A/N: Hello Fruity babies, your Fruit Mommy is here. Now this year has been the absolute pits for me, but I am updating this story. As well as the rest, hopefully. I actually wrote this chapter at the beginning of the year, but I got so self conscious that I felt it wasn't good enough to post. But you know what I am posting it. Take it as I wrote it.
Enjoy!

Gerard woke up to a hangover as usual. His pounding head barely even hurt him anymore. The nauseousness was greatly appreciated because it took him back to those times when he used to throw up from morning sickness. As strange as it was even those memories were happy to him. Because it was when his little bear was alive and well within him.

The red haired man quickly went to the bathroom to puke. His head pounded more once he finished emptying his stomach contents. He just hugged the cold toilet bowl as he waited for the pain to subside. After a few minutes he stood up to look in the mirror. Pale skin and dead eyes met him. Gerard couldn't help himself as he stripped off his night shirt. He couldn't help gazing at the ugly scar on his stomach.

Gerard cried because that was all he had left of his son. The scar used to be bigger and less attractive, but now it was healing. And he hated it. He wanted it to stay hideous forever. In some twisted way he wanted to hold on to the pain unlike he could do with his son. Once it healed completely he’d be truly empty. Gerard cried harder at that thought.

Dallon laid in the bed with his back to the bathroom. He awoke to the same thing. His husband throwing up from too much liquor and then crying to his image in the mirror. It has been his daily routine since he came home from the hospital. The tall man only sighed as his vicodin induced haze was fading and his brain was forced to address the pain in his chest. A pain for his husband, a pain for his little bear, and a pain for what today was.

Dallon finally got up when he heard Gerard in the shower. He thought he might as well make sure he’s not trying to drown himself again. Sadly he caught him one time trying to do that very thing. He took off his clothes and stepped in behind him. He was slightly shocked to find Gerard actually just taking a shower.

Dallon was only slightly shocked because he knew that his husband wouldn't attempt suicide only until after he saw their son on his special day. They have been visiting his grave every month on the same day since the funeral. But today was extra special. Today was their little bear’s first birthday. As weird as that sounded they were going to celebrate it. Mainly for Gerard’s sake. Not to say Dallon didn't want to celebrate, but it was hard to be happy when all you wanted to do was crawl into a ball and die.

Dallon held Gerard from behind. His head laid on his shoulder. No words just the sounds of the water spraying them spoke for them. Gerard sighed as he felt Dallon squeeze him tighter. They did love each other, but the closeness did more harm than good.

“Dallon….do you blame me?” Gerard finally broke the silence.

“......yes…” Dallon whispered. He hated himself for it, but it was true. The red haired man sniffed as he held back tears.

“A-and…..do you hate me?” His voice broken, but he needed to know.

“.......yes…..” The tall man admitted as tears slowly fell from his eyes. Gerard whimpered until he was full on crying. Dallon hated that noise. The sound of his husband breaking down for what seemed like the hundredth time. He then pinned Gerard to the shower wall. “STOP IT! CAN'T YOU SEE I HATE IT WHEN YOU CRY!?” He yelled.

“B-but….b-but…..YOU HATE ME AND BLAME ME FOR WHAT HAPPENED!” Gerard cried as he tried to struggle against his strong grip.

“And you blame me for not getting you to the hospital in time.” Dallon said sadly. Gerard stopped his struggles and stared at him. “You hate me because I promised that everything was going to be fine…..I know all of this. My husband loves and despises me and vice versa…...because we both lost something that can never be replaced….and with that lost went our love for each other…” Dallon met his husband's stare.

They stood there under the warm water. Just gazing at the sadness in each other's eyes. Dallon leaned in and kissed Gerard. The shorter man wrapped his arms around the taller one’s neck. Their kiss soon heated up as muffled moans and groans were heard. Dallon picked Gerard up as he slid his dick inside him. Gerard gasped at the feeling of his husband filling him up.

They went at a rough yet slow pace. Gerard bit his lip as he tried to hold back his moans once Dallon hit his sweet spot. While Dallon buried his face in the crook of Gerard’s neck to muffle his groans. He couldn't get enough of the feel of his husband or his pretty moans.

“Gerard do you?” Dallon asked out of breath.

“Do it Dallon…..please.” Gerard begged. They were nearing their end and as they both tried hard to keep going. Tears started to build up in both their eyes. “NO STOP PLEASE I CAN'T!” Gerard screamed as he pushed Dallon away.

Dallon quickly pulled out and came on the shower floor. Gerard cried as he felt himself cum down his leg. “DAMN IT GERARD I ASKED YOU AND-”

“YOU DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT EITHER SO DON'T PUT THIS ALL ON ME DALLON!” Gerard yelled back. He slide down the wall and sat on the floor. Just crying his eyes out. While Dallon punched to shower wall and cried angry tears that soon turned to sad sobs.

They have been going through these periods of trying to be intimate, but the thought of Dallon possibly getting Gerard pregnant again both excited and terrified them. They so wanted to start over again, be happy with a new baby. But how could they really be happy without their one and only little bear? Or something worse, what if it happened again? They didn't want to take that risk, yet they still tried to build themselves up to deal with it. Only to fail and cry out of guilt. Like by trying was in a way trying to replace their son.

