Fall break is supposed to be a time where a teacher can get away from her students.

Most teachers; however, aren't dating a man whose two godchildren are students. So, I'm on vacation, headed to New York City for the 10th time with my boyfriend, his five godchildren and the oldest's boyfriend- who is also my student.

It's a good thing I love them.

Ten months ago, I was miserable and haunted by the fact I would never be able to have kids or a family. Especially since the man who was supposed to be mine, who I was supposed to build a family with, left me. But, when I least expected it, John managed to give me a family better than I could've ever dreamed of. The kids aren't ours and I never thought I could love them the way he does. I wasn't there for their births. I didn't get to experience the weird food-based baby reveals or the birthday parties. The Rhodes kids, though, I can't help but love them.

"Mel, can you hold my bag?" Sterling asks, trying to hide the camera hidden behind his back as we board the private plane.

"If you think you can film a prank and get away with it, think again." I try to fight the teacher voice, but fail.

"But Uncle John said we could!" Silver protests and I roll my eyes. John would be the biggest pushover parent in the world.

"Sit down and try to behave." Ashton McClain orders, gently shoving the twins aside he boards. "I don't want to drug your sister and you two fucking around will only stress her out more."

Hiding a smile behind my laptop, I watch as he pushes them around. Out of all my students, he surprised me the most. Never in my life did I think the arrogant brat that walked into my classroom would become the biggest softy in the world.

He gives me hope.

"I told Uncle John private was a bad idea." Sage murmurs.

Before anyone can respond, we're distracted.

"She's coming, someone grab the anxiety meds and the NyQuil." Saffron orders as she runs to the twins.

Oh, this is going to be good.

"Do you know how many private jet crashes there are a year?" A shrill voice demands, and we all watch as my boyfriend drags his oldest godchild, Scarlett, onto the plane. "Too many and it's an issue when the plane is off balanced. We have a lot of people with heavy bags and even heavier egos."

"Hey!" The boys all protest at once. I mean, she ain't wrong.

"Bean, we'll be fine." John sighs. "Punk, work your magic."

Finding it amusing that my boyfriend, who couldn't stand this kid 8 months ago is now begging him for help. Ashton pulls Scarlett into the seat and we make it through take off with her closing her eyes, holding onto him for dear life and threatening to castrate the twins for filming it.

I thought she would calm down once we got in the air but she's even more tense. Taking pity on Ashton's hand, I clear my throat. "Scar, it's a long flight and I have AP Lang and AP Lit papers to grade. Would you be willing to take a stack?"

"Absolutely." She moves to grab the Lit papers and a red pen before crawling into her boyfriend's lap. John sends me an appreciative glance and I squeeze his hand.

Almost two hours into our trip, Ashton lets out a protest. "Sweetheart, you just gave my paper a B-plus."

"I know." She swats his head away.

"But you helped me write that!"

She sends him a look. "Did you really think I would make your essay better than my own?"

"What was wrong with it?"

"You can look at all my notes." She extends the paper and he flips through it.

"You could've been a little biased with your grading." He pouts. "After all, I'm the one who makes you–"

"Too far." The twins cough and he stops talking before John can murder him on the plane.

"I was biased, now shut up so I can read Ella's paper that deserves a C-minus, but I'll probably give a C-plus." Scarlett snips.

"Hey, be nice to my lady." Sage orders, defending his girlfriend.

"Maybe your lady should be nicer to me when I edit Avery's paper before her's. Especially since Avery's paper takes 10 minutes and her's takes closer to 50 to work through." Do I have a student whose paper hasn't been edited by her?

"Fair point." Sage relents. "Maybe a straight C would be fair."

"That was a nasty fight." Ashton whistles.

"It wasn't a fight." Sage argues. "She was just short tempered that day."

"I know." Scarlett sighs. "It sucked but oh, well."

Ashton shifts and I see a comment about to come from him, but he holds it back. Kissing the side of her head; he plays with her hair as she continues to grade. Interesting.

