Wooyoung felt like shit.

That was the only word that could truly describe how he felt about himself.

It'd been 4 days since he and San had their 'breakup sex' and he could barely look himself in the mirror talk less about actually looking at San.

He'd never felt this way before. About anyone. He's fucked a lot of people and broken just as many hearts but never did he actually feel bad about his actions. Never did he feel attached.

San on the other hand felt the worst of it. Just simply looking Wooyoung made his heart ache. He knew that the younger would never look at him the way he wanted to. It's always been for the sex to Wooyoung.

This fact is what pissed San off the most. He was angry at himself and he was angry at Wooyoung. Hongjoong and him still weren't exactly on speaking terms but he knew he'd gotten over Wooyoung. San was happy that his best friend had moved on from the purple haired flirt.

Ever since Wooyoung told him how he felt, San's mood changed. He wasn't his smiley and happy go lucky self anymore. Everyone hoticed his shift in character, even Hongjoong. Though they still weren't speaking to each other that often Hongjoong still cared about him so he approached him to find out what's going on but San just brushed him off with a fake smile and a firm "I'm fine"

He was far from fine.

He sniffs a little and rubs his nose with the back of his hand as he folds his clothes into his luggage.

Yesterday he finally decided that he couldn't do it anymore. He was quitting KQ school of dance. He still couldn't really believe that he was leaving his dream behind but this is what must happen. He was wasting his own time and he knew it.

Choreographies that he could do flawlessly weeks ago he was now struggling at. He was dragging everyone behind and he'd rather leave than end up getting everyone in his group eliminated.

Everyone was supposedly working on their choreography in the practice room and he was busy packing and getting ready to leave.

All his clothes were now packed neatly as well as his shoes, toiletries and any other personal belongings. He didn't want to see anyone before he left so he begged the leaders to allow him leave quietly while everyone was busy.

He begins to roll his luggage to the door when he notices that damned silver object around his left wrist. He looked at his wrist and inspected the bracelet that Wooyoung got him, using his right fingers to run over the markings on the dainty accessory.

He bites his bottom lip then takes it off then he walks back to Wooyoung's dresser and places the bracelet on it. He looked longingly at the taller's bed and finally turns to leave.

The door bursts open abruptly, startling him a little. He meets the confused and angry eyes of Hongjoong first then everyone else followed.

"Oh thank god, you're still here. Where the hell are you going?" He rambles out as he wraps his arms around the younger in a hug.

"I'm leaving, you guys should go" San looks down avoiding their eyes. More accurately, avoiding Wooyoung's eyes.

"Leaving? Were you just gonna leave without saying anything? Why are you even leaving? What's going on?" Yunho adds, his brows furrowed in confusion.

"San talk to us" Hongjoong adds pleadingly but San just fakes another small smile at the shorter.

"It's nothing seriously. I guess I've sort of lost interest in the whole dance thing. I don't wanna keep wasting my time here y'know?"

"Lost interest? All your life all you've ever wanted to do was go to KQ now all of a sudden you've lost interest? Stop bullshiting me San or I swear to god..." Hongjoong replies furiously.

"You're all supposed the be in the practice room. Up and at em" A leader calls out from the doorway.

"Seonsaengnim, We're just ta--"

"I don't wanna hear anything, get going or you'll all be in trouble" The teacher cuts Hongjoong off.

Everyone looks at San one more time before filing out, San avoiding their eyes. Hongjoong frowns a little before leaving as well. Wooyoung being the last one, he stares at San and San found himself staring back.

"Are you leaving because of me?" He asks quietly and San just shakes his head not trusting his voice to not crack. He composes himself after a few short seconds that almost felt like hours.

"No. I'm leaving because of me"

Wooyoung frowned at his response. What does he mean?

"Wooyoung! Get moving" The leader's voice calls out again and Wooyoung breaks their intense eye staring contest then he walks out the door glancing at San one last time.

It might've just been the tears that were building up again in his eyes that blurred his vision but San swore he noticed Wooyoung had a look of... guilt and regret which of course would be impossible. After all, when has Wooyoung ever felt guilty about anything?

"This is all your fault! You've been messing with him now he's finally had enough of your mind games" Yunho curses at Wooyoung when they were all back at the practice room.

"W-what?" Hongjoong looks between Wooyoung and Yunho with an upset look on.

"Wooyoung's been sleeping with San. Am I wrong?" Yunho spits out and everyone, besides Jongho, looked at the culprit with looks of confusion and question. Hongjoong of course already knew this but he was still shocked. He figured that they'd stopped a while ago.

Wooyoung just looks away not really saying anything. "Say something damn it!" Hongjoong raises his voice, startling even Mingi who stood by his side.

"What do you want me to say huh? Sorry I fucked him so hard that he decided he had enough? He confessed to me that he was in love with me so I told him the truth... I don't feel the same way" He blurts out, his eyes watering up a little at the lies he keeps telling himself.

