A lie may take care of the present, but it has no future ~Unkown

Jagruthi

Is this what celebrating a festival feels like?

If it is I don't like it.

Aunty woke me up at 5:30 and made me take a shower with cold water, I almost died shivering in the bathroom.

I wore my pink Balmain sweatshirt and black jeans because I don't have any more Indian dresses, the only two are soaked in mud and out for a wash.

I didn't think I would need more because we are not much into traditions at my house and I have a lot of clothes there. Kajal made us donate all the unused clothes, so didn't have many at the hostel either.

I walked downstairs with water dripping out of my hair as there was no dryer to do the job. Thank god! my sweatshirt is keeping me a bit warm.

As soon as I stepped down the smell of incense hit me and there are flower decorations which made the house look like a temple. I found Aunty, Uncle and Devansh in the small room with all the idols, praying.

Aunty signaled me join them and I went in and sat beside Devansh who's wearing a green shirt and black jeans.

He opened his eyes as soon as he felt me sit beside him and gave me a longing smile.

If smiles could kill, I would've died the first day I met him. He looks appetizing like my favorite Chicken Biryani.

Does your brain not work around him creep? How can people look appetizing? And you are in a praying room.

What is praying so hard for anyway?

Definitely not for you!

And the award of the biggest jerk of the year goes to my conscience.

After the conversation yesterday I walked away without any reply because Aunty came in to the kitchen and he left for the night to meet his friends.

Uncle signaled me to join my hands for prayer as I was gawking at Devansh making me look away from him.

After what felt like an eternity, every one started to get up. A few more minutes in that warm room I would've dozed off, I looked at the clock and it was almost 9.

Yay! time for breakfast, the food smells amazing and I am hungry as heck. I could eat a truck load of food right now.

"Can we eat now Aunty? I am really hungry." I whined holding my grumbling stomach.

"Wait a bit more Janu, We have to offer food to god first. Go change into something Indian and we will leave." She said holding my chin.

"Hmm... I don't have anything to wear all my clothes are muddy and are out for a wash." I said looking for a glass of water to kill my hunger.

"Ohh.. You can't go to a temple like this." Aunty said scanning my outfit.

Wow, that means I can eat now. Awesome!

"I have a dress of mine when I was young, I think it will fit you nicely. Let's go to my room!"

This sucks, I want food. I am gonna die of starvations and hunger at this rate.

For just one meal! Way to be Dramatic.

How are these people resisting such yummy food in front of them. Are they not hungry?

For god sake, stop whining and drink water. Just a few more hours and you can eat.

We went to Aunty's room and she gave me the dress she was talking about.

News flash! it's a Lehenga not a dress in white and pink.

"Put this on, while I get some disposable containers from the neighbor to take the food to temple." She said and walked away before I could tell her I don't know how to put this on.

No Worries, There is nothing you can't learn from google.

For the first time you are saying something useful, I huffed and went to my room and googled how to put on a Lehenga and bazillion videos popped up.

I put on the skirt first and then I started the blouse, why does this one have the hooks on the back? What am I elastic girl to stretch my hands to the back and put them on.

Blouses are like crop tops like, why can't I put it on like shirt.

Ugh.. I hate this stupid thing.

That's when someone knocked on my door, I put the sweatshirt back on and opened the door hoping for Aunty to be on the other side.

"It's you!" I sighed in disappointment looking at Devansh, my hunger is not helping me either.

"Wow, that's the words I would like to hear from you every time we see each other." He said with sarcasm dripping in his words.

"I'm sorry, I was hoping that it would be your mom. What do you want?" I apologized while he looked at my dress, I might be looking like a homeless person with a sweatshirt and skirt under it.

"I got you this" He said picking up a bowl from the table outside my room.

I could say I love you to him just for this one action.

Gluttony is sin.

Food is god, and it's not a sin.

"Is this for me? Thank you so much. Mmmm..." I snatched the bowl from his hand and started devouring the Kheer.

It feels like I'm in heaven. Yum!

"Can you call Aunty? I need some help." I asked him shoving another spoon of Kheer in my mouth.

"My mother went to a neighbors house, it will take time. Don't eat too fast, I can't get you another bowl." Dev said looking at me eating like I am a monster.

What do I do now? Devansh can help me, right?

That's the worlds worst idea and that's the food talking not you.

"Can you help me hook the blouse, I cant reach it. Lift my shirt up without looking and hook it please." I pleaded him and he stood still in shocks at my words.

