XVIII.
Hello all! It's been a while since I updated BUT it's NaNoWriMo! I hope you enjoy!
><><
Erin
I walked slowly, looking down each side street like I was afraid. It wasn't hard to pretend. Walking by myself down a dark street in a deserted part of town using myself as demon bait was a bad idea. My heart was thundering in my chest, almost loud enough to drown out everything else, but there was no going back now. The demon trailing behind me wasn't trying hard to remain unnoticed. In fact, he seemed to be enjoying my fear and was leaning into the game of cat and mouse.
I chose to trust Dean. He hadn't let me down yet, and based on what I knew of him I didn't think he was likely to. I forced my pace to remain measured to give Dean enough time to lay the trap. The hair on the back of my neck was up, it felt like the demon behind me was going to grab me at any minute, but I wouldn't give in and run. If I bolted, he would follow and everything would be ruined. I turned and faced the doorway to the abandoned building. I needed to give Dean as much time as possible. I began counting backwards from thirty. As soon as I reached zero I took a deep breath, and let my walls down a tiny bit. I was instantly rewarded with the overwhelming feeling of Dean on the other side. He was wary and tense but ready, every emotion I would expect if the trap was set. I exhaled, once more he hadn't let me down.
I turned the door knob and was surprised when it swung open easily. I stepped in calmly, but as soon as I was out of sight I bolted for the far side of the room. Pounding feet came behind me but too late. The demon burst through the door and pulled up like he slammed into a wall. As soon as I was clear I looked down to see a devil's trap that had been hurriedly painted on the floor. It was still wet but it held.
There was a loud crack as Dean swung an old pipe and caught the demon in the temple. The demon fell, knocked out cold.
"Grab that chair!" Dean called. He snatched up the spray paint can, shaking it. The rolling marbles echoed loudly through the empty building. He touched up the trap where my footprints had touched the paint, although none of the lines had broken. It was pure luck that had caught the demon. If I had been off a single inch I might have smudged the line and he would have had both of us.
I blew out a shaky breath and turned to drag the old metal chair over to Dean as he had asked. I could feel Dean's hard focus and detachment. In a way it was reassuring, focusing on what might have happened wasn't going to help us now. I pulled my walls back up and did the same. Now wasn't the time for emotions. We had a job to do.
Dean crossed into the circle and dragged the unconscious demon up onto the chair. He tied the demon down and once he was sure the demon was secure he pulled out his flask of holy water.
He tossed it at the demon who came to screaming in pain. Smoke filled the air around us as the demon sizzled.
"What do you want?" Dean asked.
The demon pulled against the ropes but when it couldn't get free it turned inky black eyes to me. "What do you think?" it challenged, refusing to look at Dean.
Dean scowled and I didn't have to use my power to feel the rage pouring off of him. "Does Yellow Eyes know we're here?" Dean asked sharply. His voice was low and dangerous, his hands gripped into fists. I had never seen Dean like this before. It was as if every emotion, every piece of himself were locked away. In this moment he was a Hunter and nothing else.
When the demon didn't respond and continued to stare me down Dean flexed his fingers and took a deep breath, forcing himself somehow even further under control.
"Where's the boss?" Dean asked conversationally. He was feigning lightness, but it made it all the more terrifying to know what was swimming beneath the surface.
The demon spit at him and Dean backhanded him so fast it startled me. The man's head snapped to the side and I cringed, feeling sorry for the man who's body the demon was in. Dean swung again, and his fist cracked across the man's jaw.
He paced away, putting space between himself and the demon. As he passed close to me I reached out to let my fingers trail over Dean's arm but he moved purposefully away from me. I felt a momentary pang of rejection. But looking at the granite set to Dean's jaw and the slight tremble to his fisted hands, I realized it had nothing to do with me. I realized he didn't want me to feel what he was feeling right now. I decided to respect his wishes and kept my power locked away, but knowing he thought he had to hide from me made something in my chest ache.
The demon began chuckling then and Dean took a menacing step towards him. The demons eyes flickered to me.
"You don't even look at her," Dean growled and he hit him again, this time hard enough there was a subtle crunch in the man's face and blood began pouring out of his nose. "Tell me where your boss is," Dean snarled.