I need to stop. I'm becoming too invested in my students lives.

*****

It's hard to believe there was a time when visiting this city felt like a dream. For years I tried to save up, but I got married so young. I felt too bad to go without my ex-husband, but he never wanted to go when he was home. My half-sister, Sara, said she'd go with me but now I'm thankful she didn't.

John heard me say I wanted to visit once, in passing, and he made my dream come true. Since then he always brainstorms new reasons to visit the city. This excuse was Ashton and the younger three kids have never experienced the city, so we have to go.

Four days in my favorite place didn't take much convincing.

Even if it includes five kids and a lot of chaos.

"Oh my God." Ashton whistles as we walk into the Waldorf hotel.

Funny, I said the same thing when I walked in here for the first time. John loves this hotel and I'm not entirely sure why since he owns two in this city and could stay there for free. He chooses to pay for this.

"Sterling, video me sliding down this handrail." Silver orders and I'm so used to their antics that I don't react.

Herding the kids upstairs, I watch John mentally die as he hands Scarlett a key to her own room with Ashton. So much progress. Moving into our suite, I resist the urge to crawl into bed and walk out to the terrace.

Listening to the chaos of the night, I watch the cars inch through the roads and the tiny people move. The door open and closes behind me and I sigh as John hugs me. "I love watching the lights."

"I love watching you watch the lights." He admits.

"Thank you for bringing me here." I could live here, and it would still feel like a dream.

He kisses me. "Always, but why don't we get some sleep."

Shivering from the night air, I follow him inside.

*****

After eating the best breakfast ever at a restaurant I know John pulled strings to get us into, we're heading for the best and worst part of New York– Times Square.

"Squirt, come here." John orders as we step out of our Uber. "Hold my hand and stay close."

The twins snort. "She's so small."

Anxiety instantly shows on Scarlett's face and Ashton squats. "Squirt, get on my shoulders."

"Are you crazy?" Scarlett demands. "She's not as light as she seems."

"It's fine." Ashton waves her off and Saffron is suddenly taller than Sage when Ashton stands back up with her attached to him.

"That works too." John mutters as we head through the crowds.

Our entire day is spent playing tourist. We go into all the crazy stores and stay way to long in the M&M shop. The twins record a prank of tapping on peoples' shoulders and running off. Sage watches them like a hawk. Ashton leads Scarlett, distracting her from the large crowds as they people watch, Saffron steady on his shoulders the entire time.

Lingering back with John, I bump his shoulder. "You okay?"

"Still adjusting to not being their favorite person anymore." He sighs and I roll my eyes. Ladies and gentlemen, my man is jealous of a teenager. I'm so lucky.

"He's just trying to help." I remind him. "Plus, it gives me more time with you."

We end up in Central Park, the twins convincing us to remake the friends opening in the fountain and like idiots, we agree. I'm a woman in her late 30's and I'm okay with partaking in two 8th graders' schemes.

John and I end up in a carriage ride with Saffron. She squeezes between us and holds my hand as she stares in awe of everything from the horses to the squirrels we see.

I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and it pulls her attention back to us. She flashes me the biggest smile I've ever seen. "Mel, I'm happy you're a part of our family."

"So am I, Sweetie." I gasp.

"I love you." She throws her arms around me and I hug her back. Looking at John, who seems almost as emotional as I feel, I'm unable to fathom words as I kiss her hair.

"I love you too." And I'm so lucky I do.

*****

"We have to take a picture on the steps." Scarlett orders as we arrive at the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

"Just like Gossip Girl." Sage agrees, throwing his phone at Ashton.

I swear, these children never cease to amaze me.

Wandering and looking at all the art, I'm surprised by how calm they are. I've never seen all five Rhodes Kids be so quiet. Studying a painting by some artist whose name I can't pronounce, I almost scream as a voice interrupts my thoughts.

"It's stunning, isn't it?"

"Sterling, you almost gave me a heart attack." I throw a hand over my heart, and he apologizes.

