><><

Erin

When we got to Bobby's the house was dark as expected. Despite the fact that Bobby's house had some of the strongest warding I had ever seen, he still cleared every room. There were wards and traps at every window and door, but he poured fresh salt lines just to be sure. I wasn't going to argue with him. I was feeling a little insecure as well.

While he finished securing the house I went into the kitchen. We hadn't stopped the rest of the way and it was nearly dinner time. I opened the fridge, wrinkling my nose at the old takeout leftovers I found on the top shelf. I dug around and came up with enough stuff to make a pasta dish. Dean came back into the kitchen just as I was adding the noodles to the boiling pot.

"What are you doing?" Dean asked in confusion.

"Painting," I deadpanned without missing a beat.

"Liar," he snorted and I tossed a teasing look over my shoulder at him. He was watching me closely.

I turned the heat down on the water so it wouldn't boil over and cracked open a few cans, pulling some spices out of the cupboard so I could make homemade spaghetti sauce. It wouldn't be fabulous, Bobby's kitchen left a lot to be desired, but it would taste better than the road food we had been living on all week.

After all we had been through I knew I could use a little comfort food. I was guessing Dean would feel the same. I pulled out some slices of bread and added butter and some garlic salt and tossed them in the oven to toast.

Dean was watching me, his hip cocked against the counter.

"Dean," I said after a few long moments of silence. "About Yellow Eyes-" I began. I wasn't exactly sure how to broach the subject again, but I had to say the words. I had to make Dean understand that it couldn't go on like this.

"He isn't going to get anywhere near you," Dean said absolutely resilient.

"Dean," I said again and he glanced towards me. I pressed my lips together and made a decision. I took a step into his space and reached down for his hand, lacing my fingers with his. "I can't hide forever, especially not if he keeps killing people."

Dean's jaw tightened. "You're safe."

I realized in that moment that maybe sleeping with Dean had been a mistake, but not for all the reasons I would have thought. The protective energy running through him had grown and was strong enough now I could feel it like static electricity in the room.

"I'm hiding," I said exasperatedly.

"But you're safe," he repeated and I could tell by the set of his jaw and the hardness in his eyes that it was truly all that mattered to him in this moment. He cared so much sometimes it took my breath away.

"Jack hid me away from the world," I told him. "And it did no good, it just got him killed. I don't that to happen to you. I don't want to have to hide anymore," I told him firmly. "We need a plan."

Dean exhaled. "We'll make one. I promise. Let's just, take a second and catch our breath okay? We'll make a plan in the morning. Okay?" He pushed again, raising his eyebrows as he waited for me to agree with him.

It irked me that he just expected me to go along with him, but in all reality he still had way more experience than I did. "Okay," I agreed with a sharp nod.

Dean exhaled and pulled me into his chest. The movement surprised me, and I stumbled a little. Dean caught me with his arms around me as he held me against him. I laid my cheek against his chest and listened to his heart beat. His hands had only touched my clothes, keeping my cut off from his emotions unless I tried hard. But he raised a hand, bringing it up against the nape of my neck, burying it in my hair to make sure I could feel him. His strong fingers were warm against my scalp and I closed my eyes and just let him hold me for a minute.

The oven beeped and the bread was done. I reluctantly pulled away. I wanted to stay warm and safe in Dean's arms. Things seemed so simple at times, but I knew it couldn't last. I couldn't run and hide forever. Dean couldn't always protect me. He was a hunter and I was just a job. He would need to get back to his life just as surely as I was going to have to figure out my own.

I dished us up some food and we sat at the old scared wood table in the kitchen. Dean pulled out two bottles of beer from the fridge and cracked both of them, handing me one. We ate quietly together. I was halfway through when I looked up to find him watching me.

"What?" I asked self-consciously.

"Nothing," he said quickly, looking back down at his own plate.

"Liar," I accused and he snorted.

He lifted his eyes back up to look at me. "What was it like?" he asked. "Growing up with Jack?"

I shrugged. "Lonely, I spent a lot of time by myself when Jack was out on hunts...I would imagine very similar to what it was like growing up with your father. They were both hunters."

"Yeah but Jack didn't take you on hunts did he?" Dean asked.

I frowned. "Your father took you on hunts when you were young?" I asked. I couldn't imagine letting my children anywhere near the horrors hunters faced day in and day out.

"Yeah, course," Dean replied, his words were cavalier, but I could tell by the sudden shift in his body that he was no longer as comfortable discussing this. "How else did you think I became such an amazing hunter?" he teased lightly.

