Never give up on someone, you can't go a day without thinking about.

~Unknown

Devansh

"Anshu! ANSHUUU..." My mom yelled, pulling my headphones off.

"You know that you didn't come out of this room from the last 4 hours right?" She asked as I was working on my new project ever since I came back from the farm and I nodded agreeing with her.

"I am done Mister, I don't care how much you love your work. You are not allowed to get into this place for the next two days. You are banned from this area." She passed an ultimatum while I was welding the wings of my drone.

What I am kid? For her to ground me like this.

I tried to ignore her but she grabbed the welding gun, placed it on the holder and took my new piece of art and started walking away.

"Maa, I need to get this done. Stop acting like a child and give me that." I whined at her as she walked into the house completely ignoring my disapproving grunts.

Before following her I turned off all the things and walked into my house, When I entered, I could hear my mother ranting about my closed behavior to my father who was humming in response.

Does every parent do this? Go to other one to control the ill mannered child or is it just mine?

"Can you stop complaining? I want to complete that, give me it."I went forward and snatched it away from her.

"What does this one do?" My dad asked pointing the drone in my hands, diverting the topic so my mom won't yell at me.

"This is going to scan all the crops and look for any kind of insects and bugs on them, later it will report what kind of natural pesticides you need to get rid of them to the owner." I said holding my drone proudly.

This is what I was doing from the moment I stepped out of college, during my last semester. With the money Dean gave I gave him Bhumi, my first creation.

What Bhumi does is, if you give her the soil sample, it will test the strength of it and with weather forecast of the next 3 months it will suggest what kind of crop would be beneficial for you.

I even got an award because of her and almost every farmer in our village and the surrounding villages use Bhumi.

"I did perform real time tests on all our crops last week. Just trying to get it fly for longer, the life span of this is just 15 min now." I told him as he kept staring at me.

"Great Job Anshu! I am proud of you." He said patting on my back, looking at me with blown up chest.

I go to work with my father during day, which is basically the prep work for my night job. Looking at real time problems gives me ideas, how to solve them.

"I need you take Sarita Aunty and her daughter to the hospital in the city. I have a meeting with the Sarpanch tomorrow and I won't be able to do it."He said smoothly but from the look of it, that was an order.

"Its been a year since you got out of this place. Go and meet Aarthav, have some fun." He continued.

The word fun was blown out of my dictionary, how can you have fun when you beating the weight of a soul inside you.

I looked at my mother, who's eager to know my answer. I couldn't disappoint her anymore that I did. So, I agreed to the task and left back into the garage, which is filled with things and a small cot in the corner for me to lay down.

Sleep is the last thing I get ever since I pushed her out of my life. Life is never too easy, it's not fair and it won't be.

My own house reminds me of her, her first confession was in our guest room. I got to that room once a day to relive those memories.

Memories are my best friends so far, without them I probably won't be able to live, and no one can ever take them away from me. I may have lost her as a person but she will remain in my heart forever.

The way she calls me Bubby, Dev or Devu constantly rings in my ears. I sit in this room with a smile on my face reminiscing all the memories, I spent with her. That's the only way I can calm the pain bubbling inside me.

I was a coward, I didn't fight for my love. I didn't..If i did my life would've been so different. She would've been here with my family in this room. My dad would be pampering the life out of her, she would've easily replaced my position in my family.

God's alarm clock, chickens starting making noise reminding me that's it's morning already, I got up from the cot and went into the barn and released them all into the garden, My little Duckie Janu jumped on to me as soon as opened her door, making me smile.

I fed the buffalos and cows, helped clean the barn after my mom milked them. I took a shower, ate breakfast and started the car towards Sarita Aunty's house.

Her daughter Kavya, suffers from a rare face deformity, which would cost lakhs but with the new Global and our Governments initiative she is getting it for minimal costs. They announced the project 5 months back and the hospital got ready in 2 months and filled with all kinds of doctors ready help the world for free.

It was really easy to signup, all we had to do was provide their financial status forms and why she qualifies for this program, she got this slot in weeks.

She sounded really happy the last time I saw her, it's hard for her as a teenager with all the constant bullying because of her appearance. I am really happy for her. I hope the surgery goes well.

"Thank you Anshu Bhai, I thought the tiger was gonna come and I had keep quite all the way to the hospital." Kavya said jumping to the car with happiness.

She calls my dad Tiger, because of his stoic appearance, she is so bubbly and funny.

I took the bags from Aunty and loaded them in the car waving bye to everyone in house, Kavya's dad couldn't make it as he lives in Dubai working as a driver.

After a few fours Aunty dozed off and Kavya was listening to music humming, blooming with happiness.

"Do you want to listen too?" She asked me, and I shrugged at her.

She connected her phone to the car and played the song which just made my heart clench in pain.

