It was a full moon, the room was dim and the night was cold and silent. Yet, it was so peaceful. I remembered us, sitting on our roof top, enjoying the moonlight with alcohol in one hand, and mine hand in yours.

Sasuke put his bottle of vodka down to his side, as I snuggled up on his chest and he began lighting up a cigarette. "Sasuke, you've been smoking a lot these days.." I interrupted the silence, my eyes averted from the starry skies to his cold eyes. "I know. Sorry sweetheart, I know you dislike the smell of cigarettes." He replied and kissed my head.
I giggled and shook my head, "Well, I've grown to like the smell of cigarettes." As soon as I told Sasuke, he raised his brow in astonishment. "And, why all of a sudden?" He asked curiously as he exhaled some smoke through his thin lips.
I chuckled again and sat up to face my lover. "They always remind me of you. Because they smell like you."
"Heh, are you saying I smell like a cigarette?"
"Obviously! You smoke so much that, you smell like them all the time."
Sasuke took my words into consideration and he nodded in agreement. We both laughed in unison.

We drank a little more before Sasuke asked, "Would you like to try?"
"Try what? Smoking a cig?" I asked after taking a gulp of vodka. He nodded, handing me the half burnt cigarette. He flicked off the remaining ashes and put it to my lips. His eyes never wandered from mine, his cold fingers brushed across my lips as he place the harmful stick between my lips.

I inhaled it and the smoke entered my lungs instantly. I immediately coughed, and Sasuke was grinning as he continued to smoke that cigarette I've tried. "You shouldn't inhale it all." Sasuke advised me. At this point, I was getting a bit adventurous and curious. So I replied, "Alright then, let me try again." Sasuke then made me watch how he smoked. And I have to be completely honest, he looked charming.

The moonlight was perfectly reflected off his flawless structured sharp face. His hair..
His lips..
His eyes..
His coal eyes turned back to mine and he caught me red handed, admiring him. I got flustered and instantly turned away, feeling my face burning up. He cupped my chin and pulled me closer. "Here." He gave me a cigarette that has not been lit. I put in between my lips and he lit my cigarette with his'.

He looked really cool. Damn, he's always so cool.

I love him so much.

We were smoking the entire night away. Until the entire damn pack was finished. It felt so relaxing, just being next to him was like heaven on earth to me.

But now, with him gone..
My heaven, my world has shattered.
I miss him everyday.
Every single fucking day.
I regret not being able to say my goodbyes, I regret- I regret not saying so many things I wanted to say. If only I could have one more night like that with him, just one more.. I would do anything, I would give anything for it.

I would hold him so close.

My tears began rolling down my face and I awaken from another nightmare. Another memory. The heaviness in my heart, the emptiness in my heart.. It won't go away. I sobbed and whimpered, curling up in a ball on my half empty bed. I hate this. Why, why must it be him and not me? How could he have just leave me like this? I can't believe it. He's gone forever.
I can never touch him, speak to him or see him ever again..
It's a torture. I began to punch the bed, hopping up and down and throwing pillows off it. I just needed to vent my agony. I screamed and screamed into the mattress. "SASUKE!!"

After minutes of madness, I began to regain my self-control. I shivered in grief, my entire bed room was a mess. Hell, even I'm a mess. I grabbed Sasuke's favorite brand of cigarette pack and took a stick out from it. I dug for a lighter in my pockets but found one on the floor eventually. I lit it up, and began to inhale my poison.

Ever since six months ago, I've been smoking heavily. And I don't think I'll ever be able to quit. Not because I'm addicted to it, but because I'm addicted to the memory of it. The memory of Sasuke.

"They always remind me of you. Because.. they smell like you, Sasuke." I cried and laughed, flickering the ashes at the bottom of my cigarette aside.