We lie loudest when we lie to ourselves.

~Eric Hoffer

Jagruthi

"Rey! Is everything ready?" I asked Rey who's setting up this big birthday surprise for Dev.

I can't believe it's Devansh's birthday already, I couldn't wish him in person at 12 because I stay in a hostel and he stays in an apartment by the college. So, we are meeting at the near by temple of Lord Ram at 7 in the morning on his birthday.

I did get all my friends a permission from the warden to go out for lunch today, with the help of my mother.

"Okay, Devansh is here! I will bring him by in an hour." I said and cut the call waving at Devansh.

He is looking like an Abercrombie model in a white tee and black pants with a jean jacket on top. He was taking his white Adidas Yeezys off, which I got him for him as a pre birthday gift, looking at me with a smile on his face.

He looks drool worthy and yummy...

He is mine to drool and stop casting an evil eye on him, it's his birthday and my stupid friends already hogged him for lunch and they have to get to a party tonight with the cricket club which leaves me 5 hours of alone time with him.

"Happy birthday bubby!" I said holding his hand reminding myself that I am in a temple full of people.

Can we not hug our boyfriend in a temple? It's his birthday and I want to.

I don't know, I could hug him anywhere but we are already getting judgmental stares at us by all these aunties.

"Thank you my Jaan!" He replied wrapping his arm around my shoulder pulling me closer to him and planting a kiss on the side of my head.

Suck it, all the ladies in the temple, this biryani of a man is mine.

"Let's go in." He said and held my hand in his, and I felt safe, happy with his assuring hold on me and my mind totally forgot that I was walking into a closed and flustered room full of people.

As walked through the queue and reached all the way to the god, while we stood there for a few minutes. I folded my hands and prayed for the well being of my family and to give my Dev whatever he wants in life.

After contently requesting god, we walked out and an early 40's lady walked to us with plate with Prasad, and the aromatic smell of the food made me stop as I didn't eat anything from the last 2 hours.

"Here! Take this." The lady said with a warm smile and placed a small disposable bowl of food in my hand.

"Thank you Mam." Devansh replied while I was figuring out what this food is called.

"You guys remind me of me and my boyfriend, who's my husband now. I hope you love each other like Ram and Sita." She said with a smile on her face to Dev.

"We are not Ram and Sita, He is my Shiva and I am his Parvathi. No love for kingdom and it's people is gonna break us apart. He is gonna be with me for all lives, like lord Shiva." I told her my opinion while they both gaped at me in shock at my words.

"Sorry honey, he is yours forever." She laughed, patted my head and walked away with a smile on her face.

"So, my cute little Kali. Are you gonna give me some of that?" Dev asked me pointing at the Prasad in my hands.

"Just because it's your birthday." I huffed at him and shared the bowl with him.

"Feed me, I am a little baby and I can't eat." He whined with a cute little pout on his face, making me wanna kiss the life out of him.

I took the handful of rice onto my fingers, concentrating on the food instead of the horny thoughts occupying my mind. I carefully held the food, all the way up to his lips while he bent down and opened his mouth. This is first time in my life, I fed someone with my own hands.

Why does this feel so good? the warmth from his hold and the way he looks at me, it makes me feel like I am the only person in the whole world for him.

"Enough with the romance guys, you are outside." The lady who gave us the Prasad shook me, breaking the loving eye contact we had going on making me and him blush.

Devansh looks so red, like some one applied a tint of cherry red on his cheeks and that's because of me.

"Let's go, We have an hour drive from here and the driver is waiting for us outside."I said to him and we walked out together and to put our footwear on.

"Mam, Shyam sir sent this breakfast for you guys. You guys have it while I drive us to the destination." The driver said and turned on the ignition.

I told my mom and Shyam bhaiyya to help me with his birthday surprise, but they took it on themselves and planned the whole day for us.

Guess what the breakfast is? A freaking Nutella Sandwich with the crust off just I like how I used to eat it when I was kid.

