"What are you doing?"

I lean against the door to the bedroom, pulling my hair out of its teacher bun as I study my fiancé. Man, I love that word. It's almost enough to put a smile on my face after a day like today. 

"You're home?" John looks up from the screen and pats the spot on the bed next to him. "How was your day?"

Sluggishly, I kick my heels off and face-plant onto the mattress. "Long. Horrible. Awful. I hate parent-teacher conferences."

"It couldn't have been that bad, Mel." He laughs, laying a hand on my back.

Gathering the strength to lift my head up, I glare at him. "Parents are awful. Some think their kids could be doing better when they're already doing great. Some think their kids are saints when they're literally demons from the pits of hell. Some parents..." my voice dies out as I crack my knuckles. "Some parents don't even care enough about their kid to show up." I punch a pillow. "Scarlett was the nicest person I talked to tonight."

And even we bickered over her midterm grade and it made me even more upset that she was right. Now I have to go through and check everyone else's tests too.

"Well, I promise we won't be those parents." He kisses my head.

"We better not." I sigh, snuggling into his torso as he grabs his computer again. Annoyed at the less than full attention I'm getting, I slap his arm. "Pay attention to me."

"I will in a minute."

"What is more important than me?" I demand adjusting myself to look at his screen. A gasp slips through my lips as I take in the image waiting for me. "Why are you looking at houses?"

He tsks, "Because we're going to have to move eventually."

"I love my apartment." I protest. It's sorta shitty but I love it.

"We can't fit any children in this one bedroom shack." He chides.

Fair point. "We have plenty of time for that."

"We do, maybe too much time." He agrees and I can feel the but coming. "But I think this might be the one."

"How so?"

"It's in a gated community. Has a huge backyard. It's 10 minutes from the kids and 15 from school." He rattles on about how perfect it is and I can't help but agree as I scroll through the pictures.

The house is everything I've ever wanted. It's perfect, but then reality sets in. How will we pay for it? My salary is less than lackluster and I have a decent savings account, but nowhere near enough to offer half of the house and still have plenty for the wedding.

"I can see it now." John sighs.

"See what?" I ask, pulling my gaze back to his.

He smiles dreamily, "Christmas morning maybe 6 years from now. Our kids running downstairs, tripping over themselves to open presents. The kiddos coming over, home from wherever they are. At the rate we're going at, we might even have a few grandchildren."

The thought should warm my heart and it partly does but another sensation barrels over it. Nausea slams into me like a brick wall.

"We should make an offer." John decides, pulling his phone out.

"No." I grab his hand.

"Why?" He raises an eyebrow. "Mel, we've looked at houses before and none of them are this perfect."

"They also weren't this expensive." I counter.

"Price doesn't matter."

"To me it does." I snap. "I can't afford that house."

"You don't have to." His expression softens. "I'm not asking you to half the cost with me."

"But I want to." I state. "What's the rush, anyways? We don't even have a wedding date set and we have to have an established marriage before we can adopt a child together."

"We could elope for all I care." He explains.

"We can't elope." I hiss. "You have family and friends and 5 very bossy children who would kill us."

"If it meant we could buy the house, then I'll face the consequences." He shuts the computer. "But fine, let's set a date."

"I'm not doing this right now." I cut him off, rubbing my temples.

"So you don't want to buy a house because we aren't married and we can't adopt until we're married, but you don't want to pick when we get married." He sums up. "It's starting to feel like you don't want any of those things."

"John, don't do this." I beg, not ready for this conversation.

"I'm serious." He snaps. "We've been engaged for two months. We have made no progress towards marriage."

"You moved in." I point out. His shit is quite literally everywhere.

"I was already living here." He deadpans. "It takes time to be qualified to adopt and we have to be married before we even start that process. What's the hold up?"

"There isn't one." I snip, grabbing a pillow. His words drown out in the blood soaring in my ears.

"Then pick a date."

"Not right now."

We hold each other's gaze, flames of anger dancing in our eyes. As my jaw tenses, I prepare for a fight. I'm not in the mood tonight to give into his every demand. Before I can tell him that, he rolls over, slamming his laptop shut.

Reaching up to turn his lamp off, John clears his throat. "Siri, wake me up at 5 a.m."

