The bus ride back was long and chilling. The bus itself had more people on it than he anticipated. Then again it's barely past 8pm on a Friday night so the night was really just starting for some.

He threw his hood up, concealing his face as best as he could mainly because they were a lot of youth his age and he knew he looked like a mess while they all seemed happy and with their friends. At least let me keep some of my dignity.

He found himself in a corner of the bus and just sat in silence the whole time, keeping to himself and listening to the conversation around him.

Eventually Wooyoung found himself making his way up the small stairs leading to his front door, his hand digging through his pocket for this house keys. The breeze from the cool night air blows his hood off as he fidgets with the door handle. Though it was only late August the early autumn weather was already beginning to creep in.

The house was dark. Nothing out of the ordinary. He makes his way to the kitchen to grab some food, probably something unhealthy, before he would retreat to his room. As he stood by the pantry door that's when San comes walking into the kitchen with a blank expression on and a crinkled piece of paper in his hand.

A few minutes earlier

San's breathing slowly became laboured as he stared down at his name written boldly on a letter. His university acceptance letter.

He had it this whole time?

"Surprise" The voice chuckles through the speaker.

"I don't- why.. You're framing him aren't you. What the fuck is this?" He was beginning to get riled up.

"I'm not framing anyone" The voice says mockingly. "He took the letter and hid it from you all out of pettiness knowing how important getting in is to you. Now do you get what I've been trying to say? He doesn't care about anyone but himself"

"Just shut up" San snaps as he pulls himself up on his feet, pacing back and forth in the room and repeatedly running his hand through his hair.

He releases a shaky breath as he looks at the letter again. There was a due date to pay a fee before they give his spot to someone else. And that was tomorrow.

Just then he hears the door open and close downstairs and he knew who it was. He immediately ends the phone call without saying anything else to the anonymous stranger. Then he made his way down the stairs.

Wooyoung slowly looks towards the entrance of the door once he senses the presence of someone else. Their eyes met for the first time in days.

And silence settles. Wooyoung's brows furrows slowly when he sees the confusion and.. hurt in San's eyes. He missed him a lot obviously but he wasn't sure where this would go. In fact just being in the same room as him at the second made his skin tingle. In the quiet of the house all he could think about was how badly he wanted to run into his arms despite knowing how the older had hurt him.

San on the other hand had multiple things running through his head. And it all rooted from the fact that Wooyoung had his letter this whole time. He finally swallows the lump in his throat and lifts the letter up. "You had it the whole time" It wasn't a question.

Wooyoung's gaze shifts to whatever San held in his hand. At first he was confused having no idea why he was being so vague then he caught a glimpse of the logo of a university on the top corner and his heart drops.

He opens his mouth to say something but his voice was caught in his throat. "I-I can explain-"

"Explain what?" San cuts him off his voice rising in volume. "You had it the whole fucking time. You knew how important this is to me"

"I was gonna tell you-"

"That you took it and hid it out of pettiness?! Fuck. I- I found it crumpled up under your bed. You were never gonna tell me shit" He was getting angry, his grip on the crinkled letter tightens turning his fingers white.

Wooyoung became defensive. "I didn't take it out of pettiness. I took because.. I didn't want you to leave. It was weeks before we fought"

"You admitting you had it for that long makes it even worse" San spits in disbelief.

"You would've done the same thing!" Wooyoung knew he was in the wrong but he was just so frustrated with.. everything. And he let his frustration talk for him.

"Are you fucking serious right now?! Wooyoung I would've supported you. I would've been happy for you. Not hold you back all out of selfishness" San yells.

Wooyoung runs his hand through his hair in anger. "Don't you get it I didn't wanna lose you! Ok?" He felt his eyes sting with fresh tears. "I was a dumbass and fell in love my step brother and I didn't want to lose him. You were gonna move across the country and forget about us. So yes I did it because I love you and I'd do it again"

"I loved you first, I always have!" San snaps back. "From the start I felt something for you but you never reciprocated it. All you wanted was sex, right? You didn't care about what I wanted. How I felt. It's always what Wooyoung wants. Who Wooyoung wants to fuck and play around with"

"So now you wanna pin this on me? I'm just this big bag manipulator is that it? Like you haven't hurt me too. Things were going so well with us then suddenly you started acting so cold. For days you wouldn't talk to me. I felt like it was my fault like I did something wrong. And then all that hurtful shit you said. That I'm disgusting and putrid to you. Even despite all that I still can't stop the way I feel about you" He rambles tears spilling out his eyes. He wasn't even entirely sure what he was saying. His mind numb and he just let his heart speak.

It was like both their gates came crashing open. "I'm dumb and hurt and I'm sorry. I keep fucking everything up and I don't know what I'm doing" He brushes his disheveled hair back.

"I acted the way I did to protect us. And I didn't tell you to protect you. Everything I've done was for your sake. All those things I said were a mistake. I didn't mean any of them. But I was angry with myself and I was angry at the world. And I ruined everything" San's replies, tears falling too.

What started with San confronting him about why he had his letter slowly escalated into them finally letting everything out.

Silence.

Wooyoung wasn't entirely sure what he meant but he didn't bother asking. "I-I really do have feelings for you San" His hoarse voice breaks the quiet.

San gulps and Hongjoong's words ran through his head over and over like a record on repeat. "We're not good for each other Wooyoung" He shakes his head, sniffing back his runny nose.

Wooyoung bites down on his bottom lip. "This-" San waves his finger between them. "Us. We can never work out. Not just because of our parents or the fact that we're supposed to be family but... we're just too damaged for each other. I'm a mess Wooyoung" He laughs painfully but Wooyoung felt his bottom lips quiver as more tears threatened to fall.

"I'm an unstable mess. We're both messes. We just.. need some time away from each other. We've hurt one another for long enough"

Wooyoung dips his head forward and he wringes his hands together. "I'm sorry" He croaks out with a scratchy voice. "I'm sorry for your letter, for hurting you. For everything"

San made his way towards him and brought the shorter male into his chest. Wooyoung immediately accepts the hug, burying his face inSan's chest then finally letting go. His eyes squeezed shut and he let his cries echo around the kitchen.

"I'm so fucking sorry Wooyoung" San mutters against his hair. "I don't think I could ever make it up to you but I'm so sorry for all those things I said. For the way I treated you" San felt the younger quiver in his hold as he cried and he held him tighter. Scared that he'd lose him even though he knew it was probably too late.

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*ducks and hides* 🤺