The first duty of love is to listen.

~Paul Tillich

Devansh

How do you find some one who doesn't want to be found?

The answer to that question from any normal person would be is to leave them alone, the more you impose on them, the more they go away from you.

But my situation is not normal, to the world I am looking for a ghost, there is no Jagruthi or Jagati, I can't tell anyone that she is dead daughter of our CM, it will surely make people think that I am a lunatic, spreading false rumors as the election is near by. I am stuck in a vortex without no way out.

My only way is through her parents and family, so I am doing that right now.

The agriculture minister, Mr. Shastri a 65 year old man, who was really impressed with my creations so much that, he arranged a meeting with Mr. Dhanraj to help me and give some more funding so they can use them state wide. And here we are outside his office, waiting for us to be called in.

"Sir, You guys can go in now." A lady told us, I stood up and adjusted my outfit to look perfect.

How will he react on seeing me? Do they know the complete story? What if they kick me out?

"Devansh, come lets go." Mr. Shastri called me out loud from the door.

My heart is racing at 1000 miles per hour, every inch of my body is sweating in fear. What if I ruin everything? This one move might ruin my career and life.

Please god! Help me, find the love of my life and secure my career.

As I walked into his office, the security head glared at me with all the energy he got. He came forward and performed a hands-on search on me, this guy hates me. If looks could kill me, I would've died the second I set in this room.

Does that mean she is not alive?

"Shyam, leave the poor kid alone." Mr. Dhanraj said from his chair coming to my rescue, Mr.Shyam left the room giving me one last glare.

I smiled at Mr.Dhanraj and my rubbed the sweaty palm on my pants before joining his for a shake hand.

Mr. Shastri went on and on about all my devices, while I gave him all the statistics and information about them and their functionalities, he seemed completely impressed and involved with all I had to say.

Did he recognize me? That question has been bugging my mind ever since I walked into this room.

"Great Job, Devansh! I would sure love to allot money to this. If not from the government, I'll fund you personally." Mr.Dhanraj said to me.

"Thank you sir, I really appreciate your contributio.." I was cut off as the door opened revealing Mrs. Dhanraj with a worried look on her face.

"Sruthi, What are you doing here at this time?" Mr. Dhanraj asked her in shock.

She is a nice and warm woman, and I talked to her a lot when me and Janu were together. She would definitely be helpful to me right now.

"I was in here for some work and thought to meet you. Hello Shastri ji, How are you doing? Aunty told me you are not talking your tablets on time:" She asked walking to us with a smile.

"Hello Sruthi Beta, You know her, she worries for small things. I am fit than this boy here." Mr. Shastri said laughing pointing me and in all the time she just completely ignored my presence.

I could sense her hostile energy towards me from her looks. Before she could reply, Mr. Shastri's phone rang and he walked out of the room for some privacy.

"Hi Aunty! How are you?" I asked her while she just glared at me.

"I thought I saw him somewhere, He was the one from Janu's college right?" Mr. Dhanraj asked his wife and she nodded at him.

"Good to know that you are doing great. Did you see the things he did Sruthi? He is using technology for farming, and that too in a price effective way." He shared the news excitedly showing her my prototypes.

"I heard Jag, Good job Devansh." She appreciated me but she clearly didn't mean it.

"Where is.."

"I suggest we keep this professional and don't get into personal matters." She cut me off before I could ask her and left the room dragging Mr. Dhanraj with her leaving me devastated at the failure.

All the plan I had is down the drain, Why is this happening to me? Why can't I get her back into my life.

"Congrats Devansh, We will get the check in a few days and hope you can improve the supply and work with others in building more." Mr. Shastri said as I was cursing my luck.

I left the office and updated Aarthav on call as he was out of station because of work.

I have been searching for her from the last 2 months and I couldn't find zilch on her. All the doors leading to her and closed shut and locked outside not letting me pass through them.

As promised I got a personal and government funded check from Mr. Dhanraj, I hired 4 people from the near by villages who seemed interested previously and coached them through the things and we all started working on it.

Professionally my life is getting better with each passing day, but the the guilt and pain in my heart is never ending. Today I am meeting up with Aarthav as he found something about Janu, I hope it's not a dead end like the past 4 months now.

"Why are we meeting in your office?" I asked him walking into the room.

"I have a so much work to do, and I am lagging behind." He replied looking into the computer.

"So, What's new update?"

"I think she is alive. I exactly don't know where she is, but a 1 and half month ago, the college released her transcripts to her school account. I hired someone to hack the location but that IP address seemed to bounce all over the world, must be in a highly secured place." He said showing me the copy of her transcripts, which shows that she completed all her 8 semesters with an outstanding GPA in the last two.

