Love doesn't need to be perfect, it just needs to be true.

~Unknown

Jagati

Okay! What the fudge just happened now?

My heart feels like it just raced a marathon, my fingers are freezing cold, there is this fluttering in my stomach and tingles all over my body.

Dream about you and me..

Did that really happen or am I day dreaming? Or Am I starting to hallucinate things? Did Devansh just kiss me thrice in a span of an 10 minutes?

Of course dumbo, he did.

He did? That was real, It all happened. I touched my cheek, feeling his lips lingering on them...

Devansh kissed me.

The thought of his hate gave me anxiety attacks, so I prepared myself for the hate he was gonna give me, but ever since we left to his house, he is being nice, like his old self, and like my Dev with me, If not he is being way too friendly, cocky, goofy and silly.

"Why do look so red, and why are you touching your face repeatedly?" Dhruv asked me with a puzzled look on his face, lying in the middle of my bed.

I immediately withdrew my hand from my face and wanted to kill myself for acting without reading the room I am in.

"What are you doing in my room?" I questioned his question, not wanting to answer putting a straight face on, and killing all the senses that came alive after years.

"Hmm...you are dodging my question and are blushing ever since you came in here, Did you do some hanky-panky business with your lover boy.. " He said with scrunched up eyebrows, walking to me and scrutinizing my every move and action.

I feel like a robber being investigated by a cop, with the sweat on my face and hands.

Dhruv will go rampage if he knows that Devansh came on to me, he is more protective of me than Karthik.

I can't let him know about this, he will kill Devansh. I mustered up the courage after taking a few gulps and said.

"Stop talking crap Dhruv, and Act your age. I have work to do unlike you...so, move."

"Work later, I am leaving tomorrow early in the morning..Talk to me, entertain me..." He pouted asking me and I gave in.

He is leaving back to his home tomorrow morning as his spring semester started 2 days back. I am gonna miss him, I wish I could keep Dhruv with me forever, but I know that can't be possible, he has his own life and he will get more worried with the new confusing behavior of Devansh.

One small decision and one jealous person like Nelson changed my life.

We jumped on to my bed and talked about every useless topic in the world, called Arjun, Danny and all the kids. Dhruv slept watching the movie but for my eyes sleep was off the books, I couldn't sleep with so many thoughts racing my head.

Devansh used to be my solace, but now he is the reason for my pain and worry, I don't know how to get out of that pain, I am stuck and I can't take that pain out.

Why me..When will this end? I did hurt him by lying but he hurt me till I broke into pieces, I am still gathering each and every piece to rebuild myself.

Life never goes how we planned, I was supposed to stay in a hotel and finish the work, but Uncle requested me and my parents to let me stay with them and then I prepared myself to avoid Devansh at all costs and stay away from him but now that's down the drain too.

I am feeling all this because I still love him , but Why is Devansh doing this? Is there any hidden motive behind this new change?

I don't know how to prepare myself for tomorrow, I just want to pull my hair out in frustration.

Should I take my antidepressants again, they can keep my emotions in check.

Remember how hard it was to get over that addiction, and all the efforts Dhruv and Arjun put on you.. Are you gonna disappoint them?

No, I am not, I can't do that. I know what to do, I am going to run away from him..Yup, that sounds right. I will do that..run away from him and this confusing feelings..

Now you are dreaming with your eyes wide open, you know that's not gonna be possible living in his house and sleeping in a room adjacent to his.

Why can't you support me and help me with my plans?

Because they won't work, stop thinking about him and concentrate on your work, that part you can control..

Whatever..

I shrugged at myself, opened my laptop and started working, the only thing which can put a pause on all the wild thoughts racing in my brain. I opened my laptop and started working on my projects and talked to a few more people for new opportunities.

My eyes felt droopy and my body and brain were shutting down making me look at the clock. It was 4 in the morning, so I closed everything and slept on the couch looking at Dhruv sprawled on the bed from one corner to another.

"Moonshine..wake up! It's time for me to leave.." I heard Dhruv after 5 min of sleeping.

"Dhruv..please 10 more minutes and your plane is around noon. I just slept now.." I groaned at him hugging my comforter and pulling it closer.

"You go and get ready Dhruv, I will wake her up in 5 minutes." I heard a new voice which sounded like Devansh.

Dhruv is a big prankster, he might be using a voice modulator to wake me up, I am not falling in that trap now, So I didn't respond.

I felt someone brush my hair sending me into a deep slumber, It felt like I was in my mothers lap, while she is massaging my head, while my father sat with us on the bed looking at us with overwhelming love in his eyes.

