It takes a wise man to handle a lie, a fool had better remain honest.
~ Norman Douglas

why is everything so sexist?

Every quote or saying says A man or He. Did they not have a she or a woman in their vocabulary? Couldn't they say a person or a human being instead.

They use He or Man for these but when it comes to bad words like bitch, bastard or any bad words in any language, they always target women. 

The world is so misogynistic and it makes wanna go Arghhhh....

I am gonna stop my rumble and start the chapter now.

Jagruthi

It's been two and half months since I joined this college, it was hard for me at first, making friends, time management, the education aspect of a college is still hard.

Man, I hate tests. Are they really the measure of the knowledge I possess? I don't think so.

We have pop quizzes, The teachers go, I don't feel like teaching a class but I do wanna torcher you guys, so let's have a pop quiz and ruin your happiness, that's what happened today in our Physics class. As usual I sucked at it I guess, but let's see.

Manju, Sahastra and me are in the same class. We won't be in the same class next year though. Their major is CSE and mine is ECE. Manju always sits in the second bench with Bhargavi. She never joins me and Sahastra. Manju and Sahastra are polar opposites.

Manju wanted to join some clubs and Sahastra is talking to some of her friends, I don't want to be involved in that mishap. I left them and came to our room. Sahastra's friends are noisy and too much for me. I saw Kajal packing her clothes as soon as she walked into the room.

"Kaju, Are you going somewhere?"

"No! I'm packing to donate. We have to wear uniforms from Monday, So I don't need these clothes anymore." Kajal said stuffing them in a bag.

I smiled at her, she is a kindest of all. I wish she was in my class. She donates all her clothes and unused things every year. Never throws food away, and such a perfectionist. I walked to her and gave some of my clothes for her to donate.

"KAJUUU, JAAANU!" Manju yelled coming into the room and started jumping hugging us.

"What happened Manju? Why are we jumping?" I asked her laughing at her craziness.

My bond with my roommates strengthened within these 2 months. I like Manju a lot, she is makes me wanna improve a lot in every aspect.

"You won't believe what happened today. I found the best club for us to join. It's called Healing hands and Helping Hearts. It's a club where we can do social service every weekend, by teaching school kids, helping people." She said with excitement.

"Amazing! Count me in." Kajal said

And both of them looked at me for an answer.

"Duh! I'm in too. But before I sign up, I need to talk to Papa and Karthik." I told them and nodded and hugged me hard.

"I'm sure, uncle is going to say yes." Kajal said with a smile.

They all spoke with my father, it's just that they didn't see him. I smiled at the thought of them actually seeing him, that would be an amazing sight to see.

"Okay! They have this welcome meet tomorrow at 2. We can all go there together." Manju said looking at the brochure.

"Where are you going?" Sahastra asked us coming into the room.

"We are joining this new club and it has a welcome meet at 2 tomorrow." I replied looking at her.

"You can't go! I signed us up to volunteer for the first cricket match at LP school of Engineering. All my friends are coming, Devansh and Aarthav are playing." Sahastra said giggling through the last part, which made Manju snort in annoyance.

Sahastra is friends with Devansh and Aarthav, I couldn't talk to him after Sahastra confided in me that she has a crush on Devansh. I would never have a chance with him anyway, I mean how can I compete with Ms.Fresher Face of the year here. He always tries to talk to me if I am with Sahastra but I try my best to ignore him, and stare at him from the far.

"How can you do that without asking us?" Kajal asked glaring at her.

"I didn't sign you up, I just signed up for Jagruthi." She said in a rude tone and shrugged her shoulders.

I didn't like it, her ignorance pissed me off to the core. They are our friends too and I have to stand by them.

"I'm sorry, You shouldn't have done that Sahastra. I can't come, I promised that I would go with them. Sorry" I told her in a rigid tone and her face expressions changed at my loud reply.

And here comes the water works, I thought to myself because she started crying. I hate this one thing about her. 

"I'm sorry Jagruthi, I thought you were my friend and you would be excited to come along with me. You know that I have a crush on Devansh, I was so excited that they are playing, I didn't think you would say no." She said in between her tears.

I looked at Manju who rolled her eyes, and Kajal has a sad look on her face. So, I caved in feeling guilty. 

Manju and Kajal are not great fans of Sahastra, they think that she is an opportunist and only talks to when she needs something, but she is my friend right? 

"It's okay Sahu, I will come and just don't repeat the same thing next time." I told consoling her ignoring the glares of Manju and Kajal boring into my head.

She smiled brushing her tears off and hugged me.

What did I get myself into? Karthik is going to kill me if sees me going outside. He warned me a bazillion times that I can't go out without him by my side. I just hope he doesn't catch me for one day.

After that we all went down stairs to the dining hall had dinner and it is almost 10 now, which is the time to call my papa and mama every day. Manju is reading a book as usual, Kajal is sleeping and Sahastra is at her other friends room getting ready for tomorrow.

"Hello, my precious." My dad said picking up the phone.

