Yoongi kept his head down as the members continued to scold him for the choices he had made. He felt his heart pounding in his chest as anxieties ran through his head. 

Will they hate me forever?
Will they kick me out?
Will they tell the company what I have done?
What about Namju and Sookin?

"And is there anything else we should know about, while we're at it?" Jin asked angrily. Yoongi shook his head no. The rest of them looked at Jungkook expectantly, but he also shook his head. From what he understood, Yoongi had admitted to everything there was to admit to.

The members finally all took a breath and stopped yelling at the rapper. They were running out of things to yell as more anger and confusion filled their heads.

"I don't know what else to say except I'm sorry." Yoongi wiped the tears that were still trickling down his face. "I know there's really no excuse."

Hobi turned to Namjoon. "What do we do now? What do we do about this?"

"I don't know," the leader replied. There was silence as the members sat down around the living room. Hobi and Taehyung were still a bit shaken up from the car accident so they huddled next to each other. Jungkook still had a pretty bad headache and Jimin was now rubbing his back.

Yoongi finally looked up. His heart was too broken and he couldn't find any way possible for him to forgive himself, and he surely didn't expect any of his members to ever forgive him. "If you'd like to get rid of me or kick me out, I understand," he said as he felt his heart break even more.

The rest of them looked at each other with some confusion. That hadn't been discussed, but the members could tell by each other's eyes that nobody immediately wanted Yoongi gone either. He'd been their member and brother for years. They didn't see how they could just throw him away.

"We will figure it out," Jin said sternly. He let out a loud sigh and rubbed his temples. "This is a lot to take in at once."

"So we're all in some kind of trouble now?" Namjoon asked nervously. "Those men you were working with are after everyone?"

"I...I don't know. I don't know what their problem is. I didn't do anything bad to them!" Yoongi cried, unaware that he was becoming defensive of himself. He truly didn't understand why the two were now targeting his other members just because they were still mad with Jungkook.

"Should we call the police?" Hobi asked.

"And tell them what?! That Yoongi hyung has been selling drugs for months and his accomplices are after all of us?!" Taehyung replied, annoyed.

A fear shot through Yoongi's chest when he thought of the police. If the members decided to tell the police everything, he knew his entire career was over. He never imagined his life coming to this.

"We're not telling the police what Yoongi did," Jin replied. As angry as he was, he still loved and cared about his dongsaeng. "I need a damn break from this. We can figure something out later." Jin's head was spinning and he wanted time to relax and take in all the information he was given at once. The rest of them told Yoongi he needed to figure out how to get his two accomplices off their backs before they actually had to get some kind of security involved, which they didn't want to do because they all knew Yoongi would get in trouble.

"And you know what else you can sit there and think about?" Namjoon said harshly. Yoongi stared at him, listening. "You can think about all the damage you've caused. All the pain and hurt you've caused. The anxiety and fear you've caused because you were feeling too damn selfish to come to us when you needed ideas." Namjoon and the others walked away to their rooms. They all needed some time to digress.

Yoongi watched his members all disappear.

Look what you've done. You idiot. You piece of absolute garbage. You've caused all of this, and they're never going to forgive you for it. You deserve whatever they decide to do.

He thought again about what Namjoon had said. About him possibly ending up dead if he hadn't been caught sooner.

Dead. You deserve to die.

The thoughts were taking over his entire mind and body as he stood up and retreated to his own room to sulk. He threw himself on his bed and sobbed into his pillow. Every part of him wanted to die. He figured it'd be less painful than seeing his members so hurt and angry with him. They'd probably be safer if I was dead anyway. He lay there for a moment and remembered he still had drugs with him. They were hidden in a small box in the back of his closet, waiting for his next nightly run. A nightly run he'd never be making again because not only did he know he was going to be done with that life, he realized he was willing to be done with life in general.

He got up and made his way to his closet.

He found the box of pills and picked it up, staring at it. This will fix everything. They can't be mad at me anymore if I just cease to exist. He brought the box to his bed and sat down, staring at the half full water bottle that was already on his table.

He was scared. But it's for the best. This will protect them. And I would do anything to protect them. Even if that means giving my life.

He let some more tears fall as he slowly opened his water bottle. He looked at the pills and wondered how many he should take to ensure he wouldn't wake up. Two? Three? Five? Nine?

He decided not to bother counting. He poured a handful in his hand and stared at them for a moment. I'm so sorry for doing this to you all. I'm so sorry, everyone.

He took a deep breath and dumped the pills into his mouth, swallowing them with the rest of his water. He crawled underneath his blanket.

Ready to fall asleep.