"Please wake up Janu.., I will get you a brownie if you do.."" I heard a loving, smooth voice which felt like music to my ears.

"Promise.." I whispered imaging the brownie I didn't eat from the last 3 days and then the voice chuckled hard.

That's when, I opened my eyes and saw Devansh kneeling at the couch and looking at me with a smile.

He looked so beautiful, those eyes twinkling like stars, his smile just made my heart tug and warm all over my body.

He just kissed me last night and I am dreaming about him, I should definitely go to a doctor now. But I miss this smile on his face, I miss waking up to him pampering like this, I miss his hugs and kisses.

"Promise..Wake up now, Dhruv has to leave.." He said patting my head lovingly.

Holy grandmother of cheeseballs!

I felt his touch... Which means Devansh is here..in my room.. This is not a dream.

My eyes bulged out of the sockets as I could see him breathing with his two lungs, talking with his own tongue.

Mission avoid Devansh failed Creep..

No this can't be happening..I immediately got up and stood on the couch I was sleeping on, and covered my cute cupcake jammies in the comforter.

"DHRUVV...DHRUVVV.." I yelled out his name, to kick out Devansh from my room.

Technically it's his room, because it's his house.

Just shut up for a minute.

"My mom took him to the temple for blessings.." Devansh replied with an amusing smile playing on his lips and my face fell at his answer, how could Dhruv let this happen?

He looks so handsome in his icy blue polo shirt,and look at those muscles flexing. Yum...If I were you I would just jump on him instead of looking for Dhruv.

And then what? realize that he doesn't love me and I am only one desperate person in the relationship. Keep quiet I have to think of something, to run away from here.

That's when an amazing idea popped in my head..

"AHHHHHHHHHH..." I started screaming out loud making him focus on the the screeching voice coming out of my mouth.

As his face showed confusion and he closed his eyes and ears blocking my voice, I took that small window, jumped on to the bed from the couch and ran out the door like a ninja, till I hit uncle in the living room

Uncle quickly stood before me sheilding me with his body, and I could feel that he was really tensed and worried for me.

"What happened Janu? I don't see anyone here.. Are you okay?" He asked turning around and looking at me.

"I had a bad dream Uncle...I am sorry." I quickly mumbled to him feeling guilty for worrying him.

"It's okay Janu, Go and get ready before your Aunty comes back." He said walking me to my room.

I locked the door immediately and ran to the bathroom for a shower, enjoying the hot water hitting my body relaxing myself from the amazing start of my day.

I locked myself in the room didn't come out of the it till I heard Dhruv bang on the door.

I walked to the dining table with Dhruv as we sat down for breakfast, I could feel Devansh's eyes on me, making me conscious, my heart beat go higher and higher. My heart felt like it was gonna explode any second.

Thankfully, the driver came in and informed that the car was ready for Dhruv. I walked upstairs to give him the gift I bought for him which is the rare 1st edition Captain America comic book. He is gonna be so freaked out when he sees this.

When I reached down I could see Dhruv and Devansh hugging each other and talking seriously.

Did I hit my head on the way down? Dhruv is being nice to Devansh....

"Moonshine..Don't miss me, complete the project fast and come back. Eat properly, stop working too much and don't forget to call me everyday." He said pulling me into a hug while I was still confused with what happened seconds before.

"I am the adult here..you take care." I warned and placed the neatly wrapped gift in his hand.

"What were you talking to Devansh." I asked Dhruv as soon as Devansh moved away from us.

"Why? Are you jealous?"He cocked his eyebrow at me.

"Pfftt.. me..Jelaous about him..No way...Just curious." I blabbered at him while Dhruv scrutinized my every movement.

"Okay, relax Moonshine! Stop overthinking things and enjoy." He said deeply and I nodded.

Soon Aunty, Uncle and Devansh came to car to wave him off, I stood there till the car disappeared out of my vision waving my hand at him, trying to push my tears back inside.

All of sudden I felt like a kid, who's parents dropped them off at a new unknown place, I feel alone, scared and restless.

I acted high and mighty when Jamie asked me to not take up this project but now I regret it, I want to go back and stay with them. I don't want to be here anymore.

"It's okay to miss him, he will come back during his spring break. Don't worry!" Devansh told me, and I quickly pushed away the tear that left my eye.

I didn't want to break down before him out of everyone, I took an oath to never ever let him see me cry. So, I brushed him off and started walking back into the house ignoring him.