"Sorry, I guess I should've announced myself, but I got excited." He grins sheepishly. "Mom tried to recreate this piece once just for fun."

"How'd she do?" I ask tentatively.

"Mom never got the flowers right." Silver interrupts. "One night she threw a paint brush at dad when he said they looked like blobs."

They share a laugh.

"Did she ever get them right?"

"No, but she didn't care." Silver says, his urge to constantly do crazy things forgotten as he drifts down memory lane.

"Why?"

"Because mom said we were like flowers." Sterling says. I'm beginning to think John was lying when he insisted she wasn't a hippy. "You have to be gentle with them in order to get them perfect. Too many harsh movements could turn them ugly."

"But everything could be fixed with extra layers of love and some patience." Silver concludes.

"Well then." I swallow the lump in my throat. "Your mom was smart."

I definitely am a flower that was nourished with love and time. Resting a hand on each of their shoulders, I let them explain every piece we see. Their interpretations differing and making it all the more interesting.

*****

Running through the city that never sleeps with people who don't sleep makes me extra exhausted but we're always finding something new to do. We devour frozen hot chocolate, eat street vendor hotdogs, ferry out to the Statue of Liberty and shop quite literally till we drop. And now, John has managed to get tickets to see Hamilton.

I'm definitely not with him for his money, but it has its perks.

While everyone runs to a bathroom break, Sage fills in the seat next to me. Studying him as he carefully reads the pamphlet, I smile. "You excited?"

"Beyond." He grins. "We used to see a show every year. Mom and dad, they both–"

He stops himself and I grab his hand. It's okay if he doesn't want to say it.

"They both loved the theatre. We would see three or four a year back home and one or two during our trip to the city. They fascinate me." He admits and I'm honored he trusted me enough to say that.

"What fascinates you?"

"This is gonna make me sound like Sterling, but the show is like a well-oiled machine. The cast and production work so hard to make the show move perfectly. It's sorta like how our family was."

Oh, honey.

"We lost our parents and it got rough, but the show must go on and it did and we got better. Then we added more people like Ashton and you to the mix and it has gotten smoother."

We added. They chose to let me into their lives. Not just John but them too. Squeezing his hand as I notice the twins laughing in the crowd, I hug him. "I'm happy to be a part of the show."

*****

After yet another tiring day, John made dinner reservations at some ridiculously fancy restaurant, so we all hurry back to shower and change.

"Mel." John knocks on the bathroom door. "I'm all dressed, I'm gonna go see if the twins need help tying their ties."

"Okay." I offer, turning the hair dryer on.

Thirty minutes later, I'm knocking on the Rhodes kids' door. There are some muffled words and the sound of someone being slapped before the door opens. Looking down, I take in Saffron dressed in pajamas and wet hair.

"Squirt, you were supposed to put on a pretty dress." I try not to panic. We have time.

"No, I have something to tell you." She rolls her eyes.

"Are you feeling okay? Do I need to get Scarlett?" I ask, pressing a hand to her forehead.

"I'm fine, please listen." She begs and I stop. Taking a dramatic breath and leading me to the bed, she smiles. "I know when we met, things were a little rough."

That's one way to say it. That spaghetti stain never came out of my dress.

"But we got over that and I'm happy we did. You give good hugs and read to me even if I can read it myself. You make us laugh and let us bake cookies whenever we sleepover at your house. You make life fun and I love you for that and I just love you because I do. Scar says we can have reasons but when it really matters, love is just because it feels right."

"Oh, Saffron, Honey, I-I- I don't know what to say. I love you because it feels right too. You are my perfect snuggle companion, don't tell your Uncle." He would pout. "But why are you telling me all this when you should be getting dressed?"

"I guess it's our turn." Sterling clears his throat and I turn to find the twins coming from the bathroom.

"You two aren't dressed either." These children will give me a heart attack.

"Relax, Mel, I promise we're good." Silver assures me as he connects a laptop to the TV.

