My body, my thoughts no longer feel like my own. I wonder if the things around me are real. I don't want to eat, but I'm hungry.

The craving doesn't go away. I want it to stop. Praying for the earths floor to crack open and swallow me whole instead of chasing her... but I can't. The loud horn sounding in my mind is painful. The noise only goes away when I finally tackle her to the ground and tear through her flesh like butter. Her screams are silenced as another takes a bite at her throat.

The flavor of the meat ignites the taste buds in my mouth. I take another bite before the warmth is gone from her body, before she turns just like me—a zombie.

Sometimes they turn within minutes and other times it takes longer. The longer it takes, the more we eat. I'm unable to focus on what I'm doing next as the loud familiar noise streams through my head once again. I screech in pain and my body once more takes control as I chase someone else.

I awake to my own soft screams. Beads of heavy sweat trickle down my forehead, as I focus on the squeaky ceiling fan above me that wobbles as it slowly spins. I take a couple of deep breaths like Mr. Dune taught us in our ZA group meeting, which is about the only thing I took in consideration.

Calming my nerves, my eyes adjust to the room. It is filled with rows of metal beds occupied by heavy sleepers. I slowly get up from the thin mattress that always greets me with rusted pointed springs at my back and head towards the bathroom. I get no further than a couple of steps when I see Jenny shuffling in her covers, trying to follow me. Careful not to wake the others, I turn and head back to my bed next to hers.

"It's okay, go back to bed," I whisper, reassuring her with a smile. Even though it's still night out, I can see her bouncy red curls peak out of the torn up quilted blanket. The full moon illuminated through the open windows up above. Her eyes caught worry, and I knew immediately what she was thinking. "I'm not going to skip out on you, little mermaid. I'm just going to the bathroom," I said as I tucked one of her curls behind her ear. A small smile revealed her pearly whites. She nodded her head and lay back down. Her emerald green eyes blinked heavily a few times before slowly falling back asleep.

Tucking her more snug in her blanket, my mind wandered off to the time we first met. I remember the snow had melted already but it was still a little chilly out. I could see her bright fire curls peeking out of her beanie as she walked out of the infirmary. Some of the Stiffs, as the Luckies call us ex-zombies, tried to comfort her but she wasn't having it. In a frantic she had accidently run into me, knocking her beanie off. Without a beat I grabbed it and dusted it off, placing it right back on her head. "Easy there, little mermaid."

I remembered her eyes were opened wide as her body was in total paralysis. She blinked those cute doe eyes of hers and I knew all too well what that meant. After a couple of months of befriending her, she finally let me in and had drawn a couple of stick figures on a piece of paper. One had long red hair and glasses and the other had a fishtail. Underneath was the word "momma". The name I said had triggered a memory she had when she was first human, before all this.

Those fragments of reminders are what keep us staying warm blooded.

I stood up and headed to the girls room. The cold concrete floor cooled my sweaty feet with each step I took. After using the restroom, I went to the sink to wash my hands. My eyes trailed to the bite on my right wrist, now peeking out of my black sweatband. The washed out pink tinge of color stood out against my pale skin that had decolorized any bit of my natural medium tone I had before the change. That was indeed the bite that turned me.

Shaking my head, I grasped onto the rim of porcelain sink squeezing hard, hoping the memories of my zombie life wouldn't invade my thought like it had did when I slept. I cupped some water and tilted my head down, coating my face in it. The cool liquid sent chills down my spine.

I didn't really understand why the Luckies would come up with a nickname like the Stiffs; it's not like we're stiff anymore. The only thing that really stayed the same in our appearance after getting treated and turning back was that our complexion stayed somewhat paler than the others, which gave some of the Luckies ammunition to be total assholes.

I mean... we've had our fair share of teasing and taunting them as well. But with their noses up in the air like they own the place, they sort of deserve it. We basically have the south side of this walled up fortress as they have the north. I never really explored over on that side, but I bet its better then second hand me downs and the leftovers they give us, if any at all. Every man, woman and child for themselves in here. No wonder people leave.

And they are pretty lucky after all; not being turned into the dead and remembering every terrible thing they've ever done.

Feeling a bit hesitant, I looked up at myself for a brief second then shutting my eyes tight, even the light from the room could not get in. But I had to look, it's the only way to continue healing. Biting the inside of my cheek, I opened my eyes and gazed upon my appearance.

Anyone that knew my father would say that I had his oval shaped brown eyes. And if they knew my mother, that I looked just like her. With dark brown wavy hair that would show strands of copper if the sun kissed it. That's what I was told by everyone before the virus, but I don't see it. A week ago, I wasn't able to step one foot in a room with a mirror. It's still hard because all I see are the nameless faces penetrating their wide terrifying orbs upon me. What did I look like to them? Would I have the same face if I could see what they had seen? Eight months ago I was a flesh eater, a stone cold killer. I shouldn't be alive after what I've done but here I am getting a second chance. I don't deserve it, any of it.

Fighting back the tears, I try to think of three positive things in my life. Jenny. Jenny. Jenny. I wash my face one more time in an attempt to rid the evidence before I head back to bed. I guess these Zombies Anonymous group meetings are alright after all.