila, standing at the doorstep.I walked out of the bathroom dressed in my new attire. Shaila, Urwa and Naila were sitting on my bed but when they saw me they all got up and their mouth formed an O.They stood there gaping at me as if I was an alien .I waved my hand in front of their faces waking them out of their trance.

"Wow, you look like some model Sanam dear!" Complimented Naila. I rolled eyes at her remarks and made my way towards the mirror.The dress did look beautiful.

Shaila and Urwa were beaming with joy as I had agreed to a little makeup.They applied some foundation, lined my upper lid with an eyeliner and chapped my lips with a fruity lip balm . Naila got me a silver hijab with speckles of gold from her collection. I wasn't accepting her gift but she emotionally black mailed. I had to give away.Shaila even made me wear her silver pumps.

Never in my life I had been decked up so much. I was feeling like one of those mannequins from the wedding mall. As I am a little clumpsy Naila gave me a tutoring session on how to walk with those stilettos.After about more than a dozen attempts I passed her test.

Both of us got dressed in an hour and half.Naila wore a blue gown with a black velvet hijab.She looked very beautiful.Mom was surprised and happy to see me all dressed up.

"Give your best my kids and leave the rest to God.My prayers are always with you.Be back before nine,"mom instructed,bidding us goodbye.

********

I took a deep breath and uttered bismillah before setting my foot out of the car. Though it wasn't my first day there I was a little nervous.It was perhaps the quiz or the fresher's night. I couldn't guess it right . Some seniors in the parking lot directed us to the auditorium where the quiz was going to be held.

Throughout my way I could feel people's eyes piercing through my back. It was because they have never seen Sanam Akram in a glam outfit.It did made me a little uneasy but Naila kept pressing my hand to comfort me.I walked in a slow pace to avoid tripping over as this was the first time I was wearing a floor hugging gown.

"Good evening doctors! Today we have assembled here for the annual medical quiz conducted by Eria healthcare.The very organisation which belongs to the legendary Dr.Yasser.Our guest of honour is non other than his talented son,Dr.Younus. He is a successful physician and has graduated from the same institute," Dr.Ahmer stated proudly.

Everyone turned their heads to have a look at our guest.He was dressed in a black tuxedo with a red tie. Girls couldn't stop drooling Astaghfirullah. I lowered my gaze without any further scrutization as it is haraam to check out any guy.I was totally surprised to find that he studied from the same medical school. He never told me about it.

"Oh my Gosh! He is so handsome- green eyes, black hair, sharp nose and a strong jaw line with a little stubble, like some perfect guy out of a novel!" Squealed Yumna.She was sitting right behind me.Yumna had paired along with Shehriyaar to challenge us.

Moments later,Dr.Ahmer being the quizmaster gave us a briefing on the rules and regulations.Out of thirty teams who were participating ,ten teams got selected in the elimination round.We were lucky to be in one of those teams.In every round a team was eliminated but surprisingly we made it to the final round.

Our opponent was the very person who was on my hit list -Yumna.She could make it to the final only due to Shehriyaar's swift answers.

"The final question which will decide the winner is here - What is the other name of Sydenham's chorea?" Before Dr.Ahmer could repeat the question I answered it - St.Vitus' dance.

"You are absolutely right Miss! Congratulations! You have won the quiz! "

I couldn't believe Dr.Ahmer's voice.Naila hugged me with exultation.I pinched myself to decipher if I was hallucinating.I felt the pain which meant it was for real.The hall was filled with the sound of applauding hands.I couldn't just believe it as I stood there absorbing the moment.I was kind of turning my stumbling blocks into stepping stones.

"Congratulations, Dr.Sanam Akram.I knew you would be the winner!" A familiar voice spoke.I turned around to find Dr.Younus giving me a toothy grin.I smiled in return accepting his greetings.I am clueless as to what happens to me whenever he is around. I go kinda mute.

"How on earth does he know you Sanam?" Naila kept nagging me. I had to tell her that I worked in his heath centre. I did extract a promise from her that she shouldn't tell mom about it.I was going to tell it to her next morning.

The quiz got over around 7pm.Meanwhile the cultural events and the fresher's night had officially began . Naila took me to the restroom to freshen up and touchup her makeup for which I refused.

"On behalf of all the professors and the seniors I welcome one and all to this fresher's night.We shall first start with some performances which would be followed by the ball and dinner.Hope you all enjoy!"announced Moazzam, a senior batch representative.

We all gathered in the background which was beautifully decorated. There was a big podium for the performers and the lightings were amazing.The area was crammed with noisy teens preparing themselves for a much anticipated performance.

"SHIRAZ! SHIRAZ! The crowd started cheering and chanting his name like some mantra.

I stood way far from the stage but Naila kept pushing me to the front. I wanted to go out but I couldn't move as I was sandwiched between the hooting, cheering and roaring crowd.