"Come with me, for a minute. I have to talk to you.." He stopped me by holding my hand before I could climb out the stairs.

"I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to hear what you have to say..I don't want anything to do with you...I regret coming back here..Stop acting nice..stop confusing me..stop all this..." I yelled at him closing my ears, but looking at his sad face gave me pain.

Why is this happening? Why does it hurt me? Why is there no end to this pain?

"I am sorry Janu..I deserve all your anger." He mumbled hanging his head low hiding his tears, his pained face just snapped my heart.

"Angry..This is not me mad at you Dev...I hurts every single day...I watched you give up on me..I watched you break my heart...You broke me..you were supposed to love me more than anything...I begged you to listen to and you never did, you left me to die." I yelled at him probing at his chest.

"I hate you..I hate you so much...I should...I should hate you, but the truth is I hate myself more, because it still hurts to see you in pain, it hurts me for being mad at you, it hurts everywhere.." I told him clutching my chest in between sobs, while he came forward and brushed the tears with his fingers.

I couldn't stop my tears, I couldn't control all the emotions flowing through my body, the emotion that I have been holding on for so long.

I felt really hot all of a sudden, and I could see all the lighting in room go bright and dull simultaneously..

"Janu...are you okay?" was the last thing I heard followed by a thud before everything went dark shutting down all my senses.

I feel void of pain and emotions that were burdening me..The darkness surrounding me felt nice and comforting, this is where I can pretend that everything is fine.

"Janu...Janu." I heard someone plead, which pulled me out of the darkness before I could give in to it.

I opened my eyes slowly and found myself in my room with a worried looking Devansh on my bedside with his eyes swollen red and miserable.

"Hi.."I mumbled in a coarse tone grabbing his attention. He looked at me in shock, got up of his chair, handed me glass of water and helped me sit up.

"How long was I out for?" I asked him chugging the water like my life depended on it.

"7 minutes."

"How frequent do you have these?" He questioned me while I analyzed all the data from the past.

"Can I plead the 5th Amendment?" I said to him not wanting answer him.

"This is India, there are no amendments here." He said taking the glass of my hands.

"This is my 7th and the shortest one so far..Divya di, would consider this an improvement. The longest was for 2 days.." I smiled at him while he looked like someone punched his guts out.

Yeah, you did...remember all the stuff you said to him.

I screwed up, why can't I shut my mouth and keep things to myself.

"I am sorry about the outburst..I was just overwhelmed that Dhruv was leaving and took it out on you..ignore what I said, I know how to keep my emotions in check and maintain my work ethics." I apologized to him, he looked sad but quickly put on a smile.

"I didn't tell my parents or anyone about this because I thought you wouldn't like it. Take rest for sometime..I'll be back with some food for you." He said completely ignoring my previous statement.

Talking to him is so easy, but ignoring him and his lovely actions are taking so much energy which caused my new outburst leading to me passing out. I should find a solution for this sooner or later.

As promised he got me some Maggie, and brownie on the side, he stayed with me in the room till I completed eating and left the room after I dozed off feeling loved in the silence between us.

"How are you feeling now? " Aunty asked me as I got downstairs feeling refreshed, it felt like a ton of rocks were lifted off my chest.

"Good as new Aunty. I have so much energy in me so I will help you with dinner tonight." I told hugging her.

Nothing can ever beat the warmth your heart feels from a hug.

I begged her till she gave in and started working on making dinner along with Aunty, I made food once in my life for my dad with Aunty's help. Uncle came in after some time to check up on us, but Devansh was no where in sight.

I didn't have the guts to ask Aunty and Uncle about him. So, we ate dinner and I went back to my room and started the work that was waiting for me.

After some time I heard a knock on my door, and my heart jumped in happiness hoping for it be Devansh. I ruffled my clothes, jumped to the door in one step and quickly unbolted the door and found the face, I've been waiting to look for ever since I woke up.

I could die just looking at him.

"Hi..I didn't expect you to open the door for me. Are you okay?" He asked recovering from the shock I just gave him.

"I am fine, did you have dinner?" I asked him doubting if it was the same person who wanted to run away from him.

"Not yet, come with me for a minute. I'll make it worth it for sure...Please." He begged me with his eyes  and I didn't have the heart to refuse him.

I walked with him ignoring all the red alerts my brain is sending me. It was like I was under his spell, not knowing where is going to take me, because I know that I can never run away from him.

So that was the update, I am like the super fast express train now.

Did you like that chapter?

Do you see Janu going back to her oldself?

Don't forget to vote and comment.

Love,

Sneha