For you, I would cross the line
I would waste my time
I would lose my mind

They say she's gone too far this time

Don't blame me, love made me crazy
If it doesn't, you ain't doin' it right
Lord, save me, my drug is my baby
I'd be usin' for the rest of my life

"Why are you crying bhaiyya?" Kavya asked me as I felt wetness touch my cheek.

She sang the same song, when I was hurt after the cricket match. That was our first fight, she made me promise to never stop talking to her. And I broke it, I pushed her away.

"It just reminded me of someone." I told her brushing the lonely tear away.

"Does she make you sad?"

"She makes me the happiest man in the world." I replied with a smile glued to my face.

Janu was obsessed with Taylor swift, what kind of music would she be listening now?

"Is she the one in your wallet? She looks pretty." Kavya grinned at me listening to the song.

I have her picture in my wallet, I stole it from the college register in our 3rd semester.

But now I lost someone who truly loved me. Feels like I broke the best thing I had in my life, and I said too much to take it back. Will I ever have her back again? Is she even in this world anymore?

If only I could go back and change the past, and faced the truth with a little bit more maturity would I still be like this?

With all these thoughts, we reached the hospital with looked like the finest hospitals in the world. We checked Kavya in and met all the doctors who explained us the process, the chief surgeon of this hospital Shaurya Krishna came to us and assured that it was gonna be a smooth process.

Mr.Dhanraj is the best leader our state could ever get, even with all the pain the world gave him he still fights for them. It takes so much help the ones who keep hurting you, I am not a saint like him in that case, she hurt me once and I killed her.

My phone rang in this quiet hospital making me jump out of my thoughts.

"What the heck man! You are here and you didn't even tell me. I am coming to the hospital in 5 min."Aarthav yelled at me.

It's been more than a year since I saw anyone from the college, I was the reason Manju broke with him and yet he still stood by my side, he never said a word.

I didn't deserve people like him, so I kept my distance because I didn't want to add anymore pain to his life.

He messaged me that he reached, I told Aunty and reached Aarthav who's waiting by his car leaning on to the hood talking on his phone, dressed up in his formals.

He started his own construction and real estate business.

"I got this new project, but the budgets are real low man. This is getting hard but I want to prove that I can be my own person." He said rubbing his head in frustration.

"It's okay! Things will get better." I tried to cheer him up.

"You say that with your new and awesome devices helping people and 5 patented devices so far. I screwed up big time last week, Manjula's dad made her quit her job and started searching guys for her, so I told him that I want to marry her and I didn't even ask her opinion. " He said with panic all over his face.

I can imagine his panic, Manjula will kill him if she knows that.

"She started talking to me normally these days and I just ruined it." Frustration, fear and agony was all over his face.

"Relax Aarthav, she will understand. Don't worry. Explain the situation to her before she hears it from her father. She is an understanding person." I told him, being a friend that I never was in the last few months.

"I wish I was reasonable in the past, This would never happen, I wish we never hurt her you know. " He said in a sad tone with glassy eyes referring to Jagati welcoming the numbing silence onto the loudest roads.

How many people are going to suffer because of my actions?

"I ruined everything...This is all my fault. I ended your happiness. I am so sorry Aarthav.. I am sorry." I apologized to him truthfully.

"It's okay Devansh, it's okay.." He tried to cheer me up but I knew what I did and no amount of consoling would get rid of the guilt I am carrying on me.

"I'd give anything to see her once, to know that she is alive. The thought she might be no more is killing me..... She begged me to stay back and listen to her and I didn't.... How was I so cruel?" I let my heart out after years.

"It's been 2 years since she left our lives Devansh, may it's time you forgot about her and move on with your life. She was just one woman, I know we wronged her but look at yourself, you are killing your self on the inside with this. " He said to me, but no cell in my body was ready to do that.

"I died the day I failed to understand her, and moving on means letting her go, I can't do that. If I accept that she is gone, all her memories will fade away and I will not have a reason to live anymore. Her memories are my oxygen, so don't ask me to move on." I told him holding my wallet hard comforting myself that I will never ever forget about her and I will never love someone as I love her.

"Do you want to go look for her? We have resources now." He said giving me hope, the hope I lost when I couldn't find her and no one related to her was willing to help me.

"Can we do that?" I asked him with excitement for the first time ever since she left.

Humans are flawed, they make mistakes. Maybe her family did too in hiding her, I just have to find out their mistake and look for her.

At the end of this search I might find something I don't like or want to, but I can't give up anymore. I can't sit quite and bear this pain.

I never chose to fall in love with her, but love is a path full of hurt and pain and the same love has power to walk through that pain.

It seems like a long way to go, but I just have this gut feeling that she is alive and breathing and I will do anything to get back with her.

Wait for me Janu! Your Dev is coming for you.

Small chapter, but i didn't want to exaggerate and make it sad and boring.

I know I said that I will be late, with all the other tasks at hand but I just couldn't resist myself from writing.

I am addicted to this.

Anyway, I hope everyone is doing great and staying safe.

Don't forget to vote and comment.

Love,
Sneha