*****

Ignoring the persistent ringing of my phone, I double check my bag for all of my flight essentials: gum, AirPods, papers to grade, and candy. Perfect. Taking a moment, I study our small living room and kitchen. The brand-new TV. The super soft sofa decorated with more throw pillows and blankets than anyone needs. A knock at the door takes me by surprise, and I hurry to open it.

A short girl stands on the other side, lips pressed together in annoyance that slightly turns into a smile as she notices me. "Chloe, come in."

"Hi, Ms. Miller." She steps inside, placing her bag on the floor.

"It's Melissa outside of school." I remind her, going into the kitchen to grab her a bottle of water.

"Right." She apologizes, taking the drink from me. "Where are you off to this time?"

"Vegas" I wiggle my brows. "We should be back Monday. Whiskers is somewhere in my room. There is plenty of food and drink for you to enjoy. You can rent whatever movies you'd like..." My mind blanks as I try to think of any other snippets of information I'm forgetting. "Lock the door at night. No parties."

"Trust me, I plan on spending the weekend alone." She grunts.

Ignoring the painful squeeze on my heart, I try to think of what to say. I've known Chloe Hale for a little under a year. The first time John took me to New York, I was in need of a cat sitter and mentioned something to a coworker. They recommended Chloe and I agreed. Imagine my surprise when Chloe showed up, tiny, dressed in black and soaked in rainwater. Despite her sour attitude, I gave her a sweatshirt and made coffee before explaining where everything was. A few months later, she ended up being one of my best students.

I'm sorta fond of her now, and so is my cat. Which is a blessing since Whiskers hates John's brood of banshees.

I snap my fingers, speaking of the devils. "Sage should be stopping by later to pick up an envelope so don't be scared when he undoubtedly forgets we're gone and beats on the door."

"I'll tape it to the door for him." She says, picking at her nail polish.

"There's money in the envelope so please don't do that," I panic.

"Why does he need the money now?" She crosses her arms. "Isn't he loaded?"

"Because I lost a bet." I admit bitterly.

"Over what?"

The faint hint of a smile on her face is the only reason I indulge her with a response. "Because I thought Ashton could go more than 5  minutes without texting Scarlett." He didn't even last 2. I know being in college is hard for him but I still have a class to teach. "So now I am 60 bucks poorer and you're giving him money."

I tape the envelope against the counter and tsk as she rolls her eyes.

"He doesn't bite, Chloe."

"He speaks." She responds dryly.

Sighing, I try to forget that I said the same thing about social situations months ago... look at me now. Engaged to an idiot with 5 children I'm now emotionally invested in.

"Maybe Ella will be with him so he won't even do that." I counter just as my Apple Watch dings, another gift from John, and I mentally curse the traffic I'm going to sit in. "I have to go. Behave. Enjoy yourself. There's money for takeout and chocolate cake in the fridge."

Desperately hugging her stiff frame, I grab my suitcase and make a mad dash for my Uber.

*****

The flight is silent. The ride to our hotel is silent. The only time we speak is to assure the kids we didn't die in the plane or get kidnapped during our drive. Drama queens.

Throwing my bag on the couch, I plop onto the bed and groan, ready for a nap. John walks in, leaning against the wall to unfasten his cufflinks. "We can't go the entire weekend in silence."

"We can if I spend every day at the spa." I stretch out.

"I'm serious, Melissa." He deadpans.

"So am I, Jonathan" I sit up, glaring at him.

"Why are you upset?" He demands. "Are you mad I want to marry you? That I want to raise a family with you in a nice neighborhood where we can safely grow old and wrinkly together?"

"I'm mad you have no respect for me." I snap, tossing a pillow at him and his bullshit. "I'm upset that you throw your cash at everything. My sofa has a rip, let's get a new one. My blender makes a weird noise, let's get a new one with a million buttons and attachments. My old, hand-me-down watch had a permanent delay, here's a shiny Apple Watch that has the audacity to tell me to relax!" Like it's doing right now.

Standing up, I pace back and forth in an attempt to battle the rage.

"I buy you things because I respect you." He holds my gaze. "Why won't you let me get us this?"

"No." I shake my head. "I bring nothing to this relationship. You buy everything. You pay the majority of the bills. You pay for the date nights, the lavish vacations, the shiny toys." I look around the high-end hotel room. "I can't even fathom how much this room costs."

