Eracelli Package

Title
I like your title, but your blurb makes it seem like the talisman isn't the main focus of the story. If it is the main focus, then you should tweak your blurb.

Cover
Nice cover.

Blurb
I love your blurb. Enough said (and I typically don't love blurbs). Great work—you've impressed me already (keep in mind what I said about the title, though)! +1 point.

*since your story comes in 39 parts, I'll be reviewing five parts at a time. However, I'll be review the parts before the actual writing first*

Blurb-Reviews
The first eight parts were a waste of time on your part and my part in my eyes. First of all, you shouldn't need an extended blurb. Your readers have already read the blurb in the summary section outside of the story. There's no need to repeat yourself. Going along with that, your readers have opened your story to read your story. Do not delay them, or they will give up and find another story to read.

As for the artwork, it could easily be placed throughout the story strategically. For instance, you could display your quote artwork each time that quote appears, and you could put in the artwork of places and characters whenever they're first introduced. This would make everything flow more naturally, and your readers would actually get to read your story. I found myself scrolling past, thinking, When will I get to actually read this story?! -2 points because it was such a hassle. Your total is -1.

Prologue-Chapter 2
The only thing I would suggest for your prologue is that the Arabic words you use within italic text should be regular text instead of bolded text.

Also, the bolded and capitalized words in each first paragraph of each new part should just be bolded, I believe, to avoid confusion.

For your second prologue, you forgot to add the meaning of habibata in your glossary. Also, I wonder how young Scheherazade is here. She speaks beyond her years, but she's described as a little girl. She's almost absurdly emotionally developed. It's just a touch unrealistic for me, but I suppose I don't really know what her past and how it has affected her. It also almost seems like her and her father are unattached to each other. Why wouldn't she unconditionally trust her own father if he wasn't like a stranger to her? I think that you should rethink their relationship just a bit. I said a bit more about how to fix it in your manuscript (beta reading).

Also, the text in your graphics should be put into text in the actual chapter. The text in the picture is hard to read for me. Also, that means that when I try to review things offline, I miss part of the story because the graphics can't load without internet. That shouldn't have to happen! Just put the text of the graphics at the beginning in the actual story. -1 for the inconvenience you place on your readers in this. Your total is -2.

You should try to avoid using the word "you" in your piece. "One" could work much better for you.

There are many tiny things that I'm not going to put in here that would really put your story over the top, but because I'm just reviewing, I'm not going to mention them. My job as your beta reader on the side will help with those.

Ah, Chapter 1 explains Azade's relationship with her father from the second prologue. That makes so much more sense, but I wish it had been explained earlier so we readers could understand that prologue better. Like I said, my beta reading will really help with these kind of nit-picky things. I am limited in this review. Still, I liked Chapter 1 a lot. You introduce your world pretty decent. +1 for that and your total is -1.

Both Chapter 1 and 2 could be greatly enhanced with the addition of setting. We need to know where Azade is and how she interacts with the setting. We need to know more about how she got there, too. I feel like you focus too much on dialogue and not enough on other things in this chapter.

Chapters 3-7
You should try not to use words in all-caps, in my opinion. It's not necessary as you have italics. If you really need more emphasis on a word, then use other words to reinforce it. Use your language!

Once again, I feel like you're focusing on dialogue and not enough on anything else.

I loved the end to Chapter 7! What a surprise! However, I wish you would have built up to it. Still, +1. Your total is zero.

Chapters 8-Part Two
I liked these chapters. The only thing I have to suggest is to add more the. Just dialogue to your chapters. Dialogue helps, but it's only a portion of what actually goes on. There's so much outside of dialogue that I feel like I'm missing when I read your story. Add some setting! Tell us Azade's conflicted feelings. Tell us that her voice trembled, or that she reached to her neck when she told her story to protect it from being slit open. You see how much this could add to your writing? If you decide to rewrite this story, focus on adding things outside of dialogue. Your lines of dialogue are good, but it would be so much more enhanced with the adding of what I told you. Still, +1 because you caught my interest. Your total is one.

Chapters 1-4 (Rahim)
I wonder why you switched to Rahim's point of view. It's kind of confusing to readers and repetitive. Although his perspective adds some things that we readers hadn't seen with Azade's point of view, I still found myself scrolling through a bit—that means I wasn't really interested in reading through these scenes all over again. You also forced us readers to remember all of Azade's stories in order without any reminder. You didn't even really tell us what Rahim thought about the stories or if it reminded him of anything. The things that this new perspective adds to the story could easily be revealed through Azade's point of view , too (for instance, perhaps he looks immensely tired when Azade joins him for breakfast and inquires about it, telling the readers that Rahim never sleeps well). I think you should choose one point of view and be consistent with it (I would choose Azade).

Chapter 5 (Rahim)-Chapter 1
I think that even you got bored with writing from Rahim's point of view. It's basically the exact same thing since you focus on dialogue so much. Add some setting! Add some emotions! Write more than just dialogue. We readers need more than just dialogue. Did you know that over half of the communication that humans exchange is nonverbal? And for you to communicate effectively to your reader, you need to do almost the same.

Chapters 2-5
I live for Azade's stories. I just wish that they were longer. Also, isn't Azade supposed to tell of her travels? She told Rahim that her tales were of her travels. I, for one, want to hear more about Azade's past.

Chapters 6-10
This rebellion thing is moving very slowly for me. No real action is being done. Why isn't anyone else infiltrating the security (which seems to easy to infiltrate, by the way—too easy to be realistic for me) and trying to kill Rahim? Why does it have to be Azade?

Part 4-Chapter 4 (Rahim)
Like I said before, Rahim's part is too redundant to work for me. You're just repeating dialogue. However, this last part that revealed something about the talisman and the fire was actually pretty valuable to the plot, which got me thinking. Why don't you just write those point of views every other? Don't repeat dialogue—continue with the plot rather than repeating it over again—but add the stuff like that fire. This could make Azade's stories longer, Rahim's perspective a bit more valuable, a chance for insights into Azade's past more...this might just be the thing you need. -1 for all of those accumulating things, but +1 for the addition of the talisman-fire part that actually made a Rahim's perspective worthwhile to me for a chapter.

Overall, ESJohnson got one point! Your story needs a lot of little work, which is why I'm glad that you were willing to have me beta read it. However, you have a great base and a good regime. You have some really good moments. Now, it's time to enhance those moments. My biggest advice to you is to think outside of the dialogue. Setting. Emotions. Think little.