Genre: Short Story—Mystery/Thriller

Title
I do like your title. It ensues the question, "What did the rain tell?" It makes me curious to see what that answer is. Well done. +1 point for making the reader interested from just looking at the title!

Although, the word "the" shouldn't be capitalized. That's a minor issue though, so no points given or taken. Just something to keep in mind.

Cover
Your cover is very nice. The lightning signifies rain, and I like the ominous black and white colors.

The only thing I have is that the font doesn't really speak "mystery/thriller" it me, you know? That's really picky of me, though, so no points given or taken for that. I do still like your cover! It looks great.

*since your story is only one part, I'll be reviewing that all in one go*

Note that I've already read this previously as a reader, but I'll be critiquing it, now. :)

Onward!

What the Rain Told
I love the graphic at the top. The Victorian Era is one of my favorites! The opening line is very intriguing, too. Very nice. You have a way of words that is very artistically placed. I like it, although it may become the notorious purple prose, if used too much. It will be kept in mind. +1 point for the immediately interesting first paragraph. This is one of the most important parts of a story, as you know.

What I've noticed is that you describe the atmosphere and setting around Doris, but you don't describe where Doris is. Does that make sense at all? I hear all about the weather, the skies, the birds, the smell of the air...but what I don't hear is if Doris is standing on a street, or on the porch of a house, or in the countryside. Do you see this problem? I'm given a nice, vivid picture of everything else, but I don't know where Doris is. You never really give us a real picture of the outdoor setting until the group enters the mansion (although you do say "English countryside" and "in the middle of nowhere" and "London"). For this, I'm going to have to take a point away. You're breaking even. Sorry! No hard feelings? This error doesn't take away from the overall reading experience, so it's not a major concern, but it did give me trouble in visualizing the scene before the group enters the mansion.

Aren't there houses around the mansion, since it's London? If not, how has she not noticed it? Is it because of the storm? If there are houses around, why did Doris choose the mansion? And if there are houses around, then how are they in the middle of nowhere? These details are a bit unclear to me. I realize that it's a one-shot short story with a word limit, but you should have room to explain this. :)

It seems strange to me that the man of the house opened the door to them. He owns such a "lavish" mansion, as you put it, that it seems as though he would have many servants/slaves to do his bidding. At least a butler, surely, don't you think? If he was meant not to have servants, perhaps explain why. Doris will be sure to notice they there aren't any servants, I imagine, too. I wonder why you didn't include this.

I love the gradual reveal of Doris' reputation as a "spiritualist" con, and how she uses the children as the voices of the spirit (when mentioning Laurel, especially). First from her antagonistic character, to her orders to the children, to the children themselves, and finally to the attempt of seance (only to be thwarted by their hosts' deaths). +1 point for great placement. You're at one point so far.

I must admit that the mirror part confused me, with the "dead" Alice peering through and grabbing Doris. I don't see why that happened. Was Doris seeing things? I suppose it's all a puzzle for the reader to figure out, right? So, no points given or taken for that. However, I'm going to give you a point for a great ending! It thoroughly surprised me the first time I read it.

I'm giving you another point for the explanation at the end. Dementia was a good twist on your part, and something that I'm glad you added. I'm glad you added the mirror and the clock information. Great work. I also really liked the secret sentence you put in there.

So, overall, readerofftheradar got three points! In total, it was a great piece of writing. It all just came down to logistics. Nice work!