I sniffle loudly and wipe away the last of my tears. I give Hobi a look of deep gratitude, "I know I keep saying it. But thank you for wanting to help me. It truly means a lot."

"It's my pleasure," he answers warmly. Hobi gathers our empty plates and begins to stand up. He gestures for me to follow, "If you're not too tired, I'd be happy to give you a tour."

"Is that allowed?" I ask worriedly. "Am I allowed to see your house?"

Hobi laughs at my question and waves me off. "Of course, since you were invited. Come on. We'll go to Namjoon-ah's room. He has a fun room to explore if it's clean."

I get off the bed and follow him to the door. I rub my bloodshot eyes in an effort to erase the last ten minutes of crying from my face. Talking with Hobi helped ease the intensity of the emotions I felt but they remain in the back of my mind like a threat.

Hobi wants to help me, but that doesn't mean the others have to either. In fact, I'm not sure if I want more people knowing about this. It's still embarrassing, even if Hobi is a sweetheart about it.

We walk back into the kitchen to put our dishes away. I scan the large area and notice most of the members have already disappeared. I wonder if they fell back asleep.

"Where is everyone?" I ask curiously, standing close to Hobi as he puts the dishes into the sink.

"I'm here," Namjoon calls from the living room.

I peek over and watch Namjoon walk between the couches. He gathers up the fallen pillows and chucks them back onto their respective couches. He offers me a soft dimpled smile as he moves a crooked couch, "Just cleaning up," he explains.

I nod a few times before turning back to Hobi. He beckons me to follow him out, "Hey Joon, is your room clean? I'm giving Ara-sshi a tour."

Namjoon pauses his cleaning and thoughts for a moment. "I think so?"

"Great!" Hobi cheers, "Come with us. Do you know where everyone is?"

Namjoon leaves the living room to join us. "Jimin is in Taehyung's room to sleep. I think Yoongi-hyung is still awake. Jin-hyung and JK are making a grocery order for later," he explains as he counts off on his fingers.

"Alright," Hobi leads us down another hall and up a set of modern-esc stairs. "We'll go to Namjoon-ah's room first. If Yoongi-hyung is still awake, we'll visit him too."

 "He has been restless," Namjoon comments, following behind us. "I think he's going crazy from resting."

"Wouldn't it be nice to have a vacation?" I ask hesitantly, worried I'm overstepping my bounds. "I assume you would be exhausted from work..."

Namjoon smiles wryly, "You would think that. But no, we tend to go crazy when we have nothing to do. We're not used to having breaks."

"It's In the Soop all over again," Hobi jokes but I didn't catch the reference. "The only thing keeping him sane is producing music one-handed. You know he asked me to be his puppet the other day?"

Namjoon laughs, "That sounds like something I'd do in his position."

I watch the boys curiously and feel myself become interested in knowing exactly what they do as idols. I assume it's preparing for concerts and recording songs, but I didn't realize they produced their own music.

We reach the top of the stairs and turn down another hallway. 

Namjoon takes the lead and comes to a stop in front of a half-opened door. He peeks inside and breaths a sigh of relief. "Good, it's clean." He pushes the door open and enters first. Hobi follows close behind but I linger in the doorway.

He turns on the light and I am initially surprised by the sheer amount of faces staring back at me.

For a moment, I worry that I'm hallucinating a room filled to the brim with... bears?

Lining his shelves, his bed, his desk are varying sizes of figurines and plushies of the same cartoon-like bear. It's almost disorientating because of the little amount of sleep I received. Namjoon sits down at his desk and spins around to face us, "This is my room." He smiles easily and gestures to his massive collection, "What do you think?"

I take a slow step into his room and look over the decorations with interest. "It's very nice. I'm a little surprised by the..."

"Ryan," Namjoon finishes with a soft laugh. "It can be a little shocking. I know I have a lot."

Hobi allows himself to fall onto Namjoon's made bed. He sighs loudly and grins up at the ceiling, "It's been a while since I've come in here. It smells nice. Are you using your diffuser?"

Namjoon nods and points to the oblong diffuser on his desk. "Yep. It smells much better now."

"You're lucky, Ara-sshi," Hobi laughs as he sits up, "You came at the right time."

I laugh quietly and continue to look over the leader's room. I'm surprised he decorated his room with "Ryan". This wasn't what I was expecting. I imagined his room to be dark-toned and serious. I didn't expect it to look so... cute. It's endearing, and I think my heart just fell a little.

I glance out the window that covers the back wall. A row of trees is placed around the apartment and almost block out the beautiful Seoul horizon in the distance. The rising sun peeks over the glittering skyscrapers and casts a golden light across the land.

My heart aches at the memory of Kyu and I sitting on our university's rooftop to watch the sunset together. I remember the sweet look in his eyes. I remember the touch of his hand. I remember talking to him about my dreams and why I was attending college in the first place. It's strange to think it was only a month ago.

"Ara-sshi."

I turn my attention back on the two idols, realizing I was zoning out. I quickly wipe a tear forming in my eye and pretend like everything is compeltely fine.

No more crying.

"It looks like it's going to snow today," Hobi announces and holds up his phone. "It'll come in the evening."

Namjoon looks over my expression with careful attention. He gestures for me to come by his desk, "Here, I want you to look at this." He turns on the computer sitting on the desk and it lights up instantly.