"Or what? You going to torture me?" the demon mocked. His eyes cut to me and Dean bristled again. "You going to cut into an innocent man and let your little empath girlfriend feel how little you care?" The demon started cackling. "I've heard of you Dean Winchester. Daddy's little soldier, and I'm not afraid."
Dean's hands clenched into fists and his hand flew once more, this time his first connected with the man's jaw with enough force to knock the chair over. The demon just laughed.
"Where's the boss?" Dean repeated.
The demon just cackled.
This wasn't getting us anywhere and the longer Dean kept pounding on the demon the more he would feel bad later for what he did to the innocent man the demon was driving around. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my small flask of holy water. I stepped up next to Dean, forcing him to let me touch him or actively flee from me in front of the demon. From what I knew about Dean, I was guessing he would hold his ground.
I was right. I slipped the flask into Dean's hand, my fingers gliding over his. I felt what he did in a dizzying rush. The disgust, anger, rage, fear, self loathing and impatience were all contained entirely by his absolute iron clad will and focus to get the job done.
"I'm going to go get my coat from the car," I told Dean.
His fingers stayed closed around mine and the flask as he looked down at me, his brow wrinkled in confusion. I could feel his worry then, he didn't want me going out on my own and he was trying to think past his intense focus to figure out what I was doing. I could feel how hard it was for him with the demon in the room.
"Maybe our guest is thirsty?" I suggested with a casual shrug I didn't feel. The holy water wouldn't hurt the man the demon was possessing.
Dean nodded, but his eyes told a different story. He was hesitating. I needed to leave for a few minutes. No, Dean needed me to leave. I didn't know if it made a difference for him having me there, but we didn't have time for the demon to be right. Dean needed to do what needed to be done without feeling like he was being judged.
"Why don't you pull the car around," Dean suggested and he pulled the keys out of his pocket.
I arched my eyebrows in surprise but took the keys. Dean was incredibly protective of his car, but I felt his relief as I took the keys from his hand. He needed me to go.
"Bring my duffle," Dean called after me.
I hurried down the dark street and got into the Impala. I immediately felt safer just being in the car. Which didn't make sense. It wouldn't protect me from a demon, but there was something about it, something intrinsically connected to Dean and the brothers. It gave me the boost of confidence I needed to go back and face the demon.
I parked outside the door and went around to the trunk. When I opened it I found Dean's dark green duffle and a gallon of water. I shifted a few of the guns around and found a rosary. I dumped it into the water jug. I shouldered the bag, picked up the jug and slammed the trunk. I headed back into the building.
When I walked in the demon was hanging against the ropes panting. There was smoking water still dripping off the man's face and fresh blood coming from a cut on his temple.
I handed the duffel bag to Dean and he pulled out a book and handed it to me. One page was dog-eared but the book easily fell open to that page regardless.
"How's your Latin?" Dean asked with a poor attempt at a smile. I could see the stress around his eyes.
I scanned the page and recognized the exorcism. "Passable," I assured him with a smile.
Dean nodded and lifted the jug of water dousing the demon. The demon screamed in pain as smoke filled the room.
"Now I can make all of this go away," Dean offered. "All you have to do is talk."
The demon laughed again. "You think you can do worse to me than has already been done down in the pit?"
Dean shook his head. "I doubt that, so...either you start talking or she sends you straight back home to answer to the boss face to face..."
Without missing a beat I began to chant. "Exocizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus-"
For the first time the demons eyes widen in fear. A slow smile crept across Dean's face, "Well looky there," he said brightly. He turned to face me with a bright smile that didn't reach his hard eyes. "Looks like someone doesn't want to go see the boss in person."
"Omnis satanica potestas," I continued as though Dean hadn't said anything.
The demons eyes flashed to me and I stared him down. I might not have been able to stop Yellow Eyes, but I could stop this demon from ever hurting anyone else ever again.
"Omnis incursio infernalis adversii," I read my voice low and angry. I wasn't playing the game right, I knew that. I wanted this demon gone and I actually had the power to do it. Dean had given me that power and he wasn't going to stop me, I could feel it.
Dean watched me with something like respect glimmering in his eyes. He turned back to the demon. "Doesn't really seem like she's interested in waiting to see it you're gonna talk..."
"Omnis congregatio et secta diabolica,"
"So stop her," the demon snapped.
