A loud honking from outside alerts Jennie and I that our ride is here, I recognize the red truck instantly. We rush out into the rain, our hoods pulled up over our heads to protect our hair that we didn't bother to style. Chase parks Jennies car directly behind the truck and rushes out into the rain to greet us.

"Let's ride with Nik." He tosses Jennie her keys and pulls open the back door of the truck. Jennie climbs into the backseat and Chase turns to me with a smirk on his face, "Why don't you take the front seat Haven?" he climbs into the back with Jennie.

I don't hesitate to wrench the passenger side door open. If I try to fight this, it will just make things awkward. When I climb into his truck, I take a deep breath, more like I big sniff disguised as a breath, and take in the scent inside. It smells like Nik, cologne and laundry, and that alone is enough to bring a smile to my face.

Nik is drumming his hands on the steering wheel and flashes me a smile. I am taken back by how young he looks in his sweatshirt and jeans. It's the first time I have seen him with his arms covered and without the muscles exposed he almost looks like the Nik from five years ago.

"Hey." He greets me and runs a hand through his dishevelled blonde hair.

"You look hungover." I giggle and nearly slam my hand over my mouth at the ridiculous sound of it. This isn't good. That girlish, high-pitched giggle only comes out when I am trying not to sound flirtatious. The result is me sounding overly flirtatious.

"I'm doing okay. I can't say the same for the others though, they are still sleeping at my house." Nik shifts the truck into drive and speeds off down the road. I quickly buckle my seatbelt.

Chase snorts from the backseat. "What do you expect, Clare and Bev drank an entire 2'6 and then stayed up all night hooking up with Jordan!"

I glance back at Jennie and Chase; he has his arm thrown around her shoulder and she is leaning into him casually. For two people who don't want to put a label on it, they sure are comfortable hanging off each other like that. "So the three of them are like..." I pause unsure of how to ask what I had been assuming last night. "In a relationship."

"It's complicated." Nik and Chase say at the same time. They both laugh and Chase leans forward to bump fists with Nik. I decide not to push for a more direct answer.

"So where are your parents Nik? They would never let a bunch of your friends just stay at your house if you're not there." For a split second, I regret talking about his parents as if I know what they are like. I don't want him to take it the wrong way.

"They are in Mexico for three weeks. They have one of my dad's friends, the one I'm working for, come and check up on the house every few days. Surprisingly, they trust me to be responsible."

Now it's my turn to snort because I can perfectly recall how little they trusted their son when I knew him. Obviously, Nik had changed a lot the last five years or there is no way his parents would have left him alone for three weeks.

"Something funny?" Nik asks, elbowing me playfully.

"Just remembering something." I offer a small smile. He returns my smile in a way that says he knows exactly what I am thinking. "Where are we going for breakfast?"

"More like lunch." Jennie corrects me. "It's already two thirty. I vote we go to White Spot."

"Deal." Nik and Chase say together again.

"You two are ridiculous!" Jennie and I say at the same time. Suddenly the truck is full of laughter and it warms my heart to see such a genuine smile plastered on Nik's face. This is the Nik I want to know. A guy who enjoys his life and wouldn't dream of ending it. 

On Monday morning, I take a walk down to the beach by myself. It's the first time I have been alone since Friday evening and I take the time to think. I count the days and realize I have been in Vancouver for almost three weeks. I came here to figure out my 'life path'; This trip is nearly half over and I am exactly zero steps closer to figuring it out. The thing is, as every day goes by, the pressure to decide what to major in and what to do with my life is less and less.

I am enjoying my time away from home and I enjoy feeling more independent. At home, I live my life at the hands of others. With Becca, we do what she wants to do, and it's not like I just follow her like a lost puppy but I don't make many decisions for myself. Then there's my mom, I didn't have any intention of going to university but I did it for her. Maybe this is what I needed, some time away from the routine back home and the chance to live my life. Despite this realization, I know when I go home I will still need to make a choice.

But that is a little over a month away, and for now I decide I will focus on enjoying my time here. The city is beautiful and there are still many things to explore here, I have found a great friend in Jennie and I have the chance to set things right with Nik. Maybe this isn't what I originally came here for, but I'm happy to let go of the pressure of finding my life path. I'm only nineteen after all, what's the rush? I continue my walk on the beach, feeling happier than I have in a long time as the weight lifts from my shoulders.

I allow my thoughts to wander to this past weekend and I can't help but smile. Many amazing memories sift through my mind, and most of them contain Nik. It is crazy how quickly my perspective changed after talking to Jennie about him. I knew that I had matured since my days of mind games and manipulation but hearing her say it out loud made something click inside of me.

My regrets about how I treated Nik changed me as a person, and I know that I would never treat somebody like that again. So I decide to let the fear go because I know I won't allow myself to make the same mistakes again. The result? I can feel a friendship blooming between Nik and I again.

During lunch on Saturday, there wasn't a single moment of discomfort. We sat close together in the small booth and I tried not to think about our arms brushing or our knees knocking together. I would be lying if I said the fire and the butterflies from our contact disappeared with my fear, because those two reactions were still very much present. But the less I focused on those things, the more I could enjoy being in the moment. And I enjoyed it a lot.

After lunch, Nik dropped Jennie and I off and sped away with Chase hanging out the passenger side window blowing dramatic kisses to Jennie. We howled with laughter and my entire being felt light. The pressure I felt to figure out what to do with my life, the anxiety I had about telling Becca about Nik, the fear I felt about the past; all of it was just gone.

