Title
I like your title. Simple, yet descriptive. However, I can't see very well why it's called that besides the reason being that the main character is black. It's barely even about that.

Cover
I have a critique and a shrug for you.

The critique is that the text, though I like the placement and the font, doesn't fit in the cover. I don't know why that is, but it kind of messes with me. :)

The shrug is that I'm wondering why you chose to put a white and black celebrity on the cover when your story is about a black girl facing racist oppression in everyday life. I'm sure it would be way to find a beautiful picture of a black woman that fits Habeebah's description. Also, on that racist oppression thing, now that I've read the entire book, I don't think it's about a black girl facing racist oppression. Am I right? Is it just a book about a black girl and her own struggles? If so, I think you should take out the subtitle on your cover.

Blurb
Really the only issues I have with your blurb are grammar problems. Commas, mostly. There are many helpful tools online in when to use commas and when they're not necessary. I won't list the rules here, but if you need any clarification or tips, I'd be happy to help! I love your message, though. :)

Although...if there isn't any racist oppression in your story, then I think it should be revised a bit.

*since your story comes in 13 parts, I'll be critiquing about two parts at a time for a total of six portions*

Cast–Prologue
You've probably heard that I don't really approve of casts. However, your cast isn't naming actors and the like to characters. It's just a "character list," as you put it. Perhaps you should change the title of that part to read "character list," as "cast" made me think of the actor thing.

Also, I'm not sure how necessary the list is. Your characters should be introduced naturally in time as the story progresses. Plus, the character list doesn't name the role of each person (with the exception of Aunt Leila). To a first time reader, your "cast" would just look like a useless list of names that don't really matter at this point. Consider taking the whole part out or revising it.

Your prologue is more of a preface. Prologues go with the plot of the story, setting tone and establishing important themes and foreshadowing. It's part of the real story. Yours, on the other hand, is you speaking to the audience, like a big author's note. Like I've said before, I love the message. It's just the little things so far that I have to critique.

Chapters 1-2
I believe that the first chapters starts off with too many descriptions and context and explanations. I'm craving a plot-line right now! With so much information, it's hard for me as a reader to remember a lot of it, and if it's important information, then that's a bit of a problem. It's completely fine to include those things in your story, but I believe that timing and integration are key. Spread out all that data within the storyline so that the readers have enough time to process it. Also, when the plot actually starts and the main character goes back to her house, the dialogue of the robot doesn't need to    be L-I-K-E T-H-I-S. In fact, I don't think it should be because it's hard to read and I'm not sure how to voice it in my head until you say it's a robotic voice. You can just type it out regularly as if a real person is speaking. Saying that it's a robot voice is good enough for me.

Tip: when you write onomatopoeias, they shouldn't be in quotes unless someone is speaking them. Otherwise, it's legal to italicize them.

Ping! What was that? Oh, just my reminder: the rules for ellipses! They're always...only three dots, and they connect directly to the next clause of the sentence, as well. This goes for all of your writing and is a consistent error, so I'm going to have to take a point off. Sorry!

Something about me is that I don't really approve of writing in all caps. Believe me, I know that many other authors use all caps, but I feel like the emphasis wanted for the words capitalized can be shown in the same way with italics and proper punctuation. Sure, writing texts and other media in your story with that style is acceptable, but to me, I never use words with all caps.

I'm not sure if it's on purpose, but whenever you use punctuation other than periods as end-marks, you don't need a period after. You should never have two punctuation marks next to each other. Since it's a consistent error again, I'm going to take another point off.

I appreciate the fact that you know about em-dashes and en-dashes and hyphens, but you use them incorrectly. Here's a quick guide of when to use each type:

Your writer's notes are really hilarious, I have to admit. However, I think that it takes away from your overall professionalism (I know that's not a goal of yours and I know that you don't want to take away your personality, but I think you'll get more reads if you have a more professional regime). :)

Chapters 3-4
You have a lot of punctuation and overall grammar issues. There are tons of resources online to help you with this if you're unsure. Even just reading a lot of books will help you improve your grammar. That's what has helped me. Its a consistent problem that needs some work, but don't worry—so many people struggle with grammar and understand! I, for one, have trouble remembering all of the rules for dialogue.

One thing: the city is called New York. It should be capitalized and separated for accuracy. I'm not sure what country you come from, but I'm sure it's easy to misunderstand. I, for one, know it's "New York" because I'm an American. :)

One of the few dialogue rules that I do know is that a paragraph with dialogue in it must be dialogue from only one character. With each new character that speaks, a new paragraph must be made.

