I look down at the girl sleeping beside me, my arm thrown over her shoulder and pull her closer into my side. At first, I thought she was faking it but I can see the steady rise and fall of her chest and I know she's actually passed out. I'm not sure how she could possibly be asleep so close to my pounding heart.

When I woke up today, I did not expect to find myself at a ten year olds birthday party but when Becca's neighbor came knocking on the door, asking us all to come over because nobody had showed, we couldn't say no. Poor fuckin' kid. We're playing rock band, eating some food and the kids mom said she might give us some beers later too. Obviously the best part is the fact that Haven is currently passed out on me. She looks so peaceful.

"She is such a fake!" Becca finishes her turn on the drums and stomps over to us.

"Just leave her." I complain but of course, she doesn't listen.

"Wake up!" She tugs harshly on Haven's arm and I want to tell her to fuck off but I know Haven would hate me if I spoke to her best friend that way. These two confuse the hell out of me, their such bitches to each other but would defend each other to the bitter end if it came down to it. "I said wake up!"

Becca yanks on Haven's arm, pulling her off the couch with a loud thunk. Haven's tired blue eyes flutter open and land on Becca who stares down at her with irritation. I'm not stupid, I know the real reason Becca is upset, it's because of me. I made the stupid decision to flirt with Becca while Haven was having one of her days, and now Becca has a thing for me. I like Becca, she is beautiful and funny but nobody attracts me the way Haven does.

"If you are going to pretend to sleep, then just leave!" Becca screeches before stomping away, parting the sea of balloons on the floor as she goes. Haven looks up at me and like the complete idiot that I am, I say nothing. I just watch her stalk off until she's out of sight and the front door slams shut.

I jump to my feet, shoving the rock band guitar that is being held out to me away and turn down the hallway. My chest meets Beccas and we both jump back. The look on her face is warning enough, I shouldn't say anything but I do.

"You should have just left her." I whisper softly, hoping my calm tone will be enough to diffuse her.

"Why? So you could continue snuggling up to her? What's the point of being at a party if your just going to pretend to sleep?" Her high pitched voice climbs even higher as her frustration pours into her words.

"She wasn't pretending." I defend my girl even though technically she isn't my girl. I just can't help but to think of her that way. Especially when I know Haven thinks of me that way too. She came straight back to me when she saw me flirting with Becca, the idea of me paying attention to anyone else but her, drives her crazy.

"Oh please Nik, I know her much better than you do. That's why I know that she isn't serious about you, she's just dragging you along like some dog on a short leash. Haven is never going to be with you Nik, she's too self absorbed and not to mention obsessed with Taylor!" She huffs in frustration and then bites her lip as she realizes what she's just said. "And I say all of that out of love, she's my best friend Nik but I know she's just going to hurt you more."

Her eyes dart down to my wrists, she knows what lays under the bandanas I have tied around them. I feel like such an idiot for doing it, but Haven had me so fucked up the night I did it. She was so off and on, all over the place and I felt like my brain was going to explode. Jordan is the first person I've ever met that has done that to themselves. When I asked him why he did it he said because the physical pain helped to dull the mental. That's all I could think about when I took that knife to my wrists.

I narrow my eyes at her and decide to ignore what she is insinuating, I don't want to believe a word she is saying even though I've thought it all myself. But I watch Haven and I know she might be caught up on that stupid asshole who doesn't deserve her, but I'm winning her over.

"I know Haven, I don't need you to tell me who she is." I growl coldly before angling my body away from her and sliding past to head towards the front door. I know where Haven must have gone and even the promise of beers from this kids mom can't keep me away from her.