When Nik picks me up later that evening, my guard is up. I don't allow myself to melt into his arms the way I normally do; I force my smile when he tells me I look beautiful and I can't stop digging my fingernails into my palms because the pain is the only thing holding me together.

"Listen, I know you want an explanation for what happened last night." He dives right in the minute he closes the truck door. Either he can sense my mood or he has a well-planned speech prepared. "But I really don't know what else to tell you. Joey is a guy I used to hang out with, and he's a bad guy, a real piece of shit if I am being honest. Seeing him just brought back a lot of shit that I would rather not think about or talk about."

He turns to face me, his eyes boring into mine and I know he thinks this will be the end of the conversation. Is he right? Should I allow this to be the end of it and wait to see what Jennie comes up with? Can I honestly act as if I am just okay with him when I am almost positive he is keeping something from me? Will he tolerate even the slightest push for more information on this subject?

"You really don't like to look back on the past, do you?" I accuse, testing the waters for what he will allow.

"No, I don't." he shrugs nonchalantly and puts the truck in drive. "What's the point of focusing on all the shit behind you when you could just move forward?"

"Because the past makes us who we are." I retort. He must have thought I would drop it because his intentions of driving away are halted and he slams the truck back into park. He turns to me and his brown eyes are not kind.

"I don't agree."

We stare each other down and I wage an internal battle. Do I fight with him now, because if I do he may end up talking about this with Chase, he might warn him not to tell Jennie anything. If I don't drop this, I may lose my only chance at finding out what he is hiding.

"That's fine. We don't have to agree on everything. I guess I just..." and I pause, looking away from him not because I have to but because I need a moment to allow myself to become old Haven, the one capable of manipulating anyone. "I guess I just felt like maybe you were like..." I sniff and squeeze my nails into my palms so hard my eyes tear up. "embarrassed of me or something." I turn my back to him just as the tears roll down my cheeks.

"Haven please don't cry." Nik complains as he pulls me into a hug. I unbuckle my seat belt and climb into his lap, burying my face into his chest.

"You told Joey I was your 'friend' it just really got in my head. I thought that maybe... maybe," I sniff again and pause trying to think of what I could say to slam this home. Then it comes to me. "I thought that maybe Joey knows somebody that you wouldn't want aware that you were with me... like another girl or something."

"Are you crazy?" he exclaims and holds me tighter. "Haven, I could never be embarrassed of you and there is not a single girl on this planet I would rather be with than you."

I bury my face deep in the crook of his neck, making sure he feels my tears on his skin. Suddenly he tenses and grabs my arms, pushing me away from his body and holding me perfectly in view. "Wait, a minute."

Oh no, is he catching on to my game?

"Haven," he begins cautiously. "That's not why you changed your mind, right?"

I take a moment to realize what he is talking about. Of course, us having sex. I don't even consider using this train of thought to my advantage. I may be willing to bring old Haven out for a minute, but I will not tarnish that memory by using it against him.

"No." I shake my head fiercely. "Absolutely not, I promise."

I know I need to end this conversation now because these dangerous waters are too hard to tread. After planting a swift kiss on his lips I climb back into my seat and attempt to look embarrassed. "I'm sorry for breaking down like that." He eyes me suspiciously and I'm not sure if he is suspicious that I am manipulating him or if he is suspicious that I will break down crying again. "Can you just promise me that he isn't like, a tie to some ex girlfriend or something?" I blurt out quickly.

A small smile rises to Nik's face and my racing heart slows because I know he has not caught me. He takes both of my hands in his and kisses them before squeezing them reassuringly. "Babe, I promise Joey has nothing to do with an ex girlfriend."

"Okay." I murmur and settle into my seat as I lock old Haven back into the recesses of my brain where, hopefully, she will stay.

"It's never a dull moment with us, is it?" He laughs and shifts the truck into drive before peeling away from the curb.

I force a small laugh and watch him as he drives. The smile on his face is genuine, is it because he is happy to have avoided giving me details about his sketchy acquaintance Joey? Or is it because he actually finds it funny that we are such a mess? He looks over at me and his grin widens, my heart skips and I know that even though I think he is hiding something from me, I still love Nik. What I can't help but question is how much he loves me if he feels he has to keep things from me?

We drive around for two hours because I still will not go back to his house with his parents there. He calls me a chicken, and I tell him he is 100 percent correct. As we drive, I settle back into a comfortable rhythm with him. I can almost forget about the fact that I think he is hiding something from me. Almost.

I can't help but notice that he completely avoids downtown. Most likely afraid of another run in with Joey. When I mention a store I want to visit that is close by the restaurant we were at last night, he complains that he doesn't want to deal with the downtown traffic. In the spirit of keeping things normal, I don't push the issue. But I make a note of it.

We have great conversation though. That's one thing that Nik and I can do, we can talk about almost anything. He seems to get a kick out of my stories about Becca and I. I've been talking about her more since I told her about me and Nik. I guess that is probably because she has only answered one of my seven calls in the last few days. Texts go unanswered too, and I know she is angry at me. Angry and hurt. I miss her.

