As the RV rolls to a stop outside the Hutch's condo on Sunday night, my eyes are heavy with sleep. We spent the day out on the boat again, trying to get in as much fun before heading back home. The first time out on the boat had been super fun, the second time out was absolutely amazing. Obviously, the only difference was the fact that Nik, and I were not holding back with each other anymore, but it made all the difference in the world.

I am sad that the weekend is over, although I am happy I won't be sleeping in an RV with seven other people tonight. Although, I will be sharing a bed... with Jennie. After telling her my plan to call Becca in the morning, she begged and begged for me to let her be there when I called her. So she is staying over, that way she can hold me accountable in the morning. And so she can save my life if Becca finds a way to throttle me through the phone.

"Is it terrible that we just spent the entire weekend together, and I really don't want to say goodbye?" Nik asks, as he hauls my bag into the lobby of the building.

"I feel the same way." I assure him, my brain tries to send off warning signals about the whole "goodbye" thing already being hard, but I shove the thought away.

"Call me tomorrow, after you tell her okay?" He punches the elevator button and pulls me into his arms. I inhale deeply, and the smell of pine trees and fire smoke fill my nose. I will forever relate this smell to us.

"I will." Nik cups my cheek and brings his lips down on mine. Although we have kissed close to one hundred times in the last 24 hours, my body still reacts like it is the first time.

"Goodnight Haven." he whispers and then gives me one last soft kiss.

"Goodnight." I yawn loudly, he smiles and shakes his head at me.

Jennie finishes her goodbye with Chase, which turns out to be quite passionate and grabby and then we both wave goodbye as the elevator doors close. I want to melt into the floor I am so tired.

"Are you happy?" Jennie asks as we lean into each other, watching the number climb up and up on the screen.

"I am." I admit, "but tomorrow I will be happier. No matter how she takes it."

The elevator doors open and we pull our bags down the wall towards the Hutchs suite. When we open the door, the condo is dark except for the light of the TV. Charles is snoring in his chair, and Dolores is knitting furiously on the couch. She offers us a small wave and holds a finger to her lips. We nod and quietly drag our bags to my bedroom. Jennie closes the door behind her before flopping onto my bed with a loud sigh, neither of us bother to turn on the light.

"So tomorrow is the day?"

I pull a clean pair of shorts and a tank top from the dresser and strip down, not bothering to go to the bathroom to change. "Tomorrow is the day." I confirm and crawl into bed with Jennie.

She scoots over, and I pull the blanket over the both of us. In the dark, with only the dim moonlight shining in my window, I could be laying with here with Becca. Sharing a bed, huddling under the blankets after hanging out together all weekend; This is something we have done so many times. Suddenly, my heart aches for my best friend. My best friend who could very well hate me within 24 hours. 

The sun is streaming in the bedroom window when I rub the sleep from my eyes the next morning. It's nice to wake up in my bed, not in an RV full of several other people. Although, Jennie is taking up more than her fair share of bed space. It doesn't matter though because I can't sleep any longer.

The shower calls my name, and I eagerly reply. I turn the taps as hot as I can bear, which isn't much because I am sun burnt, and allow the water to calm my frantic nerves. My mind runs through the same questions I have been asking myself since the moment I realized I had to tell Becca about Nik.

What is she going to say? How is she going to feel? Will she hate me forever for lying to her? Is she going to call me stupid for building a relationship with him again? Will she ever trust me again? I won't know the answers until I make the call.

I wash my hair, condition it and then wash my body; twice. When I run out of tasks to complete, I make some up. I shave my nearly hairless legs and armpits then scrub my feet with a cloth, willing the dirt to come off until I realize that I am scrubbing at my tan line. This is the end of the line. I turn the shower off, and wrap myself in a plush pink towel.

While sifting through my closet for the perfect outfit, Jennie wakes, and stumbles off to the bathroom. When I hear the shower start, I am relieved because this means I have at least 20 more minutes before I need to make the call. But the minutes fly by, and before I know it Jennie emerges from the steamy bathroom, grabs my phone off the dresser and tells me, "It's time, baby." My hand is trembling as I reach out and take the phone from her.

Swipe.

Contacts.

Becca.

Video Chat.