He quickly blinks then looks away to keep his tears caged in his eyes. No more tears, please. He begged himself.

Hongjoong was speechless at the revelation. He's been a victim of Wooyoung's fuckery but thankfully Mingi had rescued him. Unluckily, San has no one to rescue him. Now he's caught in his own feelings, unable to escape.

"You bastard... Fuck you" Was all Hongjoong muttered out before finally walking out practice room. Mingi stood there hesitantly before quickly speed walking after Hongjoong.

Wooyoung wasn't fazed by his words though. He didn't care. No more like he didn't have the energy to care.

San spent the rest of the day busing back go Busan. He was more than ready to crawl into his mother's side and cry like he was a child again.

When he finally arrived, he smiled sadly to himself as he stood in front of his door, a small apartment building. Then he knocked a few times. He was sure his mom was gonna be shocked to see him, after all she wasn't expecting him to be home for another 5 months.

The door opens and he meets the warm brown eyes of his mom. She smiles widely and envelopes him in a hug. "San... What're you doing here?" She says in a surprised and an excited voice as she squeezes her son lightly.

"Well it's sort of a long story" He mutters out with a small smile as he returns the embrace, hugging her smaller frame longingly.

"Come on, don't just stand at the door" She ushers while turning to walk inside.

San pulls his bag and follows close behind her. After taking his things back to his room and settling into more comfortable clothes he makes his way to the kitchen where his mom was busy cooking some food.

The whole apartment smelt heavenly and San felt his mouth water. He didn't realize he was that hungry until he heard his stomach grumble.

"Mom, it's been forever since I've had some of your food" San whines and slumps in one of the seats at the dining table.

"Well if I knew you'd be done this early I'd have prepared more but this is all last minute so I hope you like it" She says with a wide smile as she resumes her cooking.

San bites his bottom lip, a guilty look on his face at her comment. He didn't finish early, he quit.

"So how was the training?" She speaks up again.

"Mom... I didn't actually finish... I- I dropped out" San stutters out, his voice barely audible but she heard him loud and clear.

"What?" She turns to him in disbelief.

"I just lost interest, that's all" He adds while looking down to his fingers. He didn't really want to look at her because he knew that she had this superpower of making him talk when he doesn't want to just by one glance.

"Ok" She replies simply, turning back to the stove and stirring the sauce that she had on it.

San looks at her in surprise. 'Ok'? That's it?

His mom was definitely quite disappointed that her son had quit one of the most prestigious dance schools in South Korea and just because 'he lost interest'. She knew that he was lying and that there was more to it but she decided not to push it for now. He'll tell me when he's ready.

San on the other hand was just glad that his mom didn't try prying further. He was tired of being sad. He just wanted to eat and feel like his old self again. He knew it'd take a while because even at that second he couldn't help but wonder what Wooyoung was doing.

"Food is ready" She calls out, breaking San from his little trance.

He smiles in gratitude as his mom places plate after plate of food in front of him. "Mom, how am I supposed to eat all of this?" He whines with a small laugh and she pinches his cheek softly.

"You need to eat up. You leave for Seoul for a couple weeks and now you're all skin and bones. They don't feed you well enough there"

He just rolls his eyes in response and begins to dig in. He was already beginning to feel better. Food really does cure every illness.

The day quickly came to an end and San spent it talking and trying to catch up with all his friends that he left behind. When he was ready to go to bed he tossed and turned for what felt like forever but he just couldn't sleep.

His mind kept wandering to a specific person. He sits up in frustration and gets up to grab some water from the kitchen.

He gulped down a glass of cool water then slams the cup back down. A small sigh escapes his lips then he runs his hand through his hair, pulling it ever so slightly.

He felt his bottom lip quiver as fresh tears began building up again as Wooyoung's words kept replaying in his head like a broken record.

I'm not in love with you, San. I've never been in love with you and I'll never be in love with you. The sooner you get that through your head, the better

Drip.

Drip.

Drip..

Tears fell one after the other on the marble countertop he leaned over. He bit his lip harshly, nearly drawing blood.

His grip around the glass cup he held tightened. He had his gaze fixed on said cup but because of the tears pouring out his eyes the cup appeared hazy and distorted.

He flinches a little when he feels a pair of arms wrap around him from behind in a hug. He glances to the side and saw that it was his mom, her cheek resting on his back.

The blonde quickly wipes his cheeks and sniffs a few times. "I- I'm fine" His voice cracks.

"No. You're not. Talk to me"

San turned to face her then he hugged her, burying his face in her neck then he let it out. His mom lightly caresses the back of his head.

He sobbed loudly, his hand grabbing her pajama shirt in a tight fist. His chest hurt both emotionally and physically. His face was red and his cheeks were wet from his salty tears.

"I-I'm not f-fine mom" He stutters out.

ᕙ - ᕗ

sad hours ftw,, 👀

Side note though....... The day Yunho dyes his hair pink or red I'll sell my soul to the devil 😩😷