He says nothing.

"I'll be damned if you buy our home without any help from me." I jab a finger in his direction.

Gently, he grabs my finger. "I'm... I'm sorry."

The weight of my words comes crashing down and I choke on regret. "No, I went too far."

"I promise, you didn't." He says wearily.

With a sinking heart, I kick the pillow I tossed earlier. "Can we just talk?" He shoots me a look that says he's already asked that and I lead him to the edge of the bed. Resting my head against his shoulder, I sigh. "I'm sorry, I guess I didn't even realize how bothered I was by it."

"Why does me buying you things bother you?"

"I don't–" Biting the inside of my lip, I stop myself from lying. "When I was married, I didn't work."

"But-"

"I taught while he was deployed but once he was home for good, apparently so was I." I play with the new ring on my left hand. "I relied solely on him for everything and it... sucked ass."

John stifles a laugh at my bluntness but seriousness soon replaces it. "I remind you of him?"

"No!" I grab his hand. "You're everything he isn't but it still freaks me out. Especially since you make so much and I make relatively nothing. The gap makes me uncomfortable, plus, I've learned I enjoy providing for myself."

"I see." He nods but there's a struggle going on behind his eyes.

"Why do you feel the need to buy everything?" I hesitantly ask. His spending has been a light topic of discussion before and not just over me. He spoils the children with things they definitely don't need. I found the paperwork from when John bought Ricardo's house years ago when he moved in. He tips every server at least a hundred bucks. He is constantly spending.

John sits quietly for a few moments, licking his lip. "When I was a kid, I couldn't even afford the clothing on my back. Everything I owned was either stolen, donated or gifted to me by the Rhodes. The darkest time of my life was when Mateo moved away. When I moved here to live with them, I remember feeling so ashamed by my life, so embarrassed, but I was so grateful. When I had nothing, they gave me everything. A roof over my head, food in my stomach, love to fill my soul and a path to follow and it meant the world because they didn't have much more than I did." He gulps, a hint of tears in his eyes.

"I swore to myself I would be like them one day: a giver. The people who birthed me didn't provide me any love or safety. My mama and papa, they gave me what they could. I worked to ensure I could give more." He meets my eye. "I wanted to ensure the people I love never went without, so I'm sorry for not listening to your side earlier. It's a habit I'm trying to break."

"It's your love language." I whisper, realizing how stupid I've been over this whole situation.

"My what?" He pulls back defensively.

"Your love language." I laugh. "God, I'm an idiot."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I make my students take this test at the beginning of the year to tell me what type of relationship they value most. It's a good insight." I explain, it's something I've started this year.

"And you know all of your students' languages?" He raises a brow.

"Yes." I crack my fingers. "Scarlett and Sage's is acts of service, Ashton's is physical touch, Chloe's is words of affirmation, Avery's is gift giving, Gabe's is quality time and yours is gift giving."

"That sounds like a hunk of shit." He states honestly.

"When Scarlett is stressed or upset, what is the best thing you can do for her?' I ask, already knowing his answer.

"Help." He responds without thinking. "Pick the kids up. Cook dinner."

"Why?"

"Because even though she acts like it annoys her, it's the only way she relaxes." I raise my brow as he finishes his sentence and he shakes his head. "I know my bean. That means nothing."

"What does Ashton do whenever he's had a bad day? Lost a game, done bad on a test?"

"Hugs someone."

"How does he usually show his love to Scarlett?"

"He kisse-" John shudders. "I get your point, but I do not give gifts to show my love."

"You bought Saffron a brand-new bike because she got an A on a test." I deadpan.

"So?"

"She already had a bike." And she's not very good at riding it.

"The new one was sparkly and Squirt loves sparkles." He protests, crossing his arms in defeat. "Fine, maybe I do. Sorry."

"There's nothing wrong with that." I assure him. "We just have to find a happy medium."

"I think we can do that." He grins, kissing my hand. "Now can we go eat? I'm famished."

Laughing because only he would end our first real argument like, I grab my purse and head for the door. "Sure thing, my treat."

*****

Walking down the strip later, John is begging me to hit just one more casino.

"Mel, I promise, just a few games." He whines like a child.

"No." I shush him. "Now people watch with me."

