"I lie to myself all the time. But I never believe me."
~S.E. Hinton,

Jagruthi

"Kar, Everyone is participating in some or the other thing. Let me do it too, pleaseeeee." I begged him like I've been doing for the last 5 minutes.

My roommates Manju and Kajal are participating in a treasure hunt, Sahastra is doing a dance solo and a group dance with her friends for this years fresher's party. And my stupid cousin wants me just sit in a hostel room while the whole college is having fun.

Being the student body president, shouldn't he be encouraging us to participate in stuff. He is being a class A jerk and I hate it.

"No, Janu! Trust me, I know you better. You don't do well with crowds. Tell me what do you want to participate and we will do it together?" He said giving me a clipboard with all the events written on it, pausing his work making my eyes roll at his words.

"I don't want to do it with you, I want to do it with my friends. People already treat me different because of you and you are just making it more hard for me Karthik." I stomped my foot in frustration.

My first lesson, I learnt in the outside world is People are prejudiced, they formed an opinion on me and Karthik ignoring my explanation.

After that ragging incident, all the seniors started calling me Karthik's girl. Some people talked to me and some hated me without any reason. I explained to people that we are cousins but that didn't stop them, I learnt my lesson and started ignoring them. No one dares to do the same to Karthik, they are just cowards preying on the weak like me.

Anyway, let's not think about that. Maybe I should go behind his back and participate in one. What he doesn't know won't hurt him right?

"As long as you are here, you are my responsibility and I can't risk losing you again. Uncle J trusted me with your life, I am the reason you don't have guards here. So, don't you dare do it without telling me, I will have all the event rosters with me and I will know." He said looking at his computer screen making me gape in shock, inconsiderate jerk!

How the fudge did he know that I was gonna do it?

"I know how your brain works, I've been with you all my life." He said and I punched making him yelp in pain. We started hitting each other like two kids slapping each other with our hands.

Karthik and me, we went to the same school until my father became a CM. After I went back to home confinement every weekend, every holiday he would come back to visit me. He always says that I am his little sister and he would spend time with me rather than anyone in his life. With my busy parents, he was there and never made me feel alone, that's why I love him, my cute little monster of a cousin.

"Karthik, I need help with this restaurant's set up. They are backing out at the last minute." A worried senior girl of mine came in asking him and stopped our fight giving with her weird looks.

"Now! It's in 2 days, give me their number, I will talk to them and take care of it." He asked her and let out a frustrated sigh.

She jotted down the number, gave it to him and left the room.

"Looks like I have work to do, Janu. Do you want me to drop you off at the hostel?" Karthik asked getting up from his chair.

"No thanks, I can walk." I said and shoved him back in that chair, picked up my backpack and walked away feeling angry that he is not accepting my requests.

"Is the precious mad at her favorite cousin?" He came behind me as I walking out of the Student body planning room.

Precious is what my dad calls me, Karthik is using it to butter me up and I am not falling into his trap.

"No, I just hate you. And FYI you are not my favorite cousin anymore, Mozzie is." I shrugged at him.

Mozzie is my Aunt's only dog, who is like a son to my aunt. He pulled me into a hug before I could walk away and kissed me on the head.

"I am sorry Janu, but you have to understand me. How about I take you out on Sunday, treat you to biryani and a warm brownie with ice cream on top?" He asked me and my mouth just watered imagining that.

Ooh! Yum. I want that now.

Damn you! My stupid stomach and tongue.

"Okay, but you are paying." I told him and he said yes.

We bid each other bye and he walked away to complete his work.

I don't regret my decision, food is always worth it. I kept walking back from college to hostel. It's a good 7 minute walk, with all the greenery, people walking around talking to their friends, cozy benches and couples in love.

They make me wish I had a boy in my life, having a boyfriend is just a dream, a pretty vague dream. May be I should join Karthik's love-is-a-waste-of-time club too, my papa would be proud if I did that.

"Arundathi!" I heard someone yell.

"Arundathi"

"Arundathi." The same voice called out again.

The girls before me didn't respond to that name, so I turned around to look who this Arundathi is. I couldn't find anyone behind me except for the hot bawler Devansh, He is looking at me and signaled me to wait.

Did he just call me Arundathi?

That's when it clicked, my fake introduction to the seniors a month back. I said my name is Arundathi. He was calling me So, I stopped walking and waited for him to reach me, as he started running.

Do people really look that good while running?  His shiny hair jumping from side to side and he is running with a smile on his face, who does that?

I would probably look like a dog who's getting chased, trying to catch my breath.

I stood there with a question mark face wondering what he wants from the good ol' me unknown me.

"I'm sorry! I don't know your real name and I do need a small favor from you. If you don't mind can you help me?" He question me after he reached me raking his shiny hair with his slender fingers.