"I love Poha..This is the best birthday ever." Devansh exclaimed looking at his breakfast with happiness, which made me more happy than when I found the Nutella sandwich for me.

He is this excited for poha, Maybe what my mama said is true, it's the small, ignorable things that matter the most. I should thank her for doing this.

We happily ate the food and he pulled me into his arms, I fit comfortably in his arms, like god made him especially for me. I could stay here forever

"What is he doing here?" Devansh asked me looking at Reyansh who was waving at us instead of the board which said Aviation Academy of India

"Janu, everything is ready. But we can't go in, just him." Rey said to us and I got out of the car.

"What's happening here? Where can't we go and where are we?" Dev asked me with a puzzled look on his face.

I walked closer to him, took his hand in mine and said

"Remember, you once told me you wanted to fly a plane, this is your chance to do so or at least for 4 hours."

"Are you Kidding me? I get to fly a plane now? Oh my god, tell me this is not a dream, this is turning out to be the perfect birthday ever." He yelled in excitement holding me by my shoulders.

I just nodded my head in tears looking at his happy face, that happy face is what drives me these days.

"This is a dream come true for me Janu, I love you so much for making this happen." Dev said

"That's my responsibility as your girlfriend to be your cheerleader and a genie. I will make your every single wish come true Dev ." I said to him

"No amount of thank you's are enough for what I am feeling right now. I wanna scream to the world the I got the world's best girl with me." He said and crashed me into his arms and hugged me tight.

"Janu, they are waiting. Devansh you should go in." Rey told me breaking us apart.

"Be careful, don't do stupid things and kill yourself, just remember that there is no Jagati without Devansh. Now go and fly that plane and meet us the restaurant, go before I stop you and keep you to myself." I told him setting he jacket straight which I messed up by hugging him.

He laughed at my words and kissed me on the cheek and temple of my head and started to walk away after thanking Reyansh for helping me.

"He is not going for a war, just to learn with a fully trained instructor. Don't worry." Reyansh said and came by me as we saw Dev disappear with the instructor.

"Stop making fun of me, Let's go. Did you eat breakfast?" I questioned him ignoring all the bad thoughts clouding my mind.

"You know when my Mamu(Uncle) told me about this job, I though I had to babysit a rich snob and a brat for him. Because whenever he came home, he was like my Jagati maa did this, she did that.., to be honest I was jealous that he loved you more that his own blood. But after meeting and knowing you, I realized how wrong I was. I am sorry for judging you." Reyansh said to me after we got into the car and started back.

"It's okay Reyansh and as of Shyam bhaiyya, I spent all my days with him growing up. He was the first person Papa hired after my kidnap, he got me out of that trauma, he taught me everything and he made me who I am today. I am always grateful to have him in my life." I told Reyansh truthfully.

He knows my true identity, he knows who I really am. I never got the chance to discuss my personal grief with anyone but Reyansh filled that void for me.

"When are you gonna tell him?" Rey asked me the question, I've been dreading to answer it myself.

When am I gonna tell Devansh that I am the daughter of Jagadeesh Dhanraj, who was declared dead?

How will he take this news?

Will he leave me?

Will that ruin our relationship?

I don't want that to happen, he is the best thing that happened in my life after my parents.

"I really don't know Rey, I want to tell him but at the same time, I am shit scared that I am gonna lose him. That one lie gave me so much freedom Rey, I have friends who make me happy and are with me in my hard times, can you believe I never had a friend before this college?" I questioned him while calming down my heart remembering the old days.

"You don't know how my life was before this, My parents did their best, with their socially needed jobs, but it was hard staying at home all alone with no one to talk to. I love my parents so much and I don't regret living my old life, but I like this new one better. I don't wanna lose this, I want to be selfish and lie about this one thing all my life if I have to." I shared with him the pain I never did with anyone in my life not even Karthik.

