Title
You're title is very nice. Intriguing and not revealing. The problem that I have with it are the ellipses. Ellipses should always be three dots. No more, no less. Don't worry—this is a common error. I will pardon the error if you fix it! ;)

Cover
Your cover is very nice, as well! I like the mood it sets. The cover feels very ominous. I like that. +1 point.

Blurb
Your blurb has a bit of a strange format (at least on the mobile app it does). That might be something for you to look into in the future. However, the content (with the exception of some weird comma issues and of course more ellipse errors) was great. It was very interesting, but I have one concern with it: where is the plot in your blurb? Where is the conflict? What is trying to be resolved in your story? What makes it unique? Answer these questions without giving too much away and I think you'll have a smashing blurb.

*since your story comes in 35 parts, I'll be judging five parts at a time, coming to seven portions*

"There's Always a Reason"–Chapter 2
What an interesting way to start your story. I don't think I've ever seen anything like it. And I do like it. It sets a tone for the readers before even reading the actual story and it makes them even more anticipated for the story. Nice work with the first part.

The informative part with all of the characters seems unnecessary and overbearing. I know that if I was simply reading your story for the fun of reading (not that reviewing isn't fun!), I would have read the first part and probably skip the rest. For me at least, it's way too much information to just dump on me. I will never remember that. I remember stuff like that much better when that information is woven in with the narration, when it's given gradually. Who knows? You might have most of that in your story already. Consider taking out the entire part, because another thing it does is give away a lot of your story! No, I don't mean the plot. I mean the characters! Half of the fun of reading a story is to get to know the characters. They're like little riddles to solve, and figuring out things like where the character came from, how they got there, what they're like, and their full appearance are all part of the fun. We as readers get the freedom to formulate your characters in our own way. Yes, the author's informations guides us in this formulation, but we get to put the pieces together our way. That's part of the beauty of reading. Consider keeping that beauty and freedom real. :)

Your maps were actually quite nice (beside those pesky ellipses)! You did a good job with those. Now we're on to the actual story!

I think that you should explain why Leila is so excited about going to high school for the first time. I know you said to someone in the comments about how it makes Leila feel more human. I think that putting this in the actual text would really help make the transition between paragraphs one and two to be much more fluent.

There are a lot of grammar issues in your writing, and I won't mention them all, but the capital errors are ellipses and run-on/incorrect sentences. Ellipses, as I've mentioned before, are always three dots. Never more, never less. You also use ellipses too frequently. Perhaps doing a bit of research about ellipses might help you (or I can tell you in the comments if you'd like). Don't forget that titles of things are always capitalized, too (i.e. the Dark Forest). Don't forget!

Also, usually text isn't bolded unless they're headings or author's notes and the like. I wouldn't recommend bolding anything in the actual story. I know you said in the comments that you bold things for emphasis, but that is really the job of italics, not bold or capitalization. Be careful with your use of italics, as well. In this first chapter, it's not needed at all. I think this is something for you to do some research on (or ask me)! Dialogue should be plain text with quotation marks. Another thing is that you must separate each line in the same way, even if it is a dialogue exchange. However, let us move on to the next chapter after taking off a point.

Aww. That laughing part was actually kind of cute.

I have six new grammar issues for you to work on. Not that they're completely and utterly wrong, but I have professed a dislike for putting words in all-caps in previous reviews, and I will profess the same dislike here. To me, doing that it completely unnecessary. Italics and descriptive language should work just fine to get the emphasis you want. All-caps words look unprofessional to me. Another grammar problem is that you shouldn't even have to use asterisks (*) unless you want footnotes. Phrases like "ready-to-be-scolded" should have hyphens, like so. One more issue is that you shouldn't use more than one exclamation point or even question mark in a row unless it's one question mark and one exclamation point in a row ("!!" is incorrect, but "?!" is not). Finally, you should always have an end-mark after every sentence, even if it's dialogue. You must have punctuation (and quotation marks are not end-marks)! Onomatopoeias should be italicized, as well—not surrounded by asterisks. Don't forget end-marks with those, either! Specific thoughts from a character should be italicized, too. I'm going to take off three points for six errors. Your total is -3.

Chapters 3– 7
Please be careful with those ellipses! They must also connect with the next clause...like so. They are also three dots. Always.