Shiraz performed on a nasheed to which I hardly paid any attention. I didn't knew anything about the it as I don't listen to music much but Naila was enjoying immensely. I stood there tugging her arm afraid that I might lose her in the crowd.His performance was followed by a ballet dance by a group of pretty girls.The most intriguing performance was a skit done by our seniors which highlighted the doctor-patient relationship.

"Please gather in the common room, the ball is about to begin." An unknown voice made an announcement through the loudspeakers which were furnished all round the university.Within no time elated medicos flooded the common room.I didn't wanted to go the ballroom but Naila promised that we would be there only for a few minutes and leave after the dinner buffet.I agreed cause I have never been to a ball before.But I had no intention of dancing.

It was all crazy.Guys started asking out pretty girls for a dance.Yumna was dancing with Shiraz and Naila was asked for a dance by Shehriyaar.She was hesitant initially but Shehriyaar told her that he would just hold her hands so she agreed shyly.I wanted to stop her from the haraam act but I didn't wanted her to feel that I was calling the haraam police everytime to stop her from enjoying.Theres a time and way of conveying every thing.

I stood in a corner observing the dancing couples around me when a girl came and handed me a bouquet of sunflower.I thought it was delivered to the wrong person.Before i could return it my eyes fell on a note.It read-' Iam sorry , please accept my apology'- Shiraz.

For a minute I was dazed but then it hit me that I was allergic to sunflowers.I started sneezing violently until I turned black and blue.Throwing the bouquet on the floor I ran towards the girls restroom where I washed my face and drank a little water but the sneezing wouldn't stop.I came out of it to find Shiraz waiting eagerly for me.

"Iam so sorry Sanam.I didn't mean to harm you! I had no idea that you were allergic to sunflowers. I just wanted to apologise for my absurd behaviour.I shouldn't have called you like a stalker the other night." Shiraz went on with his serial apologies. I felt the urge to go out but he blocked my path and my eyes had become red, burning due to the incessant sneezing.

"For God sake Shiraz, just leave me alone! You have been nothing more than a pain in the butt! I don't want your apology nor your attention so just move!" I snapped at him rubbing my watery eyes.

I walked towards the bus stand as I was in no mood for dinner ,I wanted to be home.It was 9 in the night and there wasn't any sign of the bus arriving. I tried calling Naila but she didn't pick up my call, she must have been busy dancing with Shehriyaar.Suddenly out of now where a black Mercedes stopped in front of me revealing the person I hated the most.

"Sanam, please get in the car.I know you are thinking that I had done this on purpose.I can't explain you any further cause you are being delusional.I never intended any harm to you."

I continued walking away.But he followed.

"Please let me drop you to home or some hospital.You are in need of some medicine right now otherwise i fear the allergy could worsen!"Shiraz said with a concerned face.

"Achchhooo, I don't want your help Shiraz! So just leave me alone Mister!acchhooo" I said gritting my teeth.By now my hands started to itch.It was getting worse.

He got out from his car, took hold of my wrist like I was a two year old about to dart out into the street and gripped it dragging me towards his big black car.

"Now get in.You are too stubborn!" He said angrily.I couldn't muster enough courage to snap at him again so I obeyed.He took me to the nearest hospital.

The doctor had given me an injection to prevent anaphylactic reaction..He even prescribed some antihistamines for a week.After the injection I had to gulp down some medicines too which made me dizzy.Shiraz tried to hold me but I just moved away.He understood that I didn't want him to touch me so he kept his distance.

"You are going to feel dizzy due to the injection and the antihistamines so I will drop you home.Just tell me your address!" Shiraz spoke in a serious tone.

I told him my address and he drove towards it.Throught our way my eyes would shut themselves and I had to keep rubbing them to stay awake.Shiraz kept stealing glances at me but I didn't turn my face to him.I was more intrested in the outside world.I had always wanted to be anywhere away from him but fate always makes it otherwise.Perhaps hating someone too much was bad.

He dropped me at the gate and I walked away without looking back or thanking him.I felt it wasnt needed.He was the reason for my terrible state.I took a deep breath and after steadying myself walked towards my doorstep.

The front door was open revealing a worried mom in the living room.She was pacing back and forth.Naila must have told her that she couldn't find me in the university.

"Where were you Sanam? I was so worried about you.Why didn't you stay for the dinner? " Mom kept throwing questions at me.I took hold of the sofa as I was still a little dizzy and tried to fathom a reply.

"I was getting bored mom so I left back early. A friend of mine gave me a lift so chill mom.Iam right here,in front of you.And perfectly alright! "I yawned at her indicating that I was sleepy.If I would have told her that a guy dropped me she would have erupted like a volcano.I never lied to my mom but I thought I would tell her the truth when she was calm.

I climbed up to my room.The injection was in its peak action,drowsiness had clouded my vision and mind.I managed to unpin my hijab and pounced on my soft bed.Ready to dwell in dreamland I fell into a deep slumber within minutes.

************

A/N

Assalamualaikum guys!

How was this?

Do give me your feedback by voting and commenting!

Till then take care and keep reading.

Lots of love,
Dr.Sid