Lies help sometimes, why is the human ethics so against lying? I am lying to have a life I always dreamed of, but there is this unheard voice in my head that won't give me peace somedays.

"I won't be able to understand what you went through but I can empathize with you. You are doing great, don't mind me saying this, but I know that life is easy when we are pampered and loved, but you have to tell him and your friends someday and it's their choice whether to accept you as who you are, if they don't it's their loss.

I hope it doesn't happen but if that ever happens, just remember to be your own anchor, people always won't be there for us, you need to figure out how to take care of yourself, don't succumb to despair." He said assuring me in his own way.

I hope my relationship won't come to that, if it ever does I don't know how I will live, the thought alone sends me shivers down the spine.

"And whatever happens, you will always have me. I will follow you like a shadow." He added cheering me up and I gave him a thankful smile.

"Thank you so much Rey, I am glad to have you in my life. Don't forget to join us for lunch at Thai the Knot." I told as soon we reached the hostel.

"Did Kajal pick the restaurant? Sounds like her doing.." He smiled leaving.

We all got ready and reached the restaurant, with all these 3 couples and Reyansh.

Talking to Reyansh gave me so comfort, but at the same time it gave me a thought I should tell to all these people. I will start small and I would love to tell Manju first, and take it from there.

"What are looking at? He said he will be here in 10 min, don't worry." Nidhi nudged me as we were seated at the restaurant.

I've been calling him and he said he would reach 10 min back and he loved flying, but he is not here yet.

Did anything happen to him?

Don't worry, Everything is great, I can sense it.

Pfft..Like you have a seventh sense, you can't even sense the smell of food without me.

"She has been dying for you, Thank god you reached dude or else she would've starved all of us." Aarthav said to Devansh who just reached our table.

See I told you he is fine.

"Oh shut up Aarthav! It's not like I stopped you from eating. Sammy I told you to drug him to sleep on the way. You wouldn't listen, now look." I threw my hands in the air.

"That's not my package, Ask that one over there?" Sammy shrugged at my question pointing to Manju.

"Manjula will kill him, if Samrat does that. Won't you?" Randhir bhaiyya asked Manju

Devansh walked and sat beside me, so now it was Aarthav, Manju, Me, Devansh on one side and Randhir bhaiyya, Kajal, Nidhi, Sammy on the other side leaving Rey in the middle like the oldest person of the family.

I completely ignored Dev, like he did the last 10 min.

"No way, I love her more than I love him. I would definitely drug him  " Manju replied hugging me from the side.

"You love me? YOU LOVE ME." Aarthav asked her back in shock, while Manju realized what she just said and turned red.

My Manju is blushing, and she finally admitted that she loves Aarthav.

I am so happy for her, it took her really long time to confess and she finally did, I felt a hand on my thigh while I was busy looking at Manju and Aarthav.

"I love you too." Dev whispered in my ear leaning on my neck, leaving goosebumps all over my body and making me shiver at the proximity.

"What are you doing?" I asked him moving his hand away but he didn't budge.

"I am sorry that I got you worried, I was stuck in the traffic and I was talking to my mom, so I couldn't pick up your call." Devansh told me and I immediately regretted being mad at him.

I judged him quickly, his parents are really Important and like me aunty would be dying to his attention, I can understand that.

"It's okay, but stop talking over my neck. It just makes me shiver and gives me goosebumps."I told him trying to move away from him and turn towards my plate.

"Hmm..I like it like this, the way you react when it happens and the effect I have..."

"I get it you guys are all in love, and I am the 9th wheel here. Can we please eat I am hungry?" Rey bought me out of the daze called Devansh.

We ordered lots of food and ate most of them, went to the mall and played laser tag for 2 hours. It was a lot of fun, a lot but then the cricket team and his other friends came in and hogged him, leaving me with my friends back at the hostel.

After coming back, we started preparing for the exams on Monday on a subject we all have in common.