She is alive, she is breathing, she is...I can't believe this. She is out there some where, all I have to do now is find out where exactly she is..

I feel relieved, like this humungous rock is taken off my shoulders. My Janu is alive, the words I have been longing to hear from so long.

"Dude, you gotta look at this?" He said and turned his Desktop so we both could see.

It was Mr.Dhanraj, Mrs. Dhanraj with Mr. Shastri and so many other leaders and some white guys talking, Aarthav increased the volume.

"Today, We are happy to announce a new project with Global and John Deere. This is going to help employ thousands of people, with their new manufacturing plant here in our own state. Also, John Deere is willing to help 5 villages and show them how to improve our farming methods using their tools for free. This project will be starting from January and the village names will be released in a few days on the states website. We are gonna start a new year with so many new possibilities.."

"How does this man do this? He must be in one heck of a luck to get these many achievements in the last one year." Aarthav said turning the volume down.

The whole room was happy about the project but not Mr. Dhanraj, he looks sad and angry at the same time. His smile has so much resemblance my Janu's, so I just know that it's not a real one.

I hope nothing is wrong with Janu, I hope she is alright and healthy. I want her to be.

"We are going to Nidhi and Sammy's wedding on the 5th. Are you in?" Aarthav asked me breaking my chain of thoughts.

Nidhi and Sammy are getting married, and they invited everyone from our college, which included me. Manjula wanted to go to the wedding and her father wouldn't allow her to go on her own, so she asked Aarthav to tag along using the fiancé title for her father.

"I have some work as it's the end of harvesting season, we'll have send the crop to the mills and fertilize the lands. I'll try to make it to the reception." I told him thinking about all the work waiting for me at home.

We brainstormed about ways to look for her, and I left as it was almost 7 and I had to drive for 4 hours back home.

We couldn't find anything after that email, every IP address we traced to lead to a dead end. Now, that I know she is alive and breathing, I just want to see her and apologize, I want to feel her once and be in the same room as her, breathe the same air.

"Bhai, we got an order to test another 1000 samples, and we need to deliver 2o more drones." Veera the new addition to our teams said to after getting off his phone.

"All our equipment is not ready yet, it will take some more time, how much more money do we need?" I asked him and we got into the finances.

We need a lot of money for all this to happen, this is an industrial level work and we are just a team of 4. I need to wait till we sell our crops and start on new things.

"Anshu! You are still here, I thought you went to the reception of your friends." My dad asked me with a shocked look on his face, looking at me swamped with books all around as I was trying a way to cut down our costs.

I looked at my watch, which shows that the time is 2:30, I quickly got ready putting on a blue checkered shirt and black slacks  and drove to the venue like a maniac with so many thoughts racing in my head.

The venue was completely decorated with lights, with posters of Nidhi and Samrat outside,  welcome girls handing flowers to everyone, valet came by and took the car off my hands. There were at lease 2000 people in here.

I walked into the hall, smiling at people who I never met in my life. Samrat and Nidhi are on the stage looking perfect and well groomed, with Manjula and Kajal standing by them laughing with each other.

My Janu was the only person missing there, she would've made place look 1000 times brighter with her smile. She has that aura of making people attracted to her, with her kindness and pure heart.

"Thank god! You made it. I was stuck with that snob Karan, who was blabbering about his new fancy job as a manager in Global Tech. How his company was contributing so much for the development of the state, like it's his company. I wish I could just kill him with my bare hands."Aarthav said from the back while I quickly pushed away the lone tear.

"He is Jerk, ignore him and let's go meet everyone else. Is charan here?" I asked him as we passed by so many unknown people and found our way to all our classmates in the back.

Reunions are awful and awesome at the same time, the last 2 and half years changed these people a lot. So many of them got married and some turned around their lives and achieved while others are stuck in the same old boring lives.

We sat there and talked reminiscing all over stories, eating with each other like the good old days where we didn't have to worry about finances, living life or raising a family.

Our education system is not designed to teach us about money, how to file your taxes, how to make a life on your own instead being thrown into a corporate cycle of 9 to 5 jobs.

All of sudden everyone started look on the screen showing Nidhi and Samrat, but it was Samrat standing there looking around in confusion, Nidhi, Kajal and Manjula were running around squealing and screaming.

I saw Nidhi's dad walk through us with a smile on his face laughing at his daughters actions.

"What happened Uncle?" Charan asked him.

"Oh That! Nidhi's friend Janu came by and they all are mad at her, so they are chasing her out of the hall." He said laughing off.