At about 11 p.m. Nik pulls out of the beach parking lot, we had stopped to sit on the hood of the truck and watch the sun go down behind the water. In the last ten minutes, I have probably yawned about twenty times and I am clearly not going to stop. I am tired; I have had a rather emotional day with the realization that my boyfriend may be keeping something from me, not that he knows that. Plus, there were the fake tears.

"Come on, just let me come up with you." Nik begs as he pulls the truck to a stop in front of the Hutch's condo.

"Nik," I warn, but I know my resolve is fading. Despite being secretly angry and suspicious of him, I don't want him to leave. "I don't want the Hutch's feeling uncomfortable with a stranger in their house."

He laughs as he exclaims "You were a stranger! They run an Airbnb, they have strangers in their home all the time."

This is a fair point and as a pair of headlights blindingly shine into his rear-view mirror, I decide I want him to spend the night with me again. "Fine." I whine, as if he truly is a bother to me. I think it will be better to stay with him anyway, at least when I am wrapped in his arms, and can see him smiling at me I don't think so much about what he could be hiding. If I am left alone, that's when all the thoughts will drown me.

Nik grins at me, and leans in to kiss me as a thank you. Yes, this is definitely better than being alone with my thoughts. The thank you kiss turns into a thank you make out, and my body is just starting to burn with desire when a pounding sound on the window of the truck makes me jump.

I whip around towards the noise and my jaw drops. Standing outside the truck, bright pink luggage bag in tow is my best friend. 

Becca has come to Vancouver.

Mechanically, I press the button to lower the window, the night air rushes in to greet me. With a sarcastic grin plastered on her face Becca leans in, resting one arm across the open window the other bent at the elbow, and she rests her face in her hand.

"Well, hello Nik." her eyes look past me, into the truck and I watch as she takes in his appearance. I know what she sees. The thick arms, short hair and defined jaw. I know she will be feeling what I felt when I first saw him, when I finally had a moment to think, he is ridiculously good looking.

"Hi." he chokes out the words, I turn and glare at him. I don't know why, it's not his fault my best friend is a complete psycho and turned up at the most inopportune moment.

I look back to Becca and do not allow the glare to fall from my face. What is she doing here? What is she thinking?

"What?" she asks innocently. "I figured since you like surprises so much that I would give you one." She smiles sweetly and holds her arms out to her sides. "Surprise!"

My throat tightens painfully as my heart races angrily. I have an animalistic urge to lunge out the window and attack her. She has done this on purpose. This surprise visit is not a visit at all; it is an attack and I am hopelessly unprepared. I may have missed my best friend, but at this moment all I want is for her to disappear.

I feel a small squeeze on my hand and I look down to find that Nik has intertwined our fingers. As I turn my gaze up to him, I can see an apologetic look in his eyes, no, not apologetic just pity. He knows what I am in for and he feels sorry for me.

With a quick glance back at my best friend, I place my hand on the back of Nik's neck and pull his face closer to mine. I see Becca's sarcastic demeanor fall from her face and anger replaces it. I turn my gaze to Nik and look him in the eyes before bringing my lips to his. I kiss him fiercely, leaving no questions for anybody as to where we stand.

Our lips part and I am out of the truck in the next second. I don't look back; I grab Becca's arm and dig my nails into the skin, dragging her and her stupid pink luggage behind me. The truck peels away from the curb with a screech of tires and I wonder if Nik is thinking if he will ever see me alive again.

"You're hurting me." Becca whines as she rips her arm from my grasp.

"What the fuck are you doing here!" I exclaim.

"What, as if you own the city or something? I can be here if I want to!" She yells back at me, her voice echoing off the surrounding buildings. I shush her, and look up towards the balconies, hoping nobody will be peeking their heads over to see the commotion.

"We are not doing this here." I state in a quiet voice.

"That's fine. I am so excited to see where you have been living." Becca sneers at me and stalks towards the building.

"Oh, no no no." I grab her arm again, pulling her to a stop. "I am not taking you up there so you can cause a scene in the Hutch's home. Come on, your getting a hotel."

"Rude!" Becca complains, but she stalks towards the car that had parked behind Nik's truck. It's a flashy silver thing that outshines her beat up old ford by a long shot.

"You rented a car? How long are you staying for?"

Becca stops and presses a button that opens the car's trunk, she smiles, pleased with the car's functionality. As she hauls her suitcase into the trunk she says, "I haven't decided yet. I mean, you have another what, three weeks here? Maybe I should just stay and then fly home with you." She slams the trunk closed and turns to glare at me. I glare back, my arms folded across my chest and a lump in my throat. "Are you coming with me to the hotel, or should I just turn up here in the morning?"

I roll my eyes and wrench the passenger side door open, slamming it hard when I settle into the seat. Becca comes around and slides smoothly into the driver's seat. "Don't you want to grab an overnight bag?" She asks cheerfully.

"No." I retort back. "Looks like you packed enough. I'll just borrow something of yours."

"Sounds good to me." She shrugs nonchalantly and fires the engine to life; A satisfied grin crosses her face at the smooth sound of it.