                              🌒~🌘

They were in the car driving to the cemetery. Silence seemed to be the only way they communicated. Gerard slid his hand into Dallon's as he looked out the window. Dallon intertwined their fingers. He had to blink away tears. Even holding hands brought up memories of that night. It was hard, but they held onto each other.

“D-dallon…” Gerard sniffed as they parked. He was shaking. He would always do this and beg to leave, but if they left then he’d scream and break everything around their house. Dallon knew this all too well and didn't want to replace their furniture for a third time.

“Come on honey, you can do this.” Dallon smiled at him. Gerard turned to him, his hand still trembling. Yet he managed to get out of the car. They walked slowly to his grave. Dallon had on his nice black on black suit. Plain yet classy. Gerard had on a long sleeve black polka dot shirt with a grey sweater vest and black pants. He also had on makeup as well as had his hair in a pretty faux hawk. While Dallon had a smile on his face and that old twinkle in his eye.

They were always as they were before on these days. Or they appeared to be this way. They held hands and carried gifts for their son. A balloon, flowers, and a toy. Gerard stopped once he saw that pretty little marble headstone.

“D-dallon....please I-” Gerard slowly backed away. But his husband’s grip on his hand prevented him from running back to the car.

“No Gerard we are going to spend some time with our little bear alright?” Dallon told him.

“B-but Dallon…..I can't see him like that...not again…I promise if you take me home I won't get mad just please don't make me.” Gerard whimpered as he pleaded with him. The tall man knew better. He’d fell for these words before just to end up in a fight later on at home.

“No Gerard, besides don't you want our son to see how gorgeous his mama bear is?” Dallon smiled and wiped the red head’s tears away. Gerard giggled and agreed.

They sat down in the grass and talked to their son. They only spoke of good things to share. They didn't want him to know how much they were missing him.

“Oh we brought you gifts sweetie.” Gerard beamed. “We got you this nice balloon, Dallon show him.” He was jittery with happiness.

“Happy Birthday little bear.” Dallon said joyfully as he tied the balloon to his son’s grave. It had an image of a cute cartoon train on it.

“Oh and we got these lovely sunflowers. We just wanted a little sunshine for our ray of light.” Gerard smiled and laid the flowers down. “And we got a special surprise since it’s your special day…..tah dah!” He pulled out a cute little stuffed blue and white polka dot elephant. “See it's the toy that we had made for when you…..y-you…”

“Gee-” Dallon tried as he put his hand on his shoulder.

“I'm fine Dal.” Gerard sniffed and shook off his hand. “Now where was I…..oh yeah your elephant. It squeaks when you squeeze it. Isn't that fun?” He added with a big smile. He giggled as he played with the toy to show their son how it worked. “We even named it for you…...his name is Beebo…..s-see it was gonna be your nickname and…” He began sniffling towards the end.

“Gee w-why don't we-” Dallon attempted to defuse the situation before it started.

“Brendon Boyd Weekes….” Gerard said with tears in his eyes.

“Gee…” Dallon tried again.

“Brendon….Boyd W-weekes….” Gerard whimpered as he moved closer to the headstone.

“Gerard please don't do this, not today.” Dallon begged as he tried to pull him back.

“BRENDON BOYD WEEKES! OH GOD MY BABY WHY!?” Gerard cried as he hugged his son’s grave tight. The cold marble only made him feel worse because his poor baby boy laid six feet under the ground.

“GERARD LET'S GO!” Dallon shouted as he peeled his husband off the headstone. “Baby I'm sorry, but mama bear and I really miss you…..b-but don't worry we’ll be back again next month alright champ?” He was getting choked up. He had to leave before he lost it too.

Dallon turned away carrying a crying Gerard. They went back to the car.

“No! No! No! I wanna stay with him please Dallon, he’s all cold alone without me…HE NEEDS ME!” Gerard cried and pounded on his chest.

“AND I NEED YOU GERARD!” Dallon snapped as he put his husband down. “YOU DON'T THINK I WANNA STAY TOO, BUT HE DOESN'T NEED TO SEE YOU LIKE THIS…..PLEASE GEE I REALLY CAN'T LOSE YOU, I LOVE TOO MUCH TO LET YOU GO!” He pleaded as he held him tight. The tall man was now shaking and crying on the shorter man’s shoulder.

Gerard was at a lost of words. So he just held his distraught husband in his arms. “I love you too Dallon…” He whispered in his ear. They sat at the car like that for a few minutes.

Once they calmed down they got inside the car and drove home. They still had a nice dinner and a small cake to help them celebrate this supposed happy day.

When they pulled up Gerard noticed something laying on their porch. He got out and walked slowly towards it. Dallon right behind him. It was a guy with a blue wool hat and covered in a baby blue blanket. They gasped at the sight.

Gerard kneeled down to inspect the man’s face. He was young. At least 27 or maybe 28. He had thick eyebrows and a narrow nose like Dallon. And he had slender cheeks and full lips like Gerard. The mysterious sleeping man also held a toy stuffed blue and white polka dot elephant close to his chest. They couldn't believe their eyes.

“D-dal…...I don't know how, b-but OUR LITTLE BEAR CAME BACK TO US!” Gerard teared up as he cradled the boy to his chest.