Before he could answer I pulled him into the room with me and closed the door, I am sorry but he is my only option and I trust him more than anyone else in here.

I stood before him with my back facing him, he looks like a giant behind me. He kept glancing at me through the mirror where I look like a pig who didn't have food for a month. I stopped eating and focused on him as his hands moved from his pockets towards my dress.

His warm hands pulled my sweatshirt up by 2 inches.

Did his eyes grew wide or am I hallucinating?

Bad idea! Abort this mission.

I felt his fingers on my waist trailing up to my back, I shuddered at his touch. My body is on fire, I felt hot all of sudden, I wanted to remove my shirt and sit in a freezing room.

He found the two ends of the blouse and started joining them without any effort with his eyes still on me with an emotion I couldn't fathom.

I feel guilty looking at him, I know we are trying really bad to stay away from each other and I'm not exactly helping him do that. I moved away as soon as he is done and took my phone for the next step to calm down my crazily beating heart.

"What are those scars on your stomach?" He questioned me with anger and pain on his face as I was looking at the next step, pleating the pallu.

Does it hurt him looking at my scars, which I got from the kidnap.

"I had a surgery when I was in my 12th grade." I half lied smoothly looking at from my phone trying not to remember the horrible day.

"Thank you so much for the food and helping me. And about yesterday I'm sorry that we have to push each other away. It's hard for me too and I don't know how to kill my attraction or whatever this is. I promise I won't bother you after we go back to college. Just bear with me for 3 more days." I told him but it hurt when I thought about going back to college and stay away from him.

I like it here. I wish I could stay with his family and bring Mama and Papa here, Karthik too.

He walked away from me and out of the room after my reply. It took me a good 30 min to wrap this dupatta around. And I went downstairs to find Aunty and Uncle who are waiting for me downstairs.

"How do I look Aunty? I feel like a half wrapped burrito." I asked adjusting the dupatta hiding my scars.

"You look like a goddess. Here wear this necklace." She said looking at me with adoration and gave the necklace from her neck and put it on mine.

I moved towards and twirled around Uncle and asked him.

"So, how do I look Uncle?"

"You should keep this dress, you look really pretty like an Angel. " He said and pulled my cheeks while I giggled at his response.

"Where is Devansh?" I asked them looking around.

"He said that he is leaving early to meet his friends, let's go before the Pooja starts." She said and placed a plate with coconut and other things on it.

We reached the temple. It's really crowded and I took of my footwear in the car and followed Uncle and Aunty.

As we are walking in, I could feel everyone stare at us, I know that I'm new here but do people really have to stare. Too many people in the same room made me really cautious of my surrounding scaring me to death that someone will jump on me from the crowd, I wanted to run away from this place and my outfit is not helping either.

Why didn't I think this through? I shouldn't have come here.

I want my Papa and Mama to tell me that it's okay. I wanted to yell at everyone to stop staring. My palms started to sweat, each step felt heavy and my breaths and heart beats are getting erratic.

We joined the Queue along with the others, this temple has way more crowd than a music fest. I don't do well with crowds, I am agoraphobic and scopophobic . I wanted to get out of this place and walk away from this. But Aunty and Uncle put too much effort it me, I can't do that. I chanted to myself that's it's okay, tried to think about happy memories like Devansh said.

Uncle held my hand looking at my panicked face but I am already on the verge of another panic attack which no one might bring me back from.

But nothing seemed to work, I stared to feel restless and the temple bell sounds are not helping at all. I started to sweat, my heart raced, I felt weak and stabbing pain in my stomach.

I looked down and found blood, I lifted my head up and all the people started to blur away. This can't be true, I looked at my hands and there was blood all over it and my stomach started to hurt real bad. No...Noo..

I looked up from my lap and found my Mama unconscious in her chair, with blood dripped from her forehead.

I don't know how long I have been here, I have to get away from this place. What's taking my Papa so long to find us? I have to do something. I tried to wiggle out of my chair with each movement my stomach started to hurt more.

That's when I heard small footsteps and I looked in that direction. It was boy around 9 years with a tea holder in his hand.

He looked scared looking at me and Mama tied and bleeding.

"Hi! What's your name?" I asked him with a pained smile on my face.

He walked near me

"Chaitu!"  He said looking at my Mama.

"My name is Janu, can you do me a small favor? After you go out can you call the number 9999888776 and tell them that Janu and Mama are in this place." I pleaded him with all the strength I could muster up.