Halfway through the second ring, her face appears on my screen and the words tumble from my mouth, "I ran into Nik, like our Nik over three weeks ago, we have been hanging out and I have been lying to you and I am so sorry. Please don't hate me!"

Click, I end the call and her face disappears.

"Fuck." I whisper as I meet Jennie's eyes. She is staring at me with a dumbfounded expression on her face and then she bursts into uncontrollable laughter. I bury my face in my pillow as Jennie rolls around on the floor howling as if she has experienced nothing more funny in her life.

My phone vibrates in my hand and I drop it as if it has burned me. After three rings Jennie snatches it, slides the call open and holds the phone in front of my face.

"Did you just hang up on me!" Becca screeches through the phone. Crap, as if what I had to tell her wasn't bad enough, there is nothing Becca hates more than being hung up on.

"Did you hear what I said?" I croak pathetically as I take the phone from Jennies hand. She sits cross-legged on the floor in front of me, with wide intrigued eyes as she listens to my conversation.

"No, because what I heard was so ridiculous there is no way it's actually what you said." Becca props her phone up and pulls her hair into a high messy bun. Oh god, she really is about to launch through the phone and attack me.

"He is here Becca. He lives in Vancouver." I confess. Her face contorts from irritation, to confusion, to comprehension, and finally, to broken sadness.

"And you have been hanging out with him?" I nod in response. "Why didn't you tell me? We promised no guy would ever come between us again. After everything we went through with him, why would you hang out with him? Why would you do that to him?"

"He isn't the same person anymore," I argue, "and neither am I Becca. I tried to stay away from him, but I couldn't do it. There was something inside of me that needed to get to know him again. I wanted a second chance."

"A second chance?" she asks in disbelief "A second chance at what Haven? A second chance at making him kill himself? You thought you would have a summer fling and then leave him to pick up the broken pieces once you come home?" The louder she yells, the more my eyes fill with tears.

"It's not like that. We are just friends! Well, I mean, we were just friends but now..."

"So what, your calling to inform me that you have made one of the biggest mistakes of your life? Haven, he was in love with you and you tormented him. You made him so crazy he started cutting himself and doing drugs."

"It's not like that!" I yell at her as the tears spill down my cheeks.

"I cared about him! I actually wanted to be with him but you always had to reel him back in with your stupid games." she shrieks back at me.

"It's not my fault that he loved me and he didn't love you!" I scream at her. We stare at each other, both of us with tears running down our faces and our chests heaving.

"I..." we speak in unison, usually this would make us laugh but not this time. I wait for her to speak.

"I love you Haven, and I know you would never do anything to hurt him again. I even understand why you couldn't stay away from him, I wouldn't have been able to if it were me." she takes a deep breath and in her most reasonable, mothering tone she says, "But when it comes to you, Nik isn't reasonable."

"You don't even know him anymore." I whisper. "Five years changes a person Becca, he is happy and healthy."

"And by healthy, I assume you mean he no longer self mutilates? Or do you mean he stopped smoking pot and doesn't drink like a fish?"

I stare at her, wanting nothing more than to throw my phone against the wall and never speak to her again. Why is she acting as if I don't remember what he did to himself? I remember better than anyone; The images of his self-mutilation still haunt me. She was the one who held me as I sobbed over him for three days after he left. She knows I don't need the reminder.

"Becca, I love you, and I am sorry for keeping this from you. But this, this is my choice, and I am not going to change my mind. I wanted you to know because I don't enjoy lying to you."

"You could have fooled me." she scoffs in disbelief. "I have to go."

"What do you mean you have to go? We need to talk about this!"

"I need to get ready for work, and what else is there to say? You're going to do whatever the hell you want!"

"Do you hate me?" I ask in a weak voice.

"I could never hate you, you know that."

"I love you." I pat my cheeks dry and watch as she does the same.

"I love you too, Haven." her face disappears from my screen and I take a deep breath as I fall back onto my bed.

I did it. I finally told her the truth. No more lying about what I am doing, and who I am hanging out with. I am free to post all the pictures of Nik and I online if I want to. Even though we both ended up in tears, a sense of relief has filled me.

"That," Jennie sighs and joins me on the bed, "was intense."