Dean held his hands up. "Does it look like she's going to listen to me?"
"Ergo, Draco maledicte ecclesiam tuam," I raised my voice to be heard over their conversation.
"Stop!" The demon yelled at me.
"Secura tibi facias libertate sevire-"
"NO!" The demon roared.
"I'd start talking," Dean suggested, his tone painfully casual.
"Te rogamus-"
"Okay fine! Just stop!" The demon screamed desperately. "He is going after other empaths but he doesn't give a shit about them. He wants her," the demon snarled. "He's offered a huge reward to anyone who finds her."
"Why?" Dean snarled, all business again. His face was twisted and angry once more.
"Why? There's no one else as powerful. You can smell it on her," the demon cocked its head to the side, his black eyes locked on my face. "Among other things," he said and he leered at me.
"Anything else?" Dean asked.
"Yeah. If you keep standing between her and us, you're going to end up dead. Just like your daddy. He's in hell you know-"
Dean's expression flattened, rage simmered in his eyes and through my shielding I felt the pain laced rage. "Audi nos. Rot in hell you black eyed bastard," Dean snarled.
The man's head snapped back, his mouth opening as the demon was ripped out and sent back to hell. I flinched at the violence of it. I had never seen a demon exorcised but it was satisfying. The man's body went limp against the ropes, sagging in the chair, but he was alive because of us.
I glanced at Dean but his whole body was tight. His movements were jerky as he moved into the circle. He cut the ropes and caught the man before he could hit the floor.
"Dean-" I started to say and I took a step towards him but his shoulders tensed once more so I stopped.
"He's still alive," he said in a gravely voice, without looking at me. "Let's get him to the hospital."
We dropped the man off at the nearest ER. Dean was silent the entire time, he hadn't looked at me once and he had made it a point to stay out of reach. I started to get out to help at the hospital, but Dean grunted. "I got it," dismissively and hauled the man inside.
I could feel how much he was working to separate himself from me. The distance left an uncomfortable atmosphere in the car. The demons ominous threat kept echoing in my mind.
I couldn't help but wonder if Dean was distancing himself because of the danger to himself and his brother. I watched through the rain soaked windshield as he half carried the man through the hospital doors.
Dean climbed back into the car, turned the radio on and we were drowning in heavy bass as Metallica vibrated my seat. He drove out of town. Once we got out of the suburbs and out onto the highway headed towards North Dakota he drove for an hour before he took a mostly deserted exit with a sign for a local hotel.
Dean parked the car and got out. He didn't say anything, but I trailed behind him into the office as he got us a room. He didn't acknowledge me as he paid, got our keys and our bags. It was like he was moving on autopilot. I waited patiently at the door knowing he would want to clear the room. Once it was clear he began laying the lines of salt. Once they were done he finally stopped moving, dropping down to sit on one of the bed with a tired sigh. It was first time he even attempted to relax since the demon started trailing us. He scrubbed a hand over his messy hair.
There was still something off. He was practically vibrating with unspent energy and tension. He stared at me for a minute and then pushed to his feet. He moved to go past me and when I reached for him he dropped a shoulder, pulling back deliberately out of reach.
"Don't-" he started to say but stopped, taking a deep breath and turning away from me. He dropped down to sit on the bed once more, his handsome face looked exhausted.
"Dean," I said in a low voice. I didn't know what to do to help him. I knew he was hurting but he was so stubborn he wouldn't let me in. I could push, drop the wall that kept me separate from his emotions, but it felt too much like cheating. He didn't want me to know what he was feeling and ignoring that wasn't fair.
"I know what you do, who you are," I finally settled on saying. "You don't have to push me away."
He looked down at his hands as flutters of shame echoed through the room strong enough I couldn't block it out. "The things I've done, the things I've been willing to do..." he shook his head. "You shouldn't be anywhere near me."
I stepped up to him deliberately. The truth was I was exhausted. I didn't know if keeping my walls up or dropping them completely would make me feel better, but Dean was beating himself up. I reached down, took his hand in mine and gave it a gentle squeeze. The self loathing coming off of him was almost too much for me to take. I sucked in a surprised breath and forced myself to keep moving into him. It was all Dean and if I wanted him I had to accept every part of him. That's what he was afraid of, that I had witnessed what he was capable of and wouldn't still want him.