I snorted and shook my head at his ego. "I've heard of a lot about John...what happened to him?" I asked gently. It was a sensitive topic, you didn't need to be an empath to know that. All of a sudden I was hit by a wall of emotion. I sucked in a surprised breath and looked up at Dean.

He was staring down at the table in front of him, his jaw flexing.

"Never mind," I said quickly. "I'm sorry, I never should have asked." I took another bite of my garlic toast but it tasted like ash in my mouth. The anguish I could feel radiating off of Dean was horrific. I swallowed the brittle food wishing I could take it back.

Dean didn't look at me when he began speaking, and I wished somehow I could make it stop, make him stop so he wouldn't have to relive it. I didn't want him to hurt like this.

"We had just faced Yellow Eyes. He possessed dad, kicked our asses. I was pretty beat up, bleeding badly. Sammy was the best off of all of us, he was driving..." Dean dragged off. "There was an accident."

Not caring what it would mean for me I reached out and covered his hand with mine. I was suddenly drowning in his pain. I had no idea how he functioned under the weight of it. His pain shook my to my core, but I needed to comfort him any way I knew how. I tightened my grip, tangling my fingers with his.

"A demon possessed a semi-truck driver and t-boned us, flipped the impala off the road. Totaled it...When I woke up I was in the hospital, and I was standing over my body."

I froze. It meant Dean had died. My own pain was a sudden eclipse of his. I knew hunting was dangerous and in reality hunters all ended up the same, but Dean had always seemed above that somehow. I swallowed thickly but didn't say anything. I knew if I interrupted him he would stop.

"Turns out I had a Reaper on my ass. All ready to lead me into the light," he swallowed and I could see this was harder for him than he let on. "I got in contact with Sammy. He was still okay, my old man was banged up and in the hospital but gonna get out the next day. Those two fought like cats and dogs while Sammy tried to convince him I was still there. I was barely hanging on. It was the machines keeping me alive. My old man made a deal..." he breathed out a tight breath and shoved himself to his feet, pacing towards the window. I stood and followed behind him. "He traded himself and the colt for me," unshed tears glinted in Dean's eyes.

I reached down and took his hand in mine, giving it a gentle squeeze so he would know he wasn't alone.

"He bartered with that Yellow Eyed bastard that he had been fighting my whole life to save me." Dean shook his head as though he still couldn't believe it. He moved as though he were going to pull away, to protect me once more, but I laced my fingers with his more tightly. I could feel how deeply to his core he genuinely did not believe he was worth it. I closed my eyes as tears filled my own eyes. I wished so much I could show him how amazing he was. I stepped into his space, leaned my forehead against his and breathed deeply as his pain became my own.

I lifted my chin and he stared down at me with tormented eyes. "Dean," I whispered his name but words didn't mean as much to Dean so instead of saying all of the things I felt I pressed my lips against his. He buried a hand in my hair and kissed me back with more passion than I was ready for.

He pulled back after a moment, panting. He leaned his forehead against mine and stared down at me. "I don't know why I told you all of that," he said shaking his head and deep inside, buried beneath his pain and guilt I could feel his gratitude. It didn't feel like he had ever opened up about this before and I recognized it for the gift it was.

I pulled back a little and stared up into his green eyes. "Maybe," I started and I paused. "Maybe because you know that I'll understand how you feel about it," I finally said.

Dean frowned as he considered my words.

"How can I not?" I asked with a small smile and I lifted our joined hands, hoping to lighten the mood.

Dean nodded. "I suppose that's true," he agreed. "But I shouldn't have dumped that shit on you. It isn't fair, and it isn't yours to deal with."

I kissed his lips lightly again. "Why don't you let me decide what I can deal with," I teased gently. "Thank you for trusting me," I told him.

My words surprised him, I could feel that much, but he was also unsure. I had pushed a little too hard, and needed to pull it back. I stepped away, giving him space as I cleared our plates and put the leftovers in the fridge.

As soon as I started washing the dishes Dean stepped up next to me with a towel to dry. We worked in silence together until the kitchen was cleaner than I'm sure it had been in years. I let my walls down and kept my focus on Dean. His pain never fully went away, but the more we worked the more settled he became.

I realized in that moment just how dangerous Dean Winchester was to me. Not because he was a hunter or the violence in his life, but because of his strength and his pain and how he found peace in the little moments when we were together. But Dean was a hunter and he didn't have a home and wasn't the type who was ever going to settle down. It wasn't who he was. Bobby had been right after all to warn me away from him, but I was in too deep now. There was no where to go but forward.