"Hello, precious's papa." I said back to him. I miss my parents, Staying here is good but when I listen to their voices, I earn the comfort and warmth that I had for years in life.

"I'm going to volunteer at a cricket match tomorrow with Sahastra." I told him because I can't lie to my father. I never lie when it comes to him. I might not live a truthful life but my family is where i can be me.

"Your daughter has to learn how to say no uncle." Manju yelled from her bed making me roll my eyes.

So, I had to explain the whole situation to my father and Manju listed out all the parts I skipped to my father.

"Manju is correct honey! you should say no, you can't get yourself into uncomfortable situations like this in the future." My mama agreed with Manju.

"Did you know that women have a hard time saying no to people? Its a toxic objectification of womanhood that exerts women to seek self worth and value in other people's expectations and fulfillment of roles defined by this patriarchal society. Ughh, I hate men...." She said and let out a frustrated sigh.

Was that all English? Maybe I should ask her to talk in slow motion so I can understand her.

"Wow, I love her." My mother said to me about Manju.

My father laughed at her outburst and I thought that's the Manju I know. We talked for some more time and slept.

I woke up at 10, brushed my teeth and kept fidgeting with myself if need a shower. If you don't stink then you are good to go and I did take one last night before sleeping so let's skip it . I pulled out a sweatshirt and torn jeans from the cupboard and brushed my hair.

I then found Sahastra who's looking like a runway model. Is she going in as a cheer leader or a volunteer? I look like a homeless person beside her. 

Who cares right? Not this girl. I dress up for my comfort.

Sahastra's friends Deeksha, Prathima and Sana joined us at the main gate who gave me a cringe look at my outfit. Sana has a car, so she picked us up and drove to the LP college. To Sahastra's friends I'm like a stray dog she took in, Sahastra is a nice person with a wrong friends, that's it.

We reached the university and started walking to the cricket stadium. This so overwhelming, the amount of people watching a cricket match here is unbelievable.

Why is our country obsessed with cricket?

All the other girls went into the dressing rooms to help the guys out. I didn't wanna get in there with a room full of guys, so I'm waiting on the bleachers by the dressing room.

Is this what volunteering is? I'm so bored and too many people clustered in such a small place is making claustrophobic.  I've never been with more than 10 people at a time. I could feel my heart beat getting faster, and the heat is not helping either.

Why did I not think about the crowds in a stadium? I am so dumb. My chest started to hurt making me clutch my body and shiver in pain.

A loud sound echoed through the whole stadium, I flinched at the sound and my mind jumped to the one and only painful memory of my life.

BOOM

"There she is, grab her and shove her in the truck." A masked man came from behind and tried to pull me towards them.

Whats happening? Is this some kind of Youtube prank people are doing these days. Nice, I get to be on a famous YouTube video then.

I came out today with mom to make something special for our family. It's a really big day for us, papa's life long dream bill got approved last month. So we are having a one month anniversary with our family. Mom went to pick up the milk from the other aisle.

This didn't look a prank, the people coming to me are reeking and scary pushing me into a panicked state.

"MAMA, MAMA" I yelled out as loud as could and my mother came running to me.

"Looks like we got a 2 for 1 bonus, grab the Collector madam too. We are gonna show the world and that Dhanraj can't do anything he wants." one of the guys who held me said to the other one.

"Mama run, don't come. Leave mama" I pleaded my mother before she could move some other person knocked her on the head with a wooden log in his hand and made her unconscious and she dropped on the floor making me quiet.

They shoved me and mama into the back of a truck and started driving.

"Mama, wake up. Mama Wake up." I cried and cried and but mama's not waking up.

Mama wake up, please god help me. Help me get out of this truck. Mama, Mama wake up.

"Hey Jagruthi! It's fine, every thing is okay?" Someone touched me and I shuddered at the touch.

All I could see was mama lying on the truck bed unconscious and helpless. I feel like trash not being able to help her tied in a corner with nothing to do except cry.

"Mama, Mama! Wake up." I mumbled in tears.

"Take deep breathe, Long breathe.. Common breath with me. " The voice said and I felt a touch on my hand and I followed the soothing voice.

"Inhale...."

"Exhale...."

"Common, repeat the same thing . Inhale.." The soothing voice said and after a few seconds  I came out of the trance and I looked at the person beside me.

Devansh, What is he doing here?

How does he always appear when I am in pain? Does he have a Janu's pain sensor on him? I brushed the tears of my face and sat straight and looked at my surroundings.

Where am I?

I'm sitting in the corner of this dusty room, There is no crowd or noise, it's all sports equipment in here. And Devansh is sitting on his toes in front of me, I kept looking at him as he shuffled through his bag and gave me his water bottle.

"Why do I always find you in this state? Do you wanna go to a doctor?" He asked me and I shook my head.

"Drink this." He said handing me the water.

"Thank you." I muttered and gulped down the whole bottle too embarrassed to look at him.

"Nice shirt." He said and I smiled at his compliment.