It is like a gaming computer though I didn't peg him for the type who gamed. Namjoon clicks into Google and pulls up a few tabs of various apartments and hotel options. He finds the first link and spins in his chair to face me again. "I was looking for some options earlier, I wondered if you wanted to take a look."

"Of course," I stammer and focus on the screen immediately, praying he found somewhere for me to stay. The moment my eyes land on the price my heart sinks to the ground. I try not to wince.

Namjoon's brow furrows as he studies the page. "I tried to include the essentials in each one and focus on nice areas, but it was difficult. Many of them were already taken and others raised their prices within the hour." He moves onto another page but the result is all the same.

"I truly appreciate the effort," I answer. "I feel terrible about not having a place to stay yet."

"Don't feel bad," Namjoon argues gently. "It's not your fault. This was out of your control."

We look through a few more options but all are too expensive, despite his efforts to find the cheapest options possible. He's even come across apartments I've already seen during my own research. He is trying so hard to help me.

"Whatever happens, you should not spend a night outside," Namjoon says finally after we look through his suggestions. "Our offer still stands, of course."

"I couldn't possibly..."

"I understand you are trying to be polite," Namjoon interjects with a look of understanding. He shakes his head at me, "But I already told you, it's okay to say yes. It's not rude. We are making a sincere offer."

"I'm just worried about your reputations..." If anybody had to worry about indecency, it's them. "What if somebody finds out?"

"Then Dispatch will finally have something other than rumors to report," Hobi jokes playfully.

Namjoon picks up a wooden figure sitting on his desk and turns it over in his large hands. His sharp cornered eyes study the carving marks on the figure. "I think it would be okay for you to stay with us for the duration of lockdown. The apartment is well guarded, nobody will know unless we tell them. In my opinion, I think it would be logical for you to stay with us than risking your safety."

I remember the man from last night and shiver at the thought of spending another night outside.

Namjoon continues, "The others said they are okay with you staying with us. I think it might be your best option than risking it outside. You won't need to pay rent, of course, or pay for meals since this offer is out of genorisity. We ask for nothing but your respect in return."

"That's too much..." I argue in a weak voice, a tinge of guilt still echoing in my chest. "At least let me pay you back somehow..."

"Does that mean you'll stay?" Hobi asks with a note of excitement in his voice.

Namjoon sets his figurine back on the desk and looks up at me. "Pay us back by allowing yourself to relax," he suggests lightheartedly.

"And cooking," Hobi adds hopefully. He gives me a sideways smile that reveals his teeth. "We love cooking in this house."

"Could I stay for the night...? It'd only be for one night... maybe I'll find a place tomorrow?"

"Of course," Namjoon replies, satisfied. "But you can stay more if you need to."

I smile awkwardly and begin to feel the invisible hand brush its fingers against my throat, threatening to cut off my breath. I rub my tight throat and remind myself over and over again that it is okay. I bow to the two men, "Thank you."

Namjoon bows his head in return, "It's really no problem."

"This is going to be fun," Hobi comments happily. "It'll be nice to have a new person in the house."

"Hoseokie can you let Jin-hyung know that she'll be staying with us?" Namjoon asks, spinning around in his chair again. "We'll need more ramyeon."

Hobi jumps to his feet and mock salutes Namjoon. His smile seems to brighten the world around him. "O-kay!" With that, he leaves the room and disappears around the corner.

Namjoon stands from his chair and moves to his bed. He reaches under his pillow and pulls out a book. He smiles warmly at it and shows me the corner, "Do you like to read?"

My eyes light up at the mention of reading. The distraction of books makes the invisible hand feel less horrible. "I love to read. I actually brought my books with me!"

Namjoon's chocolate eyes light up as well. His mouth forms a wide smile, "What type of books do you read?"

"Mostly fiction," I admit sheepishly. "I'm trying to read classics though."

"I love philosophical books," he explains happily. "I love books with deeper meanings, you know? One of my favorites is Demian by Hermann Hesse. It actually helped inspire Blood, Sweat, and Tears, I don't know if you heard it..."

"Of course," I nod quickly, "that's one of the ones I know."

I remember Sena and I watching the music video with a few friends who considered themselves Army. The amount of screaming was deafening but understandable. It's difficult to wrap my head around the image of BTS and the BTS I am meeting right now. Sexy dance moves and games of the Floor is Lava just don't add up.

It only took moments for us to start talking about our favorite books, our reasons, and what fits our tastes. He ends up showing me his bookshelf and ebooks on his phone, grinning as he explains why he loves them and what they mean to him.

I tell him the story of my rebellious book report and how I wanted to receive the highest grade in the class and attempted to read War and Peace. I could barely hold it correctly and didn't understand a word since I was only eight at the time, but I tried it anyway.

"And what grade did you receive?" he asks curiously.

I laugh at the memory. "I got an A for effort, but that's about it."

Namjoon laughs loudly, his dimples reappearing in their full glory. "That's awesome."

I smile proudly and sit up straighter. "It was totally worth the lecture my dad gave me. I always challenged myself to read the biggest books I could find, even if I didn't understand them."

"That's a good way of thinking," he comments knowingly. "Curiosity is the best way to learn."

We continue talking excitedly about books and I find myself lost in the conversation. The weight in my chest feels lighter than before. I find comfort in talking about something I know so much about.

I want to remind myself that this will only last for one night. Soon I will leave this dorm and probably never speak to Namjoon again. He is, after all, still an idol. I doubt he can keep outside friends close due to his schedule and reputation.

I should enjoy this while it lasts, even if it's for one night.