I stepped between his legs and forced him to look up at me. I cupped the side of his face in my palm. Dean wasn't one who used or listened to words. Even if I knew the perfect thing to say to make him feel better, which I didn't, he would never believe me. He was all about actions. I needed to show him that he was wrong.
I leaned down and kissed him, just a gentle brush of lips at first. He sucked in a sharp breath, but he didn't pull away from me. My heart was pounding in my ears partly from desire and partly from a small pit of anxiety. I had never done this before, never considered being the one to initiate and I was terrified of being rejected. I flexed my fingers against the back of his neck and he made a noise in the back of his throat. I was hit by a wave of desire as strong as my own and it pushed my insecurities back.
I sucked in a sharp breath and deepened the kiss. My whole body was trembling and the sheer need I could suddenly feel pulsing off of him made me bold. I swung my leg over his, straddling his hips. Dean's hands came up and grabbed the outside of my thighs, pulling me more firmly onto his lap. I deepened the kiss, sliding my tongue against his and he flexed his powerful hands, his fingers digging into my hips. Even through my jeans it made me shudder.
He made a noise in his throat as I squirmed on his lap. "Careful sweetheart," he panted against my lips.
I pulled back a little so I was staring down into his eyes. My whole body was trembling with need and desire and the tension between us was rising like a tide I didn't think I would be able to resist. Every other guy I had been with had been selfish and I had pushed myself into it because I thought it was what I should do or foolishly thought it was what I wanted. Dean didn't feel like that. With my hands locked around the back of his neck I could feel every piece of him, good and bad, and I wanted more. I knew if I didn't do this I would regret it for the rest of my life.
I leaned in, running my nose along the sensitive skin below his ear. "I don't want to be careful," I said in a husky voice as I twisted my hips, grinding against him.
Dean groaned and that feral, possessive desire I had felt that morning from him came back. Earlier however what had been between us had been playful and light, a way for us to cope with what we had faced. This felt different, there was an edge to Dean and this was more intense, more serious.
I stared down into his impossibly beautiful green eyes. I had never seen eyes as green as his, with the light behind them the color didn't look real. Trusting him to hold me up I let go of his neck and grabbed the bottom of my shirt pulling it over my head.
Dean's grip tightened and his hands found my bare skin above my belt. I had never been this forward before and the wave of desire I get from him as he took in my black bra made me blush.
I hesitated for half a second, doubt clouding my own desire for half a second. Dean must have seen something on my face because he stopped. "You're sure?" he asked in a husky voice.
I nodded and he wrapped an arm around my waist and swung us around, laying me out on the bed beneath him. I buried my hands in his hair as he dropped his face down to kiss along my neck. I could feel the barely contained strength in his arms and hands as he caged me to the bed and I wanted to feel more. I looped a leg around his hips, drawing him closer. Dean's hands felt like brands as his fingers played along the bare skin at my sides.
His teeth grazed the sensitive skin of my neck and I rolled my hips against his. He made a noise in the back of his throat and I dropped my hands to the hem of his shirt.
"I want to feel you," I muttered, tugging the shirt over his head.
He slowed as the shirt came off. He held himself up on his hands above me, the dim light of the hotel room reflected off the gold amulet that hung around his neck as he stared down at me with an intensity I didn't understand.
I tossed the shirt away and with less clothes between us I felt everything he did in that moment. His desire cooled as he watched me. He thought I shouldn't want him. I saw him torture that demon and he genuinely didn't think he deserved to be with me. But I felt all of him, the good and the bad.
I reached up and cupped his face once more. "Dean," I said, my voice had a slight tremble to it because I knew no matter what I said he would never believe he was good enough. He would never believe he was good. "I feel you," I told him and I leaned up resting my forehead against his. "All of you," I assured him.
He tensed one more notch and I could feel him getting ready to shut down. If I let him pull away tonight, it was done. We might laugh and flirt but I knew that if I screwed this up he would pull away for good and I would be, just like I feared, no different from any other girl he screwed on a job.
It felt like an incredible responsibility. Dean didn't open up to anyone, he was incredibly strong and yet there was a part of Dean that was so fragile. The part that had been abandoned and left behind by everyone he loved and thought he somehow deserved it. The part that genuinely believed he had nothing more to offer than violence and death. I wished I was better, more confident, somehow more equipped. I wanted him to know so badly that I did see him.