I sat there looking at him, he is wearing our schools cricket uniform, Red and white brings out his beautiful eyes. 

"If something like this happens again, try to think about happy memories. I know its hard to talk about things but please find someone to talk to. Sharing your pain helps." He said gazing into my soul, like he was looking for answers fo my pain.

He stood up and gave me his hand for support to get up after ending his monologue. Tingles passed through my body as I held his hard calloused hand.

Oh really! Was there a jolt of electricity too? Any glimpse of flashback I should know about?

This is not Magadheera movie creep, Stop imagining things and get into reality.

My conscience is such a party pooper eh? 

"Don't tell about this to anyone? " I pleaded him getting up ignoring the stupid voice in my head.

This is the first time, I never had this problem before. He thought for a mere second before replying.

"Promise me you will find some one to talk to?" He requested with his golden orbs which made my knees weak.

"I will" I whispered to him looking at his beautiful eyes.

"Let me know if you need any help in the future, I will always be there for you Jagruthi." He said holding my hand tighter as we walked towards Sahastra and her friends who are in the bleachers now.

"Where were you?"Sahastra came to me running as soon as she saw me with Devansh.

"She got lost looking for you guys, I found her near the equipment room and got her here." Devansh said looking at Sahastra giving her his cheeky smile.

She is ogling at face and ignored whatever he told, and I didn't like him smiling at her.

You don't own him and he can smile at whoever he wants and just so you know, I thought you gave up on him. 

I wish I could own him, let's ask his parents to sell him to me?

Like a slave? Oh my god, You really are the biggest creep ever Janu. 

Only when it comes to him.

Don't blush at the thought, I wanna puke my guts out at your stupid words. Gross!

"Bye Jagruthi! Take care." He said leaving my hand and I missed his strong and warm hold. He gave me one last concerned look with his eyes and walked away from us.

"OMG! He is so hot, look at his face. Aww... I could kiss the life out of him." She gushed at the disappearing Devansh.

"He is so nice to help someone like you, I wish I got lost and he helped me." She said and pulled me to her friends.

What did she mean by someone like me? I don't understand this girl, she says things which hurt people. I don't know if does this on purpose or if its her being clumsy with words.

The match was about to start, MIMU team won the toss and picked to bowl. All the players walked by us and I saw Devansh smile at me and I smiled back. Apparently is a T20 which means it has 20 overs, and each over has 6 balls.

I felt to so out of loop with Sahastra and her friends today, there topics of interest and mine don't match. So, I kept quite the whole time and kinda gotta a unwanted vibe from them. I was on in my own world looking at the crowd cheering for a catch, miss and whatnot. I felt someone standing in front of me so I lifted my head up and found a furious looking Karthik glaring at me.

"What are you doing here? Why didn't you tell me you were coming to watch a stupid cricket match?" He yelled at me gaining everyones attention around us.

I stood up quickly and held his hand to apologize.

"I volunteered to help for and I told papa that I'm coming here." I told him quietly not wanting to make a scene.

"I don't care, the deal was for you to tell me every single fucking thing Janu. I can't trust you anymore. You are not leaving the hostel without my permission. Do you understand?" He questioned and I nodded with my head bent feeling sad about the pain I caused him.

I should have told him, It was my mistake. Papa sent me here because of Karthik and he deserves to know.

"Don't listen to him Jagruthi, he is not the boss of you. Do you have to meddle in every single thing? Let  her live a little." Sahastra interrupted and made Karthik furious.

I don't know why but Karthik loathes her and always told me to stay away from her.

"SHUT UP, I have every right over her, she is my family. " He roared at her and took me away from them before I could say sorry to her.

He dragged me to his car, with his stupid long feet I had to practically run behind him.

"Sorry Karthik, I didn't mean to hide things from you. I knew you would say no." I stated putting my seatbelt on not able to tolerate the silent treatment anymore.

"You don't know the pain we all went through when we couldn't find you and Aunty. Papa and Uncle J were devastated. I had to step up and do everything. I hated myself for not coming with you guys that day, I wish I did things differently. I felt the same again when you didn't pick my call today, I get worried Janu. You are my only sister, please don't do this to me again." He said in tears.

Karthik is not a man of tears, and looking at him like this makes me feel like a jerk for hurting him.

"Its okay Karthik, I'm fine now see. I'm fit as a fiddle." I told him showing my legs and hands but he didn't respond.

"I, Jagati Jagadeesh Dhanraj solemnly swear to never deceive or withhold information from you my sweet little brother Karthik Ramesh Ravichandran." I said holding my hand near the heart making the highest kind of promise I could.

He pulled me to him and kissed me on my head. I love Karthik, he is everything a little sister could ask for.

That was the end of the chapter.

Any Schitt's Creek fans here?  

That's such a amazing show.

I have this weird thing, I can't complete a good show. I always leave out the last season or episode because I don't like the idea of ending good things in life. My sister says that it's a mental issue, like she knows 😏.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter.

Don't forget to Vote and Comment 

Love,

Sneha