His words made me stiff and I felt the world pause, the spoon in my hands fell on the plate and my feet automatically followed the path of sounds leaving everything there.

I have to see her.

With thought in my mind I ran, I ran all over the venue looking for her like a lunatic, and suddenly my heart stopped for a micro second looking at the person who's 6 feet away from me.

This is real.

Janu is alive, I didn't kill her. The love of my life is alive. The words Aarthav said were relieving but this very own feeling of seeing her with my own eyes is completely different.

It felt like I was given a jacket that warmed me after freezing for hours.

She is not the little girl I met on my first day, she grew up. In fact she looks prettier, ethereal and better than ever in her green jumpsuit, which was covering every inch of her body, her shiny black hair now has a tint of caramel in between flowing, it wasn't long anymore. Her hair barely reached her shoulders. And her glassy brown eyes which showed pure happiness looking at her friends, those dark eye lashes covering up the tears forming in her eyes.

I stood still staring at her, sinking in the moment devouring each and every second. The more I look at her the more I find my peace.

She appears exactly the same but if you look closer you would know that she is not, she was just smiling with her mouth, it didn't reach her eyes.

The childlike innocence which she had in the past was no more, all I can see now is well sophisticated and completely put-together woman talking animatedly to the people before her mimicking the expressions of people around her.

I took a few steps forward to pull into my arms, apologize to her and comfort myself.

"You guys go ahead, I'll get Dhruv." Janu said to them in a calm and composed voice, which sounded like heaven flowing down to earth, like a melody which is the cure to the pain I have been feeling for years.

"I promise I won't run away this time." She said again laughing Manjula glares.

Trust me! She is the only one person who has the audacity to do that to Manjula.

I followed her quietly as she walked away from her friends, because if they see me near her. They won't hesitate to kick me out.

As I sneaked behind her, she reached the parking lot and  I looked around wanting to talk to her and get her back into my life without anyone disturbing us.

Before I could open my mouth and call her name out loud, the name which I've been wanting to say from the last few years, a man came out of her car and hugged her real tight and she hugged him back.

She was crying in his arms and he was consoling her.

Why was she crying?

Those are the tears I never wished to see in my life, yet I became the reason for them one way.

Do you ever have the emotion where you don't feel anything, you are not happy or sad or angry. You just feel empty, where you feel like you are just nothing.

That's how I feel right now and I hate it, I hate every ounce of that feeling passing through me.

I wanted her to hug me, punish me and even kill me for hurting her, so I walked forwards and heard something that I never imagined would happen to me.

"I thought I didn't deserve happiness, I believed that I didn't, and then I met you. You changed everything for me, you literally saved me from death, you gave me family, love, a new chance at life and now I got to meet my friends. I don't know how to say this but Thank you for being in my class, Thank you for not leaving me alone like every one in the world did. I love you so much Dhruv." Janu said to the man and I felt like every inch of body was crushing under a truck.

"I love you too Moonshine. And stop being so emotionally dramatic, it doesn't suit you, let's go and eat that food and enjoy the party.." He said to her in his foreign accent.

Moonshine, she is my freaking sun and the solar system and I let her go, I did this to myself.

"Ooh..I smell biryani and butter chicken, let's go." Said the foreign accent guy with hop in his step like a child.

"There is no biryani in there. It's coming from the restaurant on the other side." She said with an adoring look on her face.

"That sucks, I wanted to show off to Amy and everyone back home by eating everything." He pouted at her.

They both held their hands together and walked away from me, and that was only time she was smiling from her heart with a twinkle in her eyes, leaving me like I did to her previously.

Trust me, I would never want to hurt her on purpose. But, she made me feel unloved with all the lies and I felt betrayed and used by the person who meant the whole world to me, so situations went out of control, when I realized what I did, I couldn't find her anymore.

When she is finally back in my life, She moved on, while I was living with the guilt that I killed her.

Life is one fickle little thing, few minutes ago I was filled with hope and happiness that I found the love of my life but now I feel this immense pain and hurt.

I think I lost her before I could even get her. I hurt her and she moved away from me and found someone else who could make her happy.

This is what hell must be like, the girl you dreamt your forever with walking away with someone else with a smile that was once mine.

Should I leave her alone and be happy with her happiness? or fight for her?

So, Did you like that chapter?

Was it too dramatic? I hope not.

Wanna make Dev suffer more with the fake relationship of Dhruv and Janu? I feel sad for him now.

Are you still interested in the story? or are you bored?

Let me know in the comments.

Don't forget to vote and comment.

Love,

Sneha