Getting comfortable and checking the time, I wait.

"We're not very good with our words so we made this." They hit the button and I watch videos from these last few months flash across the screen.

The interrogation– I mean interview– they gave me after meeting. The nights of laughter and dinners that followed. The time we spent this summer in Miami. Including our fishing trip from hell where Sage and I both fell in the water. My surprise birthday where they scared me so badly, I almost passed out.

Tears and laughter are inevitable as it ends on a clip of me scolding the twins for trying to play a prank on some poor pigeons earlier today.

"The moral of the story is, you're pretty cool, Mel." Silver states.

"We're happy you're dating Uncle John." Sterling sums up.

"We love you." They share a look.

"I-I love you two, too." Fanning my face with one hand, I pull them in for a hug with the other. "You're both very special."

"We know." Of course, they do. A knock sounds at the door. "That's our que."

I'm forced to walk to the door, and it opens to reveal Sage standing there with his arm extended out. Taking it, I let the door close behind us. "I'm not even going to comment on the lack of nice clothing."

He snorts. "Mel, it's okay, but I appreciate that you worry so much. You take care of us, even if it's not your job. You worry if we're okay after playing football and ensure we've gotten enough rest on the more stressful days. And you do it even when Uncle John isn't in town."

"It's sorta my job to care for you and Scarlett at least." I try to joke but so many emotions are soaring through me.

"I know and you're the best teacher I've ever had when it comes to my dyslexia. You make me feel like a normal student and that's amazing."

"You are a normal student." I correct him. It all starts with what you think about yourself.

Taking a second, I notice he's led us downstairs. "I know."

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"There's a car waiting." He points to a black sedan and we move towards it. "I just wanted to tell you how much I love and appreciate you."

Hugging him tightly, I take a moment to collect myself. "I love you too. So much."

Opening the car door, I'm taken off guard to find Ashton and Scarlett sitting there but no John. Watching Sage wave as we drive off, I raise a brow. "Do I even want to know?"

They smile and I relax. At least they're both dressed up. Maybe I miss understood John and it's just a double date. This should be interesting.

"I ask myself that on the daily with this family." Ashton offers and I smile. So do I.

"We're not that bad." Scarlett hisses, swatting his chest. "But I was horrible when you started to date Uncle John and for that, I'm sorry."

"Scarlett, we've already had this conversation. I'm not holding a grudge." I was never mad in the first place. She was a scared teenager mad at the world.

"I know, but I'm still sorry." She smiles sheepishly. "You're a great teacher and your class is my favorite. I like reading, but I love that it gives me a reason to see you every day."

Never did I think Scarlett Rhodes would say her favorite part of class was seeing me.

"You're pretty amazing and you've made Uncle John so happy, which makes me happy. You make an amazing meatloaf and you willingly give up your breaks to spend them with us even though we're as stressful as an entire school. That makes you a super hero in my eyes." She glances down and squeezes Ashton's hand. "Plus you gave us that project, which helped us grow closer."

"I would've gotten close to you no matter what, Sweetheart, but the project did help." Ashton relents and it warms my heart.

Two of my students I'm the proudest of. "I'm lucky I get to spend my breaks with you guys. They're a lot more fun than the ones I had to spend by myself." I wink, but it's true.

The Rhodes kids make me feel alive and in the moment. They dare me to do things, sometimes stupid things, and like the mature woman I am, I listen. They give me hugs and make me feel valued.

"I love you, Mel." Scarlett awkwardly hugs me in the car.

"I love you too." I sniffle as the car stops. My door opens I get out before noticing they're staying in. "Aren't you coming?"

"No, we have a fancy restaurant to get too." Ashton grins.

"But Uncle John is right behind you." Scarlett waves as the car heads down the road.

Shaking my head, I turn to find John leaning up against the door of whatever building we're at. "Why do I feel like I'm the victim of some scheme?"

Grinning like the devil, he grabs my hand. "Would it be my family if you weren't a part of something?"