"I need to get you drunk." He decides. "Drunk Mel always agrees with my bad ideas."

"What does it say of you if your girlfriend must be drunk to agree with your sober decisions?" I question as a group of bachelorettes in bright pink sashes and scarce clothing dash by.

Remembering my own bachelorette, I cringe.

"That my girlfriend needs to relax." He grins. "It's Vegas, baby. Let me buy you a shot, or 6."

"That is one gift you don't need to give me." I assure him, resting my elbows against a railing.

Joining me, he leans back. We watch a group of older men stumble out of a strip club, one falling to the cement. A few college kids dart by, high on life as they celebrate someone's 21st birthday.

The doors to the building across from us fly open and we watch as a drunk couple stumble out of the wedding venue, the veil flying off the bride's head as her groom sluggishly kisses her among the crowd.

"We can get married now." John says and I clear my head to look at him in disbelief.

"Come again?"

"We've had our first big fight." He grins. "We went days without speaking and shouted and everything. So now, if everyone is to be believed, we can get married now."

"Is that so?"

"Yes." He nods, leaning in. "Except there's one thing I need to know before."

"What?" I panic.

"I need to know your love language."

"John." I sigh but he tsks. Rolling my eyes, I give in. "Words of affirmation."

"I should've known." He grins triumphantly. "Melissa Miller, my sweet, beautiful, affectionate, strong, compassionate, determined, stubborn ass–" the sweet smile on my face turns to a glare but he continues. "loving, intelligent, perfect fiancé. Mi cielo, Will you do me the honor of picking a date for our wedding?"

"Tomorrow." I assure him. "Tomorrow we will pick a date."

*****

Walking back to our hotel from souvenir shopping, John gets distracted by a stand with the ugliest hats known to man.

"Oh my God." He mutters, stopping dead in his tracks to admire a 3 foot tall flamingo monstrosity.

"You don't need it." I chide him.

"But the kids." He states, not removing his eyes from the hats.

Remembering the fact I stopped him from buying Saffron a Gucci scarf earlier just because it had pretty colors, I decide to let him have this one. "I'm going to the bench over there."

"Take these." He shoves almost all of the bags into my arms and immediately closes the last few feet between us and the cart. The owner puts his phone down, all too eager to take the most from John's wallet.

Shuffling over to a bench, I set the bags down and check my phone. Besides a picture of Whiskers from Chloe and a text from Saffron saying she wanted a hug when I got back, there's nothing interesting.

Risking a glance back over to John, I snap a picture of him trying on a crocodile hat with the tail flapping behind him. I'm in love with a man-child. Turning back to our stuff, I collide with a man who smells strongly of alcohol and sweat.

"I'm so-" I start, eagerly pushing myself away from the stranger but his grip tightens.

"Melissa?" A voice I know all too well asks and I try to hide my gasp as I slowly look up into a familiar set of glassy brown eyes.

"Henry." I force my arm out of his grasp.

He staggers back, eagerly eyeing me. "You look... good."

Taking in my ex-husband, disgust rolls around in my stomach. He still looks the same, muscles and a buzzcut that earns him a liking to G.I. Joe. Tattoos spiral across his skin, some new ones I don't recognize. The sight of him sickens me; however, I can see the cracks in his image. Bloodshot eyes, busted knuckles from undoubtedly fighting with someone, various shades of lipstick on his white shirt.

A hero fallen from glory, he just doesn't know it yet.

"Wish I could say the same." I finally admit, straightening my spin despite the flash of panic that surges through me.

A sneer spreads across his face at my attitude before he studies my bag. "Prada and Gucci. Since when can a teacher make these big buys?

"They can't."

"So then what are you? A sugar baby? Everyone wondered what happened to you once you left town. I thought you were well on your way to becoming a hag, but this is even better. You became a whore."

White hot anger flashes through me but I keep my cool. This shouldn't bother me. He shouldn't bother me.

"After all, it's better to fuck someone who can't lock you in with a baby." He smirks, evil enjoyment dancing in his eyes.

My eyes sting as I study the ground. A wound that will never truly heal rubbed with salt. Before I can excuse myself or tell him to fuck off, a voice distracts me.

"Mel, look!" John runs up and throws an arm around me, using his other hand to shove the bag in my face to see the six animal hats he bought. "The kids are going to love them."