Something that you do in your writing is that you tell and don't show. I know that's such a controversial topic nowadays and kind of a cliché thing to mention, but it's true for you. I'm not saying that you can tell—telling is for sure necessary in many ways. However, I'm informing you that your writing is lacking some of the showing part. What I mean by that is this: you simply say what happens or what a character feels. That's all well and good (and completely needed in parts), but you aren't describing things! Yes, you say that Leila wanted to go home after finding out hat she was Sean's mate, but what you didn't show was that her eyes—the color of amber and sparkling like snow—darted around the room as she swept her foot across the floor, avoiding Sean's gaze. Do you see how that shows how uncomfortable she was with the situation? I didn't even have to tell the readers that Leila felt uncomfortable. With the language I used, any reader could simply infer. I think this something for you to work on.

Another thing to work on is to describe more! Let's take the scene at the ceremony again, but this time where Alex and Anna have to suck each other's blood (gross!). When you wrote that part, it kind of sounded like you just put it out there and skipped it, like you didn't want to write it. I know that wasn't your intent, but imagine your readers' reactions if you had written something like, "I watched in horror as Alex leaned over Anna's arm, cringing as Anna inhaled sharply in pain. When Alex stood up straight again, I jolted back in disgust—bloodstains surrounded his mouth, and a thin line of crimson trickled out of the corner." I don't know the details of what that scene would really be like because I don't know half the basics of vampires, but you get the idea. Don't skip the little things—those things are so important! Sometimes they invoke the emotions within us, and that makes writing powerful.

You also tend to use some Internet lingo per say, such as "plz,"  "cuz," and "yh." This makes you look and sound unprofessional (and people don't say "plz" in real life!). Instead of "cuz," simply use "because" or "'cause." Do that with all of your Internet lingo. Be careful of that! Make sure that "I" is always capitalized, too. Also, instead of using extra vowels to add emphasis to a word ("soooooo"), why not simply use italics for the real word? That will make you look more professional, as well.

Chapters 8–12
I liked the surprise in Chapter 10 a lot! Good job! +1 point! Your total is -2.

I think that throughout this story, you don't really implement that many elements of vampire nature. I haven't hear anything about fangs, bats, mirrors, garlic, or being in daylight. I know some of those are a little ridiculous and often overlooked in vampire movies or stories, but the fangs especially should have been mentioned. You've mentioned blood, which is good, but I believe not enough. There's not enough discrimination between human and vampire—they sound and act the same. Shouldn't there be a bit of a difference? Show that difference.

Again with those ellipses and asterisks. Don't use asterisks! If someone is thinking for the right word, use ellipses for the hesitation. You could even say "for lack of a better word" after it. Do not use asterisks ("*gasp*" is incorrect—just say that the character gasped!).

Chapters 13-17
I personally don't think that you should use emoticons in your novel. Not because they aren't expressive, but because it takes away from your professionalism (in your "proper novel," as you said). Proper novels shouldn't have emoticons unless they're necessary for a text message within the story or something like that.

Careful about separating those paragraphs for dialogue when they should really be connected (and be careful with those ellipses!). I turned to my imaginary character and promptly said, "Like so."

See? Just like that. Connect the dialogue.

Chapters 18-22
There! Finally! In Chapter 20, you use Sean's vampire features! I'm so proud! +1! Your total is -1.

I also really enjoyed the tree scene in Chapter 21. Great job with the introduction of romance (and with more vampire features)! One more point and you're breaking even!

I really like the addition of the Rebel and the rogue—especially since you gave Sean and Leila something in common (dead parents). I was actually wondering where Leila's parents were the entire time, so perhaps you could integrate little bits about the Rebel and such way earlier. It doesn't have to be anything forward or revealing, but even just the mention of it would be fantastic.

Chapters 23-27
These last few chapters were fantastic! I especially loved the scene in the bed. ;) +1 point!

Your writing has improved a ton since your first chapter, and for that, I applaud you and give you a point! Improvement is so essential. Keep on reading and writing to improved! It'll help a lot!

Overall, Vampy_Adeen got two points! There were many grammatical issues and some writing style things you could improve on, but you have a real passion and drive to write. I like that about you. Keep writing; never stop. The more you write, the better you become. Let me know if you'd like any help with my tips—I'd be happy to!