No, I suppose not.

Opening the door, he kisses me. "You look beautiful."

"Thank you." I blush, taking in the stunning chandelier hanging from the ceiling and the staircase. "Where are we?"

"You'll see."

Countless steps and an elevator ride later, I find myself on the roof of a building. Gasping in awe, I spin in a circle to study the lights of the city. "It's like magic."

He chuckles and I finally recognize where we are. "John, tell me you did not rent out the rooftop of the Rockefeller Centre just so we could be alone out here."

The fact I can see the Empire State Building excites me so much, I almost get distracted.

"No, I rented out the rooftop of the Rockefeller Centre so I could do this." He says and I turn to find him on one knee. "I figured the Top of The Rock was the best place to give you a rock."

Everything from tonight hits me at once. The kids and their sweet messages. The secrecy. The love. "Johnathan."

"Melissa Miller, you make me the happiest man alive and I know it's a little soon, but I've learned with life, you just have to take chances. We could die tomorrow and if we do, I'd want die knowing you knew that I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He states confidentiality, tugging slightly at his tie.

"I know life is crazy and mine is even crazier, but, Melissa Miller, I would be honored to have you as my wife, my best friend, my lover, my companion, my strict other half so I don't spoil our kids to death, my love." He professes and as much as my heart wants to melt into a puddle of goo, those words stab a still heeling wound.

"John..." I try to form words but my lips wobble as tears spill over. "I-I-I- I can't give you that."

"What do you mean?" His nervous smile morphs to concern as he rushes to comfort me.

Please don't make me say the words, but he deserves to at least know why. Swallowing the pill stuck in my throat, I sigh. "I can't give you a family and you deserve one. You'd be an amazing dad and I know you'd make them the luckiest kids alive. Hell, you already make your kiddos feel that way."

There, I said my ugly truth. I feel like I've been stripped naked but it's my reality. I can't give him a baby belly and a dramatic hospital delivery. I can't give him 18 years with kids who look and act just like us.

Strong arms pull me into a hug, and he kisses my head. "Mi celio, our family doesn't have to crumble because you can't do something. If you don't want a family at all, that's okay because we already have a handful of kiddos to love and spoil."

"No, it's not that." I croak. " I physically can't carry a pregnancy." We've been over this. "You deserve to experience that."

"But I'd be honored if you'd allow me the opportunity to have a family with you." He ignores me. "We could do IVF or a surrogate."

"Do you know the rates of success those procedures have?" I question. They are so low. "John, I can't go through the pain and waiting to experience the same heartbreak of knowing I can't give you that." There is no real chance of that happening. I know that. My ex-husband knew that. Why can't he understand?

" I'd spend every dime in my bank account if that's what you wanted." He wipes my tears away. I know he means it and that takes my breath away. " Or we could..." His voice dies out, emotion over taking him.

Pulling my head back, I silently encourage him to talk.

"The people who created me were people I never loved. My parents, the people who loved for me and cared like I was their own, were Daniel and Sofia Rhodes. I know what it's like to be a small child in need of love and I would be honored if you wanted to adopt a kid so they could experience all of our love."

Crying like a baby, I want to say no. Save myself from the pain of the unknown but looking into John's eyes, I nod. "I'd like that, if... you'd be okay with never having someone who looks like you."

"I don't care about what my children look like." He states. "As long as they're happy, healthy and loved by us."

"That sounds beautiful." I whisper. "I'd like that."

His eyes widen as he fumbles for the ring he tucked away. "Melissa Miller, will you marry me and be my future adoptive baby momma?"

Laughing, I knock him to the ground with a hug. "Yes. Yes. Yes. A million times yes."

Spending the night under the stars with the man I love, I imagine a future brighter than I ever allowed myself to imagine.

*****

I'm crying in the club rn.

AHH, this chapter has been written forever. I just had to wait for the last chapter to be a reality. The relationship she has with the kids melts my heart.

I love Melissa Miller.