I couldn't speak as he kept looking at me, like a fool I just nodded at what he said.

He is wearing a dark blue sweater with a blue shirt tucked inside, beige chinos and white Nike sneakers, add pair of thick rimmed glasses he would like a perfectly handsome geek.

But I don't the glasses to cover his beautiful eyes. His face is all red, I don't know if it's the heat or the embarrassment.

Creep alert!!!

Stop looking into his face like a psychotic rag doll. You are weirding him out.

I should just kill my conscience for giving me these alerts, checking out people is not creepy.

"Sure! What do you want?" I said looking everywhere but his face but I couldn't stop myself from looking at him.

He licked his lips, cleared his throat and brushed his hair with his fingers again as it kept falling on his face.

How tall is he?

I looked at my shoulder which reached his torso. I am 5.5 so he should be somewhere on the 6 scale.

Get his shirt and pants size too, creep!!

I am definitely killing that stupid voice in my head.

"I made it into the cricket team and to play the first game I need to g..get something ve..very personal from a girl. It should be something only g..girls us...use and wear. Could do give me a personal thing of yours?" He asked stuttering his words, feeling very shy.

I like this awkward look on his face. Just to make it more awkward and fun I said

"Huh?"

Poor guy! He is devastated. The look on his face is memorable, just the thought of repeating the same question again freaked him out, an evil smile played on my lips and I hid it with a smirk.

"I understand if you don't want to. You don't even know me. It's fine I could play from the next game. You are the only girl I know and when I found you I thought you could help me. Never mind that I asked, Sorry for disturbing you." He said with a sad face and turned around and started walking away.

Great job, you scared that cute little innocent geek.

I don't want him to leave me.

"Devansh!" I called him out and he stopped in his tracks and turned around with a hopeful look in his eyes.

Devansh, it feels good to say his name out loud.

"Wait! I can give it to you. I don't mind.." I said to him and he gave me his killer smile that could swoon any girl over.

What's a personal thing only a girl uses and wears? And then it clicked, so I started scrambling through my backpack.

"Here you go!  A tampon, it's a very personal and useful thing. Only girls use and wear it. It will be helpful for you guys too, in case anyone gets a nose bleed from playing or the sun. It holds blood really well, trust me. Is one enough or do you want more?" I said pulling out a bunch of tampons from my bag.

Being a girl you always need to keep these essentials handy, because you never know when the almighty blesses you.

He looked at me like I grew horns with his eyes ready to pop out and I just realized what I really did blabber.

It really holds blood well.

Fish your clumsy mouth Janu, think before you talk!

Now you went from a creep level 1 to level 10.

He shyly forwarded his handed and I dropped the tampon in his hand feeling embarrassed at my words earlier.

"Thank you and one is enough!" He said with a smile playing on his glossy lips.

"You didn't give me your name." He said as I zipping up my backpack.

"Because you didn't ask for it. It's Jaga...Jagruthi."

What the heck was I thinking? I was about to give him my real name, I should really put a filter on mouth around him.

"Thank you Jagruthi. I guess I will see you soon." He said and ran away while I stood there watching him run all the way till he disappeared.

If there is a race to measure how you good you look when you run, Devansh would definitely win without a doubt, I just love watching him.

Creep Alert!!

Oh shut up, I said to myself and walked back to my room replaying my conversation with him, so I can do better next time instead of flunking out like I did.

I saw Manju and Sahastra in their own beds, Manju in her book and Sahastra on her phone. Kajal went home for 2 days because of some emergency.

One month with these people and I think I know them a bit better.

Sahastra is a nice person, she wants to be popular, and expects every one to please her. She craves attention. She is pretty, trust me she gets a lot of attention from all the boys in our college. She is friends with so many people unlike me. I categorize her under social butterfly.

On the other hand Manju is a passionate woman, hates attention, loves environment, helping people. If you ask her something she would go an extra mile to do it for you. She is a warm person but every one is scared of her because she has an angry face, whatever mood she is in, it will always looks like she is mad and she comes under the category of a caterpillar who hides in plain sight.

"Hi" I sang and placed my backpack in my wardrobe.

"Are you joining the treasure hunt with me?" Manju asked me closing her book and I gave her my sad face.

"We could do it next time. What took you so long anyway?" She asked and sat beside her.

She was reading Little woman, that's an amazing book, I cried reading that book.

"Karthik wouldn't budge and Devansh needed something, apparently the cricket team is hazing him to do stupid things." I said shrugging lying on her bed,  Sahastra joined us at the name of Devansh.

"You spoke to DEVANSH..., he is so hot, dreamy and handsome. Why do all the hot guys like Karthik and Devansh talk to you?" She said the you with a cringe.