"We are happy for you Janu."Nidhi said to me while the other two went to small cafe downstairs for some caffeine.

"Thank you Nidhi, And I am really sorry for hiding it from you." I told her putting my book away feeling grateful to have such amazing friends.

"Janu, You can tell us anything and we would never judge you." She said to me truthfully and at that exact moment I decided to tell the truth about my father and mother.

"I have to tell you something and you have to promise me to not tell a soul about it?" I asked her seriously with jitters going on in my body that I am really doing this.

"I'll cross my heart and seal your wor....."

Triiiingggg Triiiingggg

My phone blared through the room making me jump from my position and look for it, and it was Devansh. What is he doing calling me instead of enjoying the party?

"Oooh, It's the lover boy..go ahead take his call. We can talk later." She said gushing like a little girl.

"I am waiting by the gate, come meet me." He said as soon as I picked up the call.

He wants to meet  me at 11 P.M, Is this Devansh? Should I be worried?

"Why? "

"What do you mean why? Come fast before the watchman comes from his coffee break." He said and I looked between Nidhi and the phone confused.

I cut the call and updated Nidhi, while she teased me endlessly till I left the room.

"Jump through it, I am taking you out." He said sternly leaving me shocked once again.

I didn't think for a second looking at his beautifully rugged face through the moon light, making him glow like a freaking sun. It made me hop through a 5 foot gate in seconds as he held me down when I jumped to the other side.

"Are you okay?"I asked him as he was holding me in his arms.

"I left the party as I wanted to spend some more time with you." He said to carefully placing me on the ground with a longing look on his face.

Ecstatic is what I kept feeling at his words, I reached his shirt collar and pulled him down and placed my lips on his stone cold ones.

We kissed passionately pouring all our love and every emotion into it, under the dark sky, as the stars and moon hid under the clouds giving us the privacy to get lost in our own universe leaving thunder and lightning in our bodies.

"Dev.." I breathed out his name, calming down my racing heart looking at the crinkles I left on his shirt.

"I can live all my life just to listen you call me that." He said with a gaze burning my soul, making me feel like a molten lava.

"Let's move before someone comes here." With that we started walking away from the hostel.

Did I just sneak out for the first time in my life?

I hope I have all my first's with him and I wish him to be last too.

The college was dead empty, and so quiet that I could hear my own heart beat. We walked towards the cafeteria and reached our spot, the place where we talked for the first time, where he asked me to be his girlfriend, this one spot holds so many memories of me and Dev.

As I was about to sit down beside him, he pulled me into his arms and made me land in his lap.

"You are always gonna sit in my lap, not beside me." He whispered to me while I adjusted myself comfortably.

Don't put all your weight on him, I want him to live and not die because some heavy weight fell on him.

You are such a jerk sometimes.

Sorry, not sorry! I love him more than I love us.

Suddenly I felt something cold on my ring finger, putting a stop to the conversation with myself. I found a beautiful topaz studded ring on my left hand.

"This is my gift for you, my grandfather's last gift for my grandmother. She wanted me to give it to my wife, so I am giving it you." He said to me and from the look on his face he was reminiscing his memories with his grandparents.

It wasn't the ring that mattered, it was the value it held, it was the words he spoke after giving it to me, it's his happiness that matters to me the most in my life.

I wrapped my arms around him, leaning my head on his shoulder and holding him tight, letting the silence and our heart do the talking, we finally achieved the stage of comfortable silence, where can sit without talking to each other, where can talk with out words.

Hmm...

So how was this chapter? Did you enjoy it?

Does this kind of love exist in real life? Did anyone in here experience it?

So, recently my sister asked me a question, and I am asking you the same.

Do you wanna live with someone you love or someone who loves you?

Who do you choose, let me know in the comments.

Anyway coming to our book, Am I dragging the story?

Let me know if you feel so, cause this girl here can kill that drag.

Don't forget to vote and comment.

Love,

Sneha