When we were done, I glanced at the clock, it was getting late. "Do you want to wait up for them?" I asked.

He nodded, leading the way into Bobby's den. He made a fire and dropped down onto the couch exhaustedly. Dean leaned against the arm and lifted his arm so I could sit beside him and curl against his chest. Instead of going to bed I curled up on the couch next to Dean and we watched the flames in Bobby's fireplace while we waited for Bobby and Sam to get back. I breathed a sigh of relief as his arm settled around me and I closed my eyes. It took only moments for me to fall asleep when I was surrounded by Dean's warmth so completely.

><><

Erin

A car door slammed outside and Dean shifted in his sleep beneath me. I grumbled in the back of my throat and Dean smoothed a hand down my back encouraging me to stay sleeping. I didn't need the encouragement. I was exhausted. I snuggled deeper into his chest, tightening my grip on his shirt.

I heard the porch door bang and peaked open one eye. Bobby and Sam had just come in the door. They both looked even more exhausted than I felt. I climbed stiffly to my feet groaning. Dean grumbled but let me go with an affectionate squeeze of my hip.

I padded barefoot into the kitchen. "Hey," I greeted sleepily.

Sam nodded to me. His face was drawn and pale with exhaustion. Bobby didn't look much better.

"There's leftovers in the fridge. I can warm them up if you're hungry," I offered.

"Leftover what?" Bobby asked sharply. He suddenly seemed to notice the clean state of his kitchen and he looked around suspiciously.

"I made dinner," I said stepping aside so they could come in and put down their bags.

"You made what?" Bobby asked in confusion. I knew Bobby's wife had died a long time ago, horrifically, but it couldn't have been that long since someone cooked here.

I snorted and moved to the fridge. I pulled out the two plates and held them up. "It's nothing fancy but I can heat up the plates if you'd like."

"That would be great," Sam agreed. "I'll be back," he said and he moved off towards the bathroom. He stepped through the doorway as Dean came in. Dean's hair was mussed from sleep. He clapped his brother on the back in greeting.

By the time Sam got back I had the two plates set out. Bobby has already dug into his with an appreciative grunt. Dean pulled out a few more beers. I was just waiting on the toast.

"This smells amazing," Sam said appreciatively. "Thank you Erin." He said sincerely.

I nodded. "Well I don't know about you guys but I was a little sick of road food. It's nice to be in one place," I said and I turned to Bobby. "Thank you," I said sincerely. "I know me being here isn't exactly safe but-"

"Well that's just fine," Bobby said quickly, shifting his weight in his seat. He was clearly uncomfortable with my gratitude but I did recognize that I had no where else to go. "Thanks for the chow," he said gesturing to his plate.

He didn't dislike me anymore but he didn't exactly trust me either. It felt like Bobby and I were on our way to being friends, but it was about as complicated as making friends with an old grizzly bear. I liked the old hunter.

"It's really good thanks," Sam said quickly. I could feel how badly he wanted everyone to get along. Every one of Sam's emotions was simple and entirely pure. They were easy to read after Bobby's and Dean's tangled web of emotions, but I still slowly closed myself off from the group. I could keep my walls down when it was just Dean and I, but three people was more than I could handle right now when I was so exhausted.

They tucked into their plates, the three of them chatting quietly. Dean had told me once that he didn't have a home, but looking around I didn't agree with him. I reached under the table and set my hand on his thigh and he obligingly covered my hand with his, allowing me to feel everything he did, without having to open myself up to everyone else.

It was an intimate gesture, one I hadn't expected and the feelings of warmth and comfort that came off of Dean as he chatted with Sam and Bobby over a meal was almost soothing. Whatever else happened we would face that tomorrow. Tonight I let myself settle into the comfort of the moment and the feeling of Home.

Once they were done eating I took the plates before they could get up. Dean made a joke and Sam laughed while Bobby rolled his eyes at their antics. I stepped over to the sink and just as I set the plates down the light above the sink flickered.

I frowned up at it. It continued to flicker and my breathing kicked up. I turned to open my mouth just as the others noticed the power fluctuations. "Dean..." I started to say and in the next second the front door was blown off it's hinges.

Standing at the threshold, his yellow eyes reflecting in the dim light was the demon himself. "Honey, I'm home!"

><><

It was a little shorter than expected, but I hope you enjoyed the update! Thank you so much for all your support!