And he nodded, he is my last hope. I want him to remember the number. It's Shyam Bhaiyya's private number.

"Can you repeat the number for me Chaitu? I will get you a big gift after I get out." I promised him.

"I am very good with numbers akka(sister), see it's 9999888776." He beamed with happiness giving me a ray of hope.

"Can you please do that for me now Chaitu?" He nodded and ran away pushing a piece of wood down in a hurry.

My Mama woke up to the sound and looked at me. I hurt me to see her in that condition because of me. I wanted to run into her arms and sleep forever.

"Mama, wait for sometime. Papa will come." I assured her.

"I know Janu, but you are still bleeding. Does it hurt?" She asked me tears in her eyes.

"No Mama, I am a strong like you and Papa. It's doesn't hurt." I smiled ignoring the pain just to cheer my Mama.

Soon 4 guys came in running and started to yell at each other.

"How did they know that they are here? KILL them both." The lead guy announced walking out of the room.

I looked at my mom in panic, while she looked at me with pain.

"Don't kill her, kill me. Not my daughter please." She pleaded them while the guy came to her and hit her more.

Another smiled at mom's pain and stabbed me one more time with force this time giving me unbearable pain.

"Maa..." I whimpered while the other one kept hitting my mom.

When is the pain going to end? Please help me god.

I looked at my aching stomach and saw the main with a gun in his pointed at me. As soon he pressed the trigger I closed my eyes and welcomed the pain to hit me, but someone knocked the chair and making the bullet graze through my arm.

I opened my eyes and It was Papa, as soon as I saw him I felt relief washing over me.

Papa will take care of everything. Mama, Papa is here.

Papa is here.

He is for me and Mama. I can sleep in peace now. I can sleep forever.

"Janu! Janu! Stay strong, Please talk to me."  I heard voice.

I felt someone hug me and wet drops my arms.

"Stop crying, Everyone is fine.. Listen to me, Please.." The soothing voice pleaded.

I looked at my arm and saw Devansh hugging and crying in a small Ganesh room.

"Dev" I croaked and hugged him tight.

I don't ever wanna relive that day, I am and will always be scared for my parents well being. No one can ever bear the pain of losing yourself and your loved ones.

I sobbed through all my pain and trauma in his arms.

"Did you know how scared I was when I saw you walk away from the queue. I've been waiting here for the past 10 min with but you looked like a dead person mumbling Mama, Papa. Don't ever do that to me. I can't see you in pain. Please..Janu, my heart can't bear this..." He continued with tears oozing from his eyes but I kept enjoying the warmth of his hug ignoring all the words.

He was crying for me, He was scared and worried about me. I felt elated at his concern and love for me.

That's such a narcissistic thing!

"What happened to you? Why are you so scared of crowds and attention? What happened to your parents " He asked me the only question I won't be able to answer him.

"I don't know..." I shrugged at him and hugged him to shut him up from asking more questions. He put his hands around my back and held me tight.

"It's okay, if you don't wanna talk, you know. Just stay silent and be in my arms and remember whatever that I will always be with you. Don't ever scare me " He whispered and I cried at his words, I stayed in his hug, love and comfort.

That's when I realized, I love him, I love Devansh.

I, Jagati Jagadeesh Dhanraj love Devansh Raghuvaran with all my heart and soul.

It's not some stupid attraction between us, It's what Mama and Papa have, Love.

"Can we not go into the temple again? I'll pray from outside." I asked him breaking the hug.

"Okay! Whatever you want, Let's go and find my parents." He said and stood up giving me his hand.

We walked together with his hand in mine to his parents. It feels good to walk along his side, him protecting me making sure that no other person is touching me. I feel comfortable and carefree around him, I can be like Jagati not Jagruthi. I want to tell him everything and profess my feelings to him.

I love him, I always have and always will. I want him to be with me, not Sahastra. I want to call him mine.

How will he take the news though? Will he push me away after the truth? Who wants to come into a family where everyday is a life and death situation?

Should I tell confess about my feelings?

Wait for more of them in the next chapter, and I promise you will love it.

I wanted to update earlier but was kinda busy, I am gonna fix my schedule this week and make this book happen much faster than I did the last 3 weeks.

Sorry for being late!

So a question, Are you bored of this book?

Don't forget to vote and comment your views on this chapter.

Love,
Sneha