If you must have a word that you need to extend (i.e. "Daaaaad!"), just be careful of overusing it, using it when you don't need it, and extending it too long. Because of it, I usually discourage this type of writing, but it's not illegal and I can see how it can be used effectively.

I feel like and hope that there's an underlying reason that Alex had to kill Bee's dad that will be discovered later on in the plot.

Titles of songs, movies, books, and all of that should be capitalized accordingly. There are some slight exceptions to the capitalization, though, so I would suggest looking those up if you don't already know. Otherwise, I'd be happy to tell you. :)

Chapters 5-6
Something that I keep seeing is that you say again and again how beautiful everything is, but you don't give us detail! I've been to New York myself (actually two weeks ago!), and I know that at night, the whole world lights up with the whole spectrum of colors, and that even at night, the streets are super busy with all different kinds of people. It's so crazy. I think you're kind of shafting your readers with the information you give. Describe! We need to picture the setting clearly, and that's really hard for people who haven't been to New York (if you haven't been to the city, that is). If you don't have a clear picture yourself, look it up and see!

I think it's a big unrealistic that Bee hasn't seen a white person in New York until the one woman. I get that Nigeria doesn't have many and that New York is diverse, but it's not void of white people. Also, wouldn't she have seen some at the airport or on the plane? It doesn't make much sense.

I think you mean psychic. This is also a consistent error.

If it's winter/late fall, there shouldn't be a garden with flowers unless it's in a climate-controlled greenhouse. They would have already died from the cold, especially with the snow.

Instead of bolding words in the text, try italicizing them instead.

Wow. The ending to Chapter 6 was fantastic. Amazing twist. The way you wrote it was great, too—descriptive and emotional. It was dramatic and it actually made me gasp! Good job! I'm going to give you two points for that so you're breaking even. Fantastic work.

Chapters 7-8
Punctuation should go inside of the quotation mark at the end of dialogue.

"You mean like this?" asked the mystery review character who somehow made his way back into one.

But yes, mystery character. Like that.

"Seems weird."

Yes, but that way is correct.

That dream—wow. Repulsive, scary and even sad at the same time. Another point for surprising me!

Like I said before, ellipses should always be three dots. If you need a pause to be longer, just stop the dialogue and say that there was a pause or a hesitation. You can narrate it however you want!

Another thing about ellipses is that you can't use them as an interruption. When a character gets interrupted, you should use an em-dash (—) instead of an ellipse.

Chapters 9-11
You'd think that if Habeebah really got hit by a car that Jason and his mom would immediately rush her to the hospital. Even if she passed out in front of the car, I mean. And what about the car and its driver (if there was one)? Jason should have gotten out of the car or his house in shock and should have called the police. It's a bit unrealistic, even though being in Jason's room is pretty romantic and a great scene. Perhaps something else would happen to land her somehow in Jason's room. Maybe after they go to the hospital she can't return home because there's no caretaker there to watch her (like Ms. Florence is trying to watch over Bee's mother). Or something.

Should Bee be surprised by the full American breakfast presented to her? Don't Nigerians eat something else for breakfast, or what? And what about halal? What if the food is accidentally outside of her limits? Shouldn't she ask? Correct me if I'm wrong, because you know more than I do about Nigeria. :)

You shouldn't have to remind your readers that Habeebah is Muslim (which, yes, I did actually forget!). It should be apparent throughout the entire story and it should be something engrained into her character and values. Us readers should never forget that about her because you tell us—not directly, but indirectly integrated. Don't remind us she's Muslim; describe her hijab for a day and maybe a halal meal. The Arabic in Chapter 11 helped the issue a lot, but I'd forgotten earlier until the reminder in Chapter 10. You see? You can show, but not tell (although sometimes telling is necessary with other things). Also, I think that saying "God" all the time make me think she was Christian even though you did say that she was Muslim only because I myself separate "God" and "Allah" even though I know that Muslims say God, too. I think the reminders will clear that up without problems.

Little American dialect lesson: Americans don't say "Mum." We actually say "Mom." British and American spellings and dialects differ actually quite a bit, from colour and color to fries and chips to water-closet and bathroom. It's kind of funny. ;)

Better circumstances. Ha! I like that line a lot.

Aw! What a good ending! Finally I end an unfinished story on a good note! ;) Another point for that!

Overall, harleeyah24 got two points! Grammar and punctuation is what you should work on, my friend. Remember: punctuation one at a time and ellipses are for pauses and are only three dots!

Your writing itself was great! I love your style and the soul that you put into your voice in writing. It has such vivid emotions—it's almost like a dream, but reading words. That's how all writing should be. :)