I looked at Manju to know if she heard the same cringe too.

"May be they find her obliging unlike someone." Manju had my back while sat numb like a spineless person.

I don't like fighting with my friends, when they are the first people I could ever be friends with.

I get that her family's loaded and pampered her, so did everyone else's parents. She can't expect the whole world at her feet.

And the other thing is Sahastra cries the minute things don't go her way. Coming to this college is the only thing that went my away in this life, I wonder how it feels to get everything I want.

"Like they would talk to you! Look at her Jagruthi, she is being mean to me." Sahastra said and looping her hand in mine.

I held Manju's hand to not say anything back.

"Let's go! I wanna show you my dance and the group dance." Saying that she dragged me away from my room. I wanted to sit there and talk to Manju, thank her for having my back.

After endless hours of looking at her dance for the next 2 days, today is finally the day she will perform on the stage, so no more watching her dance.

Sahastra left to do her dance, Manju and Kajal already left for the treasure hunt. So, I am in my room chilling with Netflix watching How to get away with a murder and a jar of Nutella.

Maybe I should be a lawyer like Annalise Keating, she is such a powerful woman. I could rock a lawyers coat right?

Just when I was about shove another spoonful of Nutella in my mouth, Sahastra called me to get a pen drive which has the song she has to perform in 15 minutes. I groaned in frustration that I have to change out of my comfy pajamas.

I hopped down from the top bunk, grabbed a pair of joggers from the cupboard and put them on my pajama shorts and ran to the event area.

Wow! They decorated the whole school, good job Kar. As I neared the grounds I could hear loud thumping sounds booming from the speakers, the crowd cheering.

Is this what a party means?

I could see Sahastra in her costume waving her hand looking at me, I walked to her and peaked onto the stage, there is a girl dancing to the song Uptown Funk by Bruno Mars.

"You are my savior!" She hugged me, took the pen drive and ran away.

Should I stay and watch?

I took a step forward, but my heart started beating erratically at all the sounds and my hands started to sweat, Maybe Karthik is right, I can't take crowds.

I turned around immediately and started walking fast, to slow down my heart. Relax Janu, I kept repeating to myself..

Thump

Ouch! My head hurts and everything around me started moving, I could feel all the blood rush away from my face and my legs felt wobbly like they are giving up on me.

"Jagruthi, Are you ok?" I heard a soothing voice and someone held me before I could fall down.

I clutched his hand as he took me the bench nearby. I took long deep breaths and thought about my papa and mama which slowed down my heart and my breathing.

The person beside me smells like a lemon bar which is soothing my brain and body as he kept rubbing my back. I turned around to know who it is and it's Devansh!

He is looking at me with so much concern, which is making me warm on the inside with happiness.

"Thank you." I whispered looking into his beautiful alluring face.

He raised his fingers up to my face and paused near my lips and he rubbed something off from the corner of my lips and cheek. After he took his hand off, I licked that corner and I tasted Nutella.

Just kill me now! I am an embarrassment to the pretty and sophisticated woman kind.

I have Nutella on my face and my shirt.

"You look great!" He said analyzing my outfit making me cover all the Nutella marks with my hands.

"You are so mean! Making fun of a poor girl, I wasn't supposed to come out today." I defended myself and he chuckled at my reply.

"No, I was not sarcastic. I am glad that you are not dressed up like everyone else." He said in his gravelly calm voice. His voice is so smooth and deep making me weak.

I smiled at him and looked around where I was, I could see people walking by us staring at the closeness between me and Devansh.

You are not supposed to talk to boys Janu, Karthik will kill him if he knows and we  definitely don't want Devansh dead.

"Thank you for everything Devansh, I have to leave." I said and got up from the bench quickly at the thought of someone seeing informing Karthik about it.

His eyes were sad for a moment and then he covered it up with neutral face.

Is he sad because I am leaving?  May be in just imagining things that has been happening a lot lately.

"Take care and eat something. I hope to see again soon." He said and I smiled at him.

He looks so cute, I just wanted to pull his cheeks. He stood there and watched me go back into the hostel, such a gentleman.I jumped up and down after I was out of his sight, not able to contain all the feeling my body is having for the first time in my life.

Karthik and papa said no boys and I found a loophole in his words being the awesome Netflix inspired Lawyer that I am.

So, I Jagati Jagadeesh Dhanraj hereby declare Devansh as my first official non celebrity crush.

So, How was the chapter?

Do you like Karthik and Janu's relationship?

I personally don't prefer cousin relationships, it feels kinda gross to me. Hey! but that's just the weird me.

Do you ship Jagruthi and Devansh?

Is the story interesting so far?

What do you think? Should I continue the story or stop? Do let me know in the comments.

Don't forget to Vote and Comment.

Love,
Sneha