The complete amusement on Henry's face grows as John finally notices him and balks. "What's with the John Cena wanna be?"

Henry sends him a murderous look and I swallow my nerves. "John this is Henry, my ex-husband."

The limp arm around my shoulder tightens as John studies him with complete disinterest, like a piece of garbage.

"Who's the clown?"

"Henry, this is John. My fiancé." I offer proudly, leaning into his comforting touch.

"Fiancé." He tries the word out. "When's the date?"

"May 28th, 2020." I fight the urge to squeal, in a little over a year we'll be married. We wanted to do sooner but John has to go overseas for months to close out a few deals. Plus we have to be prepared to help Scarlett with the transition from high school to college. A vast majority of her support system will be gone and we can't afford to be away. Then add on me wanting a full honeymoon without school interrupting and we landed on May.

While it sucks, we know it will all be worth it and that's all that matters.

"Well, I'll be damned. A new man and kids?"

"The kids are–" I start to explain, not wanting to take credit for the lovely humans I played almost no role in raising. The wound inside stings a little more.

"My godkids and I are so lucky to have Melissa." John cuts me off, kissing my hand. "She is the light of my world."

"So no real kids." Henry tsks, in full jackass mode. "What a shame."

"Not yet." John's grip tightens as he reigns in his anger. "Soon we'll have a house full of babies."

"Good luck with–"

"How's Jane?" I demand, bitter sadness filling my heart as I think about my half-sister. What a fool I am to mourn my relationship with a woman as horrible as her.

Henry grunts like an ape, spitting on the ground. "At home with the baby. She's fine. Getting fat, but fine."

"You must feel so blessed." I smile. "A doting wife. A baby. Plenty of alcohol and strippers to keep you pleased. All the reasons I mourned our relationship are coming back."

"Listen here, you little–" Henry steps forward, anger radiating off of him but I grab our bags and John's shaking hand before he can throw a punch.

"We must be going. We have a family to get back to. Send my sister and niece my love, I'm sure it's the only kind she'll receive." I snap, brushing by him. Even if I don't really mean it.

"Bitch!" He shouts but I keep pushing myself to walk faster.

Step after step my anger grows until I'm ready to explode.

"Melissa, stop." John begs, slowing down. I'm determined to drag him but it's no use. "Talk to me."

"I'm fine." I snap.

"No, you're not." He's right. "What's wrong."

"What's wrong is I used to love that man. What's wrong is he has what I want so desperately and he doesn't appreciate it. He has a beautiful baby at home and he couldn't care less." It pisses me the fuck off.

I went through hell because I couldn't give him a child and now that he has one, he's in Vegas getting trashed. It's disgusting.

"We will have children."

"John, it takes a year to be qualified for adoption. By the time we get married and get qualified, we'll be old." I admit. "I don't want to be an old parent."

It sounds selfish but I had old parents. I want to do things with my kids. I want to be active in all parts of their life. I want my husband to be able to play catch with them outside, not be locked indoors because his bones are frail.

John purses his lips, watching me with what has to be horror. "Then marry me."

"I am marrying you." I snap, just not soon enough.

"No, mi cielo." He steps closer. "Right here. Right now. Marry me. We can start the process as soon as we can and start our family."

"But..." I try to fathom a thought but none come to mind.

"Don't think, just say yes."

"The kids will kill us if we get married without them. Your friends are expecting the party of the century." I remind him in a daze.

"A marriage certificate is just a piece of paper." He waves me off. So romantic. "We can get married, act like it never happened and have a wedding on our anniversary. The kids and our friends would never know."

"They'll know if we adopt children before we're married." That's sorta a major life event.

"It takes so long to be qualified, we'll be fine." He says and I realize he's put real thought into this. "So, what do you say?"

"John, where would we get married?" I wonder over the pounding of my heart. "What would I wear?"

"We're in Vegas!" He shouts. "We can get married anywhere and shit, I don't care what you wear." He motions to my yellow sundress. "You look perfect."

Trying to collect my breath, I lean against a wall. He's gone insane. Absolutely batshit crazy and I'm considering this proposition.

"Don't think, Mel." He tilts my chin up. "Just marry me."

As our lips meet, a sense of belonging washes over me. "Okay."

*****

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