"...and I want you." I told him sincerely. "You think you're broken," I said. "But you're the strongest person I have ever met."
Dean stared down at me for a minute and I didn't know if he would leave or stay. I had pushed too far, I knew that, revealed too much of what I could do and I knew it might mean scaring him off, but I had to say what I felt.
Dean's hands flexed against my sides. "I though..." he started. "You couldn't read minds," he said leaning over me.
"I can't."
A slow smile pulled at his lips and I felt him warming, the hard edge between us dissolving, but in its place grew something more serious and intense. He leaned down and kissed me passionately. "Liar," he said against my lips.
His hands dropped to the buttons on my jeans and he pulled them down my legs in one smooth motion. He pulled back for a second to look down the line of my body appreciatively. I was self conscious, but the heated look in his eyes quickly squashed that.
"So damn beautiful," he muttered and he kissed his way back up my body. I squirmed and arched against him, every brush of skin was like a brand and I was drowning in the feeling of him surrounding me. He thought he wasn't good enough but all he felt to me was strong and safe and he was so incredibly beautiful.
His hand slid down, fingers teasing over my stomach before they slid under the waistband of my underwear. I sucked in a breath and he kissed me. His fingers glided along the edges of my folds before he deepened the kiss and slid his fingers inside. I whimpered in pleasure, my toes curling as I arched beneath him. He buried his face in the hollow of my throat as his clever fingers found a maddeningly slow rhythm. I was gasping trying to keep control but I could feel myself spiraling, lost in the incredible feel of Dean surrounding me.
"That's it, baby," he whispered against my skin.
I rocked against his hand as the throbbing need grew and grew into something more frantic. A cry came from my throat as he pushed me over the edge the first time. I was shaking and gasping but he was relentless, immediately building towards the next orgasm before I finished riding out the first.
"Please," I heard myself gasp.
Dean chuckled against the skin of my neck. His lips ghosted around the shell of my ear. That incredible control was back and I found it maddening. I wanted him to be the same panting mess of desire I was. I hooked a leg around his hip, trying to pull him closer, and he smirked down at me. Every touch of his sends his desire pounding through me, a perfect match of my own, but he's so patient, every movement deliberate.
I can't wait any longer. "Now," I tell him, my voice rising in agitation and his thumb presses against my clit, sending me spinning into another orgasm I'm not ready for.
I'm shaking and I can't wait any longer. My hands drop down to the button on his jeans and he helps me push them down his hips. He reaches over the side of the bed, fumbling with the zipper on his bag, and comes back with a condom. I pushed him back so he was against the headboard and help him roll it on. My other hand reaches up and I run my nails over his sculpted chest and abs. The muscles jump under my touch, but he's watching me with intense eyes as I climb up his body.
I brace my hands against his shoulders and sink down on him. He threw his head back, bearing the long line of his throat. "Fuck," he gasped. His eyes opened to look up at me and even through his haze of desire he asks. "Okay?"
Feeling powerful and sexy I roll my hips in answer and he moans. His hands come up and grasp my hips. He lifts his, pushing into me despite me being on top. We move together and I lose myself in the feel of him. I curled a hand around his neck pulling him closer, digging my fingers into his skin, desperate to feel more.
There's heat running through my veins like fire and I know it's him. It's what he's feeling and I want nothing more than to make it match the building pressure inside of me. We move together until I can't focus any more, can't keep the rhythm and am lost in the sheer bliss. With a twist of his hips he pushes me over the edge once again. I let out a shout and he grips my hips, slamming into me to join me. He shudders once, twice, and throws his head back with a satisfied groan.
I collapsed bonelessly onto his chest, still shaking with aftershocks. He shifts me to his side and quickly trashes the condom before gathering me back up in his arms. He buried a hand in my hair and the other gripped my thigh, holding me possessively against him. I was entirely surrounded by his warm strength and for the briefest moment I felt his peace just before he drifted off.
Satisfied, I curled into him, wrapping my arms around his neck, I fell asleep draped across Dean's chest.
><><
Hope you enjoyed the update!
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: AzTruyen.Top