Jennie spent the night with me again. We didn't do much, just talked and watched movies on my laptop. The hangover lingered throughout the evening and we fell asleep before the sun set. On sunday morning I make the effort to reach out to Becca, we video chat again and I introduce her to Jennie.

To my surprise, she doesn't rant about how I am replacing her with Jennie, instead she smiles and threatens Jennie with mid-evil torture if she doesn't take good care of me. Jennie takes it well, placing her hand over her heart and solemnly swearing to jump in front of a bullet for me. I feel like the three of us could be the perfect trio, and that is the first time I feel sad since my conversation with Jennie. Because Becca and Jennie represent two completely different lives for me. One back home. One here in Vancouver. And I know that I can't have them both.

When Jennie went home at around 6 p.m. a wave of loneliness crashed over me. It was short lived though, because Nik texted me moments later to see if I wanted to hang out. We didn't make a plan, I texted back a 'yes' with three smiley faces and he replied 'on my way' followed by four smiley faces. When his truck pulled up in front of the condo, I felt my face light up with excitement.

We drove around with no destination in mind. Talking, laughing, joking, teasing and enjoying being around each other. Not once did I mention the past, nor did I act awkward when he put his hand on my leg and squeezed it tightly. At his touch, my heart raced in excitement and I felt the urge to put my hand over his and intertwine our fingers. Of course I didn't do that. During our drive, I realized that this is how things could have been all along. Happy times and laughter.

When Nik pulled up outside the condo it was dark outside, the stars were out and a cool breeze blew in through the open windows of his truck. I didn't want to go inside, but I knew I had to. A loud sigh escaped my lips as I said goodbye and a pleased look crossed his face. I turned to open the door but Nik put his hand on my arm to stop me. I looked at him expectantly and my heart started racing at the look in his eyes. It was the same look he had at the party when I thought he was going to kiss me. Instead, he invites me to go camping with him and his friends during the upcoming weekend. I am pleased for the invitation but find myself disappointed at the same time.

There was no reason for me to expect him to kiss me. We were just friends after all, but in the past... and I hated myself for thinking about it after deciding I wouldn't do that anymore, we kissed all the time even though we weren't together. I agreed to go on the camping trip because there was no chance I was going to miss out on more time with Nik and my new friends.

I don't realize how lost in my memories I am until I look up and notice I am further down the beach than I have gone before. There is a dock just ahead and beyond that giant rocks and boulders covered in washed up seaweed. With a sigh, I head back the way I came. I think to myself about how relaxing it is to walk along the beach with nothing but your thoughts to keep you company. It's too bad I don't have a beach down the street back home.

My phone buzzes in my back pocket, when I glance at the screen I see Jennie's name across the front and a picture of the two of us at Nik's party. I slide my finger across the screen to answer her call.

"Hey baby!" She calls through the speaker. "Do you feel like working today? Some of the accountants worked overtime this weekend and I have a tonne of scanning to do. I cleared it with my boss and she will even pay you under the table." 

Walking into the office feels kind of surreal. What are the chances that I would meet a girl like Jennie that could provide me opportunities like this? Considering that I have only worked retail jobs, getting to work in an office is exciting for me.

I wave at Jennie, who is talking to a client on the phone and put my bag under the desk. There is no point waiting for her to give me instructions, so I head right into the copy room. The pile of scanning waiting for me is nearly double the size it was the first time.

"Haven?" A woman dressed in a black pencil skirt and a white blouse strides into the copy room. Her hair is up in a bun with not a strand out of place. She looks so well put together;It makes me cringe at my outfit, which comprises a plain black t-shirt tucked into a white floor-length skirt.

"That's me." I smile and hold my hand out to the woman.

"Nice to meet you. My name is Jackie and I am the office manager." She grasps my hand firmly giving it two quick shakes. "I appreciate you lending a hand today."

"I appreciate the opportunity." I reply and attempt to sound professional. There is something about this woman that I like. Her demeanour radiates confidence.

"As I told Jennie I am more than happy to pay you for your time today. Just sign this form and be sure to fill in the time you arrived, when you take your lunch and so on."

"Honestly, I am just glad for the work experience. There is no need to pay..."

Jackie holds up one finger to stop me. "Haven, everyone's time is valuable. Including mine, now take the form." I immediately take it from her and she flashes me a smile before leaving the tiny room, the sound of her high heels echo down the hall. I am not sure why I am in awe of Jackie but I am. To see a woman be so sure of herself and not take no for an answer is empowering.

Throughout the morning, Jennie and I don't get to talk much. I can hear her interacting with clients and her coworkers over the hum of the copy machine, and I realize Jennie is very much like Jackie. There is an aura of confidence around Jennie at all times, but even more so when she is busy at work. Clients are constantly coming up to the desk, the phone is ringing, her coworkers are asking her questions about appointments and scheduling; she handles it all like a pro.

I know I have decided I will not worry about the future right now but seeing these women be so sure of themselves in their work roles makes me wonder if I will ever feel that way. Will I flounder around in life like a fish out of water forever? No, I won't allow it. One day I will feel as sure about myself as Jennie and Jackie do.

"Ready to go for lunch?" I jump at the sound of Jennies voice, sending the papers in my hands flying into the air. She bursts out laughing and dives to the floor to pick them up for me as I lean against the copier with my hand across my racing heart.

"You will be the death of me." I exhale quickly.

"Let's hope not, or I will have to face Becca and her mid-evil torture rituals!" We laugh together and leave the office arm in arm.