Title
I like your title a lot. Very intriguing. It holds even more meaning with the story in mind! +1 for that! Great title.

Cover
I like the composition of your cover, but the picture in the background doesn't really fit the blurb. Either tie it in with the blurb, or change it. It doesn't tie in with the plot as far as I know, either. Perhaps it'll tie in with the actual story in its future parts, though, so for now I'm going to keep the point value neutral.

Blurb
Your blurb is fantastic, but I have a question for you. Are the things described in your blurb the central conflict?

*since your story has nine parts, I will be reviewing two parts at a time, coming to around four portions of review*

Parts 1 & 2
You have grammar/mechanical errors strewn throughout this part. First of all, make sure you indent your paragraphs consistently. Inconsistency is a blatant error in the eyes of a reader. This goes with your grammar, too. Make sure you're using parentheses correctly. Also, use ellipses correctly by connecting them directly to the next phrase...like this. Another thing to remember is when to use the appropriate end-marks. It's not correct to have a period after a question, isn't it? Be careful about your use of the different dashes—make sure the next clause is lowercase (with the obvious exceptions). -1 for that and your total is zero.

Instead of spelling "lucid" like T H I S, simply italicize it. It will hold the same emphasis and meaning while being more correct and professional. The same goes for "MOVING ON." Italicize it. If you need more emphasis, then you need to equip your language and paint that emphasis.

I feel as though your freestyle poems at the beginning of the second part could easily disrupt the flow from Part 1 to Part 2.  I like the subtle hints of something more going on, though.

You shouldn't have to tell the readers that her words were sarcastic. They should be able to tell on their own. Also, even though you say that the book deserves its own chapter, I think it would flow better to combine Part 1 and Part 2. It would also make your parts a bit longer. The same goes for many of your chapters. The confusing, abstract ideas that you write would work better condensed. This would make things much more exciting, too.

Parts 3 & 4
Similar to my comment about the sarcasm, you shouldn't have to ask your readers if something is a weird analogy. You should never give your readers doubts about how great your writing is. Your writing should attest to that. If you're unsure about writing something, either don't write it or don't write it. Otherwise, your readers will be unsure, too.

Now that I've realized that your story is actually made up of excerpts from the main character's book, you should express that idea clearly much earlier. Another idea would be to include a sort of introduction where whomever imprisoned her says something like, "This is the last thing we know about Thea." You know what I mean. A forward to give a bit of context and to make it clear that the story is made up of the excerpts would be a great edition. 

Finally, Thea's story! I think that you should try to condense the parts before Thea's story into one do we don't have to wait as long. It's okay to have longer chapters! Mine are typically 1000 or more words.

You use a lot of sandcastle illustrations. Was this intended?

Parts 5 & 6
Keep in mind the difference between hyphens, en-dashes, and em-dashes. Even if you don't know how to make an em-dash appear digitally, you can always use two hyphens or a space, a hyphen, and a space to signify an em-dash. Here are some further tips about dashes (as well as instructions for how to make them on most computers):

Your dialogue is a bit clunky in your fifth part. Sometimes the words of the dialogue reveal the intent themselves. The dialogue after you tell the readers that a new thought occurred to Thea already tells us that she had just realized something. You don't need to tell us by breaking up the dialogue. Also, make sure you're using commas correctly (in and out of the dialogue). Sometimes you need one, but there isn't one there. It might help to read your story aloud. Natural pauses mostly mean that you need punctuation (keep in mind that it's not foolproof and that there will still be errors to the method, but it will help immensely). This is a consistent error, so I'm taking a point off. Your total is -1.

Very interesting twist with the girl, though, and with Thea's predicament! I had never expected that situation, and for that, great job surprising me. +1 and you're breaking even!

The specific internal thoughts of Thea should be italicized.

Parts 7-9
The list in the seventh part should be formatted into a regular list or with numbers and parentheses (if you use numbers and parentheses, look up the correct way to use them).

I would suggest putting the poems in paragraph form (narrative—regular format) rather than in the lowercase-stanza-thing you have going on. Like I said before, I don't understand the point of putting poems in your story unless it's necessary that it's a poem. Having a poem in there disrupts the flow or the actual plot (even though it's worded like a paragraph). I would use the correct capitalization, as well. I understand that you were trying to create an aesthetic effect, but incorrectness is incorrectness in this case. If it had been a poetry book, I would have liked it (even though I don't review poetry books), but in this case, the poems are inconsistent with the rest of the story.

Be careful with your capitalization, too. I hardly ever use words in all-caps because the formatting is inconsistent. The same emphasis and effect can easily be obtained via italics and the correct use of language. For your information, onomatopoeias need to be italicized (not capitalized), as well. I'm going to take a point off for these things, making your total -1.

What an interesting concept, with all of these markings and tongues and powers! What a twist! I like it a lot. However, I suppose now is the time to tell you what I've been thinking all along throughout the reading: your story is really abstract and slow-moving. For one, you introduce many different elements in chapters. Many chapters are just composed of thoughts. Is there any way to condense those chapters to make your story more exciting to the readers? Sometimes I find myself skimming parts. What you want readers to do as an author is to drink in your words and to hold on to each word for dear life because they love it so much. There were only two exciting things in your story that I can recall off the top of my head: the time when Riana came and told Thea that she wasn't really there and the time that Thea met all of the other characters. The times in between were unclear and had ideas that I couldn't quite grasp the meaning of. All of those abstract things are sometimes confusing, as well. Make sure you make them clear, and that you only mention things that are necessary—important things. Whether it's a transition or a turning point, make sure that it's clear and important. Make the readers hang on to your every word. That's what makes a story fantastic. I'm going to give you a point for the exciting twist and concepts, though.

Overall, all_hail got zero points! The total probably has something to do with the fact that your story only has nine parts so far. I feel like your plot had just started to roll along. In what you had so far, your biggest issues were grammar/mechanisms and slow-moving parts with confusing things. I love your idea